Due in Sept '07 - new thread (ish) until we can think of a good thread name, because we didn't notice the message counter and oops we've run out of room for messages!!! Am lost, here alone, come and find me.. HELLLLOOOOO

[Hopeitwontbebig]

Oooh this bad Boxer has just farted and it STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kinki so sorry you're going through such a rough time but don't apologise for talking about it here - get it off your chest!
I can understand why a pregnancy seems overwhelming if you're already depressed. It's a huge change and responsibility and then there's the terrible state of the world - i don't mean to be a downer but I can see how a gloomy thought process spins downwards.

felt a bit frantic myself this week due to bbc messing me about with maternity pay. won't bore you with details but all rather traumatic to be expecting one amount and then be told it would be substantially less. gulp. seems ok now but don't quite trust them anymore.

one bbc related question to mrsmar with apologies to everyone else. do you get car park tickets because you're pregnant? as others have said, the commute is by far the worst part of my day. an hour each way two tubes and a bus and even though i start and finish early to avoid the worst of it, it can still be busy and if i don't get a seat people rarely stand up.

hear hear on heartburn and puking. was sick at my desk on wed. sigh. don't think anyone saw. what can you do? one minute you're fine, next minute heartburn starts up, i start coughing and bob's your uncle.

right, i'm off to watch new drama by the 'cutting it' woman. who wants subtle on a thursday night?

Hi ECATLM - I get car park tickets because my shifts finish after 22.45, I have the choice of public transport in and taxi home or drive both ways, and I've decided that if it gets too much I'll start driving. I'm not sure what the policy is with allowing parking if you don't finish late.... I'm sure they must allow it if you have real problems, I can't see why not. I hope they're kind to you!

Hi Kinki

Don't apologise for seeking support from us if that is what you need....sometimes it is easier to write things down somewhere like this as well. I am no expert but I know that talking to my friends who know my DH is actally sometimes not that helpful as they are too close to me and the situation, so posting here where there is support but a bit of distance can be good.

Pregnancy has been much tougher than I thought it would be hormonally so don't beat yourself up and say whatever you need.

kinki - don't apologise ! So sorry you are having a bad time. Take care of your self and get some rest . Hope tomorrow is a better day ! Think its a good idea to talk to the Doc as she can offer you some support too.

love to everyone else. Am away this weekend so will catch up on Monday xxx

Hi all. Hope everyone is well. Am 31 weeks pregnant on Saturday and am KNACKERED! Have 1 yr old DD, although she is beautiful and gorgeous etc keeps waking me up at 5.30am. DP (although definitely not so D at the moment) has never ever offered to get up to look after littleun so I can have a lie in and I'm getting so bloody resentful its causing a lot of tension between us. We go to bed at the same time but he always gets up hours after me.

Am seriously considering just walking out for a bit. He says its because he works all week - what does he think I do? Knitting all day while the pixies look after DD and do the housework???? Is making me very tearful and I don't know what to do. Excuse the rant, I didn't know who else would listen to an over-emotional mum and mum-to-be

Pssst, I've put a very funny pic of that bad boxer on my profile. It's right at the bottom...

Trinity, I'll listen, we all will

I had to go off for a while, because he came home. I went to bed and had a couple of hours sleep already. Woken up feeling hungry, but thought I'd come on here instead.

Thank you so, so much for your kind words. Its encouragement and support that I find extremely heartwarming. Afterall, we're all strangers, yet you care. Apart from some friends, I don't have much support around me, so you have been invaluable when I've needed it. My plan is this: get some good sleep tonight; see dr in the morning and tell her how bad h gets; (got work tomorrow, will just keep my head down and get it done); remain calm and dignified around h; try very hard to forget the stuff he said.

He's not packed before. Can't even remember how it started now. Ended with my character asasination. Think if I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't take it all so personally.

Thank you once again friends. Off to get more sleep now.

Trinity, don't walk out. Read through the words that everyone has written tonight. Share them with me. That wisdom can be applied to all of us! Hang on in there. We CAN do this. .

Night all. Tomorrow's another day, sunshine after rain, things can only get better ........

Hi Trinity. I am 31 weeks on sunday and have a 20 month dd. she is a right handful (as she should be at that age!) and i'm sure i couldn't cope at all without the help of dh. he gets up with her every morning and also does her bath. he works from home so he is generally around, which does make it easier and i work three days a week so our situations are different if you're a sahm - but i'd say i'd need MORE help if i was a sahm. i find being a mother exhausting, esp while pg. Can you talk to your dh? Maybe you could show him this thread or another about how tiring full time childcare is? he needs to understand just how you feel, physically and emotionally while pregnant - esp if not getting your sleep.
does your dd get up at that time or can she be persuaded back to sleep (in your bed maybe? i know it's bad but we went through phase of doing that). Can you nap while she does in the afternoon (if she does?).
I don't think you are being over emotional at all so don't apologise! We're all here for support but you need some help at home too. Even with my dh's help, i'm usually in bed by 10. (indigestion keeping me up tonight) I know dh doesn't enjoy getting up so early every morning but i do appreciate it and hell, i'd swap him for chidbirth...as i have pointed out from time to time!

