Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Original poster

The rainbow cave - where we can remember our angels and pray for our rainbow.

510 replies

3littlebadgers · 20/01/2016 07:30

Hello ladies, the other thread was full, so welcome to the rainbow cave. A place where we can hide away together as we remember our beautiful angel babies, and pray for our tiny rainbows.

Introducing myself and my babies for anyone new,

Name: 3littlebadgers
Angel: DD2, Azra stillborn at 40+5 March 2015
Rainbow: badger boy currently 36+1
Other DCs: ds1, ds2, dd1

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
figsandalmonds · 07/03/2016 20:10

Oh Kitty I'm so so sorry. I'm really devastated for you.

I just wanted to come back to thank everyone for their enormously kind messages of support... it is so special to have this place to come to.

All my thoughts are with you Kitty xox

OwlinaTree · 07/03/2016 20:27

Kitty I'm so sorry, there are no words. I will be thinking of you.

hopinghopefullyagain · 07/03/2016 20:38

I can think of a few more words but I shan't use them in public! Why oh why oh why? It just does not make sense! Am still here for you, whether that's here or pm or email or whatever

KittyandTeal · 07/03/2016 21:00

Thank you. Why is the question I keep asking. It just doesn't make sense atm

hopinghopefullyagain · 07/03/2016 21:28

And the seeming only answer of 'just one of those things that happens with no explanation' is worse than useless

KittyandTeal · 08/03/2016 08:15

Yeah. Another case of 'just bad luck'. So shit.

hopinghopefullyagain · 08/03/2016 21:50

Beyond shit. I don't know how you are doing it. Because you have to, I suppose. There is no choice. 1 minute at a time I guess, doing whatever you need to to get by.

OwlinaTree · 10/03/2016 20:29

Just wanted to check in to say I'm still thinking of you kitty. Hope you are finding some peace.

ChatEnOeuf · 15/03/2016 11:08

Thinking of you, Kitty.

I have been a little reticent in posting here - through a combination of not wanting to post my own news while one of ours is going through such heartache, and my own fears. But the sticks don't lie, and if all goes well then DC3 will be welcomed in the autumn.

Chat: 34
Sunshine: DD (4)
Angel: DS, Sam. Stillborn at 36/40 in May '15. No official cause, but history points strongly to a massive foetal-maternal bleed.
Rainbow: EDD 17/11/16

OwlinaTree · 15/03/2016 22:46

Congratulations chat, lovely news. Do you know what additional care you will get this time?

I'm going to the consultant tomorrow morning, my first appointment with this pg, I'm almost 18 weeks. Bit nervous, hoping to see the same consultant again, she was great. Never felt she was trying to cover anything up after DD died and then delivered DS, so it would be nice if it was her.

Been really full on at work the last couple of weeks and then busy at weekends too so not much time to think about it all. Feel unprepared for this appointment tomorrow really, the weeks are going by so fast. I'm sure it will be fine. Annoyingly dh can't come, he's got too much on at work so that's a shame.

Hope you are OK kitty, still thinking of you.

ChatEnOeuf · 16/03/2016 08:41

Thanks, Owl. I'm not completely clear, as DS was born in Belgium, but we've moved back to the UK now. I emailed the consultant who looked after me when I had DD here (perk of working in the same hospital), and he's said he'll look after me, and that I'll have extra scans - probably 16w, then 28 and 32, but to see how things go. He reckons he can watch very carefully for placental function (DS was a little on the small side), and also for foetal-maternal bleeds. I trust him: having worked with him, he knows his stuff. I will also ask for extra MW appts, as if it's my first and I'm on aspirin, just in case it makes a difference.

I was always going to be consultant-led because of various medical conditions at my end. I want an induction between 34 and 35w, he would prefer I get to 36, but it depends on position: DD turned breech to head down at 34+, DS was a breech delivery. I don't want an elective section if I can help it as I probably can't have an epidural...so it's complicated. But it was always going to be :)

Good luck for your appt, hope all goes well.

OwlinaTree · 16/03/2016 19:56

Sounds like you've got a lot in place there chat.

Consultant went well, they recommended a c section straight away, and booked it there and then! Also having 3 extra scans to check growth as I did last time. I don't have to see the consultant after each scan, but they've booked the scans on the day of the consultant clinic so if there are any issues I will see the consultant on that day.

