December - yet another final thread!

[Loulou000]

The last one was getting too long again. There's just no stopping us!

Thanks for all your advice, will get more bits of shopping when I finish work next week (hurray)!
Loved the laughing baby, but now I am all achy from laughing for so long.

Hi everyone, hope it's been a good weekend. We had quite a strange one staying with friends who have very odd (IMHO) parenting skills!

Awww, AQ, I know how you feel, I was like this too about arrival of no.2. I used to worry that I wouldn't have enough love to go around etc etc especially with my PND/depression. Honestly though, it was hard when no.2 arrived but nothing has changed in my relationship with no.1 and they are equally loved. I've never been so happy and my DCs just get better and better each day. I fully expect it to be hard with no.3 but I know how it all turns out in the end .

Re homeopathic stuff (yes, it was me) you can get pulsatilla/sepia etc at boots or holland & barrett. Also a brilliant website is www.herbanaturelle.com. I'd recommend seeing a homeopath too. £30 for an hour consultation down here and better than seeing a shrink. It was a life saver for me!

Thanks, Castles. When I go on mat.leave I shall sort out the homeopathic stuff & if depression rears ugly head again I know of a homeopath nearby as I wld much rather avoid anti-d's this time.
Have spent much of weekend crying about all of this 2nd child stuff, think I ought never to have bought/read the book quite frankly although there is some useful advice in there. Shall try & be more optimistic about the whole situation. Did you suffer with pnd when both your dc's born?

AQ, we do have so much in common. It took me so long to bond with ds due to the PND that I too hate to think of anything disrupting that. On the flip side, I have bonded so strongly with this baby already that it sometimes makes me feel guilty toward ds, as if I failed him in some way even when he was in utero . Silly in some ways, I know. Probaby only those who have had PND would understand.

Had baby shower today and we did my belly cast this evening. Both were so much fun! You all really should give the belly casting a try. I've been up too late already looking at various things on the internet for decorating ideas. I think we are going to do an Egyptian inspired pattern on this one.

Morning everyone. Last wek of work for me - hurrah! DH intoned all the way in the car - "remember how crap it gets -last week, last week"

AQ, I feel totally the same as you and am worried about DD's feelings and how she will cope. have started trying to tell her it will be okay to feel a bit angry or jealous, mummy and daddy still love you etc etc. But somehow I don't think at 3 years old she even understands what jealousy is so is probably a waisted discussion, but I will persist.

Found another nice legless bodysuit yesterday in ASDA. With poppers to the side and actually closed at the bottom like an envelope. DH has now asked me to stop buying things in neutral as when we know what it is we'll have no room for colours - even though I already have all the pink .

The name debate goes on with us having a girls name we like for a week and no boys name then vice versa.

Just had to add, have also bought a chair/bed i IKEA yesterday so now DH can be relocated to nursery while baby and me sleep in our room when he goes back to work. Was quite impressed as they are really hard to find - not even in IKEA catalogue! And the cheapest I had seen was e-bay for £40 including P&P, made new. IKEA one cost £29, and meant I could buy other pointless things while in thier like anothe rmobile for babies room and felt pans with stampers on for DD :-) And DH found his fav Cinammon rolles in the food market afterwards.

Aargh, just posted longish post that got eaten!
Right: promise to myself not to mention either sleep or itching today.

AQ, what is the book you read, if you do'nt mind me asking? I'm torn between wanting to read it too, and not wanting to! Also have some anxiety about bond with dd, and transition from one to two...probably very normal for both of us; but just as you are bound to have extra feelings due to the PND last time, I have some due to long complicated journey it took to have dd. We have a strong bond, but it took me a while to trust it, and trust myself.

Also, she's waking up 3-4 times per night recently, which is unheard of for her - and wanting me to re-settle her. She does have a cold, and has had an unusual amount of excitement (Halloween, then fireworks - never seen her so excited! - then yesterday her very early birthday teaparty) not to mention sugar. And yet...I do wonder if she feels the impending change/separation too. Or maybe thats just me!

I'm also very excited...can't believe its just over two weeks till I meet Bump (who wriggles and kicks like a trouper all night, probably trying to turn, but is still a tranny...).

