July 2018 Babies

[HarryPotterandtheSAHM]

I thought I’d start this thread now as I can’t see one yet! I got my bfp this weekend on a digital and estimate my due date to be 1st of July, but I have long cycles so I’m anticipating it changing at a dating scan. Anyone else with me for end of June or beginning of July 2018?

Yup! You join by pm-ing unicornberry with your Facebook deets - she then adds too (thanks Emily!)

Hi all,

@Penney I hope the scan gave you the all clear. Thinking of you.

I have been feeling so sick (not actually been sick) since Monday. I was asking for symptoms, now I got them... With DS I was throwing up a lot, with DD (second pregnancy) it was just constant nausea. The latter was definitely worse as there is just no relief.

@lilychouchou it sounds like you've done a great job so far staying calm and measured - I can image how stressful it must be (although I'm sure that everything is fine, it seems like you've had a couple of scans to reassure you already). Feel free to vent anytime, that's what this place is for! Can you have another (private?) scan just to reassure you again?

My turn to vent: The mother guilt is getting to me. My two DC are 3 (nearly 4) and 2 (just). They love wild cuddles, messy play, jumping on me in the morning, and generally are full of energy and need lots of attention. I feel like I'm letting them down since I've started feeling so sick. I have little energy to play with them or pay much attention. Even singing songs just seems too much when I'm nauseous. Bedtime is a drag as I struggle to get them in and out of the bath, and then sit with them with their stories and wait for them to fall asleep. Last night the whole process took about two hours when all I wanted to do was lie down on a couch and put my feet up after having worked all day. DH works late so it's just me most days for bedtime. I have so many more months of this ahead and I feel like I'm disappointing them already. It's so bloody hard!

Anybody else in a similar situation?

Oh, on the plus side, I have just booked a scan for the 20th december - just under three weeks. I should be 9w+2 by then...Very excited!

Oh Lily that is a worry for you but hopefully the bleeding won't get any worse. Mine got a lot worse just over 24 hours after I started spotting. I'll be thinking of you too

Thank you littlebird My scan yesterday showed all clear and the lady said my 'ovaries looked perfect' so that's a positive to take away from yesterday. The really sad point was when I got asked to give a urine sample and it was like I handed the lady a pink lemonade and it came back positive so had to have bloods taken. Yesterday my HCG level was at 104 so i'm back in tomorrow just to make sure it's going down as it should. We're getting there and DH has been a complete star with looking after me. Didn't want to go back to work after that so had the rest of the afternoon off in bed watching films. Had a good chat and a little cry and feel much closer after that so that's nice.
Just think littlebird when you're further alone you should get some of your energy back so don't be too hard on yourself- you're doing an amazing thing making a baby!

Any Lily I know it's hard not to think about it when you go for a wee every time and fear the worst but be kind to yourself too.

As for the throwing up train stories you all deserve medals and I definitely couldn't have hacked that at all!!

xx

@Lilychouchou Thanks for your kind words . I’m in two minds whether To text but I feel it’s a bit impersonal I know I don’t want to tell her in a group as I want her to have her own time to digest it hmmm! And she is my best friend so I know she will be happy for me and will be the person who really keeps in touch. On the other hand if she feels it’s too raw I will understand that too :)

Oh told his best friend last night ... so someone knows outside us! I can’t wait for the relief to tell someone (other than you guys) but I suppose to other people it’s jusy oh nice news anywayyyyy hahha! It’s only us going through it that want to talk about it all day (well I do!) it’s all I think about x

@Lilychouchou sounds like your coping really well! Keep strong and keep thinking everything will be fine ... cos it will :) x

@LucyDolly I'm in a similar situation. One of my closest friends is struggling TTC and has been told there is little chance of her conceiving naturally. I just don't know when or how to tell her my news. I know she will be happy for me but I want to be as tactful as possible.

Separately, if anyone is going for a private early scan and is curious. I had an 8-week scan last night and it was external. So there is hope if you were expecting an internal one!

I'm also in a similar situation, @LucyDolly and DoubleEspresso22 . I don't think she is going to take it very well and am dreading it. I've been looking up lots of threads on how to best approach it and I think I need to make sure she hears it from me, but not tell her too early (partly because the longer I leave it the longer she has to get pregnant before I announce, but also because I've seen threads where people feel that it is cruel for a friend to announce it at the earliest possible juncture ("Why did she feel the need to rub salt in the wound at the earliest possible stage?")).

It's a minefield and needs to be handled so, so carefully. I think the best way (from my research!) is to text saying "I have some news to share with you, give me a call when you can". That way it's not impersonal and you're not worrying that she's seen the text and not replied, but she effectively knows what's coming, can prepare herself and can then get off the phone quickly.

