I yam what i yam graduates

[Mamabooksbabynumber2]

Any ladies over here in the pregnancy boards from the ttc yammer board want to join Me?

I'm 4 weeks and just got my bfp yesterday and have my fx for a sticky bean x

I know this is supposed to be a happy thread yammers but I'm so down and depressed. Exdp is being a horrific arsehole and refusing to return DD til Sunday which is giving me major anxiety. He has literally neglected her her whole life but now wants to play dad of the year. I've just got back from the diabetic clinic and my anxiety has gone through the roof.

The prick testing is 4 times a day, and it hurts. The diet is horrible, and only 2 off readings need a call to the unit to go on meds. Meds = early induction, blah blah. If I can't diet control it's bad for baby, so more guilt and panic. This is all so far from what I wanted, and yes I know healthy baby is the goal but I feel so depressed that it's just going wrong. After the struggle we've had to get here I just can't stop weeping.

Lovely Limp, there's no need for enforced happiness. That all sounds awful and stressful. No wonder you're stressed and unhappy.

Have you got a custody agreement for DD?

The clinic sounds scary. Can you do something nice this afternoon? Maybe look at a massage or getting your nails done? Even some mindfulness might help. Download an app and try and do some controlled breathing to see if it helps.

Big hugs x

Thanks S1lver. No residence order. We've been split for over 7 years, it's always been a mission to get him to do any overnights at all. This summer he wanted to take a week while our childminder is off but has extended it to 9 nights, which is double the time we've ever been apart. He's neglectful, difficult and argumentative but won't even answer the phone, just texts to say she'll be home Sunday evening instead of Friday as agreed. Won't let me FaceTime her, refuses to allow her to call, and is basically doing it to be vicious. I haven't slept a wink and I'm so anxious it's making me feel ill. I'd just go and collect but I can't have her seeing a scene and there would be one.

I would but I'm back in my pit this afternoon, the heat in the hospital plus the panic is making my chest so tight. I'll try the mindfulness but I'm not so good at that stuff. Might just try and nap 😨

I think some deep calming breathing to a directed app would be a good idea if you struggle to do it on your own. The headspace app is meant to be good.

Your ex sounds like a twat. I think that if he's going to continue like this and if it's upsetting your daughter it might be time to formalize things. That way any breach or change can be dealt with better.

I can understand not wanting to deal with this at the moment, with everything else going on. Having a plan to deal with it later might help manage your anxiety some.

Agree there's no reason we have to be only cheerful on here; you're suffering and we are here to listen and offer support. So go ahead and be upset and stressed.

I think Si1ver is right that access needs to be formalised, something to look into when you are feeling stronger. Right now, try to remind yourself she is safe with someone she knows. You can deal with the asshole afterwards.

I understand how it can be upsetting after so long to have more complications. I have my first consultant appointment tomorrow for my indications of possible future pre-eclampsia... Not something I'm looking forward to. Sending you massive virtual hugs x

I have been baby-bombed, which I didn't think was possible when you were preggers. A good friend of my husband has just found out she's preggers. I am feeling irrationally jealous, mainly because she has two kids already and is younger than me and has only been with her husband about 6 years (took me and DH over 11 years just to get to the stage we're at). She is very nice though and also suffered a mc before her first but blimey, these hormones are making me irrationally sad that my husband is so excited. God, I can be such a twat.

Had a long nap, felt a bit better but feeling very low. I'm assuming the shit blood sugar and chest infection aren't helping. As for formalising, he'll do as he pleases no matter what and be back to benign neglect once he's made his point. His partner told me he insisted on a termination a few months ago, coz his mummy would be upset (yes that was my life too) he doesn't know I know but me being so visibly pregnant will be making him furious and vengeful. He also refused to go with her, a prince among men. She could do so much better, but she's good for DD, so I'm torn between feeling dreadful for her and praying she sticks around.

Milk there's a very helpful if twee fb group I've joined, and I know I'm being a bit irrational, I think I'm just a bit overwhelmed. Being off sick = too much time to think too.

Crikey Sooz you can't help how you feel, and I do get it. It's still an anxious time and we don't have to be rational!

Sorry I've been quiet ladies! 14 weeks today and feeling like I've been upduffed for years, my back is KILLING (scoliosis) AND...

I'm STILL trying to get rid of my fucking bladder infection! The amoxicillin did sweet FA so I phoned the GP in my polite but stern voice and said I needed new antibiotics today.

Luckily there was an understanding receptionist and I've got them. The GP has said if I don't at least start to feel better by Friday then they'll have to 're asses - i.e admit me to bloody hospital, which with my DDs at home isn't great! Luckily DH is off next week so if I need to be admitted he'll be here.

@SoozC. I get where you're coming from with the whole baby bomb thing, it's a weird thing to try and explain but I think when it takes so long to get pregnant you're still kind of feeling slightly from the whole ttc debacle!

@LimpLettice. I too have a dick head ex, my eldest DD's "father" although luckily, and I know you shouldn't say it really but luckily he pissed off to live in another country years ago and hasn't looked back. I can't imagine having him to contend with along with other things. I can understand about trouble with formalizing stuff, my ex never cared about stuff like that either, very conniving, got away with never laying a penny CSA or anything - as you said, did as he pleased! If it's a one off thing, it's probably best for now to piss him off any more as you don't need the extra stress. Some people (especially ex's!) delight in pissing people off!

Try and relax as much as possible. Don't worry too much about the GD, the doctors will know what they are doing :-) I know how shitty it is going sugar free as I had to do it to get some control over my PCOS but it won't be forever, keep telling yourself that "This food sucks but it won't be forever".

