November 2018 #3

[olderthanyouthink]

Ante-natal thread for babies due this November, continued...

Stats spreadsheet is here - add and update yourself as needed!

SAHM here. It works for us and I intend on doing some consultancy when I can as I've done the odd bit here and there. Re when to go on mat leave its again a very personal decision imo. I left two months early as I was exhausted and sickly so I used my holiday entitlement for the year I was on mat leave as my company allowed me to take it before it had been officially accrued and any remaining for the holiday year I was in, but you might prefer to save that for the other side if you're going back and enable you to ease yourself back in. It's all very individual. If you're not sure what you want to do yet then you've got plenty of time to decide.

Thanks for the tips on the jeans!! Going to do an online shopping splurge tonight I think!

@Aussi It's about exposure to the chemicals in cleaning products. There's a page on the NHS website here from 2013, reacting to a press release from the Royal College of Obstetricans and Gynaecologists that basically says that it's not known what the effects of such chemicals are, therefore 'nervous mothers-to-be' (a term I find somewhat offensive!) may wish to minimise their exposure to them. There were also a lot of news articles a couple of months ago talking more generally about everyone's over-exposure to such chemicals (not just pregnant women) - even in things like shampoo - and how bad they are for lung function: see here.

It's a tough one. I've always been extra-cautious about such things anyway (my mum died of cancer in her forties) so try to use paraben-free, SLS-free, pthalate-free products as much as possible. When cleaning the bathroom, I tend to use white vinegar. I appreciate that using vinegar might not be that easy for those who are smell sensitive in the first trimester, but personally I find the smell of it a lot easier to stomach than the smell of more chemical-y cleaning products! I would guess the key thing is that if you do decide to use standard products anyway, to have lots of ventilation in the room, don't spend very long doing it at one time, and wear rubber gloves. (I sprayed anti-bac on a kitchen worksurface the other day and wiped it off with a paper towel, then panicked for ages that it might have got on my skin - should have worn gloves! Or used vinegar instead of anti-bac...) Or get your DP to do it!

I guess it also comes down to what you are comfortable with. I haven't worn nail varnish since getting pregnant with DS as I personally wasn't comfortable with the chemicals in it, and I've never gone back to wearing it because now I've looked into it, I don't really want to wear it at all! But I know loads of people who have been totally happy to wear nail varnish while pregnant. Ditto painting the walls - I personally wouldn't do it, but my SIL was painting her new bathroom at 7 months pregnant and was totally happy with that choice. For me as an anxious person, I find it easier to just cut out things that might make me worry!

@Amarettoplease not really what you are describing, but I had a few days where my background mouth taste actually WAS orange juice - and I hadn't drunk any! Odd.

@dontquit I feel the same 'surely my luck can't hold out?' sort of thing. I have to tell myself that life doesn't work like that though, does it?! We don't have a luck quota! (Right?!)

@petiteange28 good luck with the scan :)

@toasterstrudle I've had a bit of a google on C-section pouches and have read lots of anecdotal evidence about people having 2 or 3 CS and no pouch, and also people only having vaginal births and getting a pouch anyway!

@TheImprobableGirl as I said in my previous post, try white vinegar! It works for most things, and then if there is something it really doesn't shift (e.g. stubborn mould) then ask your DP to do it - then you're not asking him to do everything! Regarding going back to work, I work freelance from home and have done since having DS. I love doing it and will be going back to it after this baby too. However, with DS I started taking on projects again intermittently when he was 3 months old. I will NOT be doing that this time! Think I will proably give myself at least 6 months... Or maybe wait until the maternity allowance stops!

@amarettoplease are you describing ptyalism gravidarum? Google it and it's the widely discussed. Basically excessive saliva? It's a side effect for some in pregnancy (sadly I get it). No cure as such but things that can help. Often goes hand in hand with HG or bad sickness. Perhaps it's not that but sounded similar.