Hi all, I've not been around for a couple of weeks. I've been through a stage of not feeling very hopeful because my symptoms don't seem as bad as they were with my first, and I sort of felt like it wouldn't be possible to be so lucky again which is just silly! I've read back through the thread... hello and good luck to all of the new bfps, Penney I was so sorry to read your messages but good luck going forward, also sorry to hear so many of you are struggling with vomiting. I had a private scan today at 8+4 which showed a strong heartbeat and baby measured bang on for dates, so it all feels more real and possible now! I've been really bloated like I was in my last pregnancy, which is much worse by the evening, and intermittently nauseous with some dry heaves but no actual voms. I've also been ravenous and am eating loads, but still feel like I haven't actually found the thing that I really want to eat! I also think I'm going to be the size of a whale because last time I was eating loads but vomiting loads, this time I've been eating loads without the vomiting! I'll be 12 weeks on Christmas day so it's unlikely I'll have my next scan until after Christmas now, but I'm going to tell a few friends and close family over the next few weeks now that I've had a good scan today. For all of the people having early scans and wondering whether internal or external is more likely, I've had external scans at 8 weeks in both pregnancies. I think the key is making sure you drink loads and are at almost-bursting stage right before the scan, because the full bladder helps to push your uterus up a bit (although it's slightly tortuous when the sonographer is pushing the ultrasound probe on your giant full bladder!)

Hi everyone

Just found out on Monday that I'm pregnant from the doctor after a blood test.
Dates put me at 13 weeks but early scan showed I have a teeny tiny sesame seed size 5+6 baby :)
EDD 29/07

I don't have many symptoms except wanting to wee 5000+ times everyday.
I'm panicking as I keep getting a slight bit of blood, that combined with pains and my brain is spinning. I'm trying not to freak as the pains aren't cramps but more seems like pains that everything is expanding down there; the blood is a tiny amount too and stops very very quickly.

I get excited then scared as it's so early!! I've told some close family, then I panic it's too early to tell!! I'm a walking internal argument!!

Congrats everyone on their BFPs!!

Congrats Charlie! The pains could be your uterus stretching so try not to worry. I’ve had similar pains I’m 9+1 and been for my scan today all is well so think the pains are normal! My sickness didn’t start till I was 6 weeks so yours may come later on. What have doctors said about your dates?

Congrats!!
Every doctor I spoke to was confused about my dates, I'd always had a regular cycle so when I missed one we all assumed it would be a bfp then for 2 months it was just negative after negative then all of a sudden BFP!!
GP sent me for the dating scan and Dr at hospital is very confident that I'm 5 weeks (well, 6 tomorrow!)
Got my little scan pic on the fridge!
Just need to keep the anxiety under wraps.

I’ve had the same issue with a friend who’s been my TTC buddy for 3+ years now. Unfortunately she hasn’t taken it at all well, in spite of DH and I doing everything we could to make the right decision about how to communicate the news. We waited til 10 weeks but wanted her to have a while to process before we share with other mutual friends after our scan which is at 13. I’ve had to conclude that although I feel very sad and sorry for her, her mental health issues are her own. She’s taken a whole week off work because she’s so devastated, and every time we’ve seen her this week she’s been pretty awful to us - she won’t speak to us unless she absolutely has to, and just sits like a rain cloud looking at us like we’ve stomped on her favourite puppy. I have been feeling so fragile anyway that I’m afraid I can’t take it and have made the decision actively to avoid her until she either gets some professional help or starts behaving better. It’s too exhausting and miserable to be made to feel guilty while I’m trying to cope with feeling exhausted/elated/terrified anyway. Hope the rest of you facing the same tricky conversation have a happier outcome than we’ve had. She and her DP are our closest couple friends but it’s looking like that’s probably a thing of the past. It’s increasingly clear that while I have been wishing her well every step of the way, she has never even considered, let alone hoped for, the possibility that we might actually get pregnant. Sad times. Hope you don’t mind the vent!

Oh gosh that is sad @busylizzi you are doing the right thing I think, she obviously needs time to process things and I’m sure she’ll come around in the end. I’ve had fertility problems myself and am now 9+1 after having previous 2 mmc and trying to conceive for 3 years, however I have always been so excited for my friends to have babies, my friends have always been sensitive towards me (which actually I didn’t like) I wanted my friends to be normal around me. It was hard initially when I got told baby news but then I’d think well it’ll happen for me to one day 😊

That’s what I always thought, @18mnthsandcounting. Especially if I knew someone else had had a hard time - it always felt like a little glimmer of hope. Also I’m just super nosy and have always been fascinated in pregnancy as a process anyway, so I always wanted people to be normal so I could find out what they were experiencing. I was probably so annoying - I think I’d punch anyone who wanted a rundown of symptoms right now!! Perhaps that’s why it’s a good idea not to tell people until after 12 weeks and (hopefully) feeling better!

Hi all,
Wasn't sure whether I was going to share but I thought it might help me process.
I went in for my 9 week private scan yesterday for some reassurance to see the heartbeat. After having an ectopic rupture last year I've been a bit anxious. The lady was awful and quite cold. She started scanning and didn't say a word. Then told me she couldn't see a heartbeat. She then asked to do an internal scan and afterwards said she still couldn't see a heartbeat and the baby was measuring 8 weeks. It is now a suspected missed miscarriage. I was told to go to A&E who took an urine sample- which is still positive- and have to go into EPU tomorrow. The nurse told me on the phone that it is highly likely a delayed miscarriage and baby has died but my body still thinks it's pregnant. She said they'll give me another scan for reassurance but they have to wait a week in between scans so they can be sure there is no growth.
I just feel totally numb. I keep hoping the scan could have been wrong although I'm pretty sure it couldn't. I have no idea what to do. I feel like I need another scan to be sure but the idea of waiting another week with all the pregnancy symptoms and knowing the baby isn't alive seems impossible. I have had no pain or bleeding so the idea of waiting for that to start is also terrifying as I have no idea how bad it will be.
Any advice if you've been in a similar situation would be appreciated.