Hope everyone is ok, especially 'our' new babies

I think we all sound quite similar in our doubts & fears us 2nd timers, AQ & Jabber especially. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. Jabber you haven't failed your DS at all. Your DS knows how much you love him now and that is what matters. No.1 might feel a bit put out by arrival of no.2 but it doesn't last long. My DS absolutely LOVES having his little sister (plus another to come) and I wouldn't say his confidence in my affection for him has been knocked at all. There are too many plus points in having a sibling for him: someone to play with, boss around, beat up ... Honestly, don't worry, it does feel strange for a while but it is just great too.

On the PND front: AQ, I didn't have it with no.1 (just baby blues for a bit). Had it for about 9 months with no.2 until I got "seen to". I'm totally prepared for it to rear its EFFING (sorry but it is such a pita) UGLY head again. This time I have you all to talk to - remember that won't you, we must do post-natal chats too & I will get help asap if it feels bad.

Eli, I might have a Doula. Thanks for your recommendation

Eli, I think you might be right about your DD sensing an impending change which is affecting her sleep. Mine were a bit bothered when I started to show. Also now that DS is at school he often wakes up in the night and comes into bed with me. They do settle down. I'm hoping mine do anyway or it will be a bit crowded in our bed after 6th December ...

Morning all- I can also sympahise with the worries about not failing the older one when the new one arrives. Have been feeling really soppy over him and can't stop cuddling him etc and am sure its because I know (he doesn't really understand) whats coming and that his cosy little cocoon is going to be pretty disrupted for a while. sigh...but I do know he'll love having a little brother in the long term. God, why do we put so much guilt on ourselves?!
Someone mentioned further down about baby boucing on cervix- I have this too- lots of sharp twinges and a sort of sink plunger feeling! Not sure what this means- any ideas? I haven';t seen a midwife for weeks and weeks so have no idea what this might mean. Also, at the risk of giving TMI, a few times when I have gone to the toilet for a number 2, I have felt this very odd bulging sensation and on one occassion actually got a mirror as thought the baby was coming out. Of course its not, but I NEVER had this odd feeling with DS1 and it is quite alarming...any thoughts ideas??! Sorry, if I put you off your morning coffee

eLI - mY dd (2.9) has been sleeping badly for about a month which is unheard of for her. It can be anything from losing her teddy, or duvet, to just wanted a cuddle. Once or twice a night at the moment. Adds to tiredness

I too am feeling really soppy towards DD, I just keep telling her how much I love her and how gorgeous she is etc.

Meant to say, bang on 35 weeks my bump either really dropped or has gone tranny - I dont look or feel wide enough for tranny and still have sensation of feet under ribs, but after dropping on Friday the main bulk of my bump dropped even lower on Saturday. MW today to confirm what's going on. Wont cancel the OB appointment just yet then.

Another one worried about PND, had it really badly with DD and I didnt bond till she was nearly 1.5 and I really don't want to loose that time with number 2, also worried how PND will affect how I am with her.

Have started mild AND at the moment as well, which is worrying as it means I am more likely to get PND again.

Am hoping that being prepared, using Accupuncture, getting help straight away etc... will mean it is a totally different thing from last time even if it does start.

My DD can pretty much do no wrong at the moment and she told my DH this morning that the baby was kicking me so much because it was time to come out hopefully not for a few more weeks though as am nowhere near ready!

Though I think I will pack Hopsital bag this afternoon now

For those of you who have had PND, did you take anything while BFing? What did the doctors recommend you did-did they prescribe anything?

Feel much better for the reassurances and identification, thank you gang. Yes, definitely, lets do plenty of postnatal (half asleep) chatting!

Am going to go and collect unsettled dd from pre-school, which seems to be one place which is sublimely unchanged and settled for her

WB and VM, I still am wondering if you two will be seeing some action before me.....!

I choose to go down the drug free route, but I know that they do prescribe and would have prescribed me AD's while you are breastfeeding.

One plus side for me of Accupuncture is I know it doesnt affect my milk

(But I am just funny about AD's at any time, have never taken any and never will)

At the risk of sounding horrible, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way, more reassuring that it's quite normal. I do feel incredibly affectionate & loving towards ds lately, can't stop cuddling him & everytime we do something lovely together I wonder what it will be like when ds2 is around. Not having PND I think wld make all the difference to whether I cope ok or not. I never had anti-d's whilst b/feeding but believe there are some you can use? Agree with castles too that it's of enormous comfort to know you're all here if things get bad!
I feel that there's an enormous pressure on mothers to 'bond' with their babies in-utero & then as soon as their born & it's obvious that's not true for many of us, which just makes us feel guilty & crap. All based I think on some research in the 70's about 'bonding', which has no doubt been thoroughly disproved. Neither my mum, dp nor friends really believe me when I say I didn't bond at all with ds until 3 months, or in a real sense until 18 months. I would have guarded him with my life of course, but not with the love I feel now.

