April 2015 Thread 9: Let the chatting continue!

[cinnamongreyhound]

Quick new thread as only 2 posts left on old one! Any newbies or lurkers please join us!

I'm not sure what my DH is doing for paternity leave. His work offer 1 week full pay and 2 weeks statutory but he's not sure about taking the pay hit for the statutory weeks. I think he should just do it seeing as I'm going to be on SMP for far longer than two weeks! I've suggested 1 week full pay, 1 week statutory and 1 week annual leave but he would rather save the days for later on.

My DP has been saving his leave up since we found out we were expecting, so he'll take a month off (two weeks of pat, two weeks of leave) and then he'll have three weeks left to take between May - August which should make for a lovely summer!

I feel like death warmed up today, raging sore throat and headache and even more shattered than usual. Running 15 mins late for work, should have been there 10 mins ago, ooops. Have six weeks to go, like others am really wondering how I'm going to get through!

30-+1

brixton I woke up with a weird cough! Hoping it doesn't come to anything as we are visiting the PIL this weekend and MIL is starting chemo/radiotherapy Monday so I don't want to pass anything on. If I get sick maybe I shouldn't go?

Feeling quite tired today too, think I over did it yesterday haha, going to have to have a nap today to make up for it. Luckily my only jobs for today are online food shopping and a bit of ironing later.

Daholster - it's always the case with DHs isn't it - they're always surprised at how much there is to do when it's presented to them in black and white.

Rum - congrats to your DH, it's the same for mine. He's taking two weeks annual leave instead. Will be relying on my mum massively thereafter as we have two weeks in New Orleans booked in October so what with a bit around Christmas that'll be his leave eaten up until next April. I can't be cross as I instructed him to find a new job with a salary that would make up for the loss of mine and be duly did it.

My DH is taking 2 weeks pat leave, then my mum and dad are coming down for a few weeks to see us all for the first time and help out during the day/cook! It hopefully means we can have a few long weekends all 3 of us to visit friends and family all over the country and just us too.

It's time for us to remortgage too in March so i'm a bit worried what my mat leave will do to offers - anyone been through that?

Not sure FiRaffe. Talk to a broker. Are you thinking of going back to work FT/ PT? If there aren't any early redemption penalties on your current deal you could always remortgage early and say you're planning on going back FT at say 6 months and that your mums going to look after baby for you hence no childcare costs...

On another note does anyone know about vaccinations for South Africa? DH is going in a couple of weeks and obviously being a man hasn't done any investigating. Wedding in Cape Town so not going off into the wild or anything.

Good question FiRaffe - we will be remortgaging at the end of our fix in September so I'd also like to know.

www.fitfortravel.nhs.uk/destinations/africa/south-africa.aspx

smog it looks like Hep A booster recommended. Cholera; Diphtheria; Hepatitis B; Rabies; Tetanus; Typhoid to be considered.

Also a Malaria area so bug spray and sleeping under nets.

Good news on the job RumNoRaisins, sorry about the timing though. Can he take some leave? Even if its unpaid, spp isn't a lot so you wouldn't be too much worse off. We're lucky my DH gets 2 weeks full pay but not sure we could afford him to go on spp for 2 weeks.

Sorry you're feeling poorly BrixtonBunny, you'll make it through because you have to. Speaking from experience time flies once baby is here so better to take it after the birth and have a bit more time at home.

I don't know about mortgage, you can just go onto variable for a few months until your back if you don't get any good fixed/tracker rates though. They only fixed we were offered was 0.5% above their variable rate so we're on variable at the moment

My DH plans to take 2 weeks Pat leave and when he told the director the other day he looked shocked/disappointed that he was taking any time off (our boss is his Uncle, but doesn't change that they'd rather he wasn't off at all). So they won't like him being off for more than 2 weeks so he'll have to use annual leave elsewhere.
DH has been looking for a new job and I secretly hope he doesn't get one, totally selfish of me but I want him to be able to take Pat leave and where he works now is only a mile away and we only have 1 car. working further away would be a logistical nightmare, practically making me house bound : ( plus more money spent on fuel to get to work, moan moan moan sorry. but I promised i'd support him no matter what (damn being married! lol)

I think he was trying to get out of having pat leave last night, he kept saying, hmm im not sure how much use i'd be, is it worth me being off? And I was like err yea! coz i'll need a break in between feeding, and there's a puppy to entertain and visitors to control!

