November 2014 - thread 9. The one with the babies.

[amy83firsttimer]

Waddle aboard ladies.

Congratulations Weeonion! Sounds like it was very stressful for you though :(

One more week of work for me before maternity leave. Ive decided not to tell the kids that I work with untill the very last day where I will let the 3 girls in the school know (very small special needs school so the girls are very close with the female staff) but more and more staff know now and Im having fun shocking people with my situation!

However, I keep dipping between being excited and just feeling crap. My relationship with my partner is on the rocks and (although im so glad he did) he confessed a whole ton of things that have been bugging him over the last 5!!!! years. Im hoping now hes got them off his chest we can fix stuff and move on as a family.

Im really worried im not going to love my baby when its here :/...... but then I type a sentence like that and I do! I already love my baby.... then it all turns to worry and panic again. Argh. Sorry to put a downer on things ladies.

You'll be fine ark - hormones will make it so. How's your partner been since he offloaded?

happy - sounds like hard work! Is DH helping with older child where possible?

Hes been weird but okay.....

Saw him on tuesday ( we dont live together but he stays over loads) I totally broke down as soon as he walked in the door, and I mean hysterical crying. He cooked dinner one handed while I cried on his shoulder and didnt let me go for a second. Made me go and sit down while he tidied up, cuddled me all evening and we decided on films to watch when he stays on saturday, I still got kisses etc but he wont tell me he loves me at the moment, which is fine. Cause hes explained it all and its something we need to work towards again. But bloody hell does it hurt :(

Im just worrying about the long term. I dont want to raise our baby without him. Not that I can do anything if it doesnt work out.

I just wish I could stop thinking of the worse case scenario all the bloody time. Which is one of the issues I need to work on for us to work.

Saying that I just text him saying I missed him and he text me straight back saying he missed me too. ARgghh my brain is melting.

Pregnancy hormones will make your mind work through the worst case scenarios, it's part of nature making sure that you protect your baby. He sounds like he's doing his best in testing circumstances as are you.

Hormones are a crazy thing! I hoovered my kitchen earlier in floods of tears!! Really took the biscuit!

Gosh Ark I really feel for you so so much to take in and deal with in a short space of time!

Congratulations wee onion glad to hear of baby onions safe arrival

I am currently lying in bed at 8pm on a Fri evening! Lots of BH tightening, baby burrowing down pain and feeling like someone is stabbing my pelvis area with a hot poker!

In agony nd this isn't even the real deal! Think I could convince them I need 2 epidurals

Wee onion. Thanks for sharing your birth story and congratulations on your DD's safe arrival. I hope the feeding sorts itself out soon. We are having a bit of a slow start here too, but it's coming together more on day 5.

I'm so sorry that you had such a different delivery from the one you had dreamed of. It's sure to take a while for you to rationalise what happened. When I had DS1 I was induced for being overdue and although I eventually fully dilated and pushed for 2 hours, he didn't progress and ended up with an EMCS. Afterwards I felt so grateful that he was healthy and with us, but as time went on it preyed on my mind about why what had happened did happen. The thing that finally put it to bed was getting my delivery notes reviewed when I was next pg. You can ask to see your notes now whilst in hospital, or get it done later on. It would have saved me a lot of anguish to have done it sooner rather than two years later.

Greenstone- loving it! Also recently found lie to me which is very similar but with less medicine.

Ark- you and he have had so much to process in such a short amount of time. You will both do your best for this very loved baby.

Congratulations weeonion! I hope you're getting some rest when you can and you both crack feeding soon. How do you feel about having to go to hospital in the end? Hope you're ok.

Happy- that sounds like hard work. Hopefully things will settle for you all soon and she'll bulk up.

Ark- I really feel for you having to adjust in a shorter space of time than most people get. I've had some real highs and lows over the last 8 months, so I can only imagine how much harder it must be to have the same compressed into a shorter time. Forgive yourself for not being superwoman. I hope things are ok with your partner. It sounds like he's being supportive?

All well with me - except for being a greedy, angel delight guzzling bottomless pit! We got a bonus scan this morning as at 38 week midwife appointment yesterday, midwife wasn't 100% sure baby was head down. She is, fully engaged and is facing to the left, despite my anterior placenta so hopefully won't have a back to back labour. Was pretty special seeing her again, seeing and hearing her heartbeat and knowing that we'll finally get to meet her sometime in the next 4 weeks!

How's everyone's bh, etc? They can be a bit bloody painful, eh?!?

Congratulations Weeonion, it sounds like you did everything you possibly could. My sister had a similar experience recently as the baby wasn't in a good position, she was quite traumatised by it but I keep telling her to try and be less hard on herself, there wasn't anything she could have done. Kantha I will pass on your suggestion to her about asking to see the delivery notes, it may help as I know she wants to have more children.

I've spent a nice afternoon listening to 'the wheels on the bus' and playing with toys at my friends house as she looks after her 16 month old granddaughter, I suppose I'm going to have to get used to that soon, it's still going round and round in my head!

Caz - in which case try to avoid ever buying a nursery rhyme CD for the car. Once a toddler is into it you will never get to listen to a radio station of your choice again.

Like your sister my baby had been in a bad position (brow presentation with his head stuck in the corner of my pelvis). The debrief told me the specifics of that rather than something vague I had heard post delivery. Key to going for a VBAC confidently, was that there was nothing 'in my anatomy' to suggest I couldn't have a natural delivery. I cried loads at the debrief though . A bit embarrassing with a consultant and a MW there.

Thanks girls, yes he is being supportive and pretty good about me talking about bump stuff, I'm just being very careful not to overwhelm him at the mo incase he runs a mile. I just hate this worrying feeling in the pit of my stomach that I might actually lose him as my partner one day.

