Pregnant after MC due December 14

[Penguin13]

If you're pregnant after a previous MC and due in December 14 this is the thread for you.

If you're an obsessive knicker-checker or just want someone to chat to who knows where you're coming from you'll fit right in.

george sorry to hear about your previous losses, i could have written the bit where you describe not coping, and i can also relate to trying to process bad news before they have actually happened, just to be ready. Have you thought of having some counselling with someone experienced in mc? I saw an amazing lady at my local hospital, and she did help me a lot. What you are going through is unfortunately very common after mc/mmc.
Also, some EPU have some 'walk in' scan although the wait can be half a day. Maybe worth checking if it's available in your area.

I'm having the long awaited and dreaded 8 week scan on wednesday, ready for the next limbo land to start, either another 4 week wait, or when and can I go through another IVF/ICSI. Sending you and all the other ladies here a big hug.
ohhh, and penguin, thanks for the tapeworm image, that made me laugh, after eating another steak, which i have NEVER liked before

Thanks for the lovely messages.

Just after I posted my message I started spotting pinky/brown and getting AF cramps. I've had some nausea and sore boobs but they have been diminishing over last few days so I know what's coming.

The worst bit was having to tell dh again...seeing his face fall, I think he genuinely thought this time would be ok.

In a way, it's a relief that there's no waiting for tests / scans etc and I hope it's over with quickly.

Now I need to start getting used to life as a 3. It's also a relief that we aren't going down the TTC road again but it's going to take some time to accept that all the baby things I did with ds aren't ever going to happen again and I'll never change another nappy, wash little babygros, cuddle a newborn. I didn't enjoy babyhood with ds (he was a difficult baby) and I really regret that now. If I knew it was my only time I would of clung to it and never let go.

Oh George I'm so sorry I hope that you aren't physically in too much pain and that you have lots of RL support. Take care of yourself.

So so sorry George. Hope you and DH are having lots of hugs. X
I get what you mean about it being a relief to be over ttc (this is my last pg either way, hopefully lucky no7, 2ds) so best of luck to you in the future. Anything we can do, let us know x

Well here I am off to London to do battle with the transport gods. Quite glad I don't usually have to get this train. I am armed with my trusty baby on board badge which I feel so self-conscious wearing but keep trying to remind myself it's not for me, it's for my baby. Wearing my scarf long over my tummy so I don't get too many accusatory looks for not yet having the requisite bump!

Chickened out and took my badge off again as I'm feeling pretty ok today so felt like I was abusing the badge!

Lol, Penguin I don't think you'd be "abusing the badge" if you genuinely felt you needed it. You are actually pregnant after all. Glad you're feeling ok though. I hope you managed to make it into work alright.

George thinking of you. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I'm away with work at the moment, and it's actually nice to be forced to focus on other things for a while. I needed distracting.

Hello ladies,
Hope it's OK for me to join this thread. I have just joined MN, because I was becoming INSANE of not being able to talk to people able to understand what I am going through. I have just read this whole thread in one go (thanks Penguin for starting it!), and I can so relate to most of you! I feel like I could have written half of the posts here!
So here's my story: I have one 3 years old DD, and got a MMC last November. It was discovered at my first scan (13 weeks), but the baby measured only 6 weeks with no heartbeat, which means it was dead inside me for about 6 weeks! The worst thing is that even the baby was dead, I still had all the symptoms, including terrible nauseas all day long until about 11 weeks when it started fading away, and no bleeding. So I wasn't worried at all. It was a real shock to be told that baby was dead at my first scan, because I wasn't expecting it at all.
Now I am about 6-7 weeks PG again. This time I am freaking out all the time, especially because I have no symptoms whatsoever (except for the sore boobs, on and off).
Because of the total absence of symptoms, I was pretty sure I had another MMC. I couldn't bare not knowing so decided to go on an early private scan last saturday. It was good and bad news. Good news was there was a strong heartbeat (I wasn't expecting to see a heartbeat), bad news is, the embryo was small (about a week behind) and yolk sac too big. I didn't even know what the yolk sac was before Saturday. I asked the lady what that meant, she was very vague. She told me it can be nothing or it can be bad, it's too early to say. Of course, first thing I did when I got back home was googling "large yolk sac", which was a huge error because now I am really terrified. Apparently, an enlarged yolk sac increases greatly the probability of miscarriage or chromosomic abnormalities in the baby. I have also read loads of happy ending stories with enlarged yolk sac, and I am trying to convince myself that I will be one of those, but my emotions are like a roller-coaster: one minute, I am strong, optimistic and positive and I believe everything will be fine, and the yolk sac thing is nothing, and the next minute, I want to cry because I believe my baby must already be dead inside me. This scan was supposed to be for reassurance, not to make me even more worried!
I think I will go again for a private scan in about 2 weeks time, if nothing happens before that. I can't imagine myself waiting until the 12weeks scan (especially because I know my body is not very good at miscarrying naturally...).
Sorry for the long post, I really needed to talk to people who would understand how agonising this wait is, and how difficult it is "not to worry".
I wish you all the best in all your pregnancies, and I so understand what you are all going through!

