February 2016 Babies - The time for scans is fast approaching!

[jellypi3]

Stats here :) docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dWmvdD9SkvPQqKn7rpFHazgufmda2FOTMtL093cZFj8/htmlview

Yay noodle was thinking about you today, so pleased bean is all good!

Hate to break it to you but my rib cage did not go back down after having DD (boobs did though)

Lots to catch up on!

Welcome newbies & great to hear of more lovely scan news.

Thanks for explaining the rib cage thing, I didn't know that!

pog re work I'd be honest and open and take things from there? Hopefully with your boss being female & having a family that will help.

Hope all those not sleeping well get a good night kip. I'm hoping I do! Night ladies x

Cheers Ratty- tbh keeping a secret is a extra pressure I'll be glad to lose

My ribs are huge anyway! My mum says I'm built like a barrel....

Those pillow look amazing!

Jelly, Noodle and Surrey, lovely pics! Welcome newbies

Booking in appointment this afternoon, hopefully this will make it all seem more real- it's all a bit dreamlike so far at 9+3...

Good morning everyone,

Does anyone else have 1/2 really good hours in the morning where they feel tip-top, then it starts to slowly decline over the day until in the evening your mouth feels yucky, your tummy is swirling and you're an exhausted mess? It's a shame I'm at work those couple of hours!

Haquoi - that article reminds me of a sketch by the late comedian Bill Hicks where he talks about procreation and he mimics pretty much the technique of that article. Dark, but funny....

Yeah got to see bub yesterday at 12 weeks, all is doing well, phew!

Lovely pic Rising - yep Clara that's exactly how I feel every day!!

That's a great pic StillRising, congratulations

Some really lovely looking scan pictures. The change from bean to baby in such a short time is phenomenal.

I will be so glad to share but I am waiting until we have harmony results and 12 week scan which isn't until I am 13+3. I have a viability scan tomorrow which they do before taking Harmony bloods (I guess to make sure that there is a purpose for taking them).

clara yes! I feel great first thing but by the evening I feel so sick and want to curl up in a little ball. I'm 13 weeks so naively thought it would be better by now!

Long post, sorry in advance.

I had a chat with my mum about my weight last night as it is starting to really worry me. I was a size 8 and exercised every morning before getting pregnant. I haven't done any exercise in 6 weeks until this morning. Did some squats, sit ups and arm exercise. Feeling ok but had some cramps afterwards and not sure if that is uterus or abdominal muscles causing the pain. I'm not going to cope getting fat, everyone in my family has an eating disorder except me (even my dad had anorexia before he died) but I don't have a normal relationship with food or with perception of my body due to my mum's very negative criticism, which is because of her own body hang ups. Whenever I get stressed I use food as a control measure, dieting and losing weight lets me feel like I have some control in my life when everything around me is going wrong. At the moment I am stressed to the max!!! I'm trying to sell my house, have a massive building project at the new house site, budget deficits for the building work and the company I work for is in dire straights and I might not have a job soon. I'm sitting with a roll of fat under my boobs over my ribs and it is all I can concentrate on and is making me miserable. Someone on my FB posted a pic of her tummy at 12wks, 20wks and 30wks. She still had a six pack at 12wks. There are pics of celebrities at 5mths with not an ounce of extra fat on them. There was a woman at the wedding on the weekend who was 7mths and skinnier then I am now. It makes me feel like a failure! I told myself I would never eat for 2 but that is exactly what I have been doing. I guess I've gotten to the point today that I've seen the damage I've already done to myself and I'm panicking how I'm going to get through the next 6 months and just how fat I'm going to get and what permanent effects it is going to have. DH keeps telling me it doesn't matter and that I'm pregnant so just go with it, he knows how stressed I am and very helpfully keeps telling my to stop stressing that it isn't good for the baby. I'm also worried about my Panorama results which I won't get till Friday. I just need all the external stress in my life to stop, everything always seems to be an uphill battle, nothing is ever straightforward or easy.

Sorry for the long self absorbed post but I'm struggling today and I needed to tell someone how I was really feeling.

rufus im sorry i have no real advice but for you it must be awful to have that stress on top of everything else.

is the nausea making it hard for you to eat decent food too?

all i can say is its a fact that most celebrity pregnancies are heavily photoshopped and are funded by expensive and well trained stylists and very expensive clothes so dont compare yourself to them - its pretty disgusting that celeb culture, as if pregnant women need more reasons to feel guilty!

be kind to yourself and try to remember, as you've pointed out, that those thoughts are irrational - or at least based on a skewed perception of your body image and not how other people see you

Rufus, I think it's important to remember what a bloody amazing job our bodies are doing by growing another freaking human in there. It's pretty magical! For me that makes the whole temporarily-losing-my shape-and-sort-of-part-of-my-identity thing pale in comparison.

I understand the disordered thinking about size and food, I really do. But what's happening on the outside is nowhere near as important or exciting as what's happening inside, and that has to take precedence, at least for now. Hugs!

