November 1014 - thread 5 - the rainbow collective romping (and limping) into 2nd trimester!

[weeonion]

hi folks - thought we should have a new thread!

Thanks Northern.
I might give the hospital a call tomorrow and ask them what's going on. I'm very high risk do to having a stroke last year April at the age of 30; followed by an operation to replace an artery, which was a contributing factor. I've been seeing my consultant since last November when I first raised the question of having kids post stroke. My 16 week appt is definitely with my consultant as it was booked back in March when I saw him to discuss the way forward following my BFP so I'm not sure where the midwife fits in.

The midwife at my booking appointment was close to useless. She couldn't get any blood out my arm (I have rubbish veins), so she sent me off to the blood clinic. After a 45 minute wait I returned and to have a bundle of papers thrust at means for her to tell me the appointment was over. Only when I got home, I realised my appointment schedule was for low-risk. They said they'd sort it out at my next appointment so I'm none the wiser.

Sorry for the long post.

Well were hoping to move soon anyway but if we end up stuck here, I don't want to risk not getting the deposit back if I bleed/ make a mess on the carpets!

Plus my current place just isn't suitable (too small and therefore cluttered so no room for a birthing pool and we don't have a bath).

Also I have no idea if we'll move in time to know far enough in advance if where ever we move to would be suitable!

That should have said bp not bo! The horror!

You have sound reasons for being high risk BrandSnob, I'm only high risk because of a CS, so I think I would definitely call, because you don't want a wasted trip to see the wrong person. I think I just see the consultant to talk about VBACs, as I have no other health conditions.

We had ds in hospital and I loved the feeling of security. I know that flies in the face of everything you read about home birth, but I felt much more comfortable being an environment where I could bleed/secrete what I liked, with medical staff on call. I still practiced the hypnobirthing techniques and got by on gas and air, but I'm aware that many people feel let down by their hospital experience though, so we may have got lucky. DH is very good at being quietly firm with staff which may have helped too!

Would be interested to hear about birth pool experiences though - I didn't want to last time partly because of the high chance of pooing in the pool, but also the stated side effect in some cases of the water working to slow contractions (and hence draw out the labour...) The idea in the abstract sounds nice, it's the practicality that puts me off.

I think I'd like to have a pool but not get in it until 8 or 9cm? to stop it slowing down and because I don't want to get all wrinkly. I want to push in water but I don't think I'll want to be stuck in a pool for the whole labour.

I also think with my first I'd feel safer in hospital, esp as the roads near the hospital are one way and always clogged up and even ambulances seem to get stuck, if it was a life or death situation I'd want my baby to be as close to medical help as possible!

I went in the pool when I was 3/4cm (they thought I was more initially...), it was lovely. It was so relaxing, brand new wing of the hospital so they had made the rooms very spa like with mood lighting, different sized/shaped cushions and a choice of music! I was in there for 2 hours and they re-examined me and moved me to the consultant led ward to get things moving as contractions had been speeding up and slowing down for days. I was gutted I had to leave! Going to push for a pool this time!

Wow this thread moves fast! I've not read it all so apologies for what I've missed!

I'm going to leave buying clothes till I know the gender, hopefully next week! Then I may just get a big eBay bundle - I got some great bundles last time! A lot have really good quality designer bits in and you can get 40 items for like £20! DD had a beautiful Ralph Lauren dress, D&G jeans, Boden dresses and all sorts of fab bits from bundles!

Twiglet definitely go on the trip! Sounds fabulous and tell your DH to just suck it up!

SPD is really getting bad now - I'm pretty much in the chair every time I go out now. I can't get comfortable at all this evening. Last time it was all in the front and from 20 weeks onwards, now it's front and back and started at 9 weeks. I'm 16 weeks on Saturday and I am getting very, very nervous how bad this is going to get over the next 24 weeks if it's this bad already.

Re body image I love my pg bod! (I mean the aesthetics, not the symptoms!!) I find it fascinating how much my body can change, how much it can take and spring back, I am in awe of it! I think partly it's because I'm so skeletal the rest of the time it is the only time I have boobs, a bootie and hips. It's also weird watching my face change - I'm the double of my Dad usually but when pregnant I turn into my Mum! its very weird. With DD I found it was very easy to stop the "I'm fat" bullshit, despite her best friend being paranoid about being fat at 5 years old - her mother who is obsessed with diet and weight and celwbrity gossip rags wonders why and where she's getting it from. Apart from that DD never once heard me comment on my looks or talk about diets, size, losing weight or anything like that, I was a model and I showed her my portfolio. I showed her the difference between photos in magazines and ad campaigns and real life, and that Mummy in a magazine looks nothing like Mummy normally, and with the very rare shoot I do now she is stunned when she sees me normally then me on set, then me in print. I showed her how photoshop works and took a normal snap of myself and manipulated it till I was cover worthy. We went through magazines and I showed her the obvious photoshopping (no pores on skin, ridiculously silky hair, no wrinkles, veins or moles etc. She understood and I was so proud when I heard her friend talking about Hannah Montana and how thin and beautiful she was and DD turned round and said it's fake and only a computer drawing, not real Hannah and she doesn't look like that. Now at 8 she has a good base education in it but unfortunately she has her father's whore around now who bounces up and down more than Kerry Katona and is the most insecure self obsessed woman child I've ever heard of and it's such a bad influence on her so I'm trying even harder to counteract it by telling her how much I love her perfect shape and beautiful body. It's so hard trying to promote stuff when others in her life are so opposite. I'm trying to promote independence and feeling secure and confident on her own and in herself, that she can follow any path she wants, that whether she is single, married, gay, straight, a homemaker, shop assistant or a CEO or whatever she chooses, it's all ok, whilst others are pumping into her that she will go to Uni, be a Dr, then meet a handsome prince to rescue her and get married and have babies and stay home looking after her big strong man and placing a lot of her self worth on her looks. Someone who shall remain nameless even told her a boy being a nasty little bullying git to her probably fancies her - great so she'll grow up thinking men who treat her badly love her. She was also told by someone that she's a naughty girl and can't be trusted. Great way to destroy her self confidence. When I asked her to do something she actually said "no I can't because I can't be trusted". I want to shoot him, seriously I do. It sucks and I'm so glad this next one won't have any of that shit being pummelled into them.

