Due in April 2007 - Keep this to yourself ...

[EllieKwithabigbump]

had a flash of inspiration from Katy!
and seeing as our usual topics are quite , seemed appropriate somehow

Mammjo- poor woman and feel for you aswell.

1b3 - What a huge decision for you Maybe see what your gut intstinct is when you see the actual house?
Not easy to make any decisions whilst flooded with hormones and you have twice as many

Mammyjo - that's terrible for the other mum at your ds' school. How heart-breaking to get to 19 weeks and find that out. My heart goes out to her.

mammyjo - i agree with the others. sometimes i forget that these pains, frets, worries and aches are all for a reason. poor woman.

The thing that makes this such a major decision is that it is a long way from all my family and friends, in a little village, not close to the shops.

It isn't the packing that worries me as we would be moving anyway when this house is finished.

I'm already quite terrified about having twins and how I will cope, I don't know how I will manage without the added support from DH and my family.

1B3 - sounds like you may have answered the question then? Your support network is vital, even if you are living in a building site .

Mammyjo - so about the mum who lost her baby at 19 weeks. Just can't imagine what she's going through.

I'm with you on the mum who just wants to 'help'. It can just get too much sometimes and you just want to say "just leave it". Have just been talking to mum on the phone and she said she would come and stay for a couple of days when DH goes back to work. Was cos I thought she was ready to jump in Dad's car and demand to be brought here as soon as she hears I'm in labour!!! Rather pleased really that it looks like I'm going to get the family time I want (just me DH and baby). I don't mind if my parents want to come down for a day and then come to stay for a few days once DH has gone back to work. Think maybe my sister has been working on her! Despite the fact we talk almost every day we're not really 'close' IYKWIM.

1b3 - Wow that sounds like a lot of work for you looking after DTs and DH doing lots of building work. I know I couldn't face the move either but it would also depend on what the house was like and I'm pretty lazy!!! I don't know how you lot all work ahile your pg!

1b3 - i think you have said what you really need.

i moved miles away rfom my folks and friends when we came to glasgow. i miss them terribly and that has been brought into sharp focus since pg. i think ahead to when she is born, there wont be ongoing support, no babysitters and people to call on in an emergency, never mind impromptu fun times. also- and it is only me, family is important to me and i worry that this LO is gonna miss out on knowing hers as we are so far away. as i said tho - that is just me being a soppy big homebird!

not an easy time for you but maybe listen to what you are saying here???

whoops it took me so long to write that I x-posted with you!!! I don't really know anyone round here and it does get pretty lonely sometimes. Hoping to meet some people at AN classes and mother & toddler groups. Is it a long way from family then?

WO - sounds like you are in the same situation as me. We live about halfway between my family and DHs. Mine is a 2.5hr drive away and DHs is a 4hr drive away. We don't know anyone who'll be able to babysit or just pop round. I find it difficult cos the rest of my family live so close together I feel like this LO might miss out on what I had when I was little. It's not so difficult for DH as his family aren't really that close.

emmymummy It may sound that simple but unfortunatly it isn't.

The way that my DH has put it across to me is that this extra step up on the property ladder saves us time and money, the value of this house plus our flats we rent out means that we can do what we are ultimatly aiming for which is to move to Oz live mortgage free and buy our own buisness out there, with some money left over.

Which is what we both want. I'm just not sure weather this short cut is the right thing to do, there is something that seems a bit on the doggy side to me.
Plus all the extra work may well kill me and DH, after all he is no spring chicken.

I don't want to lose everthing because the people who have offered us this have screwed us over.

The whole situation with my mum coming after I have the LO one is really stressing me out too.. parents live about 2 1/2 hours drive away, and although we havent discussed it properly I get the impression that as soon as I go into labour she will be jumping in the car and driving north..she has already mentioned packing a bag and keeping it in the car from the beginning of April.. then she goes on about how much help I'll need once the baby is born and how I dont realise how hard its going to be and not to worry cos she will be there... now I'm quite happy for her to come and see the baby, when he is born, and obviously cos of the distances involved I cant expect her to pop up for an hour ad then go home, but I really want to have some time just the 3 of us.. ideally she would come up see me in hospital, stay a night and then go home before I got home.. dp is probabaly only going to be able to take a week off work as he's self employed, so after that she can come as much as she wants but some peace would be nice..

I really dont feel like I can talk to her about it though as she is a bit depressed at the moment with various other things, and I think the thought of her first grandchild is keeping her going if that makes sense, and although we have a fantastic relationship she is quite a firey person and is quite likely to take it all the wrong way..

She seems certain that things are going to be the same for me as they were for her and that I wont be able to cope, like when I mentioned I was going to try without an epidural she laughed and said I had the lowest pain threshold ever and I will be begging for it..the ironic thing is that dp already has 2 kids!!

god this is making her seem really bad, she's not, she's the best mum I could ever wish for, its just we are very similar, she has a tendancy to take over...

Jeeez I dont know where all that came from..sorry!!!

afternoon all

1b3 - I think you've answered your question. I really don't know what I'd do without my mum. But she really is a star, and would never dream of calling unannounced, even though she lives a 10min walk away

Bit pee'd offf with an old work colleague - she sent one of these chain emails about James Bulger, and the fact that his killers could be released soon? It started to describe in great detail what they did to him, and I had to delete it before I read anymore. Just felt so physically and emotionally sick how people can do this to each other, and was also annoyed with her sending it. But tbh, I don't think she realised how it would affect me.

