The March-ers 2019 - #7

[Angelmiracle]

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Thread 6

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3379197-The-March-ers-2019-6

@cardboard33 Thank you so much for your advice. I'm not really talking to anyone about it - sounds ridiculous, but I just haven't had time. I spoke to my husband about it properly for the first time yesterday. I haven't got a Macmillan nurse, but I have been assigned a genetic counsellor on the NHS, who has said I can contact her whenever. I don't really know what I would talk about though - it's all just theoretical at the moment and I am torn between wanting to think/talk it through, and not wanting to waste time worrying about something that may not even come to pass!

I had quite bad post-natal anxiety after my son was born and I am a little bit worried that if I have an unwelcome result with this genetic test, I will go into a black hole of worrying once all the post-birth hormones are swishing around. On the other hand, I think I might end up in that hole anyway if I don't find out one way or the other, and at least if I find out then I am on the way to doing something. If it is bad news, I need to be strong in the way that I deal with it. I think probably I need to spend the next few weeks preparing myself for bad news and getting myself into a positive mindset to receive that news. I don't think that would be a waste of time.

Regarding the bump size, I've had a couple of people ask if I'm due soon! I'm like... no... in three months' time!!!!! I think because I'm short and small (and I've popped out quickly as it's my second) the bump just looks ridiculously big. I'd say the little football was definitely a compliment. Beach ball over here

@Angelmiracle sounds like a great appointment. Well done on the weight, too - that must be a relief!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever ooo it would be a shame if you can't get away with the extra pay - that sounds ideal. Although if you find you can't take the work, at least you can just enjoy being with your little one, guilt-free!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever DH and I are bickering with lack of money at the minute. And that's me still with full pay! I actually am worried about mat leave. I could be back to work by 5 months and that's something I'm not prepared to do. But I'll have to if needs must. We built our house and used a 0% credit card to help and the zero interest ended. I applied for a 0% balance transfer card but the credit limit is nowhere close to what we need. We have quite a lump sum of vat to reclaim but as usual nothing is straightforward with HMRC. But I may push on and try my best to get that reclaimed.

This is all bringing on anxiety for me this week. Christmas shopping and Santa buying has made things worse I really should have been more cautious

Similar to you @Badbadbeans I had a lot of anxiety postnatally after I stopped BF DS and I am worried same will happen if we don't make a financial plan! The joys.

Hi all, been trying to catch up here for ages! I'm jumping on the "more pregnant" group - the bump bands in my maternity jeans needed to be folded over to fit me literally last week then suddenly they fit me just right now.
Saw my midwife today (actually my midwife is now on mat leave so I saw another but she was nice so thats a relief), measuring a bit bigger but she wasn't concerned and heartbeat was all good so thats me happy for a while.
Dreamt that I could see the baby's foot as he kicked the other night then suddenly his whole face appeared! Had a head of very dark hair and I said in my dream "I don't remember that happening in the last pregnancy". To be honest it was a bit creepy haha.
DS has also pitched a name today - Batman Robin. Unfortunately I'm not sure if we have anything better 🙈

@BadBadBeans sorry to hear you are feeling anxious about waiting for your results. I really do hope they can get you an earlier appointment. I think the waiting to find out can be awful as your mind runs away with itself through all the options but I'm glad you are thinking positively about it. I hope you can find out either way soon.

I need to catch up properly as the thread has moved so fast and will try to catch up tomorrow at lunch but just wondering if anyone knows about the following

Can we have cooked meats from the supermarket? Like ham or cooked chicken for sandwiches? I haven't had any so far and I'm sick of cheese sandwiches and cottage cheese pittas. I know it's better to cook the chicken myself but our oven has conked out and we're waiting for the landlord to replace it.

The other thing that has worried me is my lack of omega 3 or 6 (can't remember which one is for brain development). Honestly I don't think I've had hardly any of it. I never had the Pregnacare that included it and I hate fish so I've not had it from there either. I'm really worried now that baby's brain isn't going to develop properly

Any pre-cooked meats are fine. It is American deli meats that aren't the issue (in the US not here).

I never went back to work after DS as childcare was so expensive. It's been a lot tighter, especially when we moved and DH had to get a new job with an £11k pay cut, but we cope. Christmas is small this year, but that's fine by us. We have homemade stuff for most people to top up the bits we could justify paying for.
You do learn to adjust; I don't think I could have gone back even if it had been financially viable, so very lucky we coped.

American deli meats that ARE the issue, sorry typo!

@melissa112 Cooked meats are ok to eat and honestly as long as your diet is not horrendous baby will be getting all the nutrients it needs.

