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March 2018 (Part 3)

995 replies

Poochieblue · 02/08/2017 11:18

Hi, Just thought I would start this before we ran out of space on part 2 and we all got lost again :-)

Link to Part 2 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2983783-March-2018-Part-2?

Hope that works and hope i'm not stomping on someone's toes xx

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Sallywiththegoodhurrr · 23/08/2017 09:35

I'm so sorry @Flatwhite31 Flowers

SS81C · 23/08/2017 09:39

Oh flatwhite31 I'm absolutely gutted for you. Look after yourselves. Thinking of you over the coming days xxxx

CCBloom1 · 23/08/2017 09:40

@Flatwhite31 I'm so sorry to hear your news. Take some time to process and look after yourself x x

hometownunicorn · 23/08/2017 09:41

flat white I'm so sorry. Flowers
It's a completely devastating thing to go through. I hope the sonographer was nice to you and you have someone to take care of you today and in the coming weeks.

Scoobygang7 · 23/08/2017 09:52

Oh @Flatwhite31 I am so sorry. Take time to take care of yourself Flowers

Moose23IsHungry · 23/08/2017 10:01

@flatwhite31 you poor thing. I am so so sorry. Please take some time out to recover. I have had two MMCs and it's so brutal and unexpected.

lokelani · 23/08/2017 10:04

Oh @Flatwhite31 my heart breaks for you. X

Flatwhite31 · 23/08/2017 10:05

Thank you so much lovely ladies. I'm too numb to even cry. I suspect that'll Happen when the shock eases. @Moose23IsHungry, if you don't mind me asking, how far along were you? I've no idea what the doctor will say to me. I suspect a D&C or ERPC.

Onceuponamama · 23/08/2017 10:10

I'm so sorry this has happened flatwhite Sad Flowers I hope you and your husband are OK. Please look after yourself xx

Moose23IsHungry · 23/08/2017 10:12

@flatwhite31 I found out at 10 weeks first time but the baby had stopped growing at 7. The second time was at 8 weeks but growth stopped at 6.

I had the ERPC twice and it really really helped to get it over and done with. As soon as I found out I just wanted to be "reset" if that makes sense. The op itself is not traumatic- however there will likely be a lot of waiting around on operation day, the hospital makes you speak to about 5 different nurses or doctors for different reasons.

Both times I ordered us a comforting deliveroo takeaway for dinner -- possibly the most comforting curry I've ever had. It's a small thing but it was nice to go home, have a nice meal and then an early night to bed.

Take care x

Flatwhite31 · 23/08/2017 10:19

Thank you @Moose23IsHungry, that's so helpful. Xxx I am going to go for an ERPC I think. What's the recovery like? We are supposed to be going on holiday on Sunday.

FuzzyOwl · 23/08/2017 10:21

I've also had an ERPC Flatwhite and it was quick and painless. The emotional recovery is what takes time. Medical management can be painful and you're in hospital bleeding until you have passed everything (and run the risk of still needing an ERPC if you retain anything, which whilst unusual is enough to put some people off - plus if you have methotrexate you cannot ttc for another three months).

I've also passed everything naturally, purely because I couldn't easily get the childcare for a day in hospital, and I don't recommend it. The not knowing if when it will happen is horrible and painful.

Moose23IsHungry · 23/08/2017 10:34

@flatwhite31 recovery was very quick for me. I was back at work the next day after the second Hmm - could have used the day off but I felt I needed to get back into the swing of it. I hope you can have it done pre holiday and then take some time to relax (and drink wine and eat soft cheese). It's probably not a bad thing to have the holiday lined up to go so soon. Flowers

Excited1203 · 23/08/2017 10:44

I'm so sorry @Flatwhite31, you're right that it is really very cruel to get this when you're already in love with your little one. Have they given you something to take?

Flatwhite31 · 23/08/2017 10:52

No @Excited1203. I've got to see a doctor this afternoon to find out what to do next. I've already decided I don't want to pass it using a pill, as I'd find that too difficult. I didn't post this on here, but we had a private, healthy scan with a heartbeat at 7+5, so the chances of this happening were really low. So unlucky. I know we can get pregnant again, but I know that from now on I'll never enjoy pregnancy, as it'll always be fraught with anxiety caused by this.

FuzzyOwl · 23/08/2017 11:06

I hope you can get an ERPC before you go on holiday. I know my hospital only did the operation on two days per week and I had to wait a week for it. Pregnancy is really stressful and I agree that a miscarriage gets rid of any future enjoyment of them.

Countdowntofour · 23/08/2017 11:14

@flatwhite I'm so, so sorry. Don't know what else to say but I'm gutted for you. ❤ x

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 23/08/2017 11:16

Oh flatwhite I'm so, so sorry. What a horrible horrible thing to happen. xx

whyhastherumgone · 23/08/2017 11:27

@flatwhite31 I'm absolutely gutted for you - seems doubly cruel when you'd already had a good scan. I had a MMC last year at 9 weeks, stopped at 6. I found it easier to put an immediate plan into action and booked in for ERPC as soon as I could [we had to wait a week between scans to be 100% sure] - as it made me feel more in control and I just wanted to get back to normal.

In my case it was very close to Christmas and unfortunately nature took it's course before my appointment for ERPC but it wasn't as bad physically as I feared. Some of the things I felt helped at the time was having people to talk to about it, either online or in real life, and making sure I had lots of home comforts around me. I also completely switched off from real life for a week or so as I felt I needed the time to get to grips with what had happened. Make sure you let yourself grieve.
Agree with previous poster who said takeaway and comfort - and I know you may not want to stay on this thread but there are a few really helpful supportive threads on Mumsnet with some lovely ladies who have been through the same experience that really got me through it.

I know words are empty - I'm so so so sorry you're having to go through this experience. I hope you are not on your own and you have support and if you do still want to post here please don't feel like you have to leave the thread xxxx

GiveMeTheTeaAndNobodyGetsHurt · 23/08/2017 12:05

Flatwhite31, I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your DP Flowers

Flatwhite31 · 23/08/2017 12:08

I'm just so gutted. We felt so attached to the wee thing already. I have such a stressful job, and I don't think it's going to be easy to conceive again. I was so looking forward to telling people today, and now that's all been taken away from me. I tried searching miscarriage threads on here, but I can't find any up to date ones.

Minervamouse77 · 23/08/2017 12:21

@Flatwhite31 I'm so sorry. Thinking of you Flowers

ZylaB · 23/08/2017 12:21

Oh flatwhite I'm so so sorry.

I've had a natural miscarriage and surgical management and the surgical was easier on me. Please be kind to yourself.

FuzzyOwl · 23/08/2017 12:24

flatwhite this is one for ttc after a miscarriage. I don't know from your post whether you will be but if you are or feel you will be later in the year, it will be very similar to this thread but with women who have all been through similar. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3007384-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-Were-nervous-were-hopeful-were-checking-all-the-charts-and-taking-all-the-vits

Flatwhite31 · 23/08/2017 12:49

Thank you so much @FuzzyOwl, that's a huge help. Really appreciate it. Xx