Thread 12 TTC#1 Grads. "You are my favourite thing that ever shit all over my hands"

[AudreyBradshaw]

Behold, the wonder of birth! Members from 6 weeks bfp to post-partum wonder Mamas! No question to grotty or minging.

We've come full circle from obsessing about cervical mucus to now obsessing if it's our vagina baby plug going! What larks!

Lots of talk about poo, ours and now babies too! Baby brain is REAL! This heat can kiss my arse. And who KNEW being so neurotic about which changing mat to buy could be so satisfying and addictive!

Sooo many gorgeous babies now! And equally lovely Mummy's! We are amazing! What a year! Can you believe it's been a year since our first tentative TTC thread!? Look how far we've come!

Roll up, literally, in my case, cause I'm practically rotund! for TTC #1 Grads!

It was disgusting pink . Overcooked steak, raw veg and white rice. Cooked in bbq sauce till (according to him) "sticky" (according to me) dry as fuck. Now he's pissed off at me because I wouldn't eat it. Which now makes me feel bad because I feel like I should appreciate it, but I'd been looking forward to juicy steak, corn on the cob, baked potato and coleslaw all day, I enjoy cooking, I was looking forward to making it. He knew what I'd planned because I had it all set out, and I'd had a conversation with him about it. Which is why he started cooking on the quiet. I don't know if I'm so sad because hormones, because guilt for refusing to eat grotty tea, or disappointed because of not eating my planned tea. I think probably a combination of all 3. I'm an ungrateful bitch

Thank you ladies your comments are so kind and lovely , I know she is healthy and happy and I'm just being stupid. Bloody hormones! I'm feeling a lot better..she had a good sleep for 2 hours probably will bite me on the arse tonight but woke up refreshed and then fed for 40mins and was a little angel when I needed to change her bum. Now she's wrapped up like a baby burrito and we're about to watch X factor.

Audrey honest to god I don't know why men can't understand cooking and timing?! My DH is exactly the same. Good luck getting through that steak!

I'm sorry you've had a shitty day potato. Please don't feel guilty about how you feel about DSD atm, I'm sure she will grow out of it at some point and i imagine it's very frustrating for you to see it happening. What has OH said about it? does he understand where you're coming from?

Hope everyone has a lovely Saturday evening xx

Oh no audrey that sounds so bad! Poor you, I'd be gutted too.

So I woke OH up to do a nappy change because why should he get another full nights sleep and he said 'right OK pass him over. The sooner I get back to sleep the better.' Think words are to be had tomorrow. On the plus side he must have felt bad yesterday because he did some daytime nappy changes, took him to asda while I slept and cleaned the bathroom, then took me out for tea.

potato don't feel bad, it sounds so difficult and I'm impressed that it's taken you this long to feel that way

Audrey that sounds like an awful dinner I would have possibly killed OH if he had done that. I am amazed at your restraint!

Miley sorry he is still being a bit useless. We had a chat about about it here and things are a bit better. He has got up at the 5/6 feed today and yesterday and stayed up with him and offered too both days at 2/3 am feed too. And he cleaned whole downstairs Friday afternoon and bathrooms yesterday. We have the saved week of his paternity leave next week and are going away for all of it. Hopefully he will step up and do a decent amount of childcare. Both sets of parents are joining us for a few days too so they will definitely help out.

So my friend who I am bridesmaid for next year is coming to meet Bodhi today (she hasnt had time in last six weeks ). This is the friends whose mother sent me a string of messages at 37 weeks freaking out that my dress wont fit and when was I planning on having lost enough weight to try it on etc. Whats the bet that she turns up with the dress today?!

Sorry to hear he's still being a bit crap miley. Have you spoken to him about it today?

nev, not sure how early next year the wedding is, but even if it's January, that's still a few months away! You've just had a baby and the brides mother should back off and give you some space I'm irritated for you!

Enjoy your week away!

Pink its in May so over 6 months away!

Anyone else finding or found around the 6 week mark their baby is feeding more in the day and less at night? In the last week he has stopped pooing most nights and wakes once for couple of ounces and then is back to sleep.

Oh, Indi, I hope today is a better day. I know exactly what you mean about the emotional moments when they hit. Yesterday was a tough day for me. Your mum and DH are absolutely right that Autumn is perfect how she is. I keep getting panicked about not feeding Quinn very well (she seems to struggle to stay on for long), but as my mum says, she's doing loads of dirty nappies and putting on weight so it must be fine.

It's just so hard to properly believe it (and I'm not sure I really do). I'm sure you're doing brilliantly.

Wow, Nev, your friend sounds a bit hard work (though her mother sounds really rude, actually). Hope they're not too much trouble today, and that you have a good time away next week and enjoy being a new little family.