Firaffe Mat leave didn't affect me being able to remortgage. If you see an advisor they will factory it in and offer products on lower rates that are maybe fixed until you return to work etc. It was our house valuation that let us down so I switched deals online with my current lender (natwest). no valuation, fees, solicitor, assessments etc. you basically self approve yourself for the mortgage. See what your current lender offers is the easiest but it does no harm to look on Money supermarket. Best deals were Nationwide with a Flexiaccount, and even when I saw an indipendant advisor he also confirmed Nationwide were best for us, so the moneysupermarket was accurate.

daholster good on you for contacting the consultant directly in my opinion!

stunt crap! I saw it had gone back up to £9.99 and then ended up getting it at full price in Sainsburys because I'm impatient grumbles

rum grad your scan went well, and awesome news about DH's job offer, hopefully you can work something out!

oh no brixton sorry you're feeling unwell! get some vitamin C in you!

siarie perhaps ring PiL and see what they think, they might be happy to risk it but it's better to let them make the decision.

yikes hiding put your foot down, if he's entitled to the paternity leave he should definitely take it!

went to what I was expecting to be a routine midwife appointment this morning. Have a new midwife, am mourning for the loss of my old midwife who was going to try and get me a water birth, this midwife blanched at the idea of pushing for a pool in MLBU for me :/ Also crappy leukocytes are back in my urine samples, midwife has suggested it could me my kidneys and that the reason DD stopped growing could be because my kidneys are crap. I'm also measuring small (but I know is was bang on target last week) so it's just as well I'm already booked in for growth scans! She is however the first person to point out that the growth chart indicates I could have a gigantic baby, no one else had seemingly noticed been cruel enough to tell me ?#?havingagreatday?

Our fixed rate finished ages ago and just went onto the variable as it was much cheaper for us. Our payments went down by £100 a month and the interest bit only varies by less than £10 each month (up or down) so much better for us to stick as we are I think.

I wouldn't know the first thing about remortgaging though, it was hard enough setting the bloody thing up in the first place. Probably could get a better deal if we looked around now we've chipped quite a bit off it. Should go and have a look at some rates etc now I think about it, not like I've got anything else to do at work.

We sold and moved whilst I was on maternity leave last year and it can be a big headache so to those looking to remortgage be careful. If you are in maternity leave they won't take your word for it that you are going back and often require a letter in writing from your employer detailing when you return, salary etc. However- the issue I had was because my work policy says we can amend our return to work date 21 days before we are due back, they wouldn't provide a letter as they said I could have changed it at anytime meaning what they were confirming with the mortgage company may actually be incorrect. Not wanting to scare people but just be very careful how you do it as especially now- mortgage companies are being risk averse. Luckily I got it sorted but in a bit of a backward way and was before the tight rules fully came in.

I've been off work all week with this horrid chest / cold virus thing. Totally knocked me for 6! That and having my whirlwind 13 month old!
I could have gone back to work earlier but considered I need to properly rest. 8 weeks left of work now so properly counting down. Can't wait now!! 31+1 - eeeeeeeekkk!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the comments ladies - we're booked in to see an independent advisor but wanted to go in with as much info as I can as he's new (took over from our last guy). We should hopefully get a good deal as valuation should have gone up £20k from what we paid (according to local estate agent) and we've paid off a fair chunk, so hopefully under 70% loan to value....fingers crossed as DH earns more than twice what I do it won't make too much difference!

Sorry to all those feeling ill. It is not fun.
I'm just so exhausted it's an effort to walk and have completely lost the ability to reverse park.
Had the MW this am; all in order and got given some little freebies in a pack - exciting.
30+5

Boo I don't understand - how could you be measuring small but also have a chance of having a gigantic baby? Sorry to hear about the mw change. I've not seen the same one twice but section anyway so I'm not bothered.

Daholster - yes just to echo what someone else said about good for you for contacting consultant directly.

Siarie - thanks. From what the bride (who is from SA but lives here) says he doesn't need anything as they're not leaving Cape Town. I'm not going as feels a bit too close to due date - it would be going into my 32nd week on the return flight so I reckon I'd be mega uncomfortable at the very least and constantly worried about baby trying to come early and also it's all happening in some sort of marvellous vineyard so would be torture being there while preg!

