May 2017 #9 3rd trimester!

[Rustler74]

Hello all! Now to find a way to guide you to the new thread...

Just me and DH at the birth. Though I hadn't really considered who to tell and when. My DF or best mate will be dog sitting for me if we are at hospital for a prolonged period. I'm debating now not telling anyone but close family for a day or so after we get home to get to grips with our new chaos life, but I don't want to upset anyone either. Luckily DH is a private person so wont tell anyone without double checking I'm happy for people to know/visit. There really are so many things to think about aren't there!!

Sauvignon JJB tights are terrible! I bought two pairs recently and haven't even opened the second. Can't be bothered to return them though.

Will be just me and DH at birth. Mum agrees that it's something we should do as a couple. I know I'm going to struggle with her wanting updates though, I think I'll need to set boundaries in advance. Both sets of parents are in London so I expect we'll have lots of visitors very soon after!

It will be just me and dh there when the baby is born. We're in south east London and my family is in Manchester and his are in Yorkshire so not really possible for anyone else to be there although I'm not sure I'd want anyone else there. My mum was there when my sister gave birth and I think in theory it would be nice to have here there but given the distance I'm happy with it being just me and dh.

I've got my 28 week midwife appointment today. Not looking forward to another blood test, especially as I've got the gtt tomorrow. I'm not going to have much blood left at this rate!

Rustler - sadly it's just the way things are for me. It was a conscious decision not to tell any of them, because I know for a fact they would do their best to ruin the experience for me (in a myriad of ways). And who needs that when you're expecting?! Thankfully I do have some very good friends, who are sadly not very close... but they're always there at the end of the phone. I think the time on our own though will be incredibly precious, so that's what I'm focussing on.

Humorously, reading your post spurred me on into finally booking an Antenatal course. Whereby there were audible raised eyebrows when I informed them of how far gone I am... (Yes, I have left it horrifically late, considering from what I've gleaned, people book them when they're 12-16 weeks gone?!). Thankfully there was one position left on a course which starts reasonably soon - so all is not lost! Phew! At least, hopefully, I'll be able to pick up the baby and feed/clean it by the end of the course!

As for making friends one the course; one can hope. I'm new to the area and I'm a grumpy anti-social bugger most of the time, so I'm just hoping there are not too many 'mother earth' types and a few more 'unmumsy mum' types!

It'll just be me and DH at the hospital, it's a section so grandparents will know the date, but my parents live in England (I'm in NI) and MIL will hopefully be able to pick up my DDs from school/the childminder and bring them in to visit in the evening after the baby has arrived. Well that's the plan anyway!

Last time my section didn't happen until after 8pm and they hung around outside recovery till they got in. I wasn't best pleased at that stage to be honest. At least this time as it's a planned section I should be fairly well-rested and more in a frame of mind to receive visitors! My mum will come over to stay for a couple of weeks after DH's paternity leave finishes, which will be a great help.

Jenny I'm having really odd feelings about being away too.

There is someone who reports into me - when she feels like it and doesn't want to go above me and straight to my manager with the idea of wanting to make me look incompetent (I've heard her on more than one occasion say 'I don't think Raspberry knows' before she's even asked me).

I'm also worried about the person coming in being for want of a better word 'better than me' and me looking out of touch when I return.

Such a sinking feeling...

Just me and my husband at the birth last time, hopefully the same this time although there is talk of a work trip abroad in may so he could end up missing it my mum will have my son so no chance of her stepping in so may have to do it alone in thatcase! Hadn't really thought about that until now, food for thought and perhaps I should put my foot down about him leaving the country!
Had the midwife today, all well. Made care plan from now to delivery and will have an appointment fortnightly in march and then weekly until delivery. She wanted to refer me for consultant let care but is leaving it until they see what's going on at the next scan in 2wks.
Really hadn't thought through the practicalities of being at work. Looking after a toddler and trying to fit all these appointment in, stressful much!! Has spurred me on to get the final baby bits I want organised asap as I don't need that to worry about on top!!

I'm considering asking DP how he would feel about finding out whether my mum could be with us at the birth. She is trained in mindfulness meditation (and has been practising on me and some of her friends) and does a bit of yoga so if we're able to go to the Midwife Led Unit the three of us could have a lovely time!!!! . Bless DP, now he's finished refitting the bathroom he said he's keen to get back into reading the day by day pregnancy book. But he's not a natural reader so then decided to get straight to the chase and put 'giving birth' into google and watched 3 videos he said he had a few tears at one because it was lovely!!