@wonky. I'm in leggings lol. I got a bit fatter before I got pregnant so bought some bigger ones but then I cut out the sugar a month or so before we got pregnant and lost a fair bit of weight so I'm still able to wear my normal stuff. My knickers and bra are starting to dig a bit so they are going to have to go soon!

Thanks Milk. Not really. Unless only crying 3 times is better?! I think I need to keep a little eye on myself - I am such bloody pollyanna usually so I think it is hormonal but I am clearly a bit batty at the moment which needs monitoring.

Looking I am sorry you still have your UTI, they are horrible, I really hope the new ABs shift it fast for you. I am v jealous of your disappearing ex, I wish mine would fall down a crack in the earth somewhere I really do. It upsets me for DD that he picks her up and puts her down like a toy, depending on his other circs and if he wants to get at me, and it worries me that she is learning to tolerate that from the first man in her life. Trouble with formal agreements is that 90% of the time it would be to force him to see her or answer her calls, which he would never do anyway. He does pay, although very very little, as his mummy fiddles it all for him, and loves to pretend he is funding our 'lavish' lifestyle, despite living in a house twice the size we do with a new car and having never paid for a pair of pants let alone a roof over her head.

@LimpLettice. I'm allergic to my new ABs! Seriously! What the fuck! God knows what I'll do now

Oh yes, I know all about Mummy's who fiddle things for their "special" little boys. My ex's family are very wealthy but somehow they wrangled it to make it look like he earned nothing!

Oh God Looking is there something else they can try?

Gah! It is so frustrating - single man on minimum wage with 2 year old car, 4 bed detached in a nice area, apparently too broke to pay more than a pittance. We are fine, we don't need it, both higher earners, but it rankles massively that every takeaway or bottle of wine gets met with a snide oh yes, mummy has had her money. As if!!!! His money is not even enough to cover school dinners! And 'Mummy' can cock off, she actively enjoys preventing money going to her own grandchild, vicious old bitch. Ooops, off thread again.

I have been in mat clothes since about 13 weeks, altho have been finding pants a mission. I prefer over bumps, but normal big knickers dont quite cut it. Only decent over bumps are Mothercare but I think £10 for 2 pairs is extortionate. Have ordered some soft nursing bras from H&M to try this week as everything I own now hurts and I can't swing in the wind at work. Well I could, but I don't think it is wise. Ha. I hated the clip down ones last time so haven't bothered even trying those.

Hey ladies, sorry some of you are having such a rough time. UTIs, GD and useless exes can all bugger right off.

Also, "swing in the wind" - excellent phrase!

@LimpLettice. Unfortunately, I think a lot of men have that "Mummys money" attitude. They seem to be quite shocked that they aren't just allowed to walk away with no financial responsibility!

As for the UTI, I'm going to try drinking a shed load of water to clear it and see how I feel tomorrow. I have a midwife appointment on Monday so she'll dip test my pee. I always take a plastic cup with my to midwife appointments - they give you a teeny vial and expect you to pee straight in it!!

@WonkyDonk87. Hmmm, the big guy is certainly testing my patience this week! On the upside the girls uniforms and new school bags are sorted for the new term :-) one less thing to worry about!

My belly seems much hairier than usual. Is that a thing?!

I think so! Mine was and is starting to be this time although I'm dark and hairy ethnically speaking anyway My foster sister grew 3 massive thick long hairs out of her belly button with her first pregnancy 18 years ago and still has to regularly pluck them out now!

@SoozC. And @limplettice. Imagine what it's like for me with PCOS!! 😂 My skin colour makes me look like an extra from Twilight and I have fair hair - I have thick BLACK hair on my belly, chest and neck! I pluck the belly and chest hair (Which is really hard as a have a sternotomy scar all the way down it) and I have to shave my stupid neck hair 😂. I don't understand how you can be fair haired and have black body hair! The funny thing is, Is my leg/arm and lady garden hair is blonde!

Looking I'm afraid it will come to me too sooner or later. And none of mine is blonde. You have my sympathy. My dearest mother loves to tell everyone about the thick pelt my back was covered in at birth, and while it's not quite that bad now it had to be shaved for my back tattoo. Bit embarrassing but I'm past caring now. The worst thing is that I periodically get stress induced alopecia areata, meaning I'm a gorilla with bald bits. Funnily enough that happens much less since I left my twatty ex!

Limp - ick! Hoping I don't get any of those!

Interesting how the body responds, isn't it? I suppose I'm lucky at the moment that mine is quite fair. I just looked down this morning and it looked far hairier than usual. Does it go away afterwards?!

Sorry to thread crash but noticed @LimpLettice name next to the final post against the thread's listing in Ante-Natal Clubs & clicked on to confirm, then saw @S1lver, @SoozC & @LookingAtTheStars89 too, just so so delighted for all of you - had such kind support during crap start to the year (possibly when I was MrsDub) (& now two months upduffed and going well!) & was filled with admiration for all of you, just wanted to say huge and long overdue congrats and good luck x

@LimpLettice. My 11.5 year old thinks it's hilarious! I get loads of hair on my lower tummy, so when my bump gets huge I can't see it - I was MORTIFIED after I gave birth last time and I got it the bath to see a gorilla belly! I shave it off before every midwife appointment 😂

@PassTheAfterEights ❤❤❤❤

Aw thanks PassTheAfter. Are you going to stay?

Hahaha Looking. My DD is completely fair and finds it mental that my arms are nearly as bad as her dads. I'm afraid I've lost all embarrassment about these things. After the stitching / foof peering of last time a bit of hair is the least of my worries

Sooz. Er. If you're lucky. Adds a textural feature amongst my stretch marks / hernia scar / droopy bit, innit.

Oh dear lord @Milknosugar1, that just makes me think of the shower scene in The Craft