Pop pop pop We're all about to POP! - July 2014 thread

[ismarah]

Hope you like the title - like inside us, there was no room on the other thread!

Plate- that is very impressive in a weekend, nice work.

Hayley I can't believe people you didn't know came to visit in hospital - and that your MIL took your flowers!

I'm nervous about visitors too. My PIL are staying about an hour away with BIL for two weeks from this weekend so if the baby is on time then I suspect we'll be bombarded. My MIL can be a bit know it all so really would like a few days to get up and running first rather than struggling with first nappy changes etc. in front of her. My PIL just don't understand the concept of short visits either...

I need to have a chat with my sister too as she lives four hours away and so will expect to stay over for at least a night but at the moment I can't imagine wanting that. My parents are on her way down so might chat to Mum about her staying with them and they all just coming for the day. My sister is really lovely but can be a bit self centred and doesn't have kids so understandably won't really understand that the first few weeks are hard - she'll think we are being very unreasonable not letting her stay if she's driving that far (which I do understand).

mrsA2 the visitors thing can be a bit of a minefield. I think after our initial invasion I just took the line that people would just find us in whatever state we happened to be in. One piece of advice I read was to buy some extra pjs and use as daywear in the first few weeks-people less likely to expect you to wait on them if they think you haven't had chance to get up and dressed ;) they can get their own and one for you too!

So DH was running so late in the end he had to take my suggestion-just hope he doesn't get lost or I'll be in trouble! Meanwhile I feel so so wasted so am back in bed.

I was worried about visitors but tbh now faced with possibility that mil may not meet her first grandchild at all I couldn't give a hoot. Although I am struggling with the thought of other people meeting baby before dp if he doesn't make it back in time. Though I'm struggling full stop today - so angry with him over various things he was supposed to have done that either I now have to do or I have to struggle around making the pain I'm in worse. If he'd have done it when I said instead of leaving it then it wouldn't be a problem. But no I was just nagging and he had plenty of time to do it. So much for relaxing maternity leave.

I was worried about visitors but tbh now faced with possibility that mil may not meet her first grandchild at all I couldn't give a hoot. Although I am struggling with the thought of other people meeting baby before dp if he doesn't make it back in time. Though I'm struggling full stop today - so angry with him over various things he was supposed to have done that either I now have to do or I have to struggle around making the pain I'm in worse. If he'd have done it when I said instead of leaving it then it wouldn't be a problem. But no I was just nagging and he had plenty of time to do it. So much for relaxing maternity leave.

Oh auntie I'm so sorry! I'm not sure any of the DPs actually 'get' the urgency we instinctively get about stuff at this stage of pregnancy and most live in a bubble of 'I've got loads of time' which really doesn't help as anything can shorten that time be it baby coming early or some other incident such as you have to deal with. Try to pace yourself if you can though I know it's not easy.

So DH took a wrong turn and got stuck in loads of traffic which of course is my fault! Don't understand how he just doesn't 'get' directions etc! Grrrr

Auntie I think you have every right to be annoyed and frustrated. You are doing amazingly with so much on your plate right now. My husband moaned all weekend when I asked him to help with the smallest things - it's when something unexpected happens that suddenly their 'it's fine, I'll do it next week' falls down so badly.

Does it help separating things into 'must do before the baby comes' and 'I'd really like to do'? We are about 6 weeks into a new house and it's still a bit chaotic, we have no curtains in the nursery yet and I really would like it all done before the baby arrives but it doesn't have to be, I know it'll be in our room for quite some time yet anyway.

Thinking of you and your husband.

Blue - good tip about the PJs!

Some of it needs doing because it hurts for me to step over/around it and some of it could wait but makes me embarrassed to have people in the house (the state of the fridge I cleaned yesterday) . This morning I broke my big toe nail off on the bike stuff that is in the hallway... I can't move it/sort it out.

I feel guilty being angry with him with everything that's going on. Just feels shit that we should be getting excited about baby coming and stuff and instead it's like this. Doesn't help that he seems to be having a nice time outside of dealing with his mum... trips out with his dad, nice meals, etc when I'm stuck here dealing with everything. I know it's not the point and not really what's happening which makes me feel even more unreasonable.

My brother has said he'll drive down with his family the weekend after the baby is born. From what we gather this could mean baby is 2 days old after ELCS, I'll still be in (I assume, they kept me in for a week last time) and his children won't be allowed on the ward.

My sister also planned to do the same, I have requested they wait til the weekend after!

The family that live close by I won't be able to stop so I'll just make sure I have a list of things for them to bring/do :)

Oh auntie that sounds a) painful and b) v irritating having to sort through stuff- is there anyone you can call on to give you a hand with the lifting, given the circumstances people should be sympathetic!

