October 2013: Newborn snuggles and waddles to the finish line

[FeministInTraining]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

Thanks for posting slippers. My niece had really bad reflux as a new baby and had gaviscon or something similar I think with every feed and could only be held upright but Thomas isn't sicky so I don't think it is that. Will ask the midwife tomorrow though, thank you.

orange - yep, from birth onwards.

Someone had bought it for us also and it was a blessing on day 3 when we realised wind was causing his discomfort.

Another tip for wind, if their muzzle turns blue-ish then it's a good indication of wind!

That's exactly what I thought and why I ruled out reflux but they aren't sick at all with silent reflux. It comes up and goes back down again, effectively burning them twice :( I hope it's not though, for your LO's sake!

Meant to add that DS1 was quite a sicky baby but was never bothered by it - a happy spitter as they say in America!

Hi ladies, hope those of u persevering with bf Orange flyer even if struggling have a better day, small steps, try and take each day as it comes, as shire says it def helps speaking to someone who sympathises and is more calm/laid back about it. Sometimes common sense dissappears when the specialists are advocating what they believe is best!

Got mw in a bit at 41wks exactly! Having bh's through night and twinges today but am now fully expecting to go at least till this bloody storm hits (sun/mon) we are in south somerset and it's predicted to be quite bad, brilliant DH has secured/tidied the garden and I'll make sure candles, torches and camping stuff is to hand!

I want a storm up here too...I love a good storm.

Shire that's great news about Al back to his birth weight. I don't think Alexandra has gained any weight if I'm honest she doesn't look like she has if anything looks thinner

Orange I'm the same I really don't want to give up bfeeding, I want it to happen for us. Everytime I get stressed and dp says "let's do formula" something stubborn inside me refuses to give up and accept defeat.

Plus I've lost 5lbs in 2 days through bf i presume

Threeblondies good luck with the mw appointment today.

neen that is Apauling, I honestly am disgusted by your treatment. Dogs are treated better, and as for the bitch next door if the midwife was more available I would have demanded she was kicked out... I'm sure it was the least of your worries. Hope baby is ok.

sanj again.. What can I say, just shocking that govt are still trying to close wards and make cuts. Your situation proves this should never happen, not one woman should have to endure what you and neen have.

Last night I had more irregular contractions making me feel like I was about to go into labour, felt like I had elastic bands around my stomach and baby was stabbing me with daggers from the inside. Woke up to minor cramps, but I think I passed my plug but it wasn't very bloody.

clapham how are you doing?

orange Ailla used to arch her back during feeds, would scream, and would try to bring her knees up to her chest, but when I tried to burp her I never got a single burp out! It wasn't with every feed, but often with the evening feeds (apparently gas can be worse in the evenings which might explain why Thomas is fine again today). I got DH to buy some infacol and now she rarely does the back arching (still does occasionally) and I pretty much always get a big burp out of her within 30 seconds of burping her. Would definitely recommend trying it. The health visitor said that it works for some, not for others, but that it is something you need to persist with because it has a build up effect where the more you use it, the more effective it is (can't think of the correct terminology). So I use it with every feed (even those during the day) and regularly get burps during the day/even if I forget to use it for a feed.

neen congratulations! Although very scary and not ideal, I am glad you're making up for it with newborn snuggles now. I would've wanted to punch next doors visitors too. How flipping rude.

sanj I cannot believe you're still waiting! The staff are probably pissed off with the situation too, but reminding them regularly how annoyed you are might hopefully make a difference to get the ball rolling!

In the Roxvox household we have had a slight progression; A will now sleep next to me (she'd only sleep on me before).

DH has just popped out to get McD's breakfast

still here at 40+4 with even more pains and aches... and no signs of anything happening whatsoever. properly depressed now... orange I love your dream and hope you are psychic... please come and visit me today - perhaps it will send me into labour as per your dream?

congrats neen and sorry it was such a negative traumatic experience. which hospital was it? so scary... do we live in the third world?

sanji I'm running out of words... honestly...

hearing these last two accounts, I really want this labour behind me now. I also now get really sharp pains in my loins when I move, since last night. Excruciating and they make me scream from time to time. Is it what you ladies with SPD had?

blondies good luck with your mw appointment today. Have you decided if you want the sweep then?

Hope everyone is having a better day with your lovely cuddly babies, although I know how hard and demanding they are at the same time xxx

Multi mam compresses. Have worked brilliantly. Lansinoh worked on one side which was cracked. But for some reason didn't work on other. But multi mam has done a good job. It's been posted before but thought I'd repost for those who can't read the thread as much

So I have now had a 4 person deputation including a consultant. I assume the others were there as witnesses, this is the first doctor I have seen since being here.

They explained they were very busy and had to prioritise people in labour.

Thanks, I had worked that out for myself, I'm not stupid.

What they couldn't explain is why I had been told that the hospital wouldn't reopen until they had cleared some of the backlog. And I was number one in the queue of the backlog and haven't been cleared. The hospital is now open by the way.

