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Original poster

The rainbow cave - where we can remember our angels and pray for our rainbow.

510 replies

3littlebadgers · 20/01/2016 07:30

Hello ladies, the other thread was full, so welcome to the rainbow cave. A place where we can hide away together as we remember our beautiful angel babies, and pray for our tiny rainbows.

Introducing myself and my babies for anyone new,

Name: 3littlebadgers
Angel: DD2, Azra stillborn at 40+5 March 2015
Rainbow: badger boy currently 36+1
Other DCs: ds1, ds2, dd1

OP posts:
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5
FoggyBlue · 30/03/2016 19:05

Glad your 16 week scan went well hopefully, that's reassuring! I found it quite reassuring to see our baby move so much at that scan, our last baby wasn't as active. I'm trying not to count the days to the 20 week scan and just concentrating on eating healthily and walking and being calm!

OwlinaTree · 30/03/2016 19:06

So glad the scan went well today hoping. It's always such a relief to have a good scan. I've got my 20 week scan tomorrow morning. I can feel the baby moving, so hopefully all is well. Will be good to know all is well from a professional though. How often are they scanning you? I've got 3 extra scans at (I think) 28, 32, and 36 weeks. So there will not be long to wait i suppose after this scan.

FoggyBlue · 30/03/2016 19:07

Hi ducky, congratulations! Hope the scan Friday clears dates up for you and that everything is as it's supposed to be at that point!

OwlinaTree · 30/03/2016 19:09

Tentative congratulations ducky, the scan will help I'm sure.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 30/03/2016 19:24

Glad all looked good at the scan hoping.

Congratulations ducky! That's great that you have a scan so soon. How are you feeling about it all?

duckyisback · 30/03/2016 19:39

When is your 20 week foggy?

I don't know why but I'm very very nervous. I suppose it's because I have no idea how far along I am but I suspect it's still very early (probably 6 weeksish).

I've also got this fear of it being a girl, sounds silly, but I know I can carry a boy now iyswim, whereas there was no reason for dd's stillbirth so I seem to have got it in my head I can't carry girls.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 30/03/2016 21:03

I don't think it's silly at all ducky. I think it's natural to look at the differences between pregnancies with good and bad outcomes and view them as being linked. Obviously most of the differences aren't linked but our minds don't work like that. I was worrying last week because I was drinking lucozade and the only other pregnancy I've drunk it in was the one where my baby died. And I always imagine my early miscarriages as having been boys because all my other pregnancies have been girls. I still can't make up my mind whether I want to find out the gender beforehand this time.

duckyisback · 30/03/2016 21:35

Thanks badly, I know it's probably not linked at all but I can't stop thinking.

I think the gender thing is difficult. In a way I wouldn't like to know as the stress I would cause myself if it was a girl, but at the same time I would love to know. I will cross that bridge when I come to it I suppose!

ChatEnOeuf · 30/03/2016 22:31

Hi Ducky and whispered congrats. I know your feeling - DD is here and well, DS was stillborn - if this one is a boy I don't know if I would like to know to prepare myself, or whether ignorance would be better.

Glad the scan went well, Hoping.

Good luck for your scan Owl.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 31/03/2016 15:58

Slightly freaked out by feeling more human today. It's so hard to remember but I think I started feeling better at this stage last time but I can't help worrying about whether it's a bad sign. Still don't know when my scan is. Much as I hate all the stress of scans I just want to have it so that I know either way.

OwlinaTree · 31/03/2016 20:39

Scan was good today, everything growing and looking good. What a relief.

OwlinaTree · 31/03/2016 20:40

How many weeks are you badly?

hopinghopefullyagain · 31/03/2016 21:51

Owl that's great news, I'm so pleased. Badly I feel your pain. I was posting here just a few weeks ago about not feeling sick any more. I ended up paying for a private scan to put my mind at rest. It was money well spent for me.
Your posts about gender are interesting - I've only had the one dd who.was stillborn.I've been totally convinced from the beginning of this pregnancy that the baby is a boy. We have named him and I'm not even considering that it could be a girl or a girl's name. I can be a bit headstrong and had thought it was just that but now I'm wondering if it's actually self preservation.

