Graduated Elderberry Pavlovas - Thread 7

[Cavort]

Newly diffed right through to new Mums. A thread for the over 30's expecting their first baby.

You sound like an awesome mum to me Lol.

You sound like a fab mum to me too lol!!!

Also for what its worth I plan on using one so that makes me just as bad

Ok realise I'm banging on but I think that in a 7 day period my OH manages to use on average 12 pairs of pants and what seems like 74 mismatched socks......is this usual?

Aw thanks girls. Think the wine helped yesterday and I feel better today. Or it could be the fact that I'm not speaking to him which feels liberating
Off to lunch with a friend (without him-ha!) and then off to have a drink with lovely sister in law as I was meant to go out to celebrate her birthday yesterday but due to dickhead issues I was not in a mood to go out!

Re the washing mother I would definitely go on strike for a week!

Dummy sounds like an excellent idea and I would totally use one, just that Victor refuses to cooperate.

mother I have some suggestions where to shove the hoover the next time your OH complains about the cleaning. The cleaning that he hasn't done.

Mother - could be worse, mine doesn't seem to go through enough pants and socks in a week

Lol - I firmly believe that Mum usually knows best what's right for her and her baby so if its working for you don't worry yourself what other people might think.

purple that makes me shudder too....men huh

I've discovered if I pick them up from the floor and put them in the laundry basket he gets new ones out but if I leave them where he's dropped them he wears them again although to be fair to him I blew my top about the underwear situation and he had been a bit better recently. It does feel like I live with a 9 year old sometimes though.

purple mine has a 'floordrobe' I basically live with a smelly stroppy teen!

I am currently in mouring.......for the loss of my belly button!!! Its not yet an outy but its flat which looks odd manky.

Mother I guess it's better that he changes them though, it would be worse if you were only washing one pair per week. With regards to the floordrobe, they would also go in the bin. In civilised society, any item discarded on the floor are clearly trash and will be disposed of accordingly. I won't be putting up with Elodie's clothes/mess left on the floor so why would I put up with DH's? The same goes for the rest of the house. For example, when DH leaves his work shoes out wherever he takes them off rather than putting them in the shoe cupboard, I simply hide them, and then the next morning when he is running late and manically looking for his shoes, I just keep saying that if he put them back in their dedicated place then he would know exactly where they were. I found I only have to do that a few times before he starts to put things away rather than search the whole house next time he wants them. I realise I sound completely evil but I am a tidy person and my life is absolutely too short to tidy up other people's mess.

Lol glad you're feeling better after We gave Elodie a dummy when she was about 4 weeks. She only has it when I want her to sleep and generally she spits it out once she's asleep. I did feel a bit guilty at the time but now I think it's a valuable sanity-saving device and I would rather she had a dummy which can be removed than be a thumb sucker.

Purple my bellybutton is still like the Grand Canyon. I wonder if they will ever return to normal?

Elodie glugged a massive 7oz at her dream feed last night and then slept until 5am. I've just got to work out how to get her to take that much every night when some nights she only wants 3oz, even if we wake her up.

Lol I caved in on the third night. He only uses it as a soother when he's sleepy or when I'm trying to stall a feed ie if out and about.

There's supposedly a risk of nipple confusion if you give them too young but H has been fine. There's even evidence to support the use of them as babies with dummies are apparently less likely to be effected by cot death.

I'm totally fed up today. I have a fractious overtired baby and an angry DP. Plus DSS is here and keeps manhandling baby and kitten and we had a visit from DBil and his gf that DP knew about but didn't tell me.

All ok in itself but with angry DP it's impossible all because I fed H then went for my weekly proper shower (hair wash and everything instead of usual sink/showerhead in bath wash). H woke up very quickly because he wasn't being held and srarted crying while I was drying my hair. After 10 minutes I went downstairs to help. I shouldn't have said it but I did :" he's not hungry".

Well he wasn't. Cue a tantrum from DP about how all H wants is my boobs and how it's all my fault (for breastfeeding) and he'll only be comforted by me and that's the way I nade it on purpose...

I have had enough. Now hiding upstairs with H so I can feed him in peace and he won't be woken up by them playing computer games.

Who's still exclusively breastfeeding? The PMT is still here and combined with everything else I have nursing aversion. Am seriously losing my patience with it and tempted to mix feed in the daytime. But I don't want to make a decision while I'm annoyed and hormonal.

Now you see why I stayed away (rant, moan) :)

Mother I know what you mean! My belly button went very flat, and was occasionally out enough to squish it which I found oddly addictive :)

Mine's baxk to normal now with a few brown bits thrown in for good measure!

Brave your OH does have an undeniable point about the breastfeeding relationship and I think a lot of men feel pushed out/jealous, but surely that's something he just has to get over as it's doing Horatio so much good, rather than wanting you to give it up? I think it's important that both parents make joint decisions affecting the child's wellbeing, but if he tantrums you into giving up BFing before you are ready yourself then you will always resent him for it.

I am still EBFing and to be honest I have good days and bad days with it. The good outnumber the bad, and it's much easier now than it used to be in the early weeks so I figure I will probably stick with it until weaning at least. And I can't begin to imagine the hassle of getting up to make a bottle at 4am. Is Horatio still feeding frequently? Elodie will have an occasional cluster feed, but she generally feeds for 20 minutes max and goes 3ish hours between feeds during the day now and can go 5-6 hours if she's having a very long nap, so it's quite easy to plan showers etc. around her feeding. I do know what you mean though and there have been many days (usually during growth spurts) when I have considered mix feeding or throwing in the towel completely. I just think it's a personal decision and you are right to wait until you are feeling 'sane' to make it. I hope if you do decide it's because you want to rather than pressure from your OH.

I'm EBFing and planning to continue at least til weaning. Although it will be significantly more complicated soon, as I'm going back to work in 2 weeks. Dh is very supportive though.
If you want to mix feed then sure, do it - but don't do it just because your DP is throwing a tantrum. It's what's best for the baby that matters at the moment and Dp will just have to deal with it.

I'm EBFing, I struggled too hard to get to this point to give it up just when I've got the hang of it. Do what YOU feel is right for you and your child, he doesn't have a really valid point, he's just being difficult from the sound of it. My OH has a fabulous bond with Lucy, me feeding her has made no difference at all. Do you think it would placate him if you expressed off one bottle a day that he could give him maybe?

For what it's worth we have the opposite here where OH sometimes tells me I'm not 'allowed' to give up BFing. How he thinks he can control MY breasts I don't know. They're all twats in their own special way aren't they.

managed to pull a thigh muscle getting out of the bath, so my hips and now one thigh are swrewed.....I am falling apart. Even walking is an issue now.

Sorry for ignoring previous posts!

re BFing an EBFing I agree, do what feels right for you, thr hubbys can like it or lump it.

I agree on BFing. It needs to be your choice and not his as you are the one doing it. I