February 2016 Halfway mark: Flutters into kicks into thwacks!

[haquoi123]

New thread, heeeeeeere we go!!

Had my flu jab yesterday at Boots. Slept on the arm last night. Owch. Have considered paying privately for one next year seeing as I'll have 3DCs that I'm in sole charge of.

In bed with DDs watching Aladdin, its absolutely pouring it down here, so we're having an "in" day Which basically means pjs all day and me catching up on cleaning because I've been a slattern!

My cousin is making his appearance today! Aunts c section is scheduled for 8am today, if no emergencies etc present in the mean time, so I'll be watching my phone for a text from DGM.

Midwife went well. Blood pressure good. Didn't listen for baby, or have a feel, or measure me. She phoned Peri Natal Psych who are in the process of moving buildings, and are so slammed they are apparently only seeing those who can't be managed by GP and my meds are very mild and very low dose in comparison, but given my history they'll take a look at my file and see what they think. I'm hoping they decide not to see me.

I've also been given the green light for a home birth!

haquoi look after yourself - glad you're feeling better & feeling lots of movements.

till good news re home birth!

I'm a FTM & not really thinking about birth?! Is this wise?! I know all the facts from friends... And figure it's inevitably got to come out one way or the other... Going to try & stay as relaxed & calm as possible (after reading hypnobirthing book) but not put any pressure on myself re pain relief as we all have different pain thresholds? Am I being stupid here? Should I have more of a plan?!

ratty Nope, I think that's the best way to view it!

Me too ratty there are so many variables and you don't know how you will feel or what way things will go, so a go with the flow approach is perfectly valid.

Obviously some people like to have a plan and that's what works for them in the run up to the birth. Some lucky women even get to stick to their plan!

Ratty I had an interesting discussion with some friends last week who said that actually, the labour bit was fine and you have 1-2-1 midwife care throughout it. The real shock was afterwards when the pap you up to the recovery ward with your new arrival and leave you to it! One midwife looking after 10 ladies all trying to breastfeed/change nappy/dress their baby for the first time. And having to shuffle down to the canteen for your tea whilst leaking blood from your hoo-haa and doubled over from your c-section if you had one! Their advice was - pay attention in the antenatal classes when they show you how to change nappies etc and have a practice if you can!

Confession time: the postnatal ward with DC1.

About 3 hours after delivering, I was on the ward. My Dad was visiting. DC1 was screaming. I remember sitting there dazed with horror, and wondering what the Hell I'd done. Dad asked: "Have you fed him yet?" I replied with an incredulous "Fed him?" I hadn't fed him. I hadn't even held him. Hadn't occurred to me to feed him. I started sobbing and my Dad had to fetch formula and feed him for me. I still remember that feeling 11 years on.

In my defence, the birth was incredibly traumatic and that moment was the start of severe PND and the PTSD rearing its head immediately.

However I have also had friends say they had a similar feeling after their first babies so it would seem to be quite common.

Labour ward, DC2. About an hour after birth I was in the shower. DD1 was with ExDP. She was in just a nappy as they'd been monitoring her. Midwife cheerily said "Ooh Daddy can get her dressed whilst Mumm has a shower." And left. I came out of the shower to find ExDP crying because he couldn't figure out how to get her dressed! Newborns tend to be very scrunched up and he didn't want to pull her arms/lege etc. She was also 5lb 2oz so looked smaller and more fragile than an average newborn. Its weird but I loved ExDP even more in that moment!

I'm 27 weeks today. Does that mean I'm into my third trimester? I'm never sure whether it's 27 or 28 weeks.

Hello everyone! Congrats on recent V-days- it's mine tomorrow, very excited

My best friend said something similar about being on the ward- she had a c-section and was numb from the waist down so couldn't really move, her husband had been sent home as visiting hours were over (think they're unlimited for fathers in our hospital, thank god), her baby was in a cot on the other side of the room- she was praying he'd stay asleep and not need anything cause she was terrified she wouldn't be able to get there or do it!

Ratty, think my birth plan is similar to yours- ideally xyz will happen, but if it doesn't then the important thing is that baby gets here ok

I wasn't interested in DS after the birth at all initially. All I knew was that I had been put through hours of excruciating pain, I hated every single health professional in there and swore at them all a lot. When one midwife told me I had to deliver the placenta now I nearly tore her head off and then told them all to fuck off out the room

I have a vivid memory of some grey, long limbed creature being pulled out of me and placed on me covered in snot. All I thought was FFS couldn't you clean it first. If it wasn't for my doula putting him on
boob I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have occurred to me to feed him.

I hadn't eaten for about 24 hours. My doula had to beg for me to be given a drink and some toast. I remember staggering to the shower with my legs covered in blood and my nightdress covered in blood and god knows what else. I looked like Carrie in the eighties horror film. There was no soap in there and I just laid against the wall for ages letting the water run off me. We were told to leave the hospital about an hour later with me holding the wall with each step and DP carrying DS in his car seat snd holding my other arm. I can remover sitting in the car wondering how I was going to look after a baby as I had never felt so ill in my life. I somehow slept in my bed with DS in the Moses basket alongside and in the morning I felt normal. It was genuinely one of the strangest experiences of my life.

whoknew Similar here. Traumatic forceps delivery (wasn't given gas and air for it let alone an epidural) after the ventouse had failed, I was cut several times and tore, then the Doctor twat stitched me up badly, I got local for that but I could feel everything being done and was physically jumping, she was yelling at me, made a midwife pin me down then half an hour later told me to get up and go for a shower. I slipped on my own blood, steadied myself, felt a popping sensation, looked down, blood everywhere, touched it with my hand and then passed out (the only time I have ever passed out in my life) woke up to see blood all over the wall, my stitches had burst and I had to be taken to theatre. Was shot up with morphine for that part, and then they gave me more painkillers by shoving them up my rectum.

