July 2017 #3

[Notyetthere]

I can't believe we re already onto the 3rd thread!

Link to the last one
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2792757-July-2017-2?watched=1&msgid=65976383#65976383

List below hopefully updated but if there are errors with your usernames or EDD changed after scans please let me know.

LuciBee231015 - DC1 - EDD 23/06/17

Thumbsupforthesixbillion - DC1 - EDD 30/06/17

Kitsandkids – DC3 - EDD 01/07/17
BrioLover - DC2 - EDD 01/07/17

FlatWhiteAddict- DC1 - EDD 01/07/17

Ciderandskatesdontmix – DC3 - EDD 01/07/17

Sunshineeyes- DC? - EDD 01/07/17

Notyetthere - DC1 - EDD 01/01/17
DiddlyDokey - DC2 - EDD 02/07/17

Spirit1301- DC3 - EDD 02/07/17

Bloopbleep - DC? - EDD 02/07/17

foxtrot1301 - DC? - EDD 02/07/17

jellylegs7 – DC1 - EDD 02/07/17

kimmy878 – DC4 – EDD 02/07/17

becca1611 – DC1 - EDD 02/07/17
DaisyQueen – DC3- EDD 02/07/17
Goldfish99 – DC1 - EDD 03/07/17

Moonbeam2216 - DC? - EDD 03/07/17

Jaronior – DC3- EDD 04/07/17
pennyj29 – DC2 – EDD 05/07/17

rhodes2015 – DC1 – EDD 05/07/17

PathologyGeek – DC2 – EDD 05/07/17

Knittinggurl – DC1- EDD 06/07/17

Seahawk80 - DC1 - EDD 07/07/17

Littlemisssugarplum88 – DC1 - EDD 07/07/17
DamsonGinIsMyThing – DC1 – EDD 07/07/17
Racketpot - DC1 – EDD 07/07/17
Fluffandsnuff – DC2 – EDD 08/07/17

Krissy81 – DC2 – EDD 08/07/17


Bawbles - DC2 – EDD 08/07/17


Missdiva155 - DC1 - EDD 09/07/17

GreenRedBlue – DC2 - EDD 09/07/17

Whycanineverthinkofausername – DC1 – EDD 09/07/17

gingernut0106 – DC3 - EDD 10/07/17

Glasshalfsomething – DC? – EDD 10/07/17
wildone81– DC1 – EDD 09/07/17
Sasspop– DC? – EDD 11/07/17

BeckyNW – DC1 – EDD 11/07/17

Johno85 – DC1 – EDD 11/07/17

Smileygrapefruit – DC3 – EDD 11/07/17

MrsBobDylan – DC4 – EDD 12/07/17

UKrider- DC1 - EDD 12/07/17

Glitterbandit – DC2 – EDD 12/07/17

Penny85 - DC1 – EDD 12/07/17

BakerJ - DC1 – EDD 12/07/17

Harvestwidow - DC1 – EDD 12/07/17

crombanna – DC1 – EDD 13/07/17

alex171 – DC2 – EDD 13/07/17

bluebird1235 – DC1 and 2 - EDD 13/07/17
- TWINS
hellsbellsmrsbell– DC3 - EDD 14/07/17

katonic – DC1 - EDD 14/07/17

Thenailgirl – DC4 - EDD 14/07/17

Ihavenousername – DC4 – EDD 15/07/17

Tatatetelle – DC1 – EDD 15/07/17

Lallypopstick – DC1 – EDD 15/07/17

Mouse14 – DC1 – EDD 15/07/17


Twixes – DC2 - EDD 17/07/17

Subshine120530 - DC2 - EDD 17/07/17

justamummy27 - DC2 - EDD 17/07/17

Xalonera - DC2 - EDD 17/07/17

Ctupp – DC1 - EDD 18/07/17
Newbie10 – DC1 - EDD 18/07/17

Boggleyboodle - DC2 - EDD 18/07/17

mummycaitlin - DC2 – EDD 19/07/17
purplebella – DC3 - EDD 19/07/17

10Betty10 – DC1 - EDD 19/07/17

DeliciouslyHella – DC2 - EDD 19/07/17

Ml1091 - DC1 - EDD 19/07/17

Hewhew – DC3 – EDD 20/07/17

Mummy10121417– DC4 – EDD 20/07/17

Gooseygoosey12345 – DC2 – EDD 20/07/17

herewegoonceagain – DC5 – EDD 21/07/17

TiltedNewt – DC2 – EDD 21/07/17

Spindelina – DC2 - EDD 21/07/17

Hollyhop17 – DC? - EDD 21/07/17

em165 - DC2 - EDD 23/07/17

0EatSleepTeachRepeat – DC1 - EDD 23/07/17

parsnips82 – DC1 – EDD 23/07/17


CatRash – DC1 – EDD 24/07/17

Sewingbeatshousework - DC3 - EDD 25/07/17

Danigrace – DC1 – EDD 25/07/17
Amzz – DC2 - EDD 26/07/17
Katie0907 - DC2- EDD 26/07/17
TinklingTheIvories – DC? - EDD 27/07/17

