April 2015 thread 2 for miscarriage survivors. today we are pregnant!

[TinyTear]

Thread 2
Nearly at the 12w mark for all and we can start some stats!

14+0

Hello all

Peppa Pig world was great. Didn't rain and not too many queues. Emily loved it and we bought her a toy Emily Elephant.

Care glad you are seeing the geneticist quickly. I hope you come back to us in a few months with good news.

Shetland I got the NHS letter with 1 in 980 risk but harmony was very low risk. I think it went up because I am over 40

How is everyone?

Carebear I'm thinking of you.

Shetland I received a phone call 2 days after my NHS nuchal scan with my blood results. I had a low risk. Harmony results gave me an even lower risk.

Well, we told DS about the baby and he's v pleased. We haven't told him the gender but will probably tell him soon as he keep saying that he wants a baby brother & not a sister. Well this baby is a girl and it's going to be a major adjustment for him so I'll have to get him used to the idea slowly. DH is very disappointed that it's a girl and I think he's barmy! We've TTC for around 5 years and all I want is a healthy baby. Evidently he seems to have forgotten all of our struggles in TTC, looking for IVF treatments & our 3 miscarriages :(

Yay London for another girl in the group!

DH is getting used to the idea of another girl... And tell your DH that girls are not necessarily ladylike... The other week mine was playing "bottom ball" where she put a ball between her legs laid like a chicken while shouting bottom baaall or poooooo

I should have filmed it...

Girls are great london - congratulations!

tinytear I was expecting a higher risk as I'm just short of 40 so hopefully that's all it is. I am wishing I'd done the harmony test now though.

Congratulations london on having a little girl.

im so jealous that you know the sex, I wont find out till my 20 wk scan on the 14th of November its driving me slightly crazy.

I'm hoping they can tell me the sex at my 16 week scan on the 7th - with my first baby they could but not with the second.

Thanks ladies :)

Well we had tears earlier today. My DS looked at the FMC harmony results which had the gender written in it. He's v upset and keeps saying please give the baby back, I want a bany brother :(

Shetland you can still do the harmony test. In hindsight, I should've waited for my NHS nuchal & blood test before going for the harmony. No regrets though as I know what the sex of the baby is. And I think DS & DH are going to need all the time that they can get to get used to having another female in the house

I was going to wait till the NHS tests but decided I needed a 10w scan

Ooh - I assumed I'd be to late for the harmony. What does it entail exactly?

Good job you told DS london - now he's got plenty of time to get used to the idea!

No you are not too late Shetland.

The Harmony test consists of a scan and a blood test. The scan offered depends on your stage of pregnancy.

Where are you based Shetland?

London and I went to the Fetal Medicine Centre in Harley street.

I'm in kent. I've just had a look online and I could do it in Sevenoaks but it's £150 more expensive than the FMC so I might as well just go to London.
Will talk to DP tomorrow.

Im in Kent too shetland

Well I've had a crappy few days.
All the warning signs are starting to kick off after attempting to ignore it for a few days I decided I needed to go to hospital today to check it out, I didn't want to miss the chance for a stitch.
Baby is fine (for now) but basically all the same patronisation as before FFS how many babies do I need to loose before the take me seriously!
And to top it all off I doubt I will ever consent to a pelvic speculum exam again. EVER. I'm absolute serious.
Nor will I accept a female obstetrician I've never came across a decent one in 3 very medicalised pregnancies.
Especially at that hospital that afford their patient so little dignity by having a communal maternity assessment room.
I feel really humiliated and degraded.

We did go out for the family meal it was lovely for us all to meet up. But it couldn't be more obvious my new SIL is pregnant, I suspect a bit ahead of me, and everyone but DH and I have been told.
I'm sure they think they are being sensitive but actually I find it rather patronising not to mention its just another way baby loss mothers are isolated from family.

Sorry to be so down.

Carebear - thinking of you. I hope they find out what is causing the ds soon. In response to your qn- I have not yet had my 12 week test but getting the quad test and scan when I am 14+5 this thursday. quite worried about it because I have had 2 weeks to think about it. With my other 12 week scans I have been more bothered about a heartbeat rather than planning into the future.

Little - horrible they are not doing a better job of reassuring you. hope you continue to have a good weekend. difficult with the family though.....especially if she is further on than you as they will need to tell you eventually. (that said my sil who lives abroad got a bfp on the day I found out about a mmc and waited 2 days before telling us because she didn't think it was appropriate at the time. She did also try and reassure me by telling me how lucky I wasn't pregnant and how crap it was.)

After a couple of days feeling better I am feeling sick again. It is definitely improving but taking its' time. I think I felt so well on Friday I went a bit mad with doing things and tired myself out! dd has also been challenging which I think is due to a cold and her final back molars coming through. It doesn't help dh is working all weekend.

girls are great by the way! (not that I have ever had a little boy to compare too.)

Oh little that is terrible. Can you go on self medicated bed rest? Or go to the hospital every day until they finally give you the stitch?
And I thought they checked the cervix with a scan not a bloody speculum...
I so hope all will be OK for you

How are you doing today little ?
I can understand how you feel about not being told your SIL's news, but I expect they are just trying to protect you plus they probably simply don't know how to tell you :( If she's ahead of you she won't be able to hide it for much longer surely?

I had a look at the harmony tests last night and the cost is eye watering - I am tempted though. Not had a chance to speak to DP yet but I expect he'll think I'm worrying about nothing.

Tiny nope speculum. Needless to say I'm furious at my treatment. God help my consultant on Tuesday I'm going to insist that both he write & sign letter stating that he believes my pain isn't related and they don't believe my cervix with dilate. If they can't do that then they better start putting a plan into action.
Its time to make it clear that all mistakes made in this pregnancy will result in serious consequences.

She honestly couldn't have been any more patronising claiming that its stretching pain. I can flaming tell the difference!
This is why I refuse female Obs they are far far more patronising than the male Drs. I though it was just the culture at the last hospital (even the midwifes agreed) but it seems to be endemic amoung them.

shetland I can understand their motivation for keeping it secret but they are going to have to tell me at some point leaving it later doesn't change the fact she's pregnant just makes it all more awkward.

My in-laws are an odd bunch of secret keepers I'm not even sure BIL knows about DD!
If they tell us then I'm happy to let them know we are pregnant too but not to tell PILs they made it clear they don't want to know when I'm pregnant until were sure a baby will survive.
It's possible they may have a grandchild they never knew existed!

14+1

Tiny forot to say I've been on semi house rest for a few weeks, even gave up my job. But I've upgraded myself to bed rest.

LIG goodness how bloody insenstive to say you were lucky not to be pregnant!

Go for it little, fight like a bear!

Just got out the doppler and found the heartbeat. forgot how hard it is to find at this stage as it is so low down and it moves around.

how is everyone doing? I just had a nap and woke up and dh has taken dd out. I am watching TV and feeling quite lazy. dh was meant to be working today but isn't so it is an unexpected chance so sit down.

Little - how are you doing today. Are you going to go back to the hospital next week?

carebare - will be thinking of you tomorrow.

LIG I'm back at the hospital on Tue for a transvaginal scan with the consultant.
Feelings wise I'm emotionally drained tbh. Plus still have the pain and now a headache.

I'm glad you have managed to have a nice rest and got to hear the heartbeat.

We will all be sending positive vibes on Tuesday.

Earlier I was on the sofa and think I felt a flutter but not 100% sure.
15+1 seems a bit early... With my dd didn't feel her till after 20w...