... and unfortunately it exacerbates my sickness and is totally horrible. If it's that I sympathise. Not many others ive discussed it with know what I mean either but one friend who had hyperemesis got it totally. Have you been quite nauseous and sick?

Sorry ladies for the tmi but has anyone else noticed this?

The past two days about an two hours or so after I have eaten a decent meal I have then had a twisting stomach and the sudden need for the toilet....gross I know but not sure if it is normal or if I am just unlucky in this instance.

At work today after a week off and I am actually much better than when I am at home, which is also making me worried as I haven't had any nausea today, but hoping it is because I have been busy.

Early pregnancy is such a worrying time, but I think after having two previous losses it is just so much more worrying than I could have imagined :(

Hey guys - I have my booking appt on Wednesday (eeek) and other than filling out the medical history and screening choices forms - is there anything else I need to do/take/have with me? Should I be taking any urine samples or anything or do they do all that sort of stuff there?

👆🏻 first pregnancy - can you tell? 🙈

@Windy1234 i know the feeling!!! Ive had previous losses also so analysing everything. Im back to work today as well & i havent been as nauseous either for past couple of days (or im learning to keep eating to control it) & just wishing it would kick in to keep me sane!! Terrified of mmc again!!

To those saying about mat leave, I aim to work to as close to my due date as possible. Since I hope to have an elcs, all being well I'll know exactly when that will be and will probably aim to work until 1-2 weeks before. As I'm self-employed I don't have annual leave I can take so I want to maximise my maternity allowance as much as possible.

It's hard to know though. With DD I worked until the Thursday before Easter as she was due the weekend after Easter Sunday. As it happened, my waters broke Easter Saturday and she arrived a week early on Easter Sunday itself so I ended up with exactly one day of relaxation before labour started. If I get an elcs though I'll be able to plan a bit better.

@HanahMarie It can vary depending on where in the country you are. I was asked to bring a urine sample with me but then they got me to do a "fresh" one there. 😂 It can't hurt to take one with you just in case.

Otherwise I don't think you need anything as they sort everything there. They will ask you about your medical history and your partner's history as well as that of your immediate family so if there's anything you're unsure of it could be worth asking relatives beforehand.

Thanks @sarahhh1984 👍🏻

For mat leave I worked to 38+2 with DS RD and 38+5 with DD. I had 5 days until DS arrived and 4 days before DD. I was still feeling good and with DD it was the end of july and my office had air con so I was glad to be in work!
With DS we did shared parental leave so I went back at 7 months and DH had 3 months off with him. Finances were different with DD and I had 9 months off plus annual leave.
This is most probably our last baby and I would love 12 months off. I don't know if we can afford it though especially as I'm not eligible for SMP, only maternity allowance.

@windy1234 Yep I get that too. I also find that I get more nausea when things are disrupted in that area too. Fun times!

I didn't need a urine sample for my booking in appointment, though she did give me a bottle which was in the pack and told me to bring one for every appointment going forward. I already gave one at the doctor's surgery, so maybe it's dependant on that?

Midwife called this morning and wanted to come to the house to do the booking appointment! One look around 2 kid chaos and I decided tomorrow will be more suitable

I just called and checked re my booking appt tomorrow and apparently I just need to turn up... guess I’ll have to fill in any forms etc there.

@badbadbeans ah thanks - good to know. Maybe I’ll get DH to do all the cleaning!

I will definitely be going back to work, I earn more than my DP and although we probably could survive on his salary we live in central London so I think we'll be a lot more comfortable with my money as well. Will also give us more options when we look at moving house in a couple of years.

I'm thinking of taking around a year off but maybe a bit less so my DP can take some time off. I get six months' full pay which is amazing so I will definitely take at least that off. A friend of mine got a year's full pay at her company! How amazing is that.