PurplePikmin – DC? - EDD 27/07/17

Sweets27 – DC2 - EDD 27/07/17

Holz657 – DC? - EDD 27/07/17

AMillionMilesFromThere – DC3 - EDD 28/07/17
BeapBeap - DC2 - EDD 29/07/17

sandsandwiches – DC2 – EDD 30/07/17

LetMeHaveABloodyName – DC1 – EDD 30/07/17
Chunder - DC2 – EDD 30/07/17

KatelovesJames - DC2 – EDD 30/07/17
Kickiedee – DC1 – EDD 30/07/17
Zogthebiggestdragon – DC2 – EDD 31/07/17
Saltycaramelshortbread – DC1 and DC2 – EDD – 4/08/17 - TWINS
sparkle789 – DC3 – EDD ??/07/17

Portolady85 – DC5 – EDD ??/07/17

Dottyb21– DC? – EDD ??/07/17

MsJuliaHen – DC1 – EDD ??/07/17

user1479143035 - DC? – EDD ??/07/17

monal - DC2 – EDD ??/07/17


JellytotsRule - DC2 – EDD ??/07/17

mamarach26 - DC2 – EDD ??/07/17
Mawita - DC? – EDD ??/07/17

TinklingTheIvories - DC? – EDD ??/07/17

Racketpot - DC? – EDD ??/07/17
DrewOB0 - DC? – EDD ??/07/17

Name change - Popularcontrarian– DC2 - EDD 23/07/17. sorry I can't locate your new username!

Sea, same! Really can't believe I'm pregnant. I have my next midwife appointment on 18th jan and she told me she would Listen to heartbeat (makes me really anxious already thinking about this) and to bring DH if he wants a listen. will be 16+1 then.

I get 5months full pay and 4months smp, last 3 months nothing so going to have the 9months and add 5 weeks holiday on the end.
I do need to save a bit to supplement the 4months on smp though As I'm also the main earner, well not so much main earner, as more consistent earner.... DH is a self employed plasterer and earns similar most of the time but the 4months on smp will start just before Xmas when DH work can sometimes go a bit slack.

Midwife forgot to give me my exemption form for dentists and I'm due to go a few days before I see her again! So may have to delay unless I want to faff about ringing the docs and arranging to get it before!

Those of you whose DPs are employed, do you know about the new(ish) shared parental leave? You can effectively transfer some of your leave and SMP to your DP. So you could eg go back to work at 6 months, and DP take three months off paid the equivalent of SMP.

I have a colleague (higher paid than her DH) who did exactly that last year very successfully - they reckon he's a much more confident and engaged parent because he was chucked in the deep end for a few months.

Luci lucky you! My firm don't do bonuses which is a shame. I think if I pay off about £400/month it'll be clear by the time baby arrives. Hopefully...

I know what you mean about the expense of things. I'm going to try and get second hand where you can get away with it to try and save some pennies and buy something every month so it doesn't hit all at once.

We could do with a new car too.

I say all this but I still have a week and a half till my first scan!

Spind - I read about that last night and it seems like a good idea. The thing is I want the time off and I want my DH to step up and be the main earner for once. We fall back on my salary too much and I want to test him a bit. Of course if it all goes tits up at least we can do the shared thing.

I really want him to go employed rather than self employed too...Its so much more reliable and just feels safer even if it is less money for him.

That's a lot of posts - sorry!!!

Yeah, different approaches are going to suit different people and different situations! As a feminist, it gladdens me that men have the legal right to share in that early parenting (even if they don't want to take up the opportunity, or aren't allowed to - it requires the consent if the mother). I'm disappointed that there still isn't an equivalent of maternity allowance for self employed partners, but I'm sure we'll get there eventually.

I'm not too sure what I am entitled to. Would just my HR managers information give me the best options? or should I look into this further?

The shared leave is brilliant and lots of my friends have done it really successfully. DH is just starting a new job so doesn't want to ask for time off and I don't really like my job that much so I'm quite glad DH isn't that keen on sharing the leave! Once I go back to work I'll work some weekends so he'll be on his own with the baby then. I think that will be nice for them to have some days together to bond.

My cousin is moving house and has given me her cot bed. I'm hoping to get a few bits donated / second hand as although we aRe fine for money now mat leave will be a struggle but like others have said - we'll have to manage.

I might call the midwife and ask her if she will listen to the heartbeat on my next appointment as I'm working almost everyday in January so if I'm going to have an extra scan it needs to be the day before the appointment.

I am really lucky that I'm a foster carer as effectively I'll be paid to stay at home with my baby. We have two foster children who will have been with us 3 years when the baby's due and they are as much 'ours' as they can be. They call us Mum and Dad etc. So the baby will just be a new sibling for them. But essentially, as they go to school, I will be able to be a SAHM to the baby whilst also getting paid. I feel very, very fortunate.