I've just had a call from my birth pool hire people - suddenly made it all very real but in a good way as the lady was v v helpful. Felt too rough to battle with buses to the doctors this morning and I'm so sceptical at doc being bake to find anything causing the vertigo plus I've not had any more dizziness today so just hoping it's all ok.... Though of course literally as I was typing that I've just had another minor dizzy attack :( bugger

Blue I've had a few dizzy spells and got the same vague responses you've had. In the end they told me no to worry about coming in unless one a) doesn't pass b) i fall completely unconscious. not super reassuring to be honest! They did check my heart, blood pressure, blood sugar etc but couldn't find anything wrong. The only pattern I noticed was that they often came when I was tired from lack of sleep + had just exerted myself a bit.

They are horrible, though. I've had 3 at work and it's not fun to be lying on the floor of the office with everyone looking at you!

Vertigo is awful, so I hope it settles down for you asap.

I'm feeling very ... uncomfortable in my girl bits today, which is no fun since I actually have to go out for once. It's always those days. Baby's still sitting high up so I'm not worried about anything, just would like it to stop being uncomfortable. Although baby dropping would be nice because I'd like to be able to breathe properly again, thank you very much. Heartburn can sod off too.

Dorothea so sorry you've got it too! Not fun! I've just detected a hint of a sore throat so maybe something is amiss in my right ear and causing it-eitherway I don't think there's anything they can do! They did a thorough check of all vital indicators and baby yesterday and all was well so need to be grateful for that.

Bump is constantly on the move as this baby rarely stays still - would be nice to have a little rest from the movement but know it's a good sign really. Last night it actually felt like it was testing whole of my bump to find a way out :)

I've managed some gentle admin and washed all of the 'old' towels I've got ready for my home birth kit box. Now time for another rest I think!

I've been saying to DH, who is another of those 'I'll do it later' chaps and then 'later' never fucking happens...that I'd quite like a tame teenager to boss around. A lot of the things I'd like to do still involve heavy lifting which anyone can do - and my supervision. Sadly, I don't have a handy tame teenager around so that's a no-go. Maybe you have one Auntie?

My right leg, which is the 'bad' one, is now about an inch larger in circumference than the left. Not exactly swelling but consistently bigger. So fetching. Although I don't care because I had cheesecake for dessert today..

Thanks all for the advice about visitors-useful to know I'm not the only one! My parents would be fine if in hospital would just ohh and arhh over 1st grandchild, if at home would def not need looking after. I think dh just wants some family bonding time for the 3 of us and for me not to feel pressured. The more I think about it the more I think would be fine with them coming straight away so hopefully won't upset anyone...

Doing a list of jobs to do before July/baby did help my dh get motivated although I'm sure sometimes he makes excuses to try and go to B&Q as many times as possible...

Just had a total nightmare, rang DWP to check status of my application for maternity allowance only to be told that there's a certificate still in existence which I should've cancelled over a year ago which would drop my entitlement from circa £600/m to £100/m needless to say we cannot survive on the lower amount so I've been frantically trying to sort it out this afternoon!! And there was me hoping payments were going to start at the beginning of July...fat chance of that now probably given the speed these departments work at! Just so frustrated as I thought the certificate in question only lasted for a year, but apparently it's three (or was when I applied for it). Last thing I really needed this afternoon as feel sooo shaky as a result of the stress and trying to gather the info to write a letter to try and get it sorted and then dashing to the post office to catch the post! And now DH and DS will be home in 45 minutes so I need to get all the paperwork tidied up before DS decides to 'help' and DH has yet another go at me for not having filed it neatly in the way he likes!

Auntie I really feel for you. I know what's it's like doing it on your own. There was lots of things that DP was supposed to do weeks and weeks ago as well but they haven't been done, then he gets a last min call to canada and I'm left to do it all. It is really frustrating.
When we were moving house he went to France with working was struggling trying to pack everything up and he was posting photos of him skiing!! All I bear is "it's work I don't get a choice" and I know it's not that he chooses his trips but in the last 4/5 months they have been constant and they really do piss me off, especially as when he's home after one of his trips for a few days he's too exhausted to really make an impact on the house don't get me started I'll be I a bad mood if I start to think about it lol.
Harder for you though as your physically in pain and of course are trying to be compassionate about your MIL. I do however think pregnant women have the right for the world to revolve around them especially at the end, don't think men / people who have never had children have any idea how tuff pregnancy is on the body - I certainly didn't.

I met the most amazing lady today. I needed to get 4 large shelves (that Dp was supposed to get) I was uming an aring whether I could manage carrying them on the bus with the buggy, and in the end decided to just go for it as I really need them.
Anyway on the way to the bus stop the shelves fell out the bottom of the buggy and I was trying to pick them up (can just about bend) when a lady pulled over and asked if I needed help. At first I politely said aww thank you but I'll be fine. She then said look I'm not crazy or anything I'm a Christian lady and have a 1 year old, I'm going to morrissons if you would like a lift anywhere Im more than happy to help you - you look like you need an extra pair of hands.
It was the strangest thing, iv never in my life got in a strangers car but she seemed so genuine and was going 2 minutes from my house, & I really did need help so I actually said yes. She popped the shelves in the car and the buggy and ended up taking me home. She was such a nice person I wish I got her number or something to thank her properly. I got in the house and burst into tears. It meant so much, really hope I bump into her again would at least like to buy her a cup of tea and bit of cake. I know I could really have been putting me and my son at risk but my instinct trusted her and I was feeling completely helpless at that moment I felt like she was there just for me

What are you putting in your home birth box Blue?
I bought some towels today. Was going to collect some old ones from friends and family then thought my towels are pretty old anyway so I'll buy new ones and use out current ones as old ones. Apart from towels I have no idea what I'm going to need. MW is coming over next week so I guess she'll tell me but I'd like to be a little ready this week and not leave everything till the last moment. Are you packing a "hospital bag" just encase you why transferred?

