June 2014: Thread 6! The 2nd trimester and Christmas shenanigans!

[GillyBillyWilly]

Boom!

My results were 1/30,000ish & my immediate reaction was 'hang on weren't other people's hundreds of thousands?' - I think it's natural you don't want the 1 there at all no matter how much they write 'low risk' next to your name. It might sound worrying but if you think 1/700odd is 1 out of an entire School it really is quite low.

Bee the NHS is being starved of funding is not a happy place to work at the moment, lots are losing money, jobs etc & it can make giving that extra care & attention v tough - plus some don't have bedside manner as a strength. It really is no problem changing GPs people do it quite regularly - is is it a man? If you're worried how it will come across just say you'd like a female GP.

It is very tough living abroad & very tough being pregnant so I can imagine it's extra stressful. Thank goodness your English is so good - I saw a Polish lady in labour alone & she couldn't speak English & it looked such a terrifying situation to be in.

Also if it's any consolation - I had prenatal depression last time & this time & around 20 something weeks it just went overnight & I felt great to the end (well mentally anyway!). Don't underestimate hormones.

Good luck Lady, they do a really detailed scan at the FMC (looking for similar things that the NHS do at 20 weeks). In particular they looked at blood flow in the heart which apparently is another indicator of Down's, nasal bone and stomach. They picked up of my placenta potential issue before it was picked up by the NHS - probably just because of time and their 'tick list' is longer earlier on.

Maybe it's because I'm hormonal, maybe it's because it's almost Christmas, maybe it's because my husband left early Saturday and I won't see him until tomorrow afternoon but.... I am feeling the love for you all right now! What a great, supportive bunch you are. Just reading the Down's stuff and the health visitor stuff and the feeling crap stuff - makes me grateful to Mumsnet and to all of you. Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

Haha I feel the same Sarah :)

LadyG Thinking of you, I hope despite everything seeing your wee baby on the screen again is a positive experience and that the wait isn't too agonising. I dreamed about someone drowning in a swimming pool full of blood last night so our pregnancy experiences and fears certainly are playing havoc with our subconscious!

Sleepy Yeah, maternity leave is more generous back home, too, and most women still stay home for 3 years but thankfully my job here is quite good and I can take a career break for 3 years if I want to, so at least that will give me options.

I love NI, we've just bought a house here and all, but DH's family, while lovely, is scattered and a bit odd with problems and secrets and we're pretty much on our own. I've been here 5 years now and I do like it here but have to admit I'm thinking of moving back home when kid is around 6 and school age.

Their June babies so will be starting school at 4 (I think). We think of moving but my little one is approaching 2 rapidly & I feel we're no closer to decisions than a couple of years ago.

I've been having the weirdest dreams. Water & drowning type dreams are apparently the most common pregnancy ones - I've been on a lot of sinking ships lately!!

Ahh can't help but correct myself: they're not their :)

Hi everyone!

I've just been catching up on all the chat...

I'm another one who is feeling pretty crappy at the moment. I'm a bit behind most of you (due 30th June) so am only just 13 weeks today and feel as sick as ever!! I was actually sick this morning for the first time throughout the whole pg - I know I should be grateful I've only actually been sick once but I've felt sick for weeks and am desperate to just feel normal again! Also got a cold/cough now.

And on top of that and general 'poor me' hormones, I've found out that my SIL who had a MC just before we found out we were pg, doesn't want to see us on Christmas day as it'll upset her too much. What does everyone else make of that? I'm quite upset by it to be honest, but I don't know if I'm being selfish? I am sensitive enough that I wouldn't have rubbed it in her face so it upsets me that she just can't even be around me

Sorry for the moan - on the plus side I managed to drag myself out of bed this morning at the crack of dawn to get the Christmas day food shopping done before it got busy Hope everyone else is looking forward to the festivities!

Bumblebee And I thought all those waves crashing over my head in my dreams last night were caused by the storm and the wind lashing my windows! House with direct line of the sight to the sea = lovely. But interesting when stormy!

Oh, and I'm a big hippy at heart and also think 4 is way too young to start school - we have a local Steiner School here and I am thinking about that a lot.

Putting the cart before the donkey, as it were!

Must be something in the air at the moment jessie 'cos I am feeling rubbish and poor me at the moment.

Speaking from experience I'm afraid I can understand where your sil is coming from as I had a mc when my sil was 7 mths pg and I really struggled. However, she is also being a little selfish and not thinking of the extended family especially at this time of year. It's a tricky one I'm afraid x

Thanks Biffle I know I probably shouldn't take it personally as I know she must be going through a really hard time of it at the moment - I'm just finding it hard to not take everything personally just now!

Hope you feel better soon too - think I'll have a cup of tea and some chocolate to try to cheer me up x

Oh I'm joining the feeling-rubbish club today. Just absolutely shattered! And sick.. Don't know why... We're meant to be seeing family this evening but I just want to stay in bed and feel sorry for myself.

Also, my tummy feels funny over the last few days - just really really tight! Feels extremely uncomfortable and I wobble around like 8 months pregnant woman.. Anyone else feeling this way?

My sil basically insisted we couldn't visit my husbands parents over entire Christmas period last year (ie my little one couldn't visit his grandparents) as she'd be there. Tbh I think that sort of behaviour is extremely attention seeking & selfish. If your sil can't bear to see you - fine - then she should have come up with another excuse & stayed at home with her immediate family not make it about you. But with the sil I have - I am extremely biased!!

