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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

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September #4

996 replies

Frillyhorseyknickers · 19/03/2017 22:45

I couldn't see one - hopefully I haven't duplicated...

A weekend of centerparcs and I'm marshmallowed out!!

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SuziePink · 22/03/2017 08:08

It's not just my ex being an idiot... his dear mother got involved and tried to persuade my parents that I should have an abortion. I'm nearly 30 and my ex is 37. My ex has Asperger's so is sadly very vulnerable to the bollocks she comes out with. She even told my parents I had told my ex I was on the pill, the implication being I got pregnant on purpose by lying, when of course he was fully aware I wasn't and would never have said anything like that to her as he's not really capable of lying. She's also got it into his head that I bullied and manipulated him, which is what she does. Believe it or not, she's actually a counsellor and I've been invited to family stuff for the last year and a half or so.

The result is I've been signed off work for 6 weeks and been having counselling through my employer. My parents and friends have been very supportive which has been a huge help. Because it was unplanned and because of all the stuff that's been going on it's been difficult to think of the pregnancy as a good thing but I'm getting there, helped by the fact my parents and friends are all excited for me.

As for maternity clothes the best place I've been in so far is H&M, they had a sale on at one point so I picked up a pair of maternity jeans, top and dress for a grand total of £18!

I will have a look at fb, I think my privacy settings are turned up to 11 so I'll check and then send an email.

LouLou030783 · 22/03/2017 08:31

Oh suzie hope it gets easier it's so difficult my exes mother was very like that I hope everything gets easier asap

oliversmummy26 · 22/03/2017 10:13

So sorry to hear you're having a tough time Suzie but sounds like you have some good support to keep you going.

My DH works away during the week, near his parents (about 3 hours from our home) so saw his mum last night. He told her that we're finding out the sex of the baby on Sunday and that I'm then having a special lunch with my mum to tell her if it's a boy or a girl. His mum then gets all upset and says when will she find out, DH says "eventually"! Honestly!! It's not a special lunch, it's bloody mother's day, so I'm seeing my mother with my sisters and we're takign her out for afternoon tea as a surprise. The gender scan just happens to be on the same day, as it's the earliest we can do it and take DS with us and it's my mother's day treat. It does annoy me how my mum at least seems to forget that I'm a mother on mother's day too!

So now I have to think up a special way of telling MIL if it's a girl or a boy. And more than likely sorting her out with some sort of mother's day gift as DH won't have thought of anything.

Is it just me, or can men be a little bit useless with their mothers!

flymo79 · 22/03/2017 13:04

Oh how annoying olivers! My dh is prone to that sort of foot-in-mouth blunder... I would just tick him off for dropping you in it, remind him it's mothers' day and task him with doing the reveal for his mum.... It does annoy me that we end up being surrogate daughters to our MiLs when they actually have children of their own to sort out hurt feelings/nice gestures!!! I've reminded dh it's MD on Sunday but that's as far as I'm gonna go...

Hi suzie, welcome aboard!!

Lemondrop09 · 22/03/2017 14:29

Hi all

Can I join? I'm 12 weeks, although baby is measuring 5 days ahead so following scan just had EDD bumped up from early October to 30 September!

I'm suffering from HG and ended up signed off work for 5 weeks. I'm now trying to work from home but still feel rotten and frankly I'm not achieving much at all. Waiting for this pregnancy thing to get fun....

Also going through formal consultation at work so looking likely I'm going to be made redundant and lose out on some very generous maternity pay terms Sad.

Oh well, still very happy to be pregnant but not having much fun right now.

Frilly saw your post about hayfever. I would strongly recommend getting a red light allergy device. You'll need to get one now and start ASAP, as it's only really any good if you use it before your symptoms kick in. Not much help once your symptoms have really flared up for weeks. Yes, you'll look like a wally using it, but it really helped me. I haven't taken antihistamines in the last five or so years. As an aside, there are some antihistamines you can take in pregnancy which are safe (I know because I'm on some high dose antihistamines as part of my HG treatment. It's the drowsy old fashioned Ines which are usually safe)

StarWish1 · 22/03/2017 18:50

Suzie what a stressful start to your pregnancy you're having. I'm glad your work are being supportive and you've managed to access some counselling through them. Just stay focused on the baby and ignore all the rubbish going on around you.

Olivers men are rubbish with that type of stuff. Mine has invited his round on Sunday for lunch so I now need to do a thorough clean and cook on Sunday - not how I wanted to spend my day.

LouLou030783 · 22/03/2017 19:06

I think men genuinely forget that their partners are still mothers and instead focus too much on their own, although mil is away at the mo but I have a feeling he may forget

Lemon were the redundancies afloat before u fell pregnant as id be super suspicious about them making someone pregnant redundant

puttingourhoodupdown · 22/03/2017 19:20

Just checking in....I fell off the last thread!

Original poster
Frillyhorseyknickers · 22/03/2017 19:52

lemondrop thanks I will look into that. Sorry to hear HG is giving you a rough time, hope you feel better soon.

I've got a cold at the moment, feeling rotten today. Told work last week, as suspected they were less than thrilled given we've just lost my assistant and I've (last week) taken on two big new clients. I sat my boss down to tell him rather than just banging in my notification via our intranet which I could have done - he asked me to keep it quiet until we tell clients, no congratulations, no happiness. I walked out of that meeting and decided - fuck it. No more 7am starts and 7pm finishes and I'm taking my lunch hours which I haven't done in about five years. If you're going to treat me like that, you can get knotted if you think I'm busting a bollock.