The consultant said that they would try and fit me in today, but couldn't promise anything. She said they would rush me through though, rather than breaking my waters, giving me 4 h to get into labour and then get me on the drip, they would do both simultaneously. They would then proceed to EMCS if things didn't progress.

I said I would absolutely not agree to EMCS just to speed things along. Now I am worried they are going to send me in that direction just to speed me out of there. Last time I was 24 h on the drip before the birth. I can guess they wouldn't want that in current busy circumstances.

I said I'd lost all confidence in trying without an epidural cos of the state of my head right now after 4 nights of being strung along. They said no problems, of course I could try that. No, I said, you weren't listening to me, my state of mind has been so affected by this situation I no longer even want to try. I'm a mess right now, the idea of coping with pain when I can't cope with this stupid situation is too much to deal with.

Anyway, I was left with 'we haven't forgotten you, but we can't promise you anything either'.

Separately, I also had a moan to the midwife about my bay, it was a shitty little one in a ward of 5 with no window, the other 4 are at least a third bigger. I asked to be moved to a private room, which they have now done, so at least I now have a private room with bathroom and a window. Unfortunately it has worse 3G connectivity though, which is annoying!

So that's the latest from me. Same old same old.

Hi!! I have caught up, my achievement for the day. I won't remember much now though so apologies...

Sanj I hope things get moving for you, sounds so ridiculous that you would be left like that.

Neenie at the point of having painful contractions I really would have shouted to the rude visitors to shut the F up (although I ran out of energy to speak at the end!) Congratulations, sorry it wasn't the birth experience you planned.

MrsH and Flyer you are doing so well (hope that doesn't sound patronising) and it sounds like your LOs are quite happy aside from feeding gripes so I hope you're not being too hard on yourselves.

The second night home was a nightmare for us. My nipples were so sore I didn't want to feed anymore (R was pushing me away or feeding for 2 mins falling asleep and waking screaming again) and the only teat we had was the Medela calma which he hated and wouldn't suck from. Tried using a syringe and he took it but still cried. Eventually settled after 6 hours. DP was amazing though and we ended up in hysterical giggles at one point because we didn't know what to do.

In the last few nights we've turned a corner and R has slept from 11pm to 8.30am waking twice for feeds and going back in his Moses basket (this makes me sooo happy). Things that helped in case they work for anyone else:
Rolled towel to incline mattress slightly (thanks thread ladies!)
A dummy- I decided if anyone judged me to my face about giving him one I would make them regret it! DP always said he didn't want to give our baby one. On the disaster night he was googling for 24hr supermarkets and suggested we all get dressed and go to buy one (because there was no way I was staying at home alone with a screaming baby!). We don't use it much now (mainly during nappy changes) but it helped a lot to get us feeling human again.
Expressing- in the evening I now feed R and then express from the same side. 15 mins gives me 5oz which I split into 2 feeds. He's started finishing the bottles now though so I will increase the amount. DP does one of the night feeds. I still wake but feel more relaxed.
When he was bing difficult, having LBC on low really helped. R not phased by noise and makes me feel less alone when DP falls asleep. Anything to relax myself seems to help.
Burping- MW told me BF babies don't always need it and not to worry when I asked why he wasn't burping. She should have pointed out that as my milk increased this could change. I have fast let down and R often needs re latching as he pulls away. He gulps and does big burps when he is sat upright for long enough. Even when he looks asleep with milk running down his fat cheeks!
You may have tried all this and it didn't work. I tried many thread suggestions on the bad night that didn't work- eg. hot water bottle to warm up Moses basket, swaddling. But something might help someone.

Oh and the crying, this thread has been so amazing for letting me (and therefore DP) know what to expect. He's great. I didn't get rush or love in the way people describe until yesterday. Day 6. I went to collect take away. Was gone for 15 mins, felt strange. Suddenly panicked that something could happen to me and R would b crying for his mummy or be hungry and I wouldn't be there. Reassured myself and then sobbed on DP later that loving R hurt too much.

Massive hugs to those SFW. By the time I went into labour at 40+4 I was convinced I would be pg forever and hated getting messages from people. One friend who went overdue said if its any consolation you will forget the extra days waiting when the baby comes. Then she said I know it's probably not any consolation but I promise it's true. She was right. to you all xx

I've missed stuff and waffled on about my baby. Always said I wouldn't be that mum.

Love to you all, this thread has been so helpful x

Ug, if there is one thing worse than being constipated, its being constipated with piles. And if there is one thing worse than being constipated with piles, its being constipated with piles, a newborn and a toddler. Trying to have a crap before dora the explorer finishes as newborn is asleep and ds will start licking her the moment the adverts come on - joy!

sanj and neen, another who is appalled at your treatment - just shocking. sanj you wanted an early induction because of concerns over placenta didn't you? Are you and baby being monitored reguarly. I would really start kicking up a shit storm if I were you - ask to see the head of midwives, consultant, whatever and really get angry - I'm sure those that are managing to get a bed are doing this! neen hope you are ok - you may want to think about asking for a birth debrief once you are up to it, as it can help to answer questions and process what happened. Enjoy baby - you have an exciting birth story for her!

feminist no judging got a dummy here. Isaac has one because of having dd to look after as well I can't let him use me for comfort. As in, I can't have him attached to me all the time so he's generally only using me for food. Occasionally for comfort if I have time.

bowlful @ dd licking the baby!