28+1.

Thanks for all mortgage comments, really useful. We should be ok because our initial mortgage was based solely on DH's income as I was on a studentship at the time which lenders wouldn't take into the equation, despite being paid like a salary. Since then, I've got a 'proper' job, DH has had a nice pay rise and the LTV should have decreased so fingers crossed we'll have some ok options. Useful to know it might be worth waiting on a variable rate until I'm back at work though to get a better deal.

Feel like I've had a full MOT this morning - whooping cough jab then 28 week appointment complete with blood test. There was a lovely young student midwife at my appointment, clearly quite new, so it all took a while but it meant the senior midwife was thorough in explaining everything. Apparently my stomach muscles are very strong () which is why it's hard to work out which way baby is, but they got there in the end. He was breech but wriggling lots and (predictably) had hiccups. The boy spends his life hiccuping! They did my risk assessment and said fine for me to go to the midwife led unit for delivery which makes me very happy. A good morning, all in all - but only on my way into work now so feeling like a proper slacker!

We struggle because we have other debt, Dh pays maintenance and because I'm self employed they only take 3x both our salaries not the usual 4x. You'd think at least dh's could be taken at 4x but it's linked to mine unfortunately :(

Sounds like a kind and sensitive midwife TheBooMonster . You are being closely monitored and things change all the time! What a miserable woman

Yay BananaToast

smog there is a graph in my notes that has the expected minimum and maximum weights for the baby through the pregnancy and to the birth. That has it's bottom line at 3.4kg at 42 weeks and highest line at 4.4kg at 42 weeks, which compared to a 2.14kg baby last time is huge (but for the rest of the world a perfectly normal sized baby). I measured bang smack in the middle at the growth scan last week (1.2kg at 28 weeks), but when she measured me today I was below the bottom line with an estimation of being the same at almost 30 weeks as I was at the growth scan. Though I know that both the scan and measurements by feel are iffy anyway, we were told that DD was going to be less than 1.5kg and guaranteed to go to NICU and in the end she was 2.14kg and didn't need to go to NICU till after they sent us home when she wasn't feeding properly.

I won't have my community midwife for delivery anyway, I'm just a bit sulky that I've gone from 'we'll do everything we can to try and get you that birthing pool' to 'it's out of our hands, you won't have a pool if you're still consultant led at birth'

aye cinnamon that's roughly what I thought, she has however indicated they can probably squeeze me in for the birth part of antenatal classes at the beginning of March which is good, and she raised some valid points about breastfeeding that's made me decide to hold off on the breast pump and steriliser and then see if I have difficulties feeding after the birth, as I may not even need a pump. So she has been useful in that aspect...

Boo it sounds like they're giving you loads of info but none of it's v useful or definitive. Humph. Hang on in there I guess and maybe reiterate to new mw what the previous one had said?

We've gone for a 2 year fixed at 3.74% with Natwest as their SVR was 4% (higher than most lenders) and lets face it, it's only going to rise seen as it can't get any lower.
We were fixed at 6.99% so it's made about £115 difference a month which is nice.
Hopefully in 2 years time our house will be worth what we paid for it again so our LTV will be better and we can look at new deals, or possibly moving house if we still want a second child :s
got 25 years left still so even if we don't do anything we can be mortgage free by 50, still want to pay it off before were 45 though, would be nice.

Yeah you're right boo he should defo take what he's entitled to. And I can see why he wants a new job. working with family (well in laws kinda thing) can be tricky, and tend to find that the rules are bent and changed to suit the company rather than what Should actually happen.
they've still not got my Mat leave replacement yet, they feel like 8 weeks is plenty of time, lets hope I make it to 38 weeks then eh!

Yay banana what good news!!

today is full of kick kick squirm

which considering I don't feel any but the most extreme movements of babies, means she must be having a party in there :)

(I know most of you are probably sick of it by now, but this is the most movement I've ever felt from any of my babies!)

I don't think I'll ever get sick of feeling mine move Ebwy - makes me smile all day long! Especially when I'm really concentrating at work and he gives me a prod to remind me he's still there.

aww that's lovely, banana