But went to soft play this afternoon, and while ds ran riot, I stuffed myself with burger and chips - it was lush felt better then.

Hi everyone, back to our usual busy selves I see.

CD - Fantastic that you DDs slept in this morning. Hope you're feeling ok now and managed to have something to eat. Good luck with the cake baking

Mammyjo - really brings it home that we are lucky despite all our whinging.

1B3 - Sounds like a big decision to me...I don't think I could deal with twins and another child with DH doing loads of work somewhere else, but we're all different. Think you're brave even considering it.

The inlaws thing... My inlaws moved to Spain last July and have already booked to come back on 18th April for a week. Which I am dreading. They are expecting to stay with us for at least half the time and with BIL for the other half. I am dreading it. Allen thinks it's a good idea as it will be people to help me out as I still won't be able to drive, he can't see that It'll just make things more difficult with them here all the time. Don't think I've much choice though. Also MIL is very houseproud and although she won't say anything about the house, she won't actually help with anything. She may surprise me, but last time she was here she did nothing, I even came down from the shower one evening to find Allen and FIL sat on one bit of Sofa (We have a corner unit) and her laid out on the other bit with no room for me and she didn't even offer to move...makes my blood boil now just thinking about it.

Also agree with others about the BF. If they don't like it or feel uncomfortable about they can leave the room, it's my house FFS.

Maveta - I have been feeling hiccups for quiet a while now and did loads with Jake, as others said though you're due nearer the end of April whereas I'm due at the beginning.

SOSPL - Glad you held it together for the dismissal today, well done you. Hope you manage a better nights sleep tonight.

Bramshott - glad DDs boosters went ok. Wonderful that she was so brave.

That's it brain has turned to mush and I can remember no more...sorry to anyone I've missed xx

1B3 - then you must go and see the house and make sure you understand clearly what you are getting into - if it sounds too good to be true then it probably is. Is dh confident that everything is above-board?

Geordie - I would go nuts if my mum decided to come and stay with us, but that would be after fainting with shock at the offer of help! When I had Emily and was suffering with baby-blues in a very big way, dh asked her if she would come over and see me sometimes during the day (he explained that I was a little down with life), and she didn't even manage to do that. Made me very to think that she didn't feel she could support me in that way. So I guess it's a fine balance between them taking over, and them not being there when you need them IYSWIM.

xpost 1b3. I now see your dilemma. oh heck.

GMM - that's just what my mum keeps saying (until today). I felt a lot like I couldn't say anything cos my parents have done so much to help us get ready, buying us stuff for the baby and the like. I've been dropping subtle hints that we'd like a bit of time to get used to things without her there and I think my sister has been saying that we'll want some time on our own. I think mum's expecting me to phone her as soon as baby is born begging her to come down and help out ( maybe she's counting on that????). I'm hoping she's finally taken the hint cos I really don't want to fall out with her. I just wish they could say "We won't make any plans, we'll see how you feel but if you need help let us know and we'll come down." Parents eh, they make things so difficult sometimes!!!

been making up for the last few days being quiet have we ladies?

off to read all the hundreds of posts from today

AngeG - at your MIL, sounds a bit like mine except mine never really relaxes. Have already told DH if they come to visit I'm not going to smile and be polite, I'll be saying what I think. DH said they'd maybe cook for us....FFS I'd starve. Am going there for the weekend and have already planned to get food on the way down for Fri lunch, going out Fri eve and at a party Sat eve...I just can't live on what they eat. For dinner/tea I once got 2 tiny M&S cocktail sausages and 2 boiled potatoes with a small spoon of coleslaw .

nuttygirl - are they tiny if that is what they manage on?? 2 sausages and 2 spuds!!

god the parents/in-laws are stressing us a bit today arent they!!

have just spoken to DH, he is just the tinyest bit crazy, he seems to think that this house will be finished before the DT's come!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really wish you lot could see this place as I think you could all have a good laugh at my Loony DH.

Nuttygirl - Glad someone else in the same boat They annoyed me enough when they lived 10 mins away, but at least they didn't have to spend any prolonged period of time in my house, I really am dreading the idea of them staying here. Especially when I'll be tired and emotional, I don't think I'll be able to keep my temper and if I do with them I'll end up taking it out on Allen which is what happened last time they stayed here. TBH I'm trying not to think about it too much.

Sorry that's turned into a rant again, must get off this topic of conversation

LOL...MIL is a health freak who hardly eats anything, goes to the gym 4 times a week and suffers from high blood pressure (probably cos she doesn't seem capable of relaxing!!!). Think FIL just has to put up with it! Oh and they were tiny potatoes too...u know those baby ones?????

Also DH said (jokingly) when they asked if I was getting big "Well she says she's almost as big as I am now"...so all we've heard for the past couple of months is "are you going to the gym, are you losing weight, you don't want to be fat you know...." I just know I'm gonna get it in the neck when we go down for not putting DH on a diet & making him go to the gym....I wouldn't mind but he's not fat...just has a little pot belly!

AngeG - there's a reason we live 4 hours away from them!!!

1B3 - you really have a tough decision to make. Whilst the long term future is important, so is the short term with 2 new babies. Big hugs to you.

Your DH sounds like mine - always underestimates how long things will take.

Oh and last time they visited I ended up losing my temper with DH, packed a bag, walked out and refused to go back until he got them out of my house....