Thanks so much for your kind advice, Kinki. Its just that every now and then it would be so nice to have a teeny weeny little break from bottles and beakers and mucky nappies etc etc and just have a rest when pregnancy tires me out. Way back when we were planning DD#1 we agreed that when he's home we'd split the responsibilities, but that never happened. Think he just got into the mindset of 'oh, she'll do it', and she does...Have told him how I feel, but I get the 'but I work all week' excuse and I don't want to lose my temper now because it won't be pretty being all hormonal so I just get all tearful and he rolls his eyes like its my fault.

Am just getting very anxious with only a few weeks to go with DD#2 almost here and am so worried how I'm going to cope with 2 babies under 18mths old and a lazy bastard of a (not so) DD! Feel like a single parent. !!!

ps i have been known to threaten to leave in middle of a row. sometimes it seems the only way to get them to understand your point of view is to experience it. but with my calm head on, prob best to try to explain how you feel and let him air his woes too... easier said than done i know.

Hi Enormouschangesatthelastminute - can I borrow your DH pleeeeease!? He sounds like a total angel. Think thats one of the problems - the lack of sleep. Like you I've got bad heartburn so am living off gallons of milk and bisodol at the moment. Have to have main meal before 5pm. DP and I are usually in bed by 10pm but heartburn keeps me awake for hours on end whilst he's lying there fast asleep. DD does wake early but putting her in our bed won't send her back to sleep - once she's awake - that's it!

Is causing such a bad atmosphere in the home, I just don't understand why he can't see what my issue is with him. Am even tearing up writing this. xxx

he is no angel and nor am i and believe me we have our humdinger rows and then when we calm down things get sorted out!
out of interest, what would you dh do if you were ill? what if you had to have a day or two of bed rest..?
someone once told me that in australia you were entitled to ring work and tell them you needed a 'mental health day'. basically a sick day when things are all getting a bit much. maybe you just need a mental health day. and your dh needs to know how hard it is to fill your shoes...

it sounds rough and you need to get it sorted. i know that can't sleep cos you had something to eat feeling. oh yes. imo your dh has to at least split weekends with you. i'm assuming he gets up for work five days a week. apart from anything else he'll have to once the baby is born! have you tried talking to him? you can't keep doing everything. you'll end up crowning him (i know i would)!

HIWBB, looks like he is a cheeky chappy indeed! What did the owners say about his behaviour in the end?

MrsMar, a 60 hour week!!?? That's just not fair at all! Did your workman adjust the height of the shower for you? I bet you can't wait to have it all finished! You might be jealous of me starting my maternity already but I'm jealous of you making a start on your house - I've got all that to do yet!!

Pennypops, I really don't envy you having to commute, it must be unbearable! Lets hope the next few weeks fly by quickly for you...

trinity, I do know how you feel, my exhusband was an absolute nightmare and offered no support or help when I was having DD and DS was little. I wish I could offer some sort of wisdom and say something profound that could help but all I can think of is to say that we're here for you so you can vent. You're stronger than you think you are!

kinki, my DH has suffered from severe depression since he was in his teens and I know what you mean about having almost pms type mood swings. He has been on and off ad's and hasn't worked for the last 6 years however, he started work in April just gone and seems to be lifting a bit. It never goes away though and the only downer about him working is that he was meant to be getting CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) but he can't really get the time off now. When I had the m/c's, he got so low I thought it would never end. Then, when I got pg this time, he had a complete breakdown. He also packed his bags and one night I wouldn't let him leave out the lounge door and he climbed out the window!! He came back later that night but it wasn't a pleasant experience. I do know from talking with him that he wanted to go because he hated putting us through his bad mood swings and wanted to make it better. It was all self pity. I know it's easier said than done but I keep telling myself that it really is a chemical imbalance in the brain that he can't do anything about. Do you mind if I ask what ad's he is on and how long he has been on them? We found that certain ones made DH worse but it wasn't picked up on as easily as it should, because of the 6 weeks of getting used to them etc. My heart goes out to you and I'm here if you need to compare stories and have a rant xx

I have now officially finished work and it was very strange - thank you all for thinking of me! I cried as I left but I truly think that was because I'm soooo tired and sooo relieved to be getting out of there! I've got about an hours worth of e-mails to do this evening and I just need to clear out my e-mails in general and that's it!! They've asked me to go in next Thursday morning for the company meeting so they can do a little presentation for me (I'm one of the longest serving members of staff so it better be good LOL! - only joking!).

My heartburn has been unbearable today!! I find that eating refreshers sometimes helps but only for a short amount of time and it comes back again . (Glugging on the Gaviscon/Peptac as we speak).

I can't bear the thought of going to bed so I might just stay up late!