Bowlful I'm with you on the constipation and piles it's awful. Mine are bleeding sorry tmi there.

I'm really struggling today I feel all I do is sit and struggle breast feeding then when it's finished I have an hour to myself before restarting the whole shitty process over again. Why won't my baby eat, she cries in the evening for ages tried infacol and doesn't seem to do anything.

I love her she's so cute and adorable but honestly I'm finding this motherhood so overwhelming and can't see when things will improve or when I can start feeding less....The days are so long at the moment

To those still waiting.

I mean ds bowlfull

Clapham, I'm with you with the loin pain, it's agony. Maybe our babies are waiting for this massive storm to try and make things even harder for us when the time comes.

Neen, congratulations on the baby. Definitely complain about your experience though. Terrible. Glad it's behind you now.

Sanji - I'm thinking of you today, I really hope they fit you in. At least you're in a private room though so things are looking up (trying to find a scrap of info from your post to be positive about).

Just back from walking the dog in the hope of kicking things off, just have pelvis ache now though.

I Seem to have been losing the mucus plug over the past few days, I googled it because I wasn't sure, but from what I gather it means nothing until the bloody bit pops out which there's no sign of. Hopefully soon!

Licking is the least of my worries hayle - the boy is a yob .

Oh flyer, I wish I could fast forward you a few months, as I know it doesn't matter how many people tell you it gets easier, you won't believe it until it happens. Evening fussiness in babies is really common - tiredness, frustration at slower milk flow, cluster feeding to stock up for overnight, wind - all conspire to make even the most chilled baby turn into a wailing banshee! I'm going to say again that it does get easier. And honestly I think most women feel completely overwhelmed by motherhood, but most keep it to themselves as this is supposed to come naturally to us. Are you getting out of the house much?

No dummy judging over here, were using one on and off for Harrison, mainly in the evenings when he's a pain to get to sleep but he seems to sleep well in the daytime and night time without it just the evenings he's not keen on.

Thanks for all the advice. Interesting about silent reflux, sounds horrible. and that wind is often worst in the evenings and that infacol is something to build up not a one off. All useful nuggets, thank you. We do have some in a bag mil gave me and yes it does say from birth so will give that a go.

Sanji when can your dp be there? Hopefully he will have the strength and energy to make sure they don't try to rush you through the system and do anything you don't want even if you can't face dealing with them. That really isn't on. Although I wouldn't blame you for wanting it over quickly and as painlessly as possible now you absolutely shouldn't have anything forced on you.

Bowlful sorry to hear you are suffering but your post made me laugh and it made Thomas' head jiggle about as I am feeding him.

Was good to have a visit from my best friend. Her DH took their little girl to the park because she has a cold they didn't want to spread, she bought gifts and didn't stay long - Good Visitor. She will be Thomas' godmother. Trying to decide on the two men still.

I've been a bit slack on my lactulose (prescribed after my tear) and the last two days pooing has been sooo painful and its not even been that hard. must keep it up until I'm more healed. interesting that my mw told me I'd be offered a cs with next baby because of the degree of my tear. not sure how I feel about that.
bowlfull I totally have to admit that I suddenly really needed a poo yesterday but H had just woken up needed to eat so I fed him on the toilet!!! haha, I didn't know what else to do!!!

flyer I hope you feel better soon. at 3 weeks, I'm just about starting to enjoy being a mum most of the time. definitley been so different to how I expected. We're settling into more of a rountine and life feels very slowly like its getting back to normal.

I laboured for 8 hours on the antenatal ward, I just had to not care what the other women thought of my noises. I wasn't allowed to labour suite until I was 4cm (or bleeding in my case! !) I didn't think much of it at the time but I suppose not ideal.

neenie congratulations but what a horrid experience, I can't believe they were laughing rather than getting you help.

sanji, I can't believe how you're being treated, it's terrible.

Hugs to those SFW, the emphasis on the F just now I'm sure!

flyer, I could have written your post. I'm finding everything so overwhelming and hard just now. I don't know if we're getting the feeding right, I don't seem to have a let down, no tingling or leaking at all. No evidence of milk other than the nappies but is it enough? I don't even have any concept of full or empty breasts, they don't seem to change.

This has to get easier, I'm not sure how long I can keep it up if it doesn't. She is lovely but I feel like I'm failing her and I'm not cut out for the 24/7 selflessness that this involves.

Haha roofio, that's what I call multi tasking but how did you wipe you bum?

Soup snap with regards to the selflessness. I'm glad I'm not some freak of nature and these feelings are 'normal' so to speak.

Roofio I agree with your comment about not expecting motherhood to be this way. I obviously had rose tinted spectacles on!

Haha feeding whilst pooing classic I love it