Ah yes Posy glad to hear you're feeling better!!

And re consultant led care I'm seeing mine for the first time next week but still see my mw regularly too.

Oh and thrush! I rarely get it down there, maybe twice in the last 10 years, but when I had DD we both had it CONSTANTLY for the whole time I breastfed, almost a year. She had it orally and passed to my nips, we both kept getting treated but one of us would always pass it to the other. Nightmare.

I like the idea of a home birth, but know that with DS, as soon as my labour started I wanted to be in hospital, where they could make the pain better and look after me! Our hospital is really nice though, everyone has a private room with ensuite, and all being well, the midwives leave you alone as much as possible.

Just noticed a typo in the the thread title have we gone back in time because I would have hated to give birth a thousand years ago!!

I'm seeing my midwife for the 16 week appointment, but seeing the consultant separately. I got a hospital appointment the day after I see the midwife, which I presume is for the consultant. It doesn't specify though.

I'm going to go to hospital too. It's the first one and if anything goes wrong I rather have doctors around me. Will be going for the pool though! Warm baths relax me so I'm hoping it will help. The info leaflet I got said there was no evidence that it slowed down labour.

No home birth option for me here, ELCS, already decided at booking in at 6 weeks.

Thanks for linking to that article, it was interesting. I think if I was in the UK I'd go for a home birth on my 2nd (probably not 1st though). Here, although home births do happen, they don't seem to happen much in my area and very few women opt for them nationwide. We don't have the same kind of infrastructure or even the cultural mindset yet, although that is starting to happen. If I was having a homebirth I'd really want to have midwives who do it all the time with me. So, all things considered it will probably be a hospital birth for me, although hopefully if all goes well I'll be able to go home early rather than stay on the ward.

I'll definitely stay at home again for as long as I can before going into labour, although like some of you I'm also a bit worried about the speed of 2nd time labours.

GP appointment made for today, fingers crossed I'll be able to get some kind of treatment for this blasted folliculitis.

Oh, a question. Can anyone recommend a good, non-smelly, preferably odourless, aluminium-free roll-on deodorant? I had been using one with rose oil from the health shop but tbh I just smell like an old lady

*before going into hospital obviously

Am going to be in a hospital cos I'm lucky enough to live within 100 yards of a big one.

It also (hopefully) means I can labour at home until the last minute. Though people have told me that cos its my first I may panic a bit and run into the place faster. But I'll regret it so am going to really try to control myself and stay home.

Unfortunately the hospital had a maternity scandal not too long ago involving a mothers care. People reassure me that since then the whole maternity dept has been overhauled and the inspectors have been in, and that the midwifes are so terrified of anything happening again that they're now super-careful. And the hospital is terrified of further litigation/contraversy. In other words, that I might be safer there than in a hospital who is trundling along happily.

But either way I have no choice. Only hospital for miles and miles. I plan to spend as little time there as possible. This is another reason I dread a C section. Don't want to stay in for days when I can see my house from my window!

In other news, the ligament pain is still ongoing. Its only abdominal, not pelvic, so you can carry on as normal. But my goodness its tiresome. And very difficult at work due to my very physical job.

The Physio at work gave me a big bolt of Tubigrip. Folded double, it makes me look like I'm wearing a fan belt up to my boobs! But immensely supportive and things did improve after that.

She said she'll provide me with a proper heavy duty belt down the line should I need it, but am definately going to ask for a Physio referral from my own hospital next week. Need all the help I can get!

Also got a good tip from another heavily Pregnant nurse. She said to get my consultant to give me a sick note excusing me from night duty for the duration. Brilliant!!!

Random that's a brilliant idea about showing your DD photoshop - I can't believe I didn't think of that as DP is a photographer and will be able to show our bean exactly how it works.

As for telling little girls that boys who are horrible to them fancy them was it a man who treats women he fancies badly by any chance?

Is anyone else getting weird pains when and particularly after walking and sometimes in bed?

The past couple of days it's hurt like below period pain but just above your lady bits/ groin right inside, like you know the feeling when you fall on a monkey bar or something when your little and hit that bone between your legs, but not as intense but constant. And then in bed my coccyx hurt -.-

it doesn't hurt today but I haven't walked anywhere but it was hurting all last night -.-

In other news, I have abdominal pain and can't work out what it is. It feels like really really bad period pain, but it goes round the side and to my back as well. It might just be trapped wind (in which case I actually think if I fart I will fly around the room like a balloon being released) but it's quite painful. There might be another trip to the doctor in my future.

Cross-post with Alita! Mine doesn't sound quite like that but those with inexplicable pains have sympathy!

Sadly I don't have a choice either. Planned CS for me as the force of pushing could cause my bp to rise to a dangerous level. Might have to deliver early around 36 weeks, but I'll try and hold off for as long as possible.

I would say do not underestimate the discomfort that is trapped wind when you're pregnant! I had the same type of pain that almost felt like period pains but on reflection I think it was extreme wind pain.