Calmly and regally gestating our beans in a land of obsessive ILs, placenta horticulture, sweary doctors and naked pancake cravings. It's the JS grads thread 23!

[LaLaLaaaa]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 23rd grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 40th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

The stats sheet is here

So, roll call below please, viroids!

lemon I totally had them when I was younger! Dr said it was remains of my hymen. Had them surgically removed - I like to say that 'officially' I lost my virginity to a female surgeon!

snort at that thread lemon

We have proper Bakewell pudding for tomorrow and may have already had some today in a tea shop yum!

I am at my MIL's house. She made a dozen hot cross buns.

I have eaten 4

Anyone else constantly starving hungry?!?

I am also constantly starving. Unfortunately I was at my peak fatness (you know the point you get to when it's hardcore diet time until you've lost a stone and then put it all back on again etc etc) when I became upduffed and as a result I can barely fit into any of my clothes. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and had to use a hair bobble on my jeans buttons yesterday - and I know it can't even be baby at this stage! I swear I've grown an actual food baby bump this weekend and I'm scared my work trousers aren't going to fasten when I next put them on!

We went to do a healthy food shop today though and I've cooked quinoa to take for work lunches, oh yes. Let's just not talk about the fact that we ordered Chinese as the last fatty bum bum supper despite the fridge full of healthy goodies

I became a fat bastard in my first tri and am only feeling healthier and better since passing the 12 week stage. I think it's pretty common to become a pumba when you first get upduffed

I did! I piled it on to start with too, plus I think I was holding a shitload of water so the bloating didn't help the fatness. I've put on 7kg so far, most of it has gone on bum and face, and most of it I out on in the first 16 weeks (28 weeks now)
I don't have foof tonsils. In fact, I can't even see my fucking foof any more :( I also seem to have a linea Nigra as well which Mr tee helpfully pointed out looks like a long thin skid mark. He's offered to gillette my lady parts as I could basically amputate my clit.

Thanks for the reassurance that it's. normal to become a fatty indigo Hubby has just been stroking my belly telling me he thinks it's the baby and I'm just telling him it's most definitely the Chinese I just ate as well as the full English I ate this morning after the full English I ate yesterday and 3 course meal I ate last night. And the similar amounts of food I've been eating every day for the past few weeks. Maybe I should just go with it and let him think it's baby so I don't have to feel so weird about him celebrating my impending obesity.

Haha tee that did make me lol!

I couldn't tell you how fat I am as I have avoided the scales! Midwife next week though so I guess I will find out the . Uh oh. I would totally guzzle 4 hot cross buns today though fleur!

Furniture decisions will be partly down to space bat but the cot vs cot bed thing is the first one probably. Everything else isn't necessary to have baby stuff she says with no experience of having a baby we have a cot top changing table so just slips under the bed when not being used. Normal wardrobes, drawers and sofa that was in the room already.

Would you hire a pool or anything indigo and lemon?

So, turns out I am in a MIL dispute. I suspected I might be and today it has been confirmed by BIL. All because I don't want her to buy stuff. I get that she is excited and I am happy about that but she keeps telling me she's looking at stuff and has bought stuff - like we get no choice in the matter and our opinion doesn't matter. When I said anything her answer was 'you do t have to use it'. It's secretly wound me up most of the week, so then I cried about the Hoover breaking.

Still, not as serious as you MIL stuff tee, you're in a really tough position. Can you just tell her as early as possible that you don't want the baby in a smokey house? She might make the change or if you you have some weeks to fight about it! And win of course, because you are right!

Ah Dulcet she's an idiot if she's happy to buy stuff you're not going to use! People are mad. I am currently in a cease-fire with my MIL and not looking forward to telling her how this baby is going to be raised...she's not going to agree with any of it!

Yes, definitely hiring a poo.

Speaking of being fat, DH and I have just sacked off making a nice meal for dinner (I was marinading salmon) and gone to Aldi to spend £15 on brown food instead. Currently cooking chicken strips, potato croquettes and scampi

Oh god! I am NOT hiring a poo! I have plenty of my own I am hiring a P O O L. Note the L.

I'm a very placid wouldn't say boo to a goose person, Tee, but smoke near my baby is one thing I would shout and stamp about. My mother's partner was forced to stop, as I said I wouldn't visit their house unless he did.

I'm starving today! Not done loads but physically shaking and feeling all peculiar. Trying to snack healthily but actually just want crisps or toast or something...

Dulcet I do that. Hold in the rage and frustration about the really important stuff, then cry over tiny things. Not belittling the hoover issue, I'm guessing it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

My friend delivered yesterday! She was due today, so lovely news. She shares my obstetrician and tells me he was fantastic :)

Hahahaha Lemon

Haha Lemon

Dulcet your MiL sounds like a fruit loop to buy stuff you don't want. Have you tried telling her what you do want? I've set up a baby wish list on Amazon and used the Amazon toolbar to add things from mothercare and mamas and papas.

We made it as far as the arc de triomphe and I couldn't face the steps then came back for a nap and slept most of the afternoon.
DH reckons we walked 4 miles and I usually only walk to the car! We were overtaken a lot though. I need to walk more.

Been to Pizza Hut for tea, not very Parisian I know but I was craving pizza. Now back in the room on respective iPads! We are so rock n roll!

Plan for tomorrow is sacre coeur then Eiffel Tower then Luxembourg gardens. Possible the monmartre observatory... I'll have to fit a nap in there too!