Strike schmike. Made it into work 1 minute early. I was so lucky as I walked one stop to get on the bus where it starts and I was the only one on it till the next stop where it got rammed. Felt pret-ty smug let me tell you! The reverse journey won't be quite so much fun as I can't get on at the start of the route but I can take my time a bit more.

Definitely good to have a distraction from thinking about everything Sollers hope you get to stay in a lovely hotel with comfy bed!

I had quite a good commute too Penguin. I mean, it took 1h 45m, instead of the usual 35 mins, but I had an empty overground into Liverpool St, then a bus turned up the minute I got to the bus stop and I got a seat, and then when the traffic finally gridlocked at the Imperial War Museum, I just got off and walked the rest of the way which took about 15 mins and gave me a bit of exercise. Had left very early, so was only 10 mins late.

Welcome melody, you've come to the right place. George, so sorry that it's not working out.

Welcome melody and sorry you're finding yourself in a position to join limbo land group. We all understand where you're coming from, and I hope sharing your story helped to release the fear a little bit. Fx all goes well for you this time.

penguin well done for making it, and on time!

I can't concentrate at work.

Glad you had a good journey President hope the return is similarly uneventful. I used to live in Stratford and work by Liverpool street so I remember those days of a 35 minute commute door to door fondly! Now we live in Bucks so my commute is 2 hours each way. Hoping to work a bit closer to home if when baby penguin arrives.

Paranoid I know how you feel. Whatever I am doing, in the back of my mind and often the front of it I am constantly thinking about the next scan. Only 2 days 9 hours to go but who's counting?

Lawks Penguin, two hours?! Still, I bet Bucks is lovely. Our nearest tube is Seven Sisters so I always get a seat which is nice, and it's straight down to Vauxhall, where I work. Couldn't ask for an easier commute really. Still rather be on the bike though, I think not cycling is definitely contributing to my gloom. I miss feeling strong and in control, a lot! I'm sure I'll get it back eventually, but the next few months are going to be hard.

Melody welcome. I'm so sorry you're stuck in limbo land, it's a horrible place to be. Re trying not to worry, if one more person tells me me 'you can't change anything by worrying' or my personal guilt-inducing favourite 'worrying isn't good for your baby or for you' I seriously am going to give them a slap. Worrying isn't that easy to control, the best we can do is try to manage our fears and get through one day at a time.

melody welcome.

I'm on Half term here (not in UK) and have stacks of things to do both in the house and school work but cannot be bothered with housework and certainly can't concentrate enough to do marking. Just MNing instead!

Hello, please can I join you? Have posted in the over 40s but lots of happy first timers and I don't want to bring them down with my worries!

I have had 6 m/c, most mmc and mostly between 5 and 10 weeks. I am also very lucky to have 2 fab kids.

We always wanted a bigger family but for obvious reasons thought that was never happening and had made peace with that.

Then I found out I was pg a couple of weeks ago and we have been flummoxed ever since! My two kids are soon moving on from primary school so this is very unexpected.

