Calmly and regally gestating our beans in a land of obsessive ILs, placenta horticulture, sweary doctors and naked pancake cravings. It's the JS grads thread 23!

[LaLaLaaaa]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 23rd grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 40th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

The stats sheet is here

So, roll call below please, viroids!

Zyla you're right, not since last night! eek!

Maybe she ate that curry and has been on the bog ever since?

Oooh good spot zyla. Fx.

Well surely acid fanjos has to make an appearance in the next thread title.

dulcet I had no idea what they were testing for, I'll give my blood to anyone who asks nicely Only knew when nurse called me up and reeled off a massive list of tests! I knew they were doing thyroid function as I had my thyroid removed 14 months ago so they're keeping an eye on that but never even asked what else they were doing! At least having no toxoplasmosis immunity gets me out of the gardening

Oh I have some black knickers with orange crotch too, wondered what the hell that was all about! Looks like I had acid swamp foof even before I was upduffed, I'm such a catch.

I'm very familiar with swamp foof

And sweaty bum crack

Oh I do not miss swamp crotch! Swamp tits instead now...

Ooh pis!

Hola! Sorry to disappoint but I am yet to do a baby. Lemon your comment there made me actually lol I've just had a busy day.

I did have a bit of a grumpy tum earlier which made me hopeful but then I did the biggest poo in morrisons which wouldn't flush away and that settled it so any morrisons employees out there who find that to deal with - I apologise! But you really should leave toilet brushes for your customers I'm feeling much better today too which is making me feel like less of a pussy about labour again. I was all ready to cancel the MLU idea and head off for an epidural instead

DP has been arranging a meet up with some colleagues and has settled on a mutually agreeable date - next Monday aka due date. Now I could have said no and pushed it to Tuesday but figured it was probably unlikely that anything will happen on that day (I'd already ruled out later in the week as being the time he's most likely not to be able to make it) but I dunno I feel a bit meh about him going away on my due date. It'll be about 1.5 hours drive back if anything happens. I'm making plans with DS instead as I feel I should do something. Nothing fancy - probably Pizza Hut buffet for tea

He's also worried about my iron levels (I've been on mega strength supplements for nearly a month) as he reckons I'm too easily confused. I think he's deliberately being confusing! Then we had a discussion about whether I'm subconsciously preparing for labour by kind of mentally disengaging from everything. I used to do a bit of distance running before I got upduffed and before long runs I used to tune out a bit. Made me wonder anyway.

Tee glad that's all sorted!

Can I correct you on the acid fanjo.please? The correct medical term.is actually tart tuppence

lemon I blummin told you, you would get booked in before me!. My second born will be starting a bricklaying course at the local tech by the time I get booked in.

Gaggia

Aw a poo baby born in Morrisons. How lovely.

Tried to move baby's bedtime forward to a decent hour. Not going well.

gaggia you crack me up is it wrong I read all your posts with a Geordie Shore accent in my head?

Didn't work for us either wil she did manage a whole 10mkns in the bedside cot before having a meltdown though! Progress?

indigo no that's perfect fine, I'm more geordie shore and less Cheryl Cole and I'm pretty sure I do shout everything!.

pis doesn't efficient bowels mean baby is on its way? I'm sure the body purges itself in readiness. Howaaaaaaay pis!

DH says that my foof swamp CM has changed the colouring in several pairs of my pjs tee shows how close I look!

Had a midwife appointment this morning, she was lovely and filled me with confidence for going into labour naturally... had an antenatal class this evening, started off lovely, she told me all sorts of things I didn't know about breastfeeding... then she scared the bejesus out of me with the possibility that the delivery ward could be full when any of us went into labour and in that case we'd be sent to the next nearest hospital. without question. including me with the history of quarter of an hour labour and post part haemorrhage, I wouldn't even make it the the next nearest hospital if they did that! Going to have serious words with the consultant on Thursday about it if natural labour is the plan come Thursdays scan... I was worried enough about giving birth on the way to my hospital, not alone one that's half an hour further away!

I think of the bit in alien where the alien acid drool buns holes in the metal walkways when I think about acid fanjo. It is really the stuff of sci if horror.

Oof Boo that wouldn't be good. It is one of my fears too as a previous speedy labourer!

Hope the presentation went well, La.

Tee, glad you're sorted and with a refund to boot, bonus. Now relax

Tart tuppence guilty of pants bleaching here too...

Congrats on the milestone Purple, now comes the wait for kicks, which is much more tolerable.

Wil, little steps. I don't think DD went to bed at a sensible or consistent bedtime until she stopped cluster feeding which was about 12 weeks or more.

Dulcet, today I had nutella and my buddy had strawberries and chantilly cream. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

I'm going to shop in Waitrose from now on. Nothing but the best for my babies. Does anyone else check the loo carefully after a big poo in case the baby did fall out? No just me? I'll get me coat....