Ladies that are finding that childcare needs to be booked now for this time next year - do you all live in London or other huge cities?!! Please say you do... I'm going to be too busy inducting my Replacement from Monday ( at the TV programme people have been telling me not to watch) to go and see any options and not really ready to think about it right now...

Don't panic dream. I didn't sort out childcare for DD until she was about 6m old (started nursery at a year). I'm in North London.

If you weren't there at the conception you're not going to be there at the birth, that's my motto! Not sure how the midwives fit into this

Love it Fox

Esme that's reassuring!

Peas I'm being very firm on DH's travel after Easter. He will be there and that's that!

He did, however, mention a stag abroad in mid-June. I suggested he may want to consider that before we discussed it again...

talk of this TV programme is making me stressed out about work all over again. My replacement is a permanent hire (we do need more people in general), I've been told there's enough work for both of us when I return which to be fair is probably true but it has made me feel paranoid about it, especially since she's more experienced than me.. also whenever I try to talk about return to work I've practically been talked over by male bosses and told that people always change their mind once they are actually on maternity leave.. that may well be true but they could pretend to listen to my plans!

Oh god not really thought about who's going to be there for the birth..

DH will be, I think he'll be good although probably not assertive with midwives.

I'm a bit upset my mum hasn't even asked me about it.. don't know if she's being overly polite or doesn't want to be there. We're close in a lot of ways but don't tend to do Big Talk (she doesn't really talk about her emotions).

PiLs are super excited but I can tell MiL is trying really hard not to be pushy.. she actually cried when DH asked her if she'd be up for babysitting sometimes when we go back to work saying some people don't want their MiL to! So I don't think they'll just turn up.. don't really mind seeing them in the hospital afterwards but I think I'd find it stressful knowing they were waiting just outside..

Both sets of parents are about an hour away. We'll need someone to go and let the dogs out for a wee.

Oh Autumn sorry to hear that. As people helpfully pointed out to me last week when I was v anxious, the law is on our side so log it, tackle it where you can and try not to dwell on the things you don't know until it comes time to return to work. Easier said than done though

MrsJW another DP over here with a stag do in July. It's his brothers (fabulous brother is marrying an equally fabulous chap) so I said yes of course you must go initially but it turns out that apart from DP's brother and DP all the other people going are women. In their 20's I think. I'll have given birth a couple of months previously, am mid 30's and will be sleep deprived and am now like but DP didn't know and it's not in his control. Totally not worried about DP and a load of women other than that he's adorable and they'll think it's hilarious but just feel like I won't be feeling myself or have much confidence at the time. So feel like I either say I'm but don't want him to change his plans (though also annoyed that at the wedding he'll know all the female friends and I'll be the poor old thing that had been left at home with 2 month old now at wedding trying to look glam with baby vom over my dress) or say nothing and try and be fabulous too... Grrr

Aw autumn at your mil! Might be worth saying that if everything goes well they don't keep you in hospital as long as may have been the case back in her day, but invite them round once you've got home and had a nap?!

Talking of stag and hens

I am chief bm and planning cousin S hen do. A weekend away on 17th march. I will be 30 wks preg.

The week after it is turnips 4th birthday and we go to Disney. 31 wks.

He week after DH goes on cousin H stag do. To Dublin. 32 wks.

Then at 37+2 I am bm for cousin S.

1st July is cousin H wedding .... who has asked if baby can stay with mil as she doesn't want spud 'Stealing her day' ... then proceeded to ask if she could be at his birth as she has never seen a birth before. I have no idea how my emotional self stayed calm and polite whilst inside I swore ... lots! Obviously I have pointed out how our baby will be with us on the 1st July. And also that the birth is a private affair 😡

DH also has a stag at the end of June.
I thought about it for months and eventually said he can go.
Its 2 nights and his aunt is going to help me out.

I can't believe the cheek of your cousin H bean! Good for you for setting her straight.

OMG bean WTF?!!!

Thanks dream, you're totally right I am worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet! But as you say easier said than done.

Savage I know bless her , I think that's a good idea excellently put!

at your cousin bean!!!! Cheek of it!

Bean you won.

Omg bean you did well not to slap her! Lol