The March-ers 2019 - #7

[Angelmiracle]

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Thread 6

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3379197-The-March-ers-2019-6

@babycatcher411 sounds good, things can all change can’t they!

@whatalearningcurve do your trust scan for large babies?
Here and in Surrey they did if you were out of the average range (10-90th centile) so if you are still measuring big they may scan you anyway

Thanks everyone for your concern regarding the lack of movement I had yesterday. Baby is definitely making up for it today. It's been wiggling all day which is very reassuring! It must have just been having a lazy/ sleepy day.

Also, we got our Purflo Bassinet delivered today. It's not as big as I'd hoped and the sides aren't as see through. It also smells really odd! It's currently sitting in my office and all I can smell is like a chemical dusty smell. Might return it and just stick with a bog standard Moses basket. What has everyone else gone for for baby's first bed?

Another one here who finds the movements very uncomfortable! And don’t get me started on trying to sleep at night. My back feels broken!! I am going to book in with an Osteopath soon.

Assume - So glad you’re little one is wriggling away today! Mine is having a lazier day today.

Saw my Consultant today, blue bump will be making his grand entrance on Thurs 21st March! Booked in for a section at 7.15am. Wow. Seems so real now! My lovely Consultant was so reassuring. My anxiety has been at a high since my friend’s terminal diagnosis, and i’ve been so worried about a section and the chance of placenta accreta/previa etc... Anyway, my placenta is nice and high and all looks perfect. She pulled my notes up from my hysteroscopy/laparoscopy and talked me throygh the findings. She said I have very minimal scar tissue from my first section, so this one should be very straightforward. She said it’s almost like i’ve never had a C section as my uterus looks very normal and my scar will be incredibly well healed by now (Section was 9 years ago) She seems to think that if I want a 3rd baby (I do) and therefore a 3rd C section that there should be no problem at all. She just said give yourself 9 months to recover before you go for your IVF (I have one fully blocked tube, one partially blocked tube and PCOS, so how I conceived this baby is a mystery Although it did take 4 years)

It’s a weight off my mind. I was so worried i’d be full of scar tissue and my uterus would be a mess.

Consultant said the Surgeon will have a good look at my ovaries, tubes and uterus and have a chat with me to reassure me after the section. So pleased with the level of care so far. They are really looking after me, as they know how anxious I am.

@babycatcher411 @SquirtlesMumAgain had a mental morning and now in work and had chance to look back at the growth chart - i'm actually only measuring 2 weeks ahead of where i was last time, and 2 and a half weeks ahead to be at the "average" line of the curve (was slightly over last time). I'm less stressed about having MegaBaby now, i'm going to assume he's having a growth spurt and the rate will hopefully slow a bit now

I'm another finding the movements very uncomfortable. I've had dreadful abdominal pain yesterday and today, to the point where I can barely breathe when I go for a wee. I've been to the DAU and they couldn't find anything obvious so just taking painkillers and seeing how I go at the moment. When the baby kicks and catches the sore bit though, bloody hell that hurts!

We've gone for a Moses basket for the baby's first bed. I wanted a next2me type crib, but none of them will fit next to the bed, so that's out! I'm wondering whether to carry the Moses basket between upstairs and downstairs or whether to buy a nest or another Moses basket to have downstairs for the baby. I think I'll probably thank myself in the long - term if I don't have to lug the basket around all the time.

I've gone for a Snuzpod for the moses basket/bedside crib. Have wanted one since we first found out we were expecting and it's the one thing we've allowed ourselves to spend a bit more money on. All of our nursery furniture otherwise is second hand/eBay/FB marketplace or gifted from friends.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I'm glad you're feeling more reassured by baby's movements. Although like @babycatcher411 and @VillageFete totally understand the uncomfortable movement side of things aswell. Obviously I'd rather know Hulk is moving around but seems to be the case lately he wants to stay up and party when I'm trying to shift myself into a comfortable position to go to sleep. Which is hard enough these days! Sometimes the movements really do take me by surprise and will jolt me awake just as I'm drifting off to sleep.

I also discovered a really fun website for baby/kid's clothes called My Rocking Kids. Lots of things on there would make great gifts. We managed to order a baby grow which actually says 'Baby Hulk'. He'll grow out of it so fast I'm sure but I couldn't resist!

Also wanted to ask, are there any runners on this thread? Asking because I've been finding it a whole new experience having to taper my running down so much. Not because of my breathing or leg muscles but because of the pressure on my bladder! I'm finding I can only run when he's in a certain position, otherwise feel the uncomfortable urge to pee like you experience when you have a severe bladder infection. Not fun! Have said to myself the whole way through that I would stop running when it stopped being so fun. In any case, I went to the gym at lunch and managed a 2.5 run/walk on the treadmill and felt really good for it. I guess I just have to listen to my body and walk when I need to walk now. I obviously don't expect to be as quick as I once was but still find it hard to get my head around at times! I guess it's just a runner's mentality.