Take care all
((hugs))

i'm still here too plp. i ate at six and still it feels like i swallowed a brick. oh well, maybe i'll try sitting up and gaviscon.
hope all the other heartburn-ers and indigestion-ers get some sleep!

RemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRemegelRe megel, honestly, I rarely need to eat more than two to get rid of my heartburn and I get it badly

Kinki and Trinity I am so sorry that you are both having a rough time of it. I wish I could offer more constructive advice but because this is my first I can only empathise with what you must be going through.

I do however think that you must both be very strong and wise women with a hell of a lot to give your dp's and your kids so hang on in there.

I'd like to send you both MASSIVE hugs and lots of good vibes for a happier weekend xxxxxx

Hi everyone

I haven't posted on here for ages and have been trying to catch up on the news. I really feel for you Kinki and Trinity. I have been wishing my DH would be a bit more supportive - but will now pull my head in after reading your stories.

I'm now going to scan the thread for double buggy recommendations. I'm looking at the Phil and Teds - not sure if it's too expensive?? My DS is 17 months.

By the way - is anyone's baby breech?? I'm really hoping for a VBAC this time. I'm 28 weeks and bub is still breech - which I know is ok, but it's starting to bother me.

BTW..what happened to summer??

Hi Kinki and Trinity, I am so with you at the moment. Had a really crappy week as ds has croup (he will be 18 months when lo arrives too) and dp works away all week so had to cope completely on my own. to be honest he really doesn't help much anyway and it's probably been less stressful not having him here for me to have to run around after too iyswim. he's really upset me as we spoke on the phone earlier and he knows I've had a total of about 10 hours sleep in the last 5 nights and he just said 'well don't expect me to do anything when I get home'. I know he's been at work all week but at least he's had 8+ hours uninterrupted sleep per night and I know there's gonna be a showdown when he comes home to see that the house is a tip. can't wait....

WTF....what is wrong with these guys??? LLL - my DS has just been quite sick for a week as well. It's so stressful to see them sick, not to mention tiring. I think I would have killed my husband if he had said that to me.

I'm getting myself all worked up just reading your post!!

Kinki - so sorry to hear about your tough time, i'm afraid i can't offer advice about depression but i sympathise with the hurtful remarks and generally finding it all a bit too much when you're pregnant. Like the others have said it's good to talk about it hear and i hope things settle down soon. xx

Trinity1 - oh it sounds so familiar!!!! I know exactly what you mean. My DP does nothing and throws the 'but i work' line at me all the time. I'm really struggling with DS (2.5) and day to day routine i'm just so exhausted and this week i've seen DP for an average of 15 mins a day and then he actually manages to make more work for me rather than help! DS is driving me up the wall and i really need a break but DP just doesn't help even if i sit him down and say i need help from you. The best he can come up with is i'm a bit busy for the next 2 weeks but then i'll try and calm things down!!!!!! What a selfish man. Please continue to vent if you need too i'm quite happy to listen.

Buddhamummy - hello, i'm really intrigued by what you said about expecting an early apperance? I had DS on edd and labour was 3 1/2 hrs does this mean i should too??????

Love and hugs to everyone xx

i haven't posted for a while as have been fed up with being pregnant - i'm so pregnant that it impacts on everything i do but not pregnant enough that the end is in sight. Have just been really moany and depressed this week, but know that it is just self-pity whereas some of you out there have real concerns.
To whoever recommended chewing-gum for indigestion - wow - thank you. It really helps. I've not got it as bad as some of you but it can leave me feeling really sick and bleurghy if i don't munch my gaviscon.
Hugs and support to all those having a tough time and here's to a flood free weekend.
S
xxxx

Hi sophus - you are not alone - I hate being pregnant, I know I should be grateful that I can and I am, I just hate the process. I've got a headache and am knackered but ds doesn't seem to want a nap today, so I have been naughtily dozing on the sofa while he entertains himself.

i hate being pregnant too - the bump makes me feel unattractive, tired and i can't find the energy to do simple things! There is so much on my list of things to do and i'm lucky if i accomplish one thing a day and i have to take breaks!!!! I'm angry with my lack of patience and feel i'm constantly shouting at DS when he's only bored because i'm not doing anything with him. I can't believe i've got 11 weeks left and it's only going to get worse. Sophus/mrs fish i'm sure there are many more of us

Trinity and Kinki - really sorry to hear about the men in your lives. I'm afraid I don't have words of wisdom to impart but please do feel free to rant here, it's not depressing to hear and if it helps at all then that's great!
Trinity - as others have said, what would happen if you are ill? Is there any way of getting him to realise the hard work you do? I'm not sure how (without pretending to be sick which unless you're a fab actress might be tricky). It's awful to feel unappreciated. I'm expecting my first, and still work at the mo, so DH and I are currently on pretty equal footing. Although, I have a stepdaughter so DH is often busy with her, and I probably do more around the house to compensate. Not sure how time will be distributed once our new LO arrives but hopefully we'll juggle it. Can't say I'm not nervous though.