Elibean & anyone else, the book is Three Shoes, One Sock and No Hairbrush: Everything You Need To Know About Having Your Second Child (Rebecca
Abrams).

Be warned though, it definitely comes down on the negative side & there's not a lot about the wonders of siblings etc. Might be one for reading after the birth really (as with Life After Birth by Kate Figes & What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen, which is the best book ever about being a mum & incredibly uplifing, must get it back from my friend!).

AQ, I took AD's while bfing when ds was 6 to 13 mos. It was fine for him and literally a lifesaver for me. I have successfully weaned down to just one tablet every 3 days or so, but am preparing myself to go back up if I have to.

Eli, another unsettled sleeper here. I've been wondering if it's the anticipation of change, however sublimal, that's causing it.

VM, we are doing something similar with sleeping arrangements. I am planning to sleep on the daybed in the nursery downstairs with lo while ds stays upstairs in our bedroom next door to ds's. Our new bedroom downstairs won't be finished for a while it appears so we're just going to have to make do. Ds could move into his new room but I couldn't deal with being downstairs with both of them!

Well, I've gone from DC's unsettled sleeping to being unsettled during day too. The last few times I've collected DS from school he's been in a rage about not being let out 1st and last two times he has hit pupil let out in front of him . Also, DD has been shrieking when we go out but fine at home. Wonder if my pre & post birth anxieties are rubbing off on them subliminally as I don't talk about it, except on here. Talk about naval-gazing!!

I know there is prescribed stuff you can take for PND whilst b'feeding but not sure what. All homeopathic remedies are safe.

Has anyone got anything to say to cheer me up? Feel like I'm having a c**p day today

well I've just got back from a sprint around town as trying desperately to get all my xmas shopping done- only a few things left to get. Finding it more knackering so feel like its a race against the clock before I can';t be bothered all together and just send everyone vouchers! That said, I did buy my very difficult Grandma a cow for xmas via Oxfam made me feel better even if the irony will be lost on her . Now just need to find an advent calendar for DS1 (where the hell do you get non-chocolate ones from??) and a few bits and bobs for DH and I'm done. BTW whoever was asking about paper knickers, I would say don't bother- they are uncomfort6able and for the money you might as well go and get a multipack of cheap cotton ones which word out about £1 each. Thats what I've just done anyway

Oh and my DS1 seems very clingy and waking up early so maybe they can all sense the impending changes?!

My childminder is into lots of esoteric things and said she was going to ask her crystal this weekend whether my baby would be late or early- forgot to ask her the result this morning, so am dying to find out tonight when I pick him up...

sorry-last post- I am trying to get a sling that I can also breast feed in. My friend is lending me her Karri-Me but a lot of people on the reviews have said that they found it impossible to breast feed using it. The sling easy one is the one recommended by this site. Anywone got any tips on a sling that they were able to use for breasfeeding as am figuring it'll free me up to do more stuff with DS1 if I can wander around about whilst feeding DS2

Castles, dd also gone to unsettled during day...nursery said she cried and asked them to phone me at 9.30 (having bounced in fifteen minutes earlier) and was generally not her usual happy self, though they managed to distract her. She IS tired, and has a nasty cough, but...when I asked her, she said she 'just wanted Mummy' She's been happy as anything since getting home though - and I got lots of cuddles!

I hate the thought of being away from her for five days, or possibly more (my bp went up scarily a week postpartum last time, they may be cautious with me this time). Any tips from second timers who had sections??

OK: sounds like pre-birth anxieties are surfacing all round - not a bad thing! Get 'em out, get 'em talked about, then we can all move on to excitement and that dreadful/wonderful frustration of JUST GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME that comes at the very end...

I still don't really believe I'm having one, tbh. My friend has a 3 week old baby, and she still doesn't believe it either...I do sort of remember that disbelief from last time...

judemum, my bf gave me her old sling - not sure of make, will check it out. She used it for feeding lots - I find it a bit big and overly padded, but then I'm small and small framed. Am wondering whether to get a different one or wait...

And Castles, ((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))
plus a cyber slice of dd's mega chocolate cake (with straaaawberries and decowaaaations) in the hope it will improve your day. Though you'd best get some of the real stuff for ds