We’ve gone for the Tutti Bambini alongside crib, it seemed the biggest so would last the longest, I liked that it folded up, so can be taken with us if we go away at all, and it was my favourite in terms of luck. It has however unfortunately meant that I’ve had to give up my side of the bed and swap with my other half to fit it in the room. Much to his glee, and my distaste as the toilet is now further away!!

Whilst obviously I’m not glad you guys are also uncomfortable, it is a relief to talk to people who understand how I feel. I think my other half thinks I’m a bit of a wet weekend at the moment.

We’ve been given a next to me, just need to buy a new mattress. We’ll have to move some furniture to accommodate it.

@toastfiend also what if you have to have a c section or anything. I don’t think you’d want to be lugging it in any case. Just my two penneth.

We’ve just had a wedding invite for the 5th May. I’m due on the 13th so if bump arrives on time she will be 6/7 weeks old. It’s no kids unless immediate family. I’ve always thought that people made allowance for new babies anyway and obvs will get OH to ask the bride but what are your thoughts? Breastfeeding aside is that two little to leave with my Mum etc? I’m new to this. Also if I have a c section etc or even if I don’t I/we might not be feeling too clever. Anyone else been to weddings when babies were still new?

@Gronk27 yeah, that's what I've been thinking. Although I hadn't thought about it but the bassinet that came with the pram has a mattress that's suitable for overnight sleeping so I'll probably put the baby in that for naps downstairs initially. Don't know why I didn't consider it before!

We have a crib like this for in our room. DD fit in it until she was 9 months. It’s about the size of a Moses basket in width but longer.

www.mothercare.com/cribs/mothercare-hyde-crib/914204.html?cgid=nursery_cribs#cm_mmc=Google--Nursery--MC-UK-G-Exa-Nursery-Cribs%2F%2FNursery-Baby+Cribs-_-baby+cribs+-+e&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=CPC&utm_category=Google+-+Nursery&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgP7NuNfe3wIVArTtCh2zZQiqEAAYASAAEgIwUPD_BwE&utm_content=Text+Ad&start=8

We've got a next to me dream crib. We'd originally planned to get it 2nd hand and just buy a new mattress as there's no way I'm paying £240+ but then it came up in the sales for less than half price so we paid £110 which we figured was the same price as getting it second hand (the going rate is £90-100 around here) when factoring in a new mattress. We've put it up but seems way bigger than I was expecting... Good job we have a big bedroom although it's going to have to be on my side of the bed as that has the most space because husband sleeps on the en suite door side. Then we will use the carry cot thing for sleep time downstairs. Or at least that's the plan!

@gronk27 one my my colleagues got married and invited another colleague who had recently had a baby & was breastfeeding. As the invite said no kids my colleague with the baby had her husband (who wasn't invited) wait in the car with it and she came out of the reception to feed. It sounded like a big big hassle as the baby was then sick all over her dress so they ended up leaving. I don't know if they asked and the colleague who was getting married said no, but I didn't think it was overly fair to just invite the one person given she knew their situation. But then I guess my mum colleague didn't have to go! We've had a wedding invite for when the baby will be 4 months. It's in the Highlands and we live in London so don't know whether to take the baby as it'll be the first time a lot of my uni friends will meet it and also we can test the "travelling with baby" thing (I'm planning lots of holidays...) or whether to leave it with our parents. The invite is for all of us, already clarified with the bride who is one of my best friends. I'm still planning things for later in the year and then thinking "Oh we can't both go as otherwise we will need to get childcare..." .. it's such a life style change!

@villagefete understandable that the dad is finding it a struggle. I hope that when I die there's someone in our lives like you to help my husband, but then also hope that being a dad will force him to carry on in society (and seek help) as opposed to being completely isolated, which is his default position. Maybe you could begin to phase out your support so that he sees that he can do everything as well as the mum could?

@badbadbeans yes, I remember them throwing up everywhere. We've recently started playing it again (downloaded it from Origin) and it's so funny looking back... And so sexist!! The ladies were all receptionists or nurses (who only gave out medication) and then the doctors and cleaners were all men. Wow 7 weeks is fast... Did you intend that? Or did it just happen? We got married within 4 months of getting engaged which I thought was fast! The engagement was prompted by my diagnosis and we wanted to be married before I had major surgery so that my husband would have more rights than he would as my boyfriend, and also if something happened to me it also meant that our house etc would pass to him rather than being subjected to inheritance tax etc. Tbh it was what we needed to kick us into action so we have no regrets!!

Pleased that GD results came back and I don’t have it. Was measured and my measurement is off the scale (31cm at 28 weeks). Not worried though and found it hilarious as I had the comments about being small. Have a consultants appt in Feb apparently, wasn’t told I’d be referred to them but assumed I would as I have a high BMI. Midwife said I may have to have baby in the high risk labour ward due to this but I don’t want to tbh and as long as everything remains stable and ok I would ideally like to have my baby on the alongside ward (next door to the high risk ward!). Assuming that I won’t be able to have a water birth now though 😞

@Sictransitgloria you never know they might let you labour in the pool but get out to have baby! Birthing pool was in use when I had DS but spent a few hours in the bath. I was happy enough to be out and dried to have him.