I was utterly uninterested in DS for months. I cried constantly for the 72 hours they kept me in, refused to feed or change or hold him, buzzed a midwife to do it. Yet they didn't see that as a massive red flag

I don't remember much but my friend said the room looked like an abbatoir and I'd have been better giving birth in a backalley than there.

blimey post birth sounds scary!

masie my book says 26 weeks is 3rd tri, my app says 27 weeks and emails from baby center say 28 weeks. I'm going for the middle option, so yay for third tri!!!

arrow

I can't believe we're in/approaching the third trimester! It feels like the calm before a storm...

Sorry to hear those horrific experiences who and till

Thanks jelly I need something to cling on to to prove progress is being made! I'm a bit low as I can't get out for my usual walks with DS due to this back issue.

I might drive to Lidl later to cheer myself up!

arrow & whonknew your birth stories sound horrific and traumatising places fingers in ears

erm on a slightly lighter note, for those bidding on eBay I use this great website [www.goofbid.com] which bids for me in the last however many seconds. I've won some bargains doing this :)

It does make me wonder why the hell I'm hoping for another VBAC!!! Maybe it's because this time I'm hoping it will be a wonderful experience lol.

Instead of obsessing about flannels for my hospital bag I will be putting the contents of the fridge in there instead. Take food people, the hospitals don't seem to be very forthcoming in that department and man you will come out the other side dying for a sandwich.

Things going that tits up, are, thankfully, incredibly rare. However at that particular hospital, I know of 3 other Mums/babies who had horrific births and sadly 2 of the babies didn't survive including DHs son. Coroner was adamant his birth and subsequent infection was a major contributer in his death.

Post natal with DC2 I went into Patient Hotel, with a proper double bed and a proper sofa, 9-9 visiting hours, ExDP was allowed to stay 24/7, it was awesome.

After DC3, I was having a lovely shower within an hour of giving birth, the junior doctor who'd been with the midwife who was with me fetched me tea and toast, and then I went up to the ward into my private room with ExDP in tow (it was 5am so they let him stay), he got in my bed whilst I sat on the comfy chair breastfeeding DD and watching some random shite on the TV Was bliss! Couldn't go to Patient Hotel again as BP was high, but the privately room on the ward was fab.

Am I being waaaay to forward in planning my hospital bag already? I want to pack it up even though i'm only 27 weeks!!!

jelly I don't think so - I'm 27+2 and would have made a start on mine by now except all my stuff is in my parent's attic and I'm waiting to see if I'll find out where I'll be living in the next week or two. We're still in housing limbo here and I'm hating every moment of it Everything feels so out of my control.

All is well with me otherwise - I had the flu vaccine this morning and I need to arrange the pertussis one with my GP for next week or the week after. I also have 2 hospital appointments next week - my 28 week check-up and the anti-D clinic (so another injection)! Things are really starting to kick-off now as I'll be on fortnightly appointments from next week on and then weekly from 36 weeks. The time is going to fly by and it's freaking me out! I've booked 2 full weeks off work over Christmas and then I'm only back for a week before I start maternity leave at 38 weeks!

Definitely sensible to pack a bag! I was caught out when I was admitted for 3 days at 26 weeks with DC2 and then again at 28 weeks for a whole fortnight! Packed at 25 weeks with DC3, just in case, but didn't need it till 37 weeks when I had a brief 2 night stay. Hopefully I won't need it at all this time, but I'm heading to Primark to buy a bag and some cheap joggers/tshirts/pants/socks and travel sized toiletries next week.

Currently trying to figure out what to do for homebirth as I've not even bothered looking as I was sure I'd get a flat no, but MW said she's had women on reems of meds have home births with no issues, and they'll come twice a day if they feel baby needs monitoring. Advice so far seems to be cheap shower curtains and old duvets to line the floor with! I really want a birthing pool though.

Youngest DD: "Mummy, what are those patterns on your belly? Is the baby making them? They weren't there before."

arrow you can hire a birthing pool!

here's what NCT says: www.nct.org.uk/birth/arranging-use-birth-pool

till bless her!!

i might get started on my bag soon then!

Oh my god! Some awful post birth stories there! You poor things - I really hope they are a rarity as that is just not on.

Glad I'm not alone in my approach to birth... We shall see!

I have heard the same things re post labour wards, think you are just left to your own devices.

A weird (!) fear of mine at the moment is that I won't love my baby... does that sound weird? I know I will but also know for some it's not immediate & I think that will scare me.

I didn't love DS immediately. By day 2 I think I did. I sort of made a pact with myself that I just would accept that I no longer slept. I know that sounds mad but I can remember on day 2 my Mum came up to help out and she and DP went up to sleep at about 11pm and just left me downstairs with DS.

He was crying constantly and was breast feeding through the night and I can remember sitting downstairs on my own looking at this pink screaming thing wondering what I was meant to do. I was so tired and so scared and so I decided that I no longer slept and that was ok. Obviously I did sleep again at some point lol but it took me to just make that decision to calm down and eventually we co slept and I managed to get some semblance of sleep at night.

I have heard that those suffering from PND can initially find it takes longer to bond but I honestly think that most of us don't get the overwhelming rush of love from the get go. You're almost too shocked at first to really feel much aside from utterly knackered.