Baby has been really active tonight and dd was having a cuddle earlier and kept telling it off for kicking her DD also thinks I am having baby Jesus ha ha

Thanks both, I'll pick up some cooked chicken just to give myself a change. What do you mean by horrendous? I do think I eat a little too much sugar but I do try and have healthy dinners, but I've gone really paranoid about salad veg and not being able to get all the dirt off them and them and potatoes so been avoiding them. Breakfast is usually jsut cheerios and milk with an activia yogurt as a snack when I get into work at half 7.

Try to eat a healthy ish tea so chicken stir fry with peppers and onions and wholewheat noodles, whole wheat pasta etc but eat chocolate every day. Trying to drink one small glass of fruit juice a day for some more vitamins. Ah maybe I'm just over thinking it. It was the omega stuff or lack of that's worrying me.

@Wineandchoccy haha bless your DD, that's so funny!!

@melissa112 sounds like a healthy diet to me! Don't let worries about listeria put you off salad and potatoes. We had an allotment when I was pregnant with DS and that was a little difficult as things came into the kitchen absolutely caked in soil, but the stuff you get from the supermarket is pretty darn clean already! I just give everything a swill in the colander. The only thing I am extra careful with is lettuce as sometimes bits of soil get trapped in the leaves, but I just rinse each leaf separately so I know it's clear. I don't know about the omega stuff - I'm pescetarian so do get mine from fish - but I believe hemp oil has really good omega content? I used to use it as salad dressing and it is delicious. Or you could have a little with balsamic vinegar and dip bread in it x

@melissa112 your diet sounds ok to me Baby will be getting everything it needs
Babies survive odd cravings of coal so I’m sure chocolate every day is better than that - I now want chocolate at 7.30am!

@ballanj you'd think someone could come up with a Gaviacon cocktail we can put a little umbrella in wouldn't you 😂

@melissa112 I've felt less for a few days but then when I did feel something I realised that she was kicking right down into my back / side / hip so figured she'd turned around. Yesterday back to normal, thank God! And I also feel like I'm squashing her when on my side sometimes. It's so weird isn't it? Hope you're getting more regular movements again today. Try not to worry about Omega 3. I'm allergic to fish and was told supplements in other forms aren't recommended so haven't taken anything either! You'd be surprised what you get it from in other foods though. Your diet sounds a lot better than mine!

@Angelmiracle I'm another with concerns about money. Sitting down after Christmas to go through everything in depth and keep outgoings down as much as possible. If you can't get a balance transfer it might be worth checking the interest rate out on a loan as it may be cheaper than the interest on the card.

Currently sat waiting for my GTT at the hospital. Found it bizarrely exciting to walk into the hospital "actually pregnant" considering when I've been here for scans (and the appendicitis disaster) I didn't have a bump and couldn't feel anything. Made it feel more real!

Thanks for the encouraging words on diet. I'll try to relax a bit more. @BadBadBeans I've had to throw out a whole lettuce before as didn't realise how much dirt gets trapped and knew I wasn't 100%convinced I could get it all off! I'll have a look for hemp oil as I do like bread and dips, thanks!

@WhatALearningCurve how was the GTT?

@HidCat the squishing baby while on side feeling is odd for sure! He kicks more into the side I'm lying on and start thinking he's telling me to get off him glad your movements are back to normal now!

@melissa112 the actual process of it was fine, the drink wasn't the most pleasant but I think that's more to do with the fact I don't have much of a sweet tooth. I've felt really nauseous since I was finally able to eat though which isn't fun. Think I may have just eaten too quickly after fasting for so long but it definitely feels like I've just developed morning sickness!

Thanks @HidCat that might be a good option right now!!

Oh that's not nice @WhataLearningCurve I can imagine I'll feel the same on Friday! Midwife said they take blood at 1 and 2 hours after the drink. Did they do that with you?

@Angelmiracle with me they took my bloods initially and then the drink, then two hours later took bloods again. I'm not usually affected by blood tests but for convenience they did my 28week bloods as well instead of doing them next week and I think they just took too much haha

Lots of your comments are ringing true with me this week, particularly the laying on my side and having baby kick as if to say 'oi, shift!' I find I'm having a couple of days a week where Hulk's movements are a little less but then reading this thread I think he must turn around as I feel some kicks which I know are kicks but they're not outward if that makes sense? So I'm assuming that's where he's turned. But I'm feeling him every day which is the main thing for me. Does anyone still feel taken by surprise when there's a particularly big kick?! My colleagues must think I'm crazy when I give these gasps sporadically 😂

Yes @ballanj I was in a meeting yesterday and it kept jabbing me really hard I couldn’t concentrate on what I was saying

I had cramp in my leg in the night so I’m sooo tired with that and needing to wee lots

@Wineandchoccy I got my first leg cramp last night which woke me up at 4am. Not fun!