Thanks for those who answered about the order of changing and feeding. I think I'm going to try Bunch and Miley's approach of feed-change-feed, because Quinn really struggles to stay awake for the second breast. My aim is to get each feed to be at least 20 minutes (10 mins on each breast, otherwise it's not enough to reach the hind milk), but sometimes she really struggles and I get very frustrated.

Quick question - any babies getting dry and slightly flaky skin? Particularly around wrists, armpits, neck, etc.?

If so, how are you treating it?

lisa coconut oil is your friend for dry skin! Harrison had some on his ankles and hands but it sorted it straight away!

nev she sounds like a nice friend! Does she not realise your little one is infinitely more important.

I had a word with OH and he's told me he's anxious about being alone with Harrison because he doesn't feel like it's coming naturally to him told him he needs to grow some man balls and that he's doing fine. The nappy thing is because Squidgy has a bit of nappy rash and he doesn't feel confident he has cleaned him thoroughly and put the nappy on right etc. Think we've made some progress today though, he's done everything except feeds.

Thanks Miley!

Glad your OH has opened up to you. Sounds like he feels a bit vulnerable, and it's good he's at least telling you this now and being honest.

And now he can deal with it and suck it up!

She turned up with the dress for me to try on!!!

Did her mum turn up too nev?! Did you try the dress?!

Nev I can't believe she turned up with the dress! I'd be tempted to tell her where to stick it.

Miley good that you spoke to OH. He'll get more confident in time I'm sure. Men are just a little more detached than we are.

Lisa my HV told me the dry skin is perfectly normal.

Anyone is ring coconut oil... Which brand do you use and where did you get it?

Indi my OH is pretty much indulging DSD at the moment because he thinks she's unhappy. It is maddening but I can see his point. I am very wary of what I say to her now though.

Audrey sorry your meal was horrible. So disappointing when things like that happen.

So, yesterday was the worse day I've had in a long time but today was much better. We went visiting olds and watched a movie.

I've noticed that DSD is only interested in Arya in the slightest when anyone she wants attention from is giving her attention. For example, we saw their grandad today, she'd completely ignored Arya all day even when I tried to engage her but the moment her grandad started cuddling Arya she was all over her like a rash!

Arya's new cot arrived yesterday but I'm still waiting for the sheets I think we're going to start her room tonight but I'm not entirely sure as its getting a bit late. It might be put off again.

Well it fit! Barely did up at the top and when it did i couldn't move ir breathe but am hoping the boobs may go back down a bit and i loose some back fat. Wedding is early may bank holiday so plenty of time...

Yay nev so glad the dress fit! Just so you can stick two fingers up to her and her mum!! You have plenty of time for your boobs to deflate I'm sure it'll look great.

Glad you spoke to oh miley. I think sometimes men need a good talking to, at least he's been honest but completely agree he needs to get his act together and start helping more!

Lisa it's so hard not to worry about every little thing isn't it!?! I just found myself googling 'does my newborn nap too much', I should be bloody thankful but I'm just finding things to stress over. I'm sure you're doing brilliantly too.

Potato it sounds like such a tough situation. Glad you're feeling better today though.

Feeling much better today, my hormones were up the wall yesterday and I felt like I was up and down emotionally the whole day. Today has been much better (plus I slept a whole 5 hours last night ) and we went on our first family outing to the beach and for a hot chocolate at one of the cafes. It was lovely to get out of the house tbh and feel a bit more human. My wound is still tender and can feel a bit stingy/tight at times but I take it it's just knitting back together.

nev No waaaaay! I hope you let Bodhi projectile vom all over it! How spectacularly rude of her! What did you say? I don't think I'd have been able to keep a straight face!

Well done miley it needed to be said to him, and he has to get a grip, grow some man balls and daddy up as it were. Good job on him doing it today though.

Did anyone else lose their mind/memory capability and their balance towards the end of pregnancy? I've fallen over (proper hilarious face plants) twice this weekend now! Managed not to catch the bump but what a muppet!?

(Started writing this at 5pm, posting now so thread has probably moved on)

potato that sounds trying to say the least, you're dealing with it so well. Just smile and ignore, it's attention seeking because she's scared of not being the youngest/only girl etc. It will pass.

indi you're awesome! Well don't on your first family trip out!

Had a full on emotional meltdown this evening. The type of crying you can't breathe properly. absolutely nothing set me off it just came out the blue as Autumn was feeding. I've calmed down now but I've got to say to any mummies/soon to be mummies..PLEASE talk to someone when you feel like that. I'm so lucky I have a supportive mum and DH with me but even if you just come on here and vent it's so important to get your feelings out even if they sound crazy. Hormones are little bastards and will make you feel so shit but please make sure you always talk about what you're feeling ( and have a good bloody cry!)

And Audrey yes I definitely lost my mind and memory towards the end of pregnancy don't really think it's come back yet..

Nev woohoo! On the dress fitting... But I still would have told her where to stick it.