FoggyBlue · 01/04/2016 09:12

Hi ducky, I don't have a date for my 20 week scan yet, I'll probably get a letter this week. 18 weeks tmw and trying not to worry that I haven't felt movement, especially when you feel it earlier in the second pregnancy.

Great news about your 20 week scan Owlina!

I know what you all mean about the sex of the baby. I really struggled with that until I got to the 12 week scan, and since then I haven't had an issue (though that may be because I'm secretly convinced this baby is a boy!!) What annoys me is other people thinking we would be disappointed to have a boy when our baby who died was a girl. But I'll have to get over that!!

BadlyWrittenPoem · 01/04/2016 10:41

Glad your scan was good Owlina.

I think I'm about 10-11 weeks. I'm feeling worse again today so hoping that's a good sign! I've been tempted to have a private scan but I have three children at home with me (and they don't know we're expecting a baby) which makes the logistics difficult. Hopefully I'll get my NHS scan date soon.

duckyisback · 01/04/2016 15:11

Omg I posted the reply on the wrong thread Shock

Thank you chat

Glad the scan went well owl Smile
*
Foggy* I know it's impossible not to, but try not to worry about movement at this stage. I didn't feel ds move until quite late either.

Hope you get your date soon badly.

I have just got back from the hospital. They think I'm about 5 'and a half' weeks. There is no heartbeat yet but apparently there isn't until 6 weeks. I have to go back in two weeks to see if everything is ok. I must have got a positive pregnancy test at 3 weeks. I already feel I've been pregnant forever. I thought I was further on than that though as I did a few different brands of tests and they were all positive.

duckyisback · 01/04/2016 15:12

My bold keeps failing me Hmm

ChatEnOeuf · 07/04/2016 20:54

Finger crossed for next week Ducky.

Glad to hear everything looks okay Owl

I've had a rough couple of days. Heavy bleeding and disappearing symptoms, and I was away from home at the in-laws. Thankfully my local midwives and the hospital near the in laws were happy to talk to one another and get me in for a scan. Astonishingly, there's a little bean in there with a heartbeat, 7+4 but with a big area of bleeding around it so we're not out of the woods by any stretch. I'm resting up with the cat and desperately hoping this one sticks. It's terrifying.

OwlinaTree · 07/04/2016 22:34

Thanks chat, keeping fingers crossed for you. Sounds really scary. You keep resting as much as you can.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 08/04/2016 19:11

Thinking of you Chat. The uncertainty makes it so hard.

Still waiting on a scan date here.

earthmoon · 08/04/2016 21:25

Hi ladies,
Can I join this thread. All of you seem so supportive and kind. Last March I had a stillbirth with DS2. I'm a type 1 diabetic woman who was aware of stillbirth risk associated with diabetes (doctors have told me 1 in 4 pregnancy losses are experienced by diabetic ladies). I did do my best to improve our chances, and my diabetes control was excellent according to my diabetes team and I managed to avoid high readings. But his heart beat was not found during one normal diabetes appointment and he was born few days later after a very long induction at exactly 36weeks.
I know I'm a bit different to you ladies as I believe you were all low risk ladies with no warnings of possible bad outcome, the shock must have been worse for you. However, I still want to join this kind supportive thread. I'm now 13+2 weeks pregnant with DC3, according to my 12weeks scan that I had yesterday.

Thinking of you Chat and really hopping the bleeding stops soon

OwlinaTree · 08/04/2016 22:33

Welcome earth, and congratulations on your rainbow.

ChatEnOeuf · 08/04/2016 22:43

Welcome, Earth. Congratulations getting to your 12w milestone. I don't think because something is a possibility it means you're less shocked and devastated if it does occur, we're all members of the same horrid club no matter which door we came in.

Thanks for the hand holding. ISQ here, repeat scan on Weds to see what's happening.

duckyisback · 09/04/2016 01:36

Welcome earth and congratulations on your pregnancy. Will you be having extra care in place this time?

Chat so sorry to hear about your worry with the bleeding. Hope everything goes fine Wednesday Thanks

BadlyWrittenPoem · 09/04/2016 09:30

Congratulations on your pregnancy earth, I'm sure knowing you're higher risk doesn't change how hard it is even if it is less of a shock. x

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