I've got my 25 week midwife appointment today so I'm looking forward to that. Hoping she measures me as I'm still quite small. I also haven't felt baby move since yesterday afternoon so going to ask her to check everything's okay. I know they can turn away from you so reduced movement at this stage isn't something to be massively concerned about but just want her to check anyway.

A school friend recently posted on Facebook that she is pregnant but unfortunately the baby has an extremely rare condition so will have to have major operations in order to survive. Made me realise how lucky we are and how precious the pregnancy and the tiny baby I'm carrying is!

The jabs seem much more violent this time! Genuinely hurting at points, I don't remember that with DS!

I definitely get days where my back is aching and I am getting more pushing rather than kicking/thumping going on. I think that is baby facing my back, but still doesn't help with the reassurance!

@WhatALearningCurve oh no, sorry about the nausea! Hope you're feeling more yourself today?

@ballanj definitely still get surprised with the strength of the jabs. I keep randomly gasping 'Arghhh' throughout the evening as that when he seems to jab the hardest. OH and the dog keep jumping in shock

@SquirtlesMumAgain this is my first but I didn't realise how violent the movements could be. I'm also getting a lot of pushing movements where I can see my stomach push out and the area feels rock hard. Thinking it's his head but I'm getting more of this than kicks and punches at the mo. Weird seeing my belly contort like that and it's starting to become quite painful at times.

@Wineandchoccy Haven't had any leg cramps yet but sometimes in the night feel like I'm on the verge of cramp coming on. And definitely feel the pain of still needing to wee in the night.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever how was your appointment today? That's very sad about your friends baby, hope that they manage to come through it ok. I agree, seeing things like that does bring home just how precious and fragile these little babies are.

I've had to work from home today. The past couple of weeks I've felt quite bad pain in my pelvis at times and after sitting down a while I can barely walk. This seems to have got worse over the past few days and even though I made it into work, I had to leave after a few hours as i just felt so uncomfortable. They are really good with letting me log on from home but I do feel guilty. Coupled with the baby becoming stronger, every time he moves I'm getting a sharp pain from my pelvis up into my back which feels awful. Have my 28 wk appointment on Tuesday at 27+5 but will mention it to the midwife. Hope it's something that will ease off..

@melissa112 I hope your pelvis pain eases off. I have my 28 week check the same day as you when I'll also be 27+5. Let's check in on Tuesday! I'm hoping to be measured this time as I expected them to do it at my 25 week check but they didn't.

@ballanj yes Tuesday check in sounds good. I did ask my midwife whether she would measure me at this one and she said they would from 28 weeks so hopefully the same for you

@badbadbeans Sorry for the delayed reply, I wrote a lengthy post on my phone on yesterday morning's commute but it apparently didn't send... I definitely would consider speaking to the counsellor even if it is "just" theoretical as regardless of whether it is theoretical or actually happening it is still a lot to process, particularly when/if you're already feeling vulnerable. In many ways the "theoretical" part is the hardest bit as you've got to consider all eventualities rather than just the card you ultimately get dealt which can be very difficult. You may find that speaking to someone who doesn't know you and is paid to sit and listen to you is helpful as a sounding board and then you can go on your way for a few more weeks until you have more clarity..... or you may find that you want to continue speaking to them after the initial chat, and both of those are fine. You might also find that making a time when you're "forced" to talk or think about these things is useful because then the thoughts won't take over the rest of your life so much. How are you feeling since speaking to your husband? Have you shared much about this area of your life previously, or was it all new to him?

@ballanj YES! I've been gasping sometimes in shock at the movement as they're normally just background "noise" and then occasionally it will really shock me with what it does. I assume it will just continue like this until the end, as it's kind of unnatural to have something poking you so I can't imagine you get that used to it.

@assumeitwassomethingclever I had a midwife appointment today and she said that it can take up to 28-29 weeks for it to get into a routine where you're feeling it regularly. She listened to the heartbeat and was like "oooh it's rolling around all over the place in there" but I literally couldn't feel anything at all, despite her claiming it was being really wriggly. I'm 25.5 weeks at the moment.

Have you got something called a Symphysis Fundal Height chart as part of your notes? Or you could google it? Mine has percentiles on it from week 23 so I can draw a nice graph plotting the growth of baby, so if you measure your bump yourself (she just used a tape measure from my belly button area to where my bikini line/bump starts to go outwards) you could check where you are on the graph? The 3rd percentile is 22cm for week 25 and the 97th percentile is 28cm so there does seem to be quite a variation. 50th percentile is just under 25cm.