Indi sorry you're suffering from random bouts of hormonal crying, it's good you've got lots of support.
It should just be your hormones levelling out but if it lasts more than a week or two speak to your health visitor/dr/midwife.

Last night at about 9pm we had a knock on the door. Given previous events we weren't sure what to expect so OH opened the door looking very nervous and I stood on the stairs with Arya ready to call the police... It was a bloody Amazon delivery! What kind of weirdo makes deliveries at 9pm on a Sunday?! having flashbacks of my grandparents getting cross at anyone call in after 9pm because you should only do that in an emergency or when it's bad news lol

Arya's sleep patterns have been all over the place the last couple of nights so I think she may be having a growth spurt. hope it passes soon as Arya was on the verge of sleeping through the night and I miss my sleep!

indi you've had a massive massive event, physically, emotionally and mentally, no wonder you're hormonal! You had an operation and a baby in the same afternoon! Cry all you need! I'm firmly of the opinion that tears are balm for the soul

potato here's hoping Arya settles for you quickly tonight. I know what you mean about anything happening after 6 pm, especially on a Sunday, I'd have shit myself if someone knocked in at that time! I'm already freaked out about these clown people dressing up!

Room officially painted yellow! it looks so bright and cheery! Next stop get single bed out of loft and order cot! it's dh's first shift today, he's got to be in at 7am so needs to leave at 6am (until we work out timings of traffic, it can be bad from 6:30 am near us) so I woke up worried I'd miss the alarm to make him brekkie and now I'm wide awake! It's also his birthday today! So I'm attempting a giant jaffa cake birthday cake this morning once I've packed him off! And then we're going to Sepuro Teppenyaki for tea as a surprise! Yum! 🎉🎊🎂

Yeah for the successful room pal ting audrey! When I first read your post I thought you were up at 4.30am baking

Potato, I'm with your grandparents on the calling after 9pm thing!! We had an Amazon deliver at about 8/9pm during the week last week and I was really surprised, I didn't know they even delivered at night.

I hope Arya's sleep improves, and that your DSD's attitude/behaviour also gets better.

Indi, sorry to hear about the crying. Having a baby is a massive shock to the system, make sure you get lots of support from your OH and your mum. How you feeling now?

miley, glad that you spoke to your OH about it. At least there is a reason for him being useless and hopefully it will start getting better now.

Has anyone's baby got colic? For the last three nights before Evelyn has been crying a lot, and we can't find anything to settle her. She goes bright red, looks as if she has wind and then gets flustered and won't settle, even on the boob. We think she is a bit constipated but thinking maybe she has colic too.

*room painting

Indi i spent most the first two weeks crying honestly its normal do not worry yourself about it. With regards to feeling bad that Autumn isn't a big baby I was the same about the fact I had spawned a 9 pounder at barely 5 feet tall (obviously the opposite way round to your concern haha). But both our babies are perfect just as they are.

Miley how was the OH last night?

Pink we have the random crying sometimes often it ends with a huge poo or sick so for Bodhi it's definitely linked to stomach discomfort. He improved hugely when I changed bottles and feed routine. Obviously you dont need to worry about that as she is BF but maybe see any small routine changes have a difference? Could be talking total crap but it helped us.

Potato we have strange times Amazon dleiveries too and live in the arse end of nowhere I can't believe they bother on a Sunday night.

Audrey hope your DHs first day goes well and its the start of better less stressful times for you. You are a hero getting up at that time to make breakfast- my poor OH has to get himself ready for work and is actually washing and sterilising bottles right now before he leaves for school.

In ground breaking news here we DTD for first time since May last night... a little sore in a stretchy way around where stitches were but to be honest after a near 5 month time off I would have expected a bit of discomfort anyway. Definitely glad to have got it out the way as I was starting to get anxious over it.

Have a lovely day everyone!

pink Harrison was much the same at 4am! He's only now just settled so am hoping it was a one off. Colic is one thing I'm not sure I could deal with.

audrey sounds like you have a lovely day ahead! enjoy it, lovely.

We DTD last night. Used a condom because I couldn't possibly contend with pregnancy again so soon. If anything it felt more sensitive OH assures me it doesn't feel any less tight at all, either.

Miley go us with braving DTD again! I went back on the pill the day I got to 28 days post birth. Our original plan was not to prevent another pregnancy from the very beginning but with my friends wedding in May (based on dress gate I will need to be able to drink!) we decided to wait a few months.

Oh wow nev didn't see your post! He redeemed himself hence DTD. I'm glad we did it, too - was starting to get really nervous!

pink I forgot to say - epic crying gits here are usually also linked to huge farts and poo's. I massage his tummy which sometimes helps.

potato what a chow on DSD sounds! My 6yo niece is very much the same having always been the only grandchild. She's only interested in Harrison when others hold him and it drives me nuts. Big medal for you having to live with it!