June 2018 #4

[ClareB83]

Just restarting the thread as we're close to 1000 posts again.

June 2018 #3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3100612-june-2018-3

@Ca55andraMortmain

I'm lucky to be under a trust that actually follows the NICE guidelines on maternal request Caesareans and have been assured that I will be given one. Find out what your trust's attitude is in advance if you can. Read the NICE guidelines and be determined, don't waiver!

I would personally advise against saying eg "I think it will probably end up in another EMCS anyway so I want to cut my losses" as you will likely get a bright response like "Actually, the good news is that most women who've had EMCS find they can successfully deliver vaginally the next time!". I would plump instead for something along the lines of (obviously according with whatever you feel/your experience of last time), "Last time was really traumatic and I felt quite out of control, I was worried that X and Y might happen and then had to be rushed in for an EMCS, I would feel really nervous/anxious/frightened about facing the possibility of that happening again and hugely reassured if I could have a planned C section...". Similarly my friends with SPD were told it was not a C section indication (I was told likewise about painful hypermobility) so I wouldn't put all of your eggs in that basket. Good luck!!

@Heregoeseverything thanks! Id planned to basically say that I had the emcs last time because of failure to progress (was 4cm after 24 hours and DDS heartbeat spiked and they were worried about infection because waters had been broken so long). I'm worried about similar happening this time and also had a strong emotional response to the long labour ending in emcs last time. I felt it affected my bond with DD in the early days and would be keen to have a more positive/planned experience this time.

Do you think that sounds ok?

I'm glad to have some C section buddies on here... I am not broadcasting it in real life as there is so much judgement from others . DMIL will need to be told at some stage and I imagine she will have an opinion!

Absolutely @Ca55andraMortmain. You had a traumatic, lengthy labour in which you were worried about your child and you were left psychologically affected by the birth experience, which affected both you and your child after birth. Do not let anyone tell you that that is "no reason" for a C section! I hate the fact that women have to seek "special dispensation" in these sorts of circumstances, it's just not right. I will be with you in spirit!

@Heregoeseverything aw thank you. That's so nice of you. I feel the same about people being a bit judgey of an elcs. To be honest I think even dh thinks I'm trying to take an easy way out for no real reason (he hasn't said anything but I get that impression) so it's nice to be able to talk to someone who gets it!

@Ca55andraMortmain I think that sounds fine. I know for me the worse case scenario would be a repeat of last time which is why I'm going elective. I still have nightmares about it. We have names for both a boy or a girl but not 100 percent sure on the order.

We think we've settled on both names, but we're a bit scared to say we're done as this is forever!

I have to have an elcs but frankly I'm quite happy with that. 5% of twin mums give birth to the first twin and then have to have an emcs for the second. And that's after a labour where you're induced, constantly on monitors, no birthing centre, increased risk of forceps etc etc I think I might have been asking for an elcs even if they were fraternal and vaginal was an option.

We've got a names list and we're going to see what suits him when he arrives.

@Ca55andraMortmain might be worth also saying how much stress it's causing you now and how you've not mentally recovered from last time

Hope everyone is well? I've been off the radar for a few days. Had a projectile vomiting toddler since 4am this morning which has been so much fun .
My bump seems to have physically dropped since Friday - anyone else found that? I hope it's not a sign that baby is going to come early - I'm so not ready! Also it seems to have a foot or something permanently stuck up into my ribs which is quite uncomfortable.

@Ca55andraMortmain I would definitely go down the pychological impact route rather than SPD etc for reason you want an ELCS. Good luck! It's a tough one when you've had a previous traumatic experience.

@SparklesandBubbles I had a scan on Friday (28 weeks) and the sonographer took one look at the position and went "ouch". He or she seems to be headbutting my pelvis with every step I take. I'm terrified they will come early as I went into labour with ds at 38 weeks and they already feel so low. It's my Dad's funeral on Monday and I've had constant nightmares that I go into labour mid eulogy.

29 + 4 here, everything is just feeling like it requires much more effort now and my Bump seems to be growing by the day! He wriggles a lot and sometimes seems to push against my abdomen so I look totally asymmetrical.

We’re on the waiting list for NHS antenatal classes, but they’re short staffed here and are being very cagey about when/if we might get offered something. I know the April classes have been booked and that there are parents with May due dates who are still on the waiting list, so I’m not getting my hopes up.

@Ca55andraMortmain I second Heregoeseverything’s advice on finding out your trusts attitude to elcs. I think your argument sounds very reasonable. It may be hard to talk about it, but I would try to go into how your previous experience affected you and your bond with dd as much as possible - maybe write some notes beforehand if it would help. That, plus previous emcs, plus spd will hopefully be enough to convince them. Good luck!

I’m very impressed some of you have managed to decide on names already! We thought we were doing quite well - we’ve narrowed it down to a shortlist of 6 names. One of them is very unusual, DH suggested it and I really can’t make my mind up about it. The other 5 are very normal, traditional names. Some quite popular at the moment, others have gone out of fashion. We agreed not to share our shortlist - it’s impossible to please everyone - and no one can argue once he’s here and named. I do kinda want opinions on the more unusual option though.

I had lunch with a really close friend this week and he told me his wife is pregnant!!! Their baby is due mid September. I’m really excited we’ll have little ones so close in age. Once we’ve moved we’ll be within fairly easy travelling distance of them, so hopefully we’ll have lots of play dates!