I am happy with that, so fx for an uneventful few months and all being OK. Does feel better knowing things are in place now.

hopinghopefullyagain · 23/03/2016 06:55

Hi chat and congratulations! So pleased to see you here - not sure whether you remember giving me some related information when I was pregnant with my dd who had T13?
I'm in the witching hour between scans at the moment. My scans are monthly and I'm fine for the 2 weeks after a scan then I start getting edgy before the next one. Not helped by seeming to be surrounded by pregnancy loss at the moment. On the positive side, my combined screening results are low risk. Considering they factor in my previous pregnancy, I think that's pretty good going.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 26/03/2016 08:21

Hi all, can I join you. I had a little girl who died at 21 weeks and was born a couple of weeks later (so officially a "missed miscarriage" but I hate that term which just doesn't accurately reflect what happened at all) and am now expecting what will hopefully be my third rainbow. For various reasons I found my second rainbow pregnancy much harder than my first. I'm feeling strangely calm at the moment but I'm also convinced we're going to go to a scan and find out something is wrong. I had by booking appointment yesterday with an independent midwife (which has reduced my stress a lot as we had a few problems with some of my NHS care) and I'm just waiting to get my first scan appointment through now.

hopinghopefullyagain · 26/03/2016 13:13

Hi badly and welcome. Please do join us, it's very quiet over here at the moment. Congratulations on your pregnancy, how far along are you? I'm in awe that you have survived all this with your second child and came back for your third. I'm also finding this pregnancy much harder than my first even though that was incredibly stressful from the T13 diagnosis at 21 weeks and still birth at 32 weeks. I coped with all that, probably because I was fighting the nhs for most of it. But I'm struggling a bit this time round. I'm convinced that there will be no heartbeat at the scan on Wednesday.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 26/03/2016 15:19

Thanks for the welcome hoping. I definitely think other difficulties are in a way helpful in terms of distracting from the worry. I was so busy surviving hyperemesis in my first rainbow pregnancy that I didn't have the same energy for worrying that I did last time. (Plus even though I knew I had less sickness because of the medication I was on last time the reduced sickness made me paranoid!)

I think I'm about eight or nine weeks.

I know what you mean about scans. I like the reassurance but I get so wound up beforehand.

FoggyBlue · 26/03/2016 19:08

Hi Badlywritten and Chat, and congratulations! I'm 17 weeks pregnant now, everything still looked as it should at the 16 week scan. Trying my best to remain optimistic and calm.

OwlinaTree · 26/03/2016 20:00

Hi badly, welcome and congratulations. I'm 19 weeks with my 2nd rainbow. In some ways it's harder this time, I look at my son andi just can't imagine losing another baby. In other ways it's easier, I'm so busy I don't have time to worry.

Was trying to get to sleep the other night and started thinking about when I was in hospital with my dd and everything that happened and it's still so vivid, despite it being over 3 and a half years ago. I think it's because they were the only days with my daughter, they are so strong.

Does anyone else have to stop themselves being over protective with their other children? I try not to be, but for eg ds had had a horrible cough and cold this week, so I've put his sleep alarm back on just on case, even though he's 2. He's definitely not a risk taker, not a big one for climbing etc, I worry I've been too over protective and that's why.

hopinghopefullyagain · 27/03/2016 08:03

Foggy that's great news about your scan, hope it bought you a little bit of peace. Owl, my angel was my first and this rainbow will hopefully be my second so I can't comment on being over protective. What I will say is that I'm much more aware of everything in this pregnancy and know I'm going to find it tough not to obsess over movement when it starts so I suspect I'd be just the same.

ChatEnOeuf · 27/03/2016 09:35

Glad your appointment went well Owl. I'm definitely more overprotective of DD. She's 4, and very capable, but I always seem to be imploring her to be careful! This might be normal, I'm not sure anymore.

Hi Badly, congratulations. We will be due near one another - I'm 6-7w now.

I remember, Hopefully. Glad to see you here too, I hope all goes smoothly this time.

Good news from your scan Foggy, fingers crossed it continues to look good.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 28/03/2016 13:33

Hi Owlina, I remember you from the Martians thread. Smile

I didn't become more overprotective of the child I already had but when my first rainbow was born I used to keep checking in the night that she was still breathing which I didn't with my eldest. Over time I've found the worry that one of my children might randomly die or have a freak accident has lessened.

OwlinaTree · 28/03/2016 14:04

Hi badly, that seems like a long time ago now, the Martians thread!

Yes, I have the worrying about random events and accidents.

OwlinaTree · 29/03/2016 19:59

Saw a beautiful rainbow today. Let's hope it brings us all some rainbow joy.

The rainbow cave - where we can remember our angels and pray for our rainbow.
hopinghopefullyagain · 30/03/2016 18:57

Owl that is a beautiful rainbow and our scan today did bring a bit of joy for us. Today, all looks to be ok. The views were very clear, our baby was bouncing about and waving. To get a scan report with measurements on the expected centiles and the words 'normal development' was a joy. We are by no means out of the woods yet and the next scan at 20 weeks is crucial. But today, at 16 weeks, all is well. How's everyone else doing?

duckyisback · 30/03/2016 19:04

Hi everyone.

Sorry I haven't been around much.

Hello to the new comers ThanksBrew

For those of you that don't know, I found out two weeks ago that I am pregnant again (dd stillborn Feb 14 and rainbow ds born Dec 14). I am terrified. It was a surprise.

I have no idea how many weeks I am as have v irregular af and didn't make note of my last one. I am going for a scan this Friday.

Sorry for the self centred post but my head is scrambled right now.

X

Swipe left for the next trending thread