I'm back at epu for scan tomorrow at 8.45 and officially bricking it. I really was expecting to see heartbeat last time but with this two week wait and a multitude of positive tests, of all is not well, I honestly don't know how I will cope. According to my dates I should be 8w2d, most likely that is to change. I know I shouldn't worry until there is something to worry about but easier said than done

@BadBadBeans that was excellent cleaning info! I'm appallingly bleach-happy so I really will start looking into vinegar and healthier options.

@TinyPawz totally natural you're feeling worried. Wishing you all the best, you've done so well to wait this long. Crossing everything for you but I'm sure it'll all be fine - perfectly normal to not see heartbeat at the early stage you were at before.

@theubercornmum it sounds like a mild version of that- I’ve been nauseous but not had much sickness. I’m happy to swallow saliva but I think it’s adding to my constant wind from both ends . It’s more the feeling of my saliva glands going mad that is uncomfortable/distracting.

I finished work at 34+4 last week, then DS came 5 days late. 6 weeks was loads and I remember feeling a bit lonely but my journey wasn’t great and nobody can see a baby on board badge or move to give you a seat when the tube is packed. This time I drive in and have been told (not promised and I won’t hold my breath) that I’ll be given a light teaching timetable from September until October half term when I’d like to finish. If that doesn’t happen I’ll have to rethink my end date. No way will I be stressed at work at that stage! Hoping they get mat cover to start in Sept...

Not last week, last time

Such a frustrating day, doctor called to ask why the midwife tested me for parvovirus at booking in (I occasionally work with children) then called back to say I need to call the midwife to discuss result. Have called her about 5 times and her phone is switched off so I'll be waiting until tomorrow now. Obviously I googled and there's lots of scary stuff about it, my guess is I'm not immune and so will have to be careful/monitored but the not knowing is scaring me!

Also I swear I can feel a bit of movement already?! Maybe I'm going mad. I felt dd early for a first at 15 weeks but I swear I can feel the very light turning movements now at 9 weeks. Probably wishful thinking

@magpie24 a year on full pay sounds amazing! I’d love to take a year off but that won’t be happening. Depends how long we can survive once I’m on SMP!

@tinypawz I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, definitely easier said than done to not worry. Crappy tv/food to distract you tonight?

@Amarettoplease I'm going to visit my very favourite aunt this evening (she is my & dd's godmother), so hoping a few giggling hours in her company will distract me. Debating with myself whether or not to tell her, I will let her know either way the outcome but will I be 'tempting fate' by telling her early. This is not the best tome to be going cold turkey of anti anxiety meds.

@HanahMarie re booking, when I arrived I asked if I needed to give a sample as didn't bring one as they didn't ask me too and purposefully hadn't been and was bursting! They took bloods as well, height, weight.

@Windy1234 maybe just your body adjusting I can't say I've had tummy pains/need for loo apart from one day when something hadn't agreed with me! I've felt bloated and nausea was hitting about an hour or so after eating

@TinyPawz keeping all crossed for you tomorrow x

Re Mat leave, as a teacher I tried to time it around half terms etc last time and I went on mat leave after Easter holidays and had 4 weeks off before DS arrived and went back after Christmas. This time I don't know, might have to leave before October half term as due start of November but don't know when will go back. Hadn't thought about shared leave @wejammin but that could be an option (will investigate!) as DS went into nursery at 8m and if I go back after May half term then this one will be 7m.

@TinyPawz if you think she would be supportive and make you feel better and keep a secret for a little while (I’m guessing yes as she’s your favourite) then I’d tell her. It’s not about tempting fate, it’s about having a strong support network imo. Do whatever you need to do to feel supported. It’s another person to root for you! I’m having lunch with my fave auntie on Saturday and will tell her then (hard to hide now anyway). If I wasn’t due to see her anyway I’d hold off but it seems like the right moment. I’ve told a few close friends as I’ve spoken to them and am quite relaxed about that. I won’t do a big fb announcement though, just send the scan pic to any friends I haven’t told already. I don’t post much on social media though (except here!)