That's wonderful hayley. It's great when people surprise you.

Sat outside in the sun too long and probably got burned. Possibly quite burned. Bloody Scotland, confusing me with its long hours of sunlight. When's the hottest part of the day over here? It's apparently not over at 3pm (ish) like it is back home! Have also lost my NZ skin strength so must remember that.

DD dirtied her knickers when we were outside. She refuses to dirty on the potty (though she wets it extremely well) so that was a nightmare to clean up. Hooray for more laundry.

I can't remember what it's like to have energy! Is everyone else the same? I walk slower and then my legs ache. And I have no energy. I am so grateful DS still has a nap during the day (or most days) as that gives me a chance to collapse although should really be painting DS's new bedroom but there is no chance! Can't wait to feel like myself again as do feel like a grumpy walking zombie. And not helped by how well DH is feeling due to the ridiculous amount of exercise he is doing.

Hayley - lovely that someone helped. I do find it a bit sad that we always expect the worst of people but so nice to hear a positive story from a genuinely nice person.

Got midwife tomorrow. Have seen a different one each time and so haven't warmed to any of them - especially the last one. Need to discuss my getting to hospital concerns as DS entered the world late but in a rush... They just don't seem that interested down here. Luckily the hospital has an excellent reputation but that means we get quite a few people coming from out of the area but the MWs at the doctors just want to take your bp, measurements and listen to baby which is all good but would be great to actually discuss things... Will see what tomorrow brings...

Incapinka I went through a long period of having little to no energy. I'm now taking Vitamin D and C tablets and feeling a lot more alive.

Hope you get on well with the MW tomorrow.

hayley so glad someone stopped to help you...
Right, home birth box list as follows plus I have hospital bag packed which I will keep with the box/accessible as there are some items like baby's first outfit which will stay in the hospital bag until needed just in case we have to transfer in.

Birth Pool will be delivered with the following:

• Inflatable pool
• Brand new liner (plus a demo one for test run)
• 2x brand new 15m hoses (one for filling and one for emptying)
• Multi tap connector and universal tap connector
• Ground sheet and anti-slip mat to go under the pool
• Electric air pump
• Electric emptying pump
• Digital thermometer
• Sieve to remove any debris from the pool

home birth box:

• Old towels (I've got 5 big ones and 4 small ones)
• Old or cheap shower curtains to protect the floor/plastic dust sheets
• Bucket for me to vomit or wee into if necessary
• Extra thick strong bin bags for disposal of bits afterwards
• Strong torch (in case lighting not great for midwife trying to examine me)
• Batteries for torches
• Old/cheap duvet and/or pillows to kneel on if I’m outside of the pool
• Maternity pads, big knickers etc (basically a duplicate of what’s in my hospital bag)
• Newborn nappies
• Clean towels for me
• Clean towels for baby
• Blanket for baby
• Absorbent maternity floor/bed pads
• Old sheet to cover the floor/route to bathroom (which is upstairs, pool will be downstairs!)? – or I may just have a bucket downstairs to wee in!

Other things I think we'll need to hand re:

• water bottles and straws
• flat surface with changing mat on for MW to do checks on baby when born
• biscuits and lots of tea bags for the MWs
• DH will want easy access to his camera but will probably keep it in his hospital bag just in case we have to transfer in

That's all I've got for now... Hope it helps!

Will try those kiwi. Thank you. Have been zombified for months now. Not helped by sleeping appallingly. And now feeling stupidly emotional as DH got back from work 10 mins ago and is off again in 5 to do ashtanga yoga. All part of the IM training but it is also my normal class and means he won't be back until past 9. Will be so pleased when the bloomin IM is over... Sorry whinge over. When shattered I feel increasingly sorry for myself. Luckily DS's cuddles more than make up for it.

And sorry for whinging. Especially when auntie Maggie and Hayley and a few others have their DHs away.

Ashtanga yoga as part of IM training? Is that strictly necessary?

Just got on an unusually packed train but a kind woman immediately spied me and quietly got up leaving a seat free. Lady sitting next to her immediately scooted over into the free seat and said 'oh you won't want sit on that seat' (the one she had just vacated) '..it's wet'. I indignantly shoved past her, flopped down on her soggy seat and said 'I just want to sit down'. Even after I sat down she was still going on with 'you'll change your mind in a minute, it's not nice, I don't even know what it's wet with'. Thankfully kind bloke next to me gave me his paper to sit on. Honestly she was looking right at me, nose 3 inches from massive bump, she must have noticed!