I’ve done a bit of digging and discovered there’s a cloth nappy library in our neighbouring borough and they’re happy to lend to people from outside of the borough (although they won’t deliver to them). They have a social event planned for April, so I think I might go along and chat to people. I’m hoping I can borrow some cloth nappies to try the different types when bump arrives, then once I know what ones I like I can buy a set of my favourites. One more question for our resident expert Ca55andraMortmain How much bulkier are cloth nappies than disposables and does it affect clothing sizing? Or does that depend too much on the size of your baby as well?

@Alice0606 it depends on the nappy. I find Milovia wraps and inserts the slimmest fitting of our nappies- they're probably about the same as a disposable. They do a newborn sized one as well (birth to potty nappies can be really bulky on a newborn so some people like to use specific newborn nappies until baby is bigger). Generally, cloth is bulkier and some clothes, like jeans can be hard to fit over them without sizing up. Leggings can look a bit weird as well if you're used to a slimmer bum but to be honest it doesn't bother me, I quite like the big bum look on DD! H&m clothes are good on cloth bums and lots of scandi and organic brands do cut for cloth trousers too (they're expensive but loads of people sell them second hand so you can get good deals that way).

Names wise we've only decided because dh got fed up of discussing it and insisted we make a decision! Ours are slightly unusual names too, though not unheard of - think we're going to go for Joel for a boy or Juno for a girl. If you want opinions about your unusual option in sure everyone here would be happy to help!

@Ca55andraMortmain I love Juno 👍🏽!

I think we have decided but I’m not 100%, it is literally the only name we can agree on though! I had an absolute favourite that I was set on but H really wasn’t keen so it’s a no go. There were loads of girls names I liked but got a bit stuck with boys names.

My bump is quite low now too but I still think the baby is in a range of bizarre positions. I’m seeing the midwife tomorrow and hopefully she’ll do a quick scan so we can see what he’s up to.

@Ca55andraMortmain awesome names!

I'm also having my bump end up in odd shapes thanks to baby's moving. Can watch it move really clearly now.

@Ca55andraMortmain love your names.

We haven't decided yet. We've got a list of names we like for both boy and girl. I have a top two preference for girl - either Phoebe or Hannah but I'm not sure about boys names at all.

We have a name - obviously if she comes out and it feels wrong it could change, but I imagine it won't as the negotiations were detailed and intense!! Plus I'm not sure I would trust myself to come up with a new name immediately after birth, a friend named her son in a hormonal haze after birth and regrets it, the first name and middle name rhyme and then there is alliteration with the surname (think Donald Ronald Rogers...!).

We have had the same girls name all along but am pretty sure this is another boy, have a list but none I absolutely love am just going to have to wait and see and like others have said not rush into naming x

Hi ladies, wow you lot all seem so much more prepared than me!

I've bought a few bits but still need to dig out the car seat, pram and Snuzpod from last time and see what needs cleaning/replacing. I actually found the list I made of everything I bought when I was pg with DC1 which I think I will use a checklist this time.

Apologies if anyone else has already said it, but magnesium supplements completely sorted out my leg cramps. I was leaping out of bed every night screeching and it was terrifying DH!

I had a scan at the weekend at 27+1 and baby was weighing 2.9lbs which I think seems pretty average. DC1 was 10lbs 3oz at birth so I have prepared myself for another whopper just in case.

I did a hypnobirthing course the first time around but couldn't justify the cost or time with DC2 so instead we paid for a one off, private session at home with the teacher. It was really good to be reminded of breathing techniques, positions for labour etc and I think made it all seem a bit more real!

I also got a call today from my OB to say that my diabetes test came back negative which I'm pretty happy about. One less thing to worry about!

I saw the midwife and consultant this morning and had another quick scan of the baby. Baby is still breech and they’re now estimating his weight at 4lb 😱. Apparently this is 91st percentile so nothing to worry about but it’s just so different to my 1st I can’t get my head around it.

@ElizabethLemon could be worse and be the 99th

@primavez great news about the diabetes test!!

@Northernbeachbum that’ll be at my next scan 😅!

sorry I've been a lurker not a poster on this thread. Love reading everyone's updates.

Is anyone else struggling with sleeping lying on their left hand side?

@ElizabethLemon hope baby turns soon for you.
@lazymclazyface I go to sleep on my left side but I often wake up on my back.

I've just done a massive Boots shop and got lots of the essentials I need for my hospital bag. Going to try and get a basic one together this afternoon if my toddler will let me!!

@ElizabethLemon I really hope not for your sake

@lazymclazyface I try hard at sleeping on my left but it just doesn't work. I seem to rotate during the night and I've accepted that if it means I can sleep then that'll do

I keep trying to do my hospital bag too. Need to do a boots order but keep thinking of other things I might need so until I think the lists finished I'm holding off

Saw the midwife yesterday and they've said baby is the right size and they have no idea which way up he is they didn't seem bothered though

@ElizabethLemon I still wake up on my tummy! I have no idea how that’s possible, it’s so uncomfortable. Poor thing will be getting squashed

I have an appt tomorrow for 31 weeks. Not expecting anything exciting though.

I need to buy a tub of formula and breast pads and then I’m done! Very exciting. Keep on telling myself to wait with the washing until I’ve finished work.