Littlejay do you mean what you are legally entitled to, or do you want to know what you might get above and beyond the minimum?

If the former, what are your circumstances? I'm sure we can work it out between us.

If the latter, then yes, your HR (or their policies - on your intranet if you have such a thing?) would be the best place to look.

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, It's copied from my HR managers email, I have been working here for 10 months so far:

This is paid at
90% of average earnings for the first 6 weeks of maternity leave and the
prescribed statutory rate for the next 33 weeks at the current rate.
Employees who are not eligible to receive SMP may be eligible to receive a
Maternity Allowance from the Social Security Benefits Office.

Employees who have completed 26 weeks continuous employment with the
Company are also entitled to additional maternity leave. The 26 weeks
continuous employment must be completed by the end of the QW.

Additional Maternity Leave is (currently) the period of up to 13 weeks
of optional, unpaid leave (for eligible employees).

Is this deemed good or average?

Thank you so much for helping Spindelina!

That's the legal minimum (SMP) - sorry!

If you've already been there 10 months, you'll meet the 26 weeks by QW (qualifying week - I think week 24? it's the 15th week before you expected week of childbirth or something like that).

So you'll get 6 weeks at 90%, 33 weeks at £140 a week (ish), and 13 weeks unpaid.

If you go back after 6 months or less, you are entitled to go back to your job. If you take more than six months, they can give you a different job as long as it's the same pay, same 'stature' etc. So if you were e.g. PA to one person, they could change you to be PA to someone else, or something like that.

Yes Spind it's definitely a step in the right direction isn't it? I think the government are starting to realise that the man in a relationship isn't necessarily the main earner. Now if only they'd change it so the entire SMP was income based - wishful thinking I think!!!

Kits what a lovely, selfless job to have though!! Have you told your foster children yet about their new sibling? I imagine they'll be quite excited!

And that the woman isn't necessarily the only (or even primary) caregiver.

I saw one of those well meaning bits of writing on facebook last night, saying that a woman needs to earn £40k to break even with full time childcare for two kids, and comparing that to women's average salary (more like £24k). I nearly blew a gasket. It was pointed out to me that part of the thinking behind it might be to point out the gender pay gap, but a) that wasn't even mentioned and b) one of the reasons for the gender pay gap is the societal expectation that childcare is the responsibility (to do / pay for / organise) of women.

Sorry, I shall stop ranting.

Scan next Wednesday

That is shocking!! As far as I'm concerned my DH can do everything with childcare apart from breastfeed! Although I did say we could get him one of those fake breasts like in Meet the Parents/Fockers

Not long!! Is this your "12 week" scan? Mine's a week Monday and it can't come quick enough!!

Thankyou for looking at that!

That's not bad really saying I haven't been here very long :-)

Yeah "12 week" scan. 13+0 by LMP, 12+4or5 by the three other scans I've had. Last scan was at c.9 weeks, so no reason to be concerned about viability (though I am, obvs!) but want to get the results of the trisomy screening before we go public.

Has anybody done any research into car seats yet? so much guidance and I'm so confused!

Stuff I'm reading suggests they shouldn't be in a car seat for more that 20 minutes as a new born, but it'll take us longer than that to get home from hospital, never mind going to visit anyone, and when do they stop being a new born and therefore safe in a car seat for up to 2 hours?

Wild I'm finding that car seat advice very confusing, how does that work with travel systems that you can put the car seat on to the pushchair? The whole world of car seats and pushchairs is very very confusing to me!

I think the suggestion is that they shouldn't be in a car seat for more that 20 minutes, whether its in the car, or clipped onto wheels.....

I was under the impression that they shouldn't be in a car seat for more than 2 hours... 20 minutes is just ridiculous!

Luci have you received the travel system yet? Waiting with baited breath here as to what you think of it.

Yes it has been delivered but I'm out straight from work tonight and home late so I won't get to open it until tomorrow morning! I will update you all when I have! I've told DH he isn't allowed to open it without me ha!

wild I read the car seat advice as guidance to keep them in it for min time poss so try to break up long journeys etc and not clip seat onto travel system instead of using pram.

I'd say it's common sense to break up long car journeys /take baby out of seat if you are traveling for hours and hours as they are crunched up in car seats. Not for twenty minutes though, we would have to stop twice on way home from hospital!

I will try and avoid leaving baby in car seat when not travelling though, I did often leave dd in car seat during big supermarket trips to save hassle but will get a sling for this baby or use pram. Also if dd fell asleep in car I'd leave her asleep in the car seat when we got home whereas now I'll transfer baby to crib or pram when we reach destination. I don't recall being told it was so risky ten years ago!

I'd still use carseat on travel system wheels if I was popping in co-op for a few minutes though - it's convenient for very short outings.