I'm not sure if what happened last night was a BH? My bump suddenly went a really really odd shape and rock solid, I couldn't get off the bed lol no pain but a bit uncomfortable. Does that sound like a BH or is baby just trying to actualy stretch my stomach out so they have more room lol

Sounds like it might have been a BH arkkorox :-)

No movements here during get the night except a toddler deciding at midnight to vomit fish and chips ALL over her bedroom. Good practise in case of a sicky baby I suppose

Yes that was a BH! They're.....distracting to say the least.

Congrats weeonion! I suspected something like that was happening. I'm a bit worried about that outcome for myself, as am becoming increasingly resigned to an induction next Wed.

41 wks today. Sleep no longer happening at all. Overtired & emotional. Despite my size, going to travel a good distance to see my parents today as I think I need a good cry on my Mums shoulder.

Have gone from obsessive symptom-checking to....not bothering. Its not going to happen on its own. Oh well. DH is being so so SO tender to me. Don't know what i'd do without him.

Argh! Anna I need to adopt your approach and stop symptom checking. I'm not even due yet and I'm already acting like a loon.

Ark, please don't worry, it's just your hormones making you feel that way. Both you and your partner have had a lot massive understatement to deal with in the past few weeks. Whether you've known since 5 or 35 weeks, it's still a lot to take on. I've known since 5 weeks and still have moments of blind panic.

Your partners sounds like he's being supportive which is fantastic. From your previous posts, it's obvious you love your baby. Hold on to the fact you'll be seeing his or her little face soon and all this angst will be a distant memory.

Rang the LW as my discharge is basically clear water now and it could be a slow leak. They've told me to come in to get it tested. I feel a bit foolish, its almost certianly a type of discharge as I don't even have any BH. This could be a bit embarressing, lol. I'm a nurse!

Was just on the verge of getting in the car to my parents but I suspect this is more important to get checked out. I can always see them tomorrow.

Anyway I'll let you all know what they say.

Pelvic pain has got sooo bad think baby has burrowed its self in alongside back pain I took painkillers in the night got couple hrs sleep from them.

Just done a mega aldi shop brought lots nice extra special range meat n mince n sausages for batch cooking, about to make cottage pie for dinner n will do one extra for Freezer, husband is peeling the potato mountain first before I crack on. :)

Thanks ladies, I think it was a BH too so glad to know others think the same.

I got a bollocking from my other half this morning as he fell asleep but woke up to text from me going ' MY BUMP HAS GONE WEIRD' lol but then I fell asleep before telling him it was fine haha.

I keep expecting some kind of payback, 38 weeks on monday and this morning I still took my dog to her agility class and coped fine! I def have a proper bump now, theres no mistaking it!

I really really really want baby to come a little bit early if im honest, I love christmas so much and I dont want to be recoving from labour for half it. I want to go to the christmas markets with my new baby!

Thanks for the details Kantha, I will mention your experience to her in a few weeks. She's been struggling with lack of sleep, she says she only gets about 4 hours a night in 1 hour blocks as he's a very hungry baby.

I cried in front of the midwife and consultant last time I was at the hospital. Think that's why they forgot to book me a 32 week appointment!

Hope it's good news Anna!

Good luck Anna. This time last week I was at triage being checked to see if my waters had gone. Now cuddling a very squishy DD.

Crazy - your sister's baby sounds like my DS1. Big and hungry. He took a lot of feeding and didn't sleep very much. I could time daytime naps to precisely 27 minutes! How old is he? Tell her to hang in there. It does get easier.

No waters gone - just very watery discharge. But they were very nice. They said that cos of the New Moon they were getting a ton of membrane checks. The speculum smarted a bit! Ooooh! Am bleeding now after it!

Still glad I went in for the peace of mind - and they put a monitor on the baby and he's doing very well.

She also asked me if I'd like a sweep - well she didn't say the word sweep but I presume thats what she meant when she said "D'you want me to give it a bit of an old "Come On Down"?"

She said my cervix was softened and favourable. That may mean sweet fuck all as regards my progress but its better than the opposite I suppose!

Arrkkorox Don't cross your fingers for it being early - this is my first too and look at how bloody long its taking! I've honestly been waiting to spring into action for the last month! My nerves are shredded! I wish there was some way they could tell you so you can just chill out and wait patiently.

LOL at the 'old come on down'

Sorry your waters haven't gone. Good to get some peace of mind though that everything is intact as DD is well.

Thank you so much for the congratulations. Can't believe DD is 12 days old already. She's feeding well, we have been discharged from midwife to health visitor already and out of the 3 c sections, this has been by far the most relaxed and relatively painless. Only downside is that I'm going stir crazy not being allowed to drive and generally having to take it easy.

Congratulations WeeOnion on the safe arrival of your little one. Hope you've managed some rest at least.

Love reading all the updates and keeping fingers crossed for safe arrivals all round. Making me miss being pregnant, especially the kicks.

Aaagh I am so tired I just want to lie down on the floor and cry but I'd never be able to haul myself back up!

Had pains and tightening for a while on Fri night and then again last night (although it still feels like it is night time) when I finally got to sleep woke up a few hours later with what feels like a tummy bug!

Had quite an emotional episode at bed time too, with about a week to go I'm so anxious about the baby being ok during labour & birth, worrying in case I can't do it etc

Hope everyone has had a much better Saturday night than I have this week! crawls off back to bed feeling sorry for myself xx

Had crap night's sleep with a sore boob and also fear of childbirth keeping me awake. Due tomorrow and DH is convinced it will be on time

Up since 6.45 and can't face going back to bed so this is it.