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LouLou030783 · 22/03/2017 20:04

Frilly what a joke yeah I defo wouldn't be busting a gut for them not a very nice response at all

SuziePink · 22/03/2017 20:16

Thank you for all your supportive comments. I'm hoping things will improve and my ex will at least start speaking to me, he agreed to go to relationship counselling but I know she's against it so he hasn't got back to me about it. She's probably making his life hell as well.

I've never hated someone so much in my life and it annoys me that she's got in my head. If she went under a bus tomorrow I'd probably have a celebratory glass of wine. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

It's disappointing that so many other people have problems with MILs. I'm determined to bring up my son to respect women and be independent of me.

Original poster
Frillyhorseyknickers · 22/03/2017 20:45

lou unfortunately that's how it is in the industry I work in - fee earners are not really expected to have a life outside of work. I waited until I'd banked my bonus before I told them, as I knew otherwise something would "happen" to reduce it. Silver cloud is that our enhanced mat pay is 6months full pay and I'll accrue my holiday allocation of 35days during my leave. Next job - allocate all of this year's holiday 🎉🎉

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LouLou030783 · 23/03/2017 05:20

frilly what is it u do?

Mat pay is good Holiday wise I'm the same I still accrue

Original poster
Frillyhorseyknickers · 23/03/2017 06:49

lou in a chartered surveyor - specialise is rural estate management and bank valuations. My team is fairly male dominated, and they think nothing of a 14/16hour working day. I do have a life outside of work!

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LouLou030783 · 23/03/2017 07:09

Frilly ah makes sense, it's amazing how many male dominated jobs forget about having a life outside of work and working days like that is not fun for anyone

My oh is self employed and works 6 days a week well mostly 7 as he's always in on his day off and it's so hard with a family, the day after I had ds he was back at work although most days he left by 10am I'm hoping he doesn't do that this time as I'm due while kids are still at school so it would be torture having to get 2 older kids sorted a baby and a 14 month old

EssentialHummus · 23/03/2017 08:02

Hello everyone, found you all!

We are on a short family holiday to see DH's parents and mine. Symptom-wise, I have an odd combo - patches of very, very red and dry skin in places (any ideas?) and an aversion to meat that looks like meat (chicken on the bone etc). Anyone else?

16+2 today.

Lemondrop09 · 23/03/2017 11:09

Lou, unfortunately they are basically closing our London office and shifting all the work north. The vast majority of staff are getting chopped, so it would be hard for me to argue pregnancy discrimination. My plan is to sit tight as long as possible in the hips I'm there long enough to qualify for mat pay (then I wed to try and argue for contractural pay if the contract ends early, rather than just SMP, but that's a whole other headache)

I had an awful day yesterday. Could stop throwing up, ended up vomiting blood Confused Called in sick today and am mostly busy feeling sorry for myself.

LouLou030783 · 23/03/2017 11:31

God lemon that's not so good hopefully u end up there long enough to qualify for pay it's hard enough being pregnant without that added stress hope u feel better soon

Essential I think meat aversion is quite a common side affect

Lules · 23/03/2017 11:36

lemon have you spoken to your doctor/midwife? It's really not good to be throwing up that much. If you get too dehydrated they'll put you on a drip and it does make you feel a lot better.

oliversmummy26 · 23/03/2017 11:40

Morning all, Hummus not quite the same, but I have a patch of intermittently horribly itchy skin on my shoulder blade, annoyingly just out of reach. But there's nothing there. I though I might just be a massive spot, but nothing, very odd!

Terrible night's sleep last night, almost falling asleep on the sofa so to bed at 9.30pm, 11.30pm still wide awake, so got up and watched some TV. Finally got to sleep at about 1am, so so tired today!

Lules · 23/03/2017 11:40

Also I've got an appointment for a birth options clinic in a few weeks time I guess because I had an EMCS last time. Anyone else had this? What do they do?

oliversmummy26 · 23/03/2017 11:43

Lules I have the same at 21 weeks with a specialist midwife, because I had EMCS last time. I am guessing they will go through your last birth (they should have your full notes from last time) and discuss options for this birth. Do you know what you want to do yet? I am continually swinging between VBAC and ELCS...part of my would like to try a VBAC, I was induced last time, so have never experienced natural labour. But I'm terrified that the same will happen again and I'll end up with EMCS!

Lemondrop09 · 23/03/2017 11:44

Thanks all. Yes, I ended up at GP at just 5 weeks with vomiting and I've been on medication ever since. Did end up calling the out of hours GP last night and he said if it carried on, go to A&E. Luckily I didn't throw up again and managed to sleep instead. Am waiting for a call back from my GP today, hope he doesn't want me to go in as I don't want to get out of bed

Lules · 23/03/2017 11:58

I don't know olivers. If I could guarantee a straightforward vaginal birth I'd do that definitely. But I couldn't cope with trying and ending up with a c section again. I found it quite traumatic. I don't know why. It was fine, just exhausting, while it was going on.

oliversmummy26 · 23/03/2017 12:04

Lules I feel exactly the same. I would love to be able guarantee a straightforward VBAC, but no one can. Which makes me lean towards elective..