I think second time round it feels less real to me. Life is so busy with work and dd! Last time it was all I could think about most of the time, and I was constantly between worry and excitement. In a way I feel bad that I'm almost too busy to let it take over in the same way, but I think it's normal. Last night I was watching dd in the bath and thinking how special she is, she is so amazing - then I remembered how she was our jumping pip on the scan and watch she has grown into. Then I suddenly had a rush of love for the new little one, remembering at the scan last week how he/she had a big stretch like a proper mini person, and how it is already a little person with potential to be like dd... Hopefully will be - and is our second child and part of the family, whatever happens. It was lovely.
I didn't get any "rushes of love" with dd until much later, when I could feel her moving. Even then, although I worried about her and got very upset if I thought there was something wrong, I didn't truly bond or connect until she was about 6 weeks old. She was a beautiful tiny baby, that I wanted to look after, but shedidnt feel like mine. Suddenly at 6 weeks we were in the garden and I was showing her the flowers and trees anti suddenly had the first rush of "I would actually protect you to the ends of this earth, I'd automatically jump in front of a car to save you wthout a second thought" and I cried at this feeling of huge love - and relief that it had actually happened. Until then I hadn't truly bonded. Maybe that's because I was ill, we had breastfeeding problems, d&c when she was a week old, all sorts, or maybe it was always going to be like that. My friend had a baby 2 weeks later and felt the same until about 6 weeks too, so who knows.
It's all normal. But I think my maternal heart is a bit more practiced this time and might get with the game sooner!!!
Everyone is different and how we will feel is different too. Blues is ok, depressed is not, so best to talk over your worries if you are concerned.