Oh Jessie, don't be upset. Things will be tough for her right now, I'm sure she'll come around but try not to take it personally. It's very hard being around pregnanct woment when you have mc'ed, even people you love.

On schools, my DS started at 4 and 4 months (May birthday) and he was completely ready. Really needed more of a challenge and more social interaction than he got at nursery. There have been bumps in the road but more from the 4 year old boys finding it hard to sit down and listen perspective and apart from that he's settled really well. In year 1 now and doing well. I still cried and cried on his first day though!

Thanks lady

Bumblebee I think we have similar SILs

lady how'd you get on at fmc? I have my scan tomorrow (no harmony results though as they are delayed). I'm hoping I feel a little reassured from their "in depth" scan. It'd be good to hear how you found it today.

Does anyone else suddenly feel like keeping it all a secret? We hadn't told anyone at all, then last weekend told PIL and told my dad yesterday. Now they know, and they are getting excited about telling everyone - they are currently sworn to secrecy - I don't want want anyone to know! I've no idea what has come over me. I've been bursting to tell everyone and anyone, and now we are approaching the day we agreed (Friday after Ive told my mum) I have this overwhelming urge to keep the whole thing secret! Help! What's happening to me! It's as if I feel I'm losing control. So illogical!

sleepy YES! my stomach is really sore today and feeling quite tight but that's just the inside - the outside is still wobbling!

lady another big yes - I actually dread seeing people now that I have not seen for a while and letting them know. I kind of feel that its all a bit silly (and a little bit not real!)

I have suddenly become a bit nervous about everyone knowing - because things haven't been great and I've had so many problems, and I am really getting worried about the 20 week anomaly scan (2 weeks, eek! ).

I feel like everyone will think I'm a failure if something is wrong and be like, well, why did we make such a fuss over you. Because my head is stupid.

Just had a call back from the midwife and FINALLY someone has suggested someone look at my cervix, as she reckons it might be cervical erosion and thinks someone should've had a look up there, anyway. She asked me my GP and when I gave his name she paused and said - oh, well then... So maybe my impression of him as a bit rubbish was accurate.

jay I felt like that, after we told my family I just wished we hadn't it was all a big let down because they all just talked baby and pregnancy and I felt like I didn't actually exist, just a vessel to carry the ever awaited grandchild. BUT, pleased to say telling friends was total opposite and lovely and I'm so pleased it's out in the open. I was one of those people who's mother only talked about 'the wedding' from the day we were engaged until 6 months after our big day, so now it's just 'the baby' 'the grandchild' 'when I was pregnant etc. I find it so frustrating!!

lady hope you got on ok today. Thinking of you.

And jay best of luck for tomorrow

Sorry to everyone who's feeling down or sick. My advice is to stick your PJs on and have a mug of horlicks, and maybe a satsuma! I flipping love satsuma's :) Maybe watch a Christmas film - but prob best have tissues at the ready.

I just got home to a letter with our nuchal blood results. Letter says age related risk is 1:730 but individual risk based on combined results is 1:100,000. I'll take that as a nice Christmas pressie!

So I guess this confusion over results in the 00's and 000's and 00,000's is down to the difference between pure age related risk and combined individual risk. I'm 31 so age related (1:730) gives a result in the lower end of the scalndjust still low risk and individual risk once everything is taken account of, is in the upper end of the scale - if that makes sense.

Maybe some places give you just one result and some places both, hence the differences people are experiencing?

Happy anyway, can't wait to tell DH

Just had mine too and also low risk. phew!

On train heading back from London. They were very, very delayed so I was hanging around for 3 hours! So Jaykay I would def advise ringing before you set off. Not really possible for me since it's a 90 minute train ride. I was stressing due to the weather as well and took an early train to make sure I was there.

The scan itself was very good, very detailed...much more so than the NHS. They checked loads of things, it was more like a 20 week scan in that way. Again all of the measurements looked really good, nuchal, heart, kidneys, nasal bone all good. But the bloods still came out wonky so the risk has improved to 1 in 333. Feel happier about that but not com,pletely reassured so we are having the Harmony test done so now on the Two Week Wait! The Doctor said he's not worried but in my situation he would want to rule it out. Luckily the other Trisomies are very low risk, it's just Down's.

So on way back but absolutely knackered. And really cross with my husband. He didn't come with me as needed to be there to pick DD up from nursery but he hasn't bothered to reply to my text or answer his phone. He can be thoughtless sometimes. Train delayed so probably won't get back until 9:30. Shattered.

Really pleased you've had some good news lady Hope you're train isn't delayed too long and you can get home x

Just catching up now and loved Sarah's post - what a lovely sentiment and one I share.

Jess - sorry to hear about your SIL - must be tricky all round . Does it mean you miss out seeing your family? If so I don't think that's fair - I have had 2 mc and they are hard but sometimes its better to just carry on and have a cry later. That said I didn't have anyone close to me that was pregnant at the time so who knows.

Like an idiot went Christmas shopping after work as Ds saw Santa on Sunday and asked for a new toy that he hasn't mentioned before. Took a while but found it in the end. Just on my way home - so hope dinner is ready when I get there!

3hours? wow that is late!

so far we've been twice and been seen on time both times.

FX we'll be on time tomorrow. We unfortunately have the 9am appointment, so they shouldn't be running too late. Alarm is set for 5am....urgh!