Just adding weight (no pun intended) to what others have said Rufus, I'm sad to read that your past relationship with food & exercise has been tough, but I hope you can learn to accept that some elements of pregnancy will be outside of your control, and to 'go with it' when you can. Also, and I hope I'm not intruding too much here, is your mum the best person for you to speak to about your concerns, given that she is part of the overall picture? Is there anyone outside of your family that you could talk to (a friend or your midwife)?

On a general level, I wonder whether it is harder for women nowadays to adjust to becoming pregnant and having children, due to (i) generally being older first time mums (and therefore having spent more of their life on their 'own terms') and (ii) as primary alluded to, a bombardment of media telling us what we should and shouldn't be doing/feeling/thinking when we are pregnant.

rufus it really sounds like you're having a hard time, I'm so sorry to read that. I think the advice above is top notch. Also, remembering what the weight gain is made of - water retention and bloating - is important. It's not you being gluttonous. Your body is telling you what you need and you're following that. That's more important for the baby than to look good. Also, by the time we get to 9 months our bodies are expending the same energy it would take to run 3 marathons a day! It's not in any way giving up and getting lazy! Is it worth talking to someone, counselling just to help you find a peaceful place in your life?

I saw my baby today, kicking and showing us her (I've chosen a pronoun, I don't know the sex) bum. She was beautiful. I feel like even if I don't get to meet her alive that that scan was a great time to see her. 11+2. Storing all the memories just in case. Not my dating scan but my consultant was amazing when I rang up stressing and did a training session on me in return for a scan.

Thank you ladies for the support. I know my mum isn't good to talk to about my weight but I work with her so see her most days and she can't help herself but comment! There is no point in even asking her to stop as with have had massive falling outs over it in the past, she just doesn't see the damage she does with her comments. With DH I struggle to believe him when he says he is ok with my weight gain, he himself has been very critical of me in the past when I gained weight and he cheated on me then with his ex! I am the 1st relationship that he has ever had that doesn't go and stick her fingers down her throat after every meal.

I took myself for a walk and gave myself a talking to. I am so grateful just to be pregnant after having to take Clomid to get here. I just need to make better food choices and try and portion control a bit more. I really didn't need to eat the slab of blueberry cheesecake at 10pm last night, that then spent most of the night keeping me awake with terrible indigestion and nausea.

haquoi that's a wonderful scan pic. Congratulations

rufus what can I add that others haven't already said. This is a time when your body really isn't your own. With DS, last year, I couldn't stop eating, I needed to eat constantly or I felt ill or on the verge of fainting. I didn't have that with my first pregnancy and I haven't really got it this time either- although I'm still eating a lot! Try not to batter yourself for not having willpower because it's not the type of hunger that willpower can overcome. It's your body telling you that this is what it needs for this pregnancy. Your weight might plateau for a while in the second trimester or it might increase at a slower rate. In any case, you can and will lose it all after the birth and when you are ready .

In my last pregnancy I stressed about the weight gain and felt awful about every pound I gained. Total gain was near 3 stone by 38 weeks, when I delivered. Afterwards, I lost it all and more, becoming effortlessly the skinniest I've ever been. This rendered all weight stress pointless and I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy, eat what I need to eat, try not to bother with scales and have faith that I'll lose it all one day!!

So lovely to see more scans, congrats everybody.

Rufus, sorry to hear you're struggling, it is hard feeling as though you're losing control of yourself. Honesty though I did find that the excess weight came off really quickly after my last pregnancy (and I ate like a pig throughout it!) as fox said, just walking every day really helps.

I've been having a few pains today, hope it's just due to the ridiculously heavy box I accidentally picked up and ended carrying quite a long way. Oops!

Been looking at all the pregnancy pillows on the site someone linked above, really want one but feeling really indecisive today - any recommendations? Thought the cozy cuddler looked good because I like the name but think I'd probably end up wrestling with it in the idle of the night!

rufus I'm so sorry to hear you having a hard time. The ladies have been spot on - all I can suggest is to try and remember your body is growing a new life, it's the most incredible and wondrous thing any of us can do. Try and be gentle with yourself. We are all here for you.

Lovely scan pics haquoi and rising - they are becoming more like babies and less like beans every day!

Haquoi, your consultant sounds great and how lovely for you to see your little one wiggling away.

Rufus, get yourself into some maternity clothes. They really help to show off your bump while leaving the rest of you looking normal. They really help with looking pregnant instead of just a little bloaty. And if your mum makes negative comments then ask her if she's a qualified midwife.

Rufus I can really empathise- when I moan about my new shape (of an egg so it seems...) those that know all go 'oh but you're pregnant/it doesn't matter etc'. I still have a sense of my own body image though and want to feel pretty, even though I know this is a beautiful special time...

I'm hoping when its more of a bump I'll feel better but just so you know you aren't the only one and you don't need a difficult history with food to struggle with this, hope that helps x

Not caught up yet but wanted to post this. I'm so happy . I'm 11+2 and due 8/2/16

Congrats on all the scan pics :)

rufus for you x