Yo yo yo! Howdy gang! How are we all?

Been bit of a manic week but today has been bliss. No plans so just been chilling out with Mr La and the cats. Cleaned kitchen top to bottom including oven (does this get me a thumbs up from gaggia?) and even sorted through my vast jewellery mess collection, cleaned it all and packaged up tonnes for charity shop. Rest is neatly organised in my boxes

Mil coming to stay thurs - she sent her list ahead of stuff for us to buy as she always does:

Bottle vodka
4 x bottles white wine
Bottle red wine
De caffeinated coke

She's staying 3 nights! tee you're not the only one with odd mil! I've so already had the 'ooh it'll be very cramped for nursery in your spare room' comment. Yes I know it's not large but it's all we have!!! So expect me to be very wound up next weekend!

How you doing lauren? Lovely to hear his tubes are coming out!

purple I'm well jel! Love love love Paris!!! Have an amazing time!

Just got a lovely John Lewis body suit through post from my friend in Cardiff to say thanks for me coming to see her. It's so cute!

I'd love to do home birth but our house is tiny, neighbours on both sides and bloody cats would probably try to get in pool (not poo ;) ) with me. Plus ages from hospital if anything went wrong. I'd like to try it next time though as we'll have moved back oop north by then and have a bigger house.

Totally just laughed belly laugh out loud at hiring a poo!!!!! Ha ha ha!!!

Do you think you'll poo in the pool?

Didn't watch comic relief but I do think Sam Smith is a sweetheart. Bit of a depressing song for comic relief though, bring back The Stonk!!

Loving your links lemon!

Need to go on PC so I can see minizyla

I do love the patisseries in Paris....mmmm...cake! God I want cake. Caaaaaake drools

Minila is a proper wiggler now and he loves to sock me one now and then. Got one in the ribs the other day. Mr La loves feeling him kick! He also referred to him as 'my son' yesterday and I welled up.

Have you popped yet pis!?!?! ;) 150 raspberry leaf tea bags!! Are you pissing red stuff as a result? My friend did a blue poo once after drinking shots of blue bols.

bat my nursery furniture is non existent just now, but I'm planning cot bed, drawers and we have a ledge that we will use for changing. My wardrobe is in there so no space for baby wardrobe! Was hoping to get nursing chair but I think it's unlikely we will afford it.

Jeez tee the smoking would really piss me off! I'd use it as heaven sent opportunity to avoid her house!!! My gran smoked like a chimney and we used to hate going in there when I was wee coz it smelled so bad.

God now I really want hot cross buns...

Awwww minizyla!!!

Jesus La that's a lot of booze, is she coming on her own?

Not been in a patisserie yet but had an amazing crepe with lemon last night

DH appears to be coming down with something and is now in bed snoring next to me!

Yeah I'm glad we don't have the smoking issue with anyone - it's a difficult subject.

Wtf is the point in her buying stuff you won't use Dulcet? Why are people so preoccupied with throwing money at things? Could you suggest starting a savings account for baby instead and then she could just buy a small toy or outfit as a token present?

OMG La. How bad is your chat that she needs to drink that much?! That's mental. And a bit cheeky.

Get the IKEA chair if you're skint.

I will definitely be pooing in the pool. I'm strangely looking forward to it...it's the only time you'll be able to shit as an adult and someone else has to deal with it (and the idea of DH fishing it out with a sieve makes me rofl)

And, everyone poos anyway, you just don't feel it by that point.

Ha! lemon they have a special fishing net for the pool poo!

wil purple I know! Normally I'd be drinking alongside her but she'll be on her own this time. Dh will be at work. She's reimbursing us for the booze. She always gets hammered, it's very amusing!

I'm planning an ikea Poang. It's the comfiest chair I've ever sat in!

I had a virgin mojito tonight, it was lush but probably too much sugar for a diabetic - oops

Can't believe so many viroids are now in the 30+ weeks! Exciting!

I didn't poo the second time- I have had to fish many poos out of children's baths though. Not pleasant. I can't imagine anything worse than giving birth at home. You're all very mental-- brave.

She sounds hilarious La.

strikeout fail obviously

Jeez, that is a lot of booze over 3 days. Does she remember you can't crack on with her la?! Anyway, when you are done with your kitchen pop over, I've got an oven with your name on (if your name was beko)

Thanks viroids, I was testing the water a little as AIBU here but I don't think I am. I don't even know what she is buying as she just says 'stuff' but she told DH she has started a box of 'stuff'. It makes me uncomfortable but if I say anything she thinks I am blocking her out. It's difficult as we get on really well and normally talk at least every other day. Have barely spoken at all this week which is why I suspected.

Not sure a list will help much here purple, although it is a good idea if she gets determined. My problem is I don't want them to buy lots, not what to buy. We want to choose and do it. Plus we are really cheap so look second hand for stuff - car boot sales and eBay - we like it!

Might mention a savings account though wil, that's an alternative. They did want to buy the pram which we were reluctant about but that might be an easier option if it means she stops buying 'stuff'! At least that's one thing and done then.

Still, should make tomorrow lovely and awkward! Anyone else got nicer plans with mums/children?

Oh the Hoover was not worth tears at all chat! DH thought it was hilarious and then I was even worse - what a mess! Well done on the healthy snacks - I had chips and haribo as I am weak!