I have lots of complications that need drugs following various multiple miscarriage tests and so I am now on progesterone and asprin and waiting to find out whether i need to inject heparin as I did in my last pg.

As a new thing, i now have high blood pressure so am taking tablets for that. I had spotting on thursday and a scan on fri (6+4) where amazingly we saw a heartbeat. However, I snuck a look at the gp letter that I had to drop to the surgery today and it said measuring 5+3. So now I am freaking out that the dates are out so much and that I got a heartbeat that early OR that the heartbeat is good and this is just slow grower or something else awful.

Had a sarky conversation back from the consultant's secretary but finally secured an appointment with her next Tuesday. She may or may not scan me again at that point but I will be very glad to be in to see her!

So I could be 7+1 or 6 weeks but so far with a heartbeat. Not throwing up yet and I usually do so that freaks me out as well.

Thanks for the welcoming! It might sound incredible but I already feel much better and less stressed after posting my story here. It's incredible how liberating it is to just being able to word ones own fears and feelings. My close friends and family, although full of good intentions, haven't been very good at helping me through this journey. I felt very lonely and not understood until I found that so many of us are going through similar experiences. So thanks for being here and for the support.

I too am unable to concentrate on my work, and find myself procrastinating most of the time...

hello regularbutpanicking. I know many cases of early slow grower that catched up later and were perfectly fine. But I completely understand that after a history of 6m/c, it's impossible not to think about something being wrong. I do that and only had one m/c. Just try to concentrate on the heartbeat and live one day at a time until next Tuesday.
I am also usually throwing up at this stage, and I am not this time, which freaks me out the same as you. Let's try to be grateful to feel good this time, they say each PG is different. Last time I was throwing up but had a MMC anyway, so there's no rule!

True! I also know that once I start throwing up I will wish I wasn't! Good luck with your pg and I hope it all goes well.

Welcome regular, so sorry to hear of all your previous losses. I'm also on heavy meds, progesterone, aspirin, fragmin with their fucking blunt neddles and oestrogen.
melody you are so right about every pg being different, there is just agonising wait and no rules whyyyyy????
Being a stats addict, I noticed that this group is getting quite big. How would you all feel about a stats page like for the 'normal' dec thread?

Welcome regular. Understandable that you feel worried and anxious.

Good idea paranoid . Maybe an extra column for pg/mc history (that sounds awful, but ykwim?). There are so many of who've had losses, it makes me but also glad I have others to go through this experience with. I actually get quite jealous of people who can go through a pg without worrying about

Hi and welcome Regular. I'm sorry for all your previous losses, no wonder you are understandably nervous. I don't know much about measuring behind I'm afraid but having seen the heartbeat is a good, positive sign.

I am definitely in the SO glad I don't have MS camp. I know it's supposedly a good sign but I think going on family history and my last pg no sickness and only a little queasiness is normal for me.

Pulling the stats together sounds like a great idea but I confess that is way beyond my technical know how. Anyone know how to do it?

I am not having a very good food day. I just scoffed a massive ham and jarslberg white baguette. Blorp. This would be less bad had it not been preceeded by a big cookie, a small yoghurt and a massive blueberry muffin Normally I'm quite good at picking healthy snacks to balance out the sheer volume I need to consume but not today! The afternoon's offerings are a satsuma, a banana and another small yoghurt. I need to get a grip as I have clearly consumed about a million times the daily caloric needs of my raspberry sized embryo!

engels ikwym, it's difficult to talk about it as it's such a taboo and yet, it's good to be able to get it out. I don't know how I'll cope without this group.

I've just received a little jewellery token to remember my lost baby by. EDD would have been about now.

penguin I've just devored a disgusting pizza from Tesco and still hungry

I'll get to making the spreadsheet tonight, too fiddly on phone and can bring myself to use work PC for that. Let me know of any idea / special field requests.

Need to do some work, can someone please confiscate my phone?

• CAN'T bring myself ..

Welcome Regular

Penguin I was just getting distracted (for millionth time today) thinking "should i be feeling sick right now?" and then i read the words in your post "baguette" and "blorp" and there it is.. QUEASE.