We've got newbies to cheer us on, the February Warm-Up is complete, after waiting nine long months it's only bloody time for March Madness! Welcome to JS thread no. 46!

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 46th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The 45th grads thread is HERE

The thread we have graduated from is HERE in its 59th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread HERE
for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

HERE is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates. I really hope that worked!

feathered your poor friend...I can't imagine what they are going through
My parents spent 10 years trying for children (no such thing as IVF or fertility treatment back then) and were told it they would never have kids. So they spent their money, went travelling and my mum even got a full time job! They decided to try and adopt, so spent a year doing that and the week they got a letter saying they'd been approved, my mum missed a period and was pregnant with me! Miracles do happen! I'm one of them

feathered that is just so sad. Your poor, poor friend.

pee I would kill him. Was he enthusiastic about baby when TTC? Depression or not he has not right to be such a dick when you're the one going through it all right now!

mermaid that is a lovely story.

Feathered for your friend. I hope you can be there for her.

Mer lovely story about your conception. Are your parents excited about the twins?

Pee how difficult having to deal with your dp's anxiety! Do you have people to be excited with other than him?

Thanks lil and I am going to assume I am also one of the lucky ones unless told otherwise as worrying about it is not going to change the outcome.

Those baby grows are hilarious Mer! Beam me up , baby!

I've got a cool turtle print outfit for our Peanut, can't wait to dress her/him in it!

I have a friend who had literally no symptoms, until she could feel baby movements at around 25 weeks she was convinced it was all made up! No extra peeing? Lil you strong blabbered lucky thing. It's becoming quite problematic how often I need to wee.

Thanks for all the words of support ... I think I've made the mistake of going through cycles of feeling like things will be OK and that DH is getting his shit together only to be taken off guard with his worries again. The suggestion to talk to somebody is a bit scary, but I think that's because it's admitting there is a problem.

I have spoken to friends but I don't think they can quite comprehend that DH has some serious concerns and isn't facing up to this very well, they just think he's being a bit selfish. I do genuinely think he's in some sort of baby shock turmoil though. MAN CRISIS ALERT!

I didn't chat to DH again last night, just felt too emotionally knackered to get upset again. To be fair he'd made me a really nice dinner and been shopping and got lots of preggo supplies for me from the supermarket ... however, I know this is going to keep happening. It needs sorting out as I doubt it's suddenly going to fix itself when the baby arrives.

Kate the aqua natal is fun! Involves lots of chatting to other pregnant ladies which is lovely –it's on a Weds eve at 7:15 at B Baths ... I think you'll know where I mean! It's going to clash with NCT when that begins but I'm going to keep going through April if you fancy it/are free. Would be cool to meet you in real life.

I've sent DH a link to the beardy Dads site ... no doubt he'll ignore it as it'll send him into a cold sweat!

Aw, that is a nice story about you being surprise baby Mer!

hi viroids!
pee I'm sorry your DH is being a willy. But it does sound like he has anxiety issues around this - some of it will surely be completely normal fear/reaction to major lifechanging event, but I agree he shouldn't be offloading it on you! agree you should get him to speak to someone and think about counselling.
feathered oh how heartbreaking. I thought we might have the same bf for a second as my friend has just been through something very similar- 4th IVF pregnancy failed at 9 weeks (after they'd had a scan with a heartbeat and everything) and they've been trying for 5 years. so utterly gutted for them :(
lil thanks for telling me your lack of pg symptoms, makes me feel better about my completely absent ones! haha! I'm not sure if I'm more tired than usual or if that's just this job...
mer what a lovely story! awww.

yoga i dont have a dad anymore, but my mum has turned from Mrs Sensible into a baby-mad grandma already...she was the one person I thought would stay vaguely sane and unfortunately has gone feral....just like SIL who has been buying gypsy-wedding style baby clothes that I will never dress the girls in

Your poor friend Feathered what a totally shitty situation .
Mer love your story!
Fuzzy I know someone in RL who didn't realise she was pg until 5 months a la trashy magazine stories zero symptoms and her baby is very real.
Sorry about your DH problems Pee, you are being very reasonable. I think seeking help is a good idea, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I think sometimes we underestimate what a huge change to a relationship a baby is. I have some friends who've had problems ever since their child was born years ago , I really wish they'd seen someone about it before too long. Don't mean to scare you, the fact that you are discussing it with us means you are way more aware of the problem than they ever were.
I am seeing SIL this weekend. Anyone want to bet what delightful insults she will come out with? I always dread seeing her because I know eventually I will just tell her to fuck off. Would probably do her good but it would be very awkward for DH because his parents treat her like a delicate flower and would always take her side. Must try to behave myself!

Thanks very much for the kind words viroids, much appreciated. It's hit me quite hard - possibly because I'm pregnant, possibly because I know from some of your journeys/stories how heartbreaking fertility treatment/late miscarriage can be. And mostly because I know how much she wants this. It's probably made a million times harder because her closest friends are either pregnant or have just had babies. Lil she's a doctor so I guess she'll know what to ask to ask for regarding tests, thanks for the offer though. Mer it's lovely to hear stories like yours.

I actually know someone who had fertility treatment for 8 years before finally carrying to term and having a healthy baby. Then three months after giving birth, got pregnant naturally - and is now expecting again in July! Mad hey? She can't believe it.

Mer I snorted at the gypsy wedding style baby clothes! Comedy dress up clothes for the girls?! Someone I know has offered some questionable Burberry dresses to me if I have a girl. But can anyone wear Burberry tartan without immediately thinking of Daniella Westbrook? I think not. Sorry - I'm being mean. I'll likely be grateful to anyone who gives us anything.