I'm so sorry Bobo... have no advice but just wanted to say I'm very sorry to hear this, it must be an awful shock. The week wait sounds terrible. Fingers crossed it's a mistake and that you get confirmation one way or the other asap. xx

Oh bobo I am so sorry. There is nothing i can say to make you feel better it's an absolutely heartbreaking sistutation to be in!
I had a mmc in Sep. I found out at my 12 week scan when i was 11+4 (after having a scan at 6+3 & 8+5 weeks and seeing the heartbeat :( ) The baby had died at 9+5. I opted for a natural mc and finally passed the baby at 12+5. (While on holiday in spain) Please don't read horror stories online, I regret doing that! People mainly talk about negative situations so you'll find yourself reading stories that quite frankly petrified me.
If you ever want to talk pm me.

I just feel like I'll get the same news at my private scan. Once again im so very sorry xx

I've been away for a few days because I've had the worst cold I've ever experienced in my life. I was sent home from work early on Thursday, with the intention that I would work from home on Friday but I was even worse then. I essentially spent the entire day on Friday asleep on the sofa. I'm feeling much better now than I was (and thankfully had today booked off already) but not sure how I'm going to cope with full days the rest of this week.

We had our Christmas do with our friends from college this weekend. Although I was only 6+2 on Saturday, we had decided to tell them, because it'll probably be another year before we all get together again. Managed to keep it a secret on Friday by refusing drinks due to being so unwell, and filling a hipflask with 'spiced rum' (ginger cordial!) to add to my honey and lemon! My husband announced it during a toast after dinner. All very exciting, but I'm anxious about the possibility of something going wrong, and having to 'undo' it in a few weeks' time. We're the first out of this friendship group to start trying for a baby, so I'm not sure they all really knew how to react.

I'm so sorry to hear about your scan Bobo. And sorry that you didn't have someone sympathetic giving your scan, that must have been awful. I don't have anything useful to say, but please make sure you're being kind to yourself.

Thankyou so much @heregoes @Bluee and @karategirl. Your thoughts really make a difference. I just can't switch my brain off so it's nice to be able to talk about it.
@Bluee thanks for your advice. I will PM you as I'd appreciate hearing from someone who's been through it although I am so sorry that you have!

Bobo I'm so so sorry to hear what's happened. It is so hard to deal with and makes the rest of the world just seem like a blur as the only thing you then care about seems to be the only thing you have no control over.. And to have people be so heartless when they are talking to you about something so precious to you is heart breaking. I don't know if I can be of much help but if you would like to talk please do PM me. Sending hugs xx

So sorry @Bobo, I wish there was something I could say. Really thinking of you and sending lots of love! Xxxx

@ BusyLizzi @18mnthsandcounting

@Lizzi, It seems from my stalking of the infertility boards with a view to handling my similar situation with a dear friend that it is fairly typical for people struggling with conceiving to react badly to pregnancy announcements/want to avoid pregnant friends. That said, that doesn't justify her being positively rude to you - how have you ended up meeting her so many times since you told her, did she choose to cross your path or did you bump into each other? I definitely think you both need space in the short-term.

Similarly, whereas a week off work seems on the extreme end, it's not really a rational thing, it's something that hits people very deeply, so if she needs time off, I get that. But I don't see why she would see fit to tell you she has taken a week off work, that doesn't seem fair and it sounds like she is trying to make you feel bad.

I am just dreading telling my dear friend and worried about what it will do to our relationship. She has gone to ground over the past 6 weeks (she sometimes does this when she is depressed but this is the longest it's gone on, we usually see each other 2-4 times a month) and my DH admitted that he had told her DH that we are trying. I'm worried she is avoiding me in case of announcement. I am worried it will upset her very deeply and will cause a major divide.

@PenneyForThem and @lgh05 thankyou for your thoughts and kind words.
@busylizzi so sorry you've had to deal with that. You are right it is something that she needs to get some help with processing her feelings and its very sad but don't let it take away your deserved happiness.
@heregoes I hope it works out better for you and your friend.

I went to the EPU today and spoke to a really lovely doctor there who went through our options. We were so torn and I kept changing my mind. We decided that surgery would be best for us for peace of mind and knowing when it is going to happen.
Part of me really wanted to book it in this week so I can process and move on but the other part of my brain just can't accept that the baby has really died especially as I've had no bleeding and still feel pregnant. We have decided to have another scan on Monday (They have to wait a week between scans) and then surgery on Tuesday if still no heartbeat.
Not quite sure how I am going to manage til next Monday and second guessing myself the whole time!

So awful and cruel for you, @Bobo . Must feel surreal. I'm glad the EPU doctor at least was lovely. Thinking of you.