Unfortunately Ga between the iron tablets and the daily dates this was not an isolated incident.

Boo it's a difficult one I guess - if it's full then it's full and you're probably better off heading straight to one with a bed than without. Hope the consultant can reassure you in terms of how rare it is that women get diverted elsewhere and you may well have a longer labour this time if you go to term (plus a fortnight so you're a set of parents down!)

Lemon I see you've progressed to pregnancy sporn!

according to Which? it was closed 24 times last year pis which is effectively once a fortnight, but it says it was for an average of only 8 hours, so in the 1038 hours between now and me being 14 days overdue that's like 24 hours... it's less scary like that... grumbles why did she even bring it up, she artfully avoided all real mention of scary stuff like IUGR, PPH and precipitate labours round the first timers, could she not have done the same with the closed delivery ward?

I check pis although I seem to just do rabbit dropping type poos at the moment, not had anything sizeable for a while :( if I strsin too hard I get the tonis or the baby kicks me so I like to reassure myself that my womble hasn't fallen out of my arse!
I feel much better that I'm not alone with the pant bleaching! in fact I think I have more ruined knickers from that than from AF?!

It'll be fine Boo, it won't be full (says confidently based on no factual evidence).

Hehe Pis. I love that you're full term and yet still hoping labour may be as easy as pooing your baby out unawares . Sadly I'm going to suggest you'll probably feel your baby's entrance into the world.

My thinking Chat was that if she was asleep she couldn't do the nightly screamathon. I have realised that was misguided and admitted defeat. Seems to be winding down now though. I did get half an hour though zyla so we win . Have you tried the white noise on your sheep thing to try to keep MiniZyla in her cot a bit longer?

wil yeah, it doesn't work. To be honest I'm concentrating more on getting her yo sleep without being held first now, then I'll worry about getting her to do it in her cot :) :)

Pis pregnancy sporn? Where?!

Well, what a night I've had! I do some volunteering just down the road and had a night shift. Well, whilst my colleague was on the phone I made myself a cup of tea. Thought it was strange that the kettle was in the sink when I found it, but figured she must have filled it full and was worried about it spilling when she poured herself a cup. Anyway, take a big gulp of tea only to find out it was fucking descaler

Cue lots of mouthing to each other and hand signals whilst she is on the phone to try and work out whether I am now dying a slow and painful death it was definitely descaler...I had to tell her the reason I was so paranoid was that I am preg, oops!

Anyway, called 111 basically to be told that the descaler I had swallowed is essentially lemon juice and not to worry although whilst on the phone to 111 I was thinking to myself that concentrated lemon juice is only going to make my tart tuppence worse

Never a dull moment when you're as much of a twat as me

Oh no lemon that must have been scary at the time, would it have killed your colleague to put a note on the side by the kettle to say it had descaler in?

Gasps zyla Ewan doesn't work? I thought he was universal magic?

Thank you wil I'm far calmer in the cold light of day and I'm too tired from my crap nights sleep to have space left for panic I'm sure it will be fine! Ish...

Oh dear lemon! That sounds minging!

Just woken from coma sleep in a pile of drool feeling very confused after another bizarre and very real dream. My night adventures are ridiculous!

I love my dream genii pillow by the way. Since I got it I've slept so much better because it stops me falling on my back and waking up in panic/due to baby protesting.

This has been a crazy week! Big presentation yesterday went ok but no one told me a) our company chairman would be there, b) that my slot followed his and c) that he would bang on about how people give us money mostly for one aspect of our work, not other species. My bloody talk was about the 'other' species!!!

I stood up and made a joke about it though which I think helped because everyone laughed was polite

I don't know if I'm getting Toni braxtons or not. In evening my bump is right and feels like it's actually growing out of me, like it's stretching. I feel like an alien is going to burst out of my skin when it happens. I thought it was because I eat too much but is this braxton hicks?

Dh has been throwing up lots last day or so so I've been telling him to man up looking after him

Oh my god the swamp foof! It's awful! I have to shower before bed. You all list me with the acid green crotch, WTf are you talking about? Actually I don't know if I want to know.

boo don't worry yourself so much, you can't change what's not even happened yet and either way you will be fine don't worry!

pis get bouncing!

lauren how is your wee sausage doing?

Question for the mums. I live in terraced house. Walls are actually quite thick so u can't hear neighbours. Old neighbours had baby for 3 months before we realised, but their house is bigger and he was in room at other end to us.

I'm starting to worry about the baby screaming that's going to happen. Am I going to be hated by my neighbours? Lady on one side hates us already coz cat poos in her garden. I've put in flower beds this last month and he seems to be using ours more now which is good.

I hate the thought of being the noisy neighbour but I guess there's nothing I can do

Right, need to unstick face from pillow and get up

Don't tell me Ewan doesn't work! I've got my sanity pinned on him!

I haven't poo'd since Sunday, very envious of the supermarket jobby