Fruit what's your SIL like? I don't think you've mentioned her here before? That said, there are lots of "my SIL is a bellend" type threads on AIBU! You might find reading some of them cathartic?!

Pee - your DH is more involved than my DH....mine wouldn't have a clue what to buy/what's on the list! Yours went out and actually bought baby supplies? That's really nice - and also I think backs up your 'man crisis' diagnosis rather than him simply being selfish.

Welcome Kwick! I still dip into the undergrads thread so have been following you - big congratulations and lovely to have you here.

feathered the clothes in question were so pink and frilly DH wasn't sure what they were....

Back in hospital - community midwife sent us up this morning, Conor lost a bit too much weight and is jaundiced. Feeling like absolute crap about it all :(

Bless you Tri - don't feel crap - it's probably more cautionary than anything? Conor will be absolutely fine and you sound like you've been an absolute trooper. Are you feeling well yourself?

He's under the lights since around 3pm and I had to give him a formula top up in two stints with his last feed because he was so sleepy.

I'm holding up pretty well physically for having pushed a small human out of my ladybits 3 days ago, a bit emotional today though. The feeling that I can't feed my son properly despite my best efforts is horrible :(

I hope you're getting the support you need Tri and don't feel bad. In other countries you wouldn't have been home yet anyway.
Doesn't sound like your kind of thing Mermaid!
SIL is just a bit nasty to me. We don't know why but she always makes bitchy comments to me or sometimes in a PA way through her children.

Sorry you're back in, tri but don't feel guilty - he's safe and you haven't failed him at all.

Also sorry for your friend, feathered.

My keyboard appears to be giving up the ghost - random letters keep getting missed, and then I have to go back and C&P them in! Very annoying.

Don't feel crap Tri, fingers crossed you are allowed home in no time and mini Tri will be right as rain. You are doing amazing, you pushed him out of your lady bits just three days ago! (Like you said!)

Stop press. Amazing preggo realisation ... I have NO leg or arm hair. Just realised my legs were Uncharacteristically smoothat pilates - it's gone! Please don't grow back!! Muff looking quite sparse too (I am a hairy beast usually).

Your SIL sounds like a right nob Feathered. At least it must make for exciting discussions once you leave the house - can you believe she said that, type of thing. Is DH supportive of you when it comes to her?

Gypsy baby outfits! Ha ha! You'll have to put them on for one comedy photo!!

tri don't be hard on yourself. You are absolutely doing the right thing and he will be fine. Lots of babies get jaundice and there are many reasons for weight loss in newborns... It is expected to lose up to 10% in the days following birth so I am sure it isn't hard to go over that. Has your milk come in yet? Can you speak to the lactation consultant for some advice on keeping up your supply if he's getting a bit of formula? Also, day 3 pp is when your hormones levels go screwy so part of what you are feeling is baby blues. It will pass in about a week and in the mean time you must cut yourself lots of slack! You have been through enough, do not beat yourself up too!

Don't feel crap, Tri. It's really common and you definitely haven't failed. Jaundice is normal, loads of babies need lights for it. It can make them sleepy so they don't feed so well, but they need the milk to help them clear it...it's a bit of a cycle but it will get broken with time. Your milk will come in, which helpfully will coincide with his maximal weight loss and your hormones at maximal swing. It's a bit of a shit time anyway, and some doc is telling you your baby is poorly - no wonder you feel rubbish. Express after each feed to remind your boobs what they are there for, then hopefully the top-ups can be breast milk rather than formula (if that what you'd like). Given 24 hours or so, I'd put a lot of money on everything looking different. Trust me, this is my day job

Sending lots of moral support Tri and as everyone has said, don't feel bad and it is really normal for babies to be jaundiced.

fruit take full advantage of the pregnancy hormones excuse to say exactly what you want to your SIL!!

Hope everyone is doing ok today.

It's so brilliant having your uber-qualified self on this thread Chat. Tri sending some [tea] and your way.

It's Fruit's SIL who's being the nob Pee - mine has just text me to say she's set up £50 of credit for me at my favourite local spa. She's younger than us and has always seemed a little immature. I think I'm going to have to stop thinking/saying that from now on - such a sweet thing for her to do, particularly so as she doesn't bring in a lot of £. I'm touched!

....and I'll tell you who else is a nob - this baby. After a day of almost complete non-movement yesterday, bar a few lame rolls, he/she's been beating me up today. Seriously. I'm close to trying to buy myself some medical grade scanning equipment to avoid nipping into the maternity ward every other day.

Oh I apologise to your SIL Feathered (and send sympathies to you Fruit)!

Feathered's SIL sounds a gem! Ooooh, what spa treatments are you going to have?! Tut to baby for playing non wriggle games.

I just watched a baby part nice from under my belly button to my left then all the way over to my right! Omg so freaking cool!

fruit gl with sil

feathered ur sil sounds ace!

chat we are so lucky to know you!

tri sorry your having to go through this but you are in the best place. I seem to remember a day 3 vs day 5 discussion when someone else had to go back in so seems like your getting the bestest earliest care.

Tri sending lots of good wishes, Chat is right. Please don't beat yourself up.

Viriods, I am panicking again, I'm having cramps that feel more periody than pregnanty and it is freaking me out. I am so up and down. The midwife is going to book me in early but epu can't scan til 8 weeks. I have a private scan booked for 7 weeks. That's if I get that far. I get the feeling the midwife thinks I'm pretty high risk. ARG. I wish I could sedate myself somehow. Writing it down does help a bit. Fuck fuck fuck.

fuzzy the private scan place is ultrasound-direct.com they seem to have clinics everywhere if you are having no luck with your epu.