Having a lot of crotch pain now especially going from sitting to standing. Wondering if baby has turned out of breech can feel feet up high instead of at bladder.

A zimmer frame would be really good atm or a rail at side of the bed!

Hoping to get snuzpod on gumtree. It's the highest one I can see for our mattress height.

@cardboard33 Oh god! How awful. I totally get it from both sides having recently got married and knowing there's often limited space, budget and I've been to weddings where children have ruined the wedding ceremony. All the children at our wedding were beautifully behaved but any of the parents we know would have whisked them out straight away I have no doubt. I just don't know if you can commit to going to something when your baby is 6 weeks, what if I've had a c section or if they say no and I'm breastfeeding, I know I could potentially express but will we want to leave the baby that soon. I'm new to all this! We also have a wedding at the end of May and one if August but they're family weddings and there are already a fair few small kids in the family, my parents will be there and we know we'll all be invited and be staying nearby, etc.

@Sictransitgloria in our trust, you have to be able to demonstrate that you can safely get in and out of the pool. Our guideline used to routinely rule out BMI for the pool, but it is much more flexible now.
I would be asking the question now, because it may be that if it is ‘outside of guidelines’ then you need to have a sit down and make a ‘formal plan’ so you can safely use the pool outside of guidelines, generally we cannot absolutely stop you using the pool because the guideline says so, but there has to be willingness on both side to produce a ‘safe plan’ (ie a middle ground. This may, as @Angelmiracle has said, be that you can be in for the labour, but not the birth

Thanks ladies.

@babycatcher411 - haven’t seen my midwife since 16 weeks to discuss the birth but she did tell me to do my research in order to contribute to a plan. She kinda insinuated that I would need to present an argument that, like you say, is the middle ground. I just don’t want to be medicalised on the basis that I’m fat 😂 will ask for local trust guidelines and policies to see what they actually are. I see my midwife again at 31 weeks so will revisit with her.

One thing some trusts do is want to do continuous monitoring in labour (which can be restrictive, and make it feel medicalised) purely based on BMI, if your trust do this, then ask for the research to support this, because I don’t believe it’s strongly evidence based and is often done just ‘because’ that’s what they do

@babycatcher411 - my midwife did mention this although there has never been a problem finding babys heartbeat as of yet (a 1st year student did it today and got it straightaway) although I’m well aware that in active labour that may change. I think I just need to arm myself with as much info as poss and see what is recommended and where I go from that.

@sictransitgloria sorry it wasn't what you'd hoped about your potential birth plan, although I don't think a high risk unit will necessarily mean there's no option for a water birth. I've been consultant led all of the way through (the whole midwife thing is a mystery to me, I'm meeting them for the first time at 34 weeks to discuss a plan) and have no choice but to deliver in a high risk unit due to epilepsy and a water birth is still potentially on the cards, although I don't have a high BMI or anything so maybe that's why. Our unit set up is like yours where the midwife unit is in the same building as the high risk unit.

@gronk27 presumably they know you're pregnant? I'd discuss you're worries/thoughts with the couple and ask them for their thoughts back so then you know where you both stand. If they're adamant it's no kids, you need to let them know now due to costs/numbers then it's like you'll have to decline as I've heard if you have a C section you can't do much in the first 6-8 weeks and even if you don't a lot of people I know said it took about that long for them to feel themselves again. If they're more flexible then maybe you could play it by ear and let them know a couple of weeks after the baby is born, so they'd still have a months notice?

@Gronk27 before DS was born I accepted an invite to a wedding of an old friend a few hours away that was six weeks after my due date. He was born two weeks late so was only four weeks old by the wedding. I had had an emergency C-section, breastfeeding wasn't going well and I was knackered. Baby amd DH invited to the wedding but the week before I realised there was absolutely no way we were going to be able to go. My friend was v understanding, bless him. If a similar situation had occurred this time though I think I would just say no in the first place. On the other hand, I went to a wedding a while back where the couple had a three week old and were also about to move house. They looked totally chilled!

On the constant monitoring, I had to be monitored with DS as they broke my waters (well I don't think they did but they finished them properly rather than the trickle of before!) after a few hours and things weren't progressing. I was still able to move about and sit on the gym ball, I wasn't tied to the bed I just couldn't stray too far around the room.
Was absolutely fine... Until they had to put a head probe on him as they kept losing his heart rate on the external monitor and then I was stuck (but to be fair I was shattered by that point anyway so the bed wasn't exactly unpopular!)

First timers do have a look into birthing positions as we are so used to seeing ladies stuck on their back on a bed giving birth, it is worth being aware there are other ways (not just water) and unless there is a medical need they can't insist you birth on your back on a bed