November 2014- thread 4- 12 week scans and blooming in the second trimester!

[barmybunting]

Hi everyone, we have run out of posts on our last thread so hopefully we'll all find this one easily enough.

Here is to more positive 12 week scans and enjoying our second trimesters, all feeling more human hopefully!

Yes, I feel rather sad that he's obviously upset by having a baby in a previously one-child household, and the only time his parents seem to pay him attention is when he's screaming the house down, so that's what he does whenever he feels like he's 'missing out' on anything now. I don't think they explained anything to him, pre-baby, about what was happening or anything. Sometimes he seems really happy with the baby, but other times he is sulky or throwing a wobbly or angry. It just seems to me like it all could have been avoided with a bit of effort & some careful introduction, IFSWIM?

Am disgusted but not at all surprised by UKIP. They're really quite a radical group. As far as I'm aware, they are now frantically backpedalling & claiming that this is a 'personal view' aired by a UKIP councillor, not a 'party policy'. Pretty damning view of the type of opinions that are being expressed within UKIP's purview though.

lovely to hear all the positive scan news.

I agree that 4 is very young and they are going through so much as that age. I look back and think that we expected a fair bit of dd at that age when in reality, she was still a tiddler! When i go to visit friends with new babies - I tend to spend more time and give attention to older siblings tbh than new baby (as much as i want o have cuddles with he newborn!) My "oddson" ( i am not a christian so wont be a god-parent but am a nominated guardian for a pals wee boy) had loads of prep for his new sister and he found it hard. His nursery were fab in that time with him and made sure he got extra attention. We took him loads for big kid days out and he got extra time with us and DD whom he adores He had to find a way to get out his emotions and needed as much understanding as possible. They really dont always know they are being "little shits" at that age.

Posy - i had heard that UKIP (or some members) are promoting compulsory abortions. It can be a hard decision to opt for a termination for whatever reason and no-one should ever be judged for making that choice. Never mind be forced into it or compelled by law to do it.

But as UKIP seem to be gaining in popularity, that is the problem. When people support them without knowing all their policies - this is how ridiculous changes to the law can be promoted and pushed through. Apologies to any UKIP supporters but to me, their growing support and increasing airtime is hugely concerning.

DD is 7 and very much the centre of our lives. She has been desperate for a sibling for years but still doesnt know i am pg as i want to leave that until i have all my results back. Every family is different and we decided that we wouldnt tell her to get all her hopes up and then if something went wrong / we had to terminate - she would have to cope with that trauma. As i say - each family will do what they think is best in that regards.

Even though she is 7 and thinks that all my blood tests / visits to clinics have been to see if i can have a baby and is excited at the idea of a sibling and is on at her dad to plant a seed of love in me to make a baby - we will still need to prepare her for the monumental change she will face. Even though she may be excited - she will need alot of time and effort to realise what it will mean.

Thankfully though we have a great network of friends who will give her extra love and attention when (if) the baby arrives. We have no family close by to help out so will be relying on the kindness of others alot, especially in the early days.

EEEEEK - it has scare the life out of me even putting that down here!! 15 wks 2 days here so time is moving on!!

'to plant a seed of love in me to make a baby' - this made me giggle

I suppose everyone does what they think is best in their situation & I shouldn't be so judgemental. I get really cross with their approach to the situation - partly because they're not really a unit when it comes to parenting, so they take very contradictory lines with him quite often - but I'm sure people will say the same things about our parenting! Sincere apologies to anyone I might have offended; I'm definitely not commenting on anyone on here.

weeonion, totally agree about UKIP. A lot of DP's friends support them because they support their policies on punitive law, for example, but they're completely unaware of the more radical policies, such as congregational living for those with learning disabilities or special needs (though I believe this is also under review now). It's scary to think that so many people could be voting on issues that they don't even know are being addressed.

Urgh ukip is becoming more and more shocking I reckon I'd go abroad for pregnancy if that became the reality!
We're going green, can't find a good thing to say about any other party!

dsd keeps touching my belly and stuff and saying she needs to keep me safe x)

weeonion 7 is a brilliant age gap - my brother was born when I was 7, he was far enough away that we didn't (couldn't) compete so no sibling rivalry, I was big enough to help when he was a baby, we had a great relationship growing up and now we're both adults he's one of my best friends. And will be 'fairy godfather' to the bean (also not Christians so not doing official baptism and proper godparents). :)

were torn with baptisms... we are both atheists and dps kids aren't baptised but my family is Catholic and so it would seem odd to me if my child wasn't even though I don't believe and I'd have grumbling grandparents. on the other hand I want my child to choose for themselves and hate religion being taught as a fact rather than as part of cultural awareness in schools so maybe I shouldn't do it.

UKIP always say its just a members personal view, don't they? They seem to say it every week these days! They're so staggeringly dodgy I can't even.

The abortion rate for children with Downs is hugely high in the UK though - over 90%, and thats an old number from 1999, long before Harmony tests. Lets face it, its probably even higher now. I could definately see him using that statistic to fuel his freakish little campaign.

Much more chilled out bean today for scan. Brought EDD forward to 10/11/14 dating 13+1. Eek. Also told Facebook today so that means it's really happening!

Isn't it funny how the slightest things can set you off?

Been trying all day to sort out who I issuing me a prescription for antibiotics - saw midwives Thursday last week who said I had a raging UTI and they would arrange a prescription through my GP surgery. Wasn't worried as not in too much discomfort, but as of last night am starting to get really quite uncomfortable & would like to get it treated now. Rang surgery this morning to hear 'Oh, it's not on the system sorry, nothing we can do.'

Spoke to hospital midwife: 'Well I'm looking right at it, so it clearly is on their system.'

Rang GP: 'It's definitely not there, can't help you.'

Rang midwife: 'I'll sort this out.'

Midwife rings me: 'Confirmed with the surgery that they'll get that sorted out for you this afternoon, ring after 3 to double check. Please get in touch if you have any other problems.'

Rang GP. Receptionist: 'No, it's still not on the system. I'll pass you over.'

Curt woman at dispensary: 'Well it's definitely not here so I have no information at all for you. If the midwife spoke to us direct, it would be here."

Me: 'She rang me back and said she'd spoken to someone there and it was all sorted, so I don't understand how that can have happened?'

Dispensary: 'Well it wasn't me she spoke to. I can get a doctor to ring you and discuss why you might need antibiotics?'

Me: 'I know why. It's because of a UTI.'

Dispensary: 'Well I have no information on that here. I can't help you. Thank you for your call.'

Argh! I JUST WANT TO NOT BE IN PAIN WHEN I PEE!

Alita - we didnt baptise / christen DD and my family put no pressure on us to do so. Dp's mum would have liked it if we had- more to have chance to buy DD a white frilly gown tbh and to have a family piss-up. For DD"s 1st birthday - we held a humanist naming day which was so so lovely. We had both sides of the family there with friends. Both DP and I made a speech to her and outlined our committments to her, she got 4 nominated adults who also made speeches for her, grandparents jointly lit a candle and everyone signed messages on leave shaped cards which we hung on a special tree for her (which is currently growing in my folks huge garden but will end up in our forever home's garden - when we get it!). It was such a lovely day - all focused on her and everyone's love for her. Getting a bit teary thinking back to it. Even the devote people who were there thought it was so special as the whole day reflected us and her and didnt have anything attached to it that was about "another' or greater one.

DP and I are atheists and all our familes know this. Our view that it is up to DD to decide what she wants to be, if anything, in the future and she can decide based on her own exploration and reading. She did have a multicultural week in school recently which she loved and quite fancied being a sikh as she thought it sounded the nicest / fairest but did wonder why all of them talked so much about men as leaders and not women.

Again - each to their own but I wouldnt do anything to / for DD that was focused on keeping other people happy.

I'm tearing up reading it! :)

alita go with your gut. If all the parents were dead (sorry!) what would you then?

We're Catholic and are gonna do it, but the school we're sending little one to is multidenominational. They learn about all religions equally. One of our friends kids came home and demanded what the family were doing for Yom Kippur!

But I like the idea of a kid knowing a bit about everything. I wish I'd known more as a kid.

The reason we're baptising is just cos I'm not atheist and will be bringing kiddie to Mass. I'm not that great faith-wise, admittedly, so I doubt it'll be every week, but I'm going to try! Its more cultural than religious for me though, as these things often are.

Not been around as have been on holiday and then went to meet my adorable new niece who is now 6 days old.

Had our 12 week scan and everything is ok, although the peanut seemed to be roaming all over the place so the sonographer had to press really hard and now I feel a little bruised, and not to mention the bruises from the 3 times they tried to get some blood!

Due date has moved to the 9th Nov

My due date has now moved to the 13th November. All fine.

Had a good day yesterday, less so today. Can't wait for the tablets to start kicking in.

Oh twiglet! You poor thing, UTIs are the worst, kept getting them when conceiving and ended up with a really bad one at 6 weeks pregnant, took two lots of anti biotics to clear and I'm making sure I drink heaps to try and stop getting another one.
Know it's hard but just keep on and on until you get those pills, you will feel so much better hopefully very quickly

Twiglet. Uti are just hideous. Really sympathise. Water, cranberry, cystopurin (tastes vile but does the job) can help whilst the pharmacy are messing about although I suspect you may know or have tried that.

I know this has been mentioned a few times and there are mixed views, but for anyone who is interested, I am setting up a Facebook group for us. It's entirely a secret group so won't be visible to anyone other than the members. I do love this thread and will continue to be a part if it, but just want it get to know you all a bit better, and sometimes the way the thread works and moves so fast, it is hard with keeping up with who said what etc. I'm not really sure how reliable private messaging is on here or how it works, so I've set up an email address to run it (seemed safer than plastering my real email address over the net!)

If you would like to be added to the group please email me on [email protected] and I can add you. I'm sure it will take a while for the group to form and people may decide they want to join as time goes on, but hope to see some of you over there soon

Also fantastic to see more positive scan news today- let's hope we're on a good news roll now....

I don't mind joining a facebook group, but really paranoid about it appearing in my feed, although I'm sure it won't?! Can it be called something random and non pregnancy related maybe, for the moment?

Ok Tigsy I think I'd like to join as long as it's 100% not visible to anyone else yet. I don't mind it becoming visible when everyone is happy with it though :)

I hope utis get better! I had an awful one last year it took 5 months to ditch and I felt all delirious at some points! It took 3 types of antibiotics! I think there's a resistant strain around! cranberry juice is key!

Thing with baptisms is that I irrationally want to make sure baby doesn't go to limbo/hell just in case yet I do not believe in God at all and do not want my child to be part of a religion they haven't chosen, sigh.

I agree miss wombat something like "bring on november" or "November ladies".

Facebook group - I wouldn't mind, will email later.

Christening - I'm a hardened atheist, but DD was christened as her paternal family are fanatical Christians, not that they appreciated my compromise the rude entitled bastards. This one will be christened as DD wants to be godmother and have the party for the baby and I'll let it happen to keep her happy. Plus my mother would have a fit if I didn't christen the baby and it keeps her quiet and off my back.

DD (7, 8 this week) has known since 9 weeks and is very involved now, coming to scans, reading a diary of symptoms I'm keeping, learning all about the birds and bees, she gets to pick the name if it's a girl, I pick for a boy, she is getting birthday presents this week from the baby and she had easter presents from him/her, she knows all about the tests and complications and appointments, knows this will be a caesarean like she was but nows about natural birth too, she bought the baby a rattle at the weekend with her own money and bought me a toy monkey with a baby and made a card saying "To Mummy and Minion Love Big Sister" and I'm encouraging her to talk about any worries or feelings and fears. She's spoken about the age gap, about when she's at her wanker father's and the baby is with me, she's worried about that but she's very involved. She takes scan photos to school and has them by her bed too and we've read 3 books on how babies are made. She's more involved than most fathers I know!!

Yes can call it something like that! I promise you it won't be visible though- I know this after being paranoid about another group I was in. If it's secret then nothing will come up on your newsfeed.

Sat here in tears watching the programme on adoption with Nicky Campbell- makes me realise that despite my moaning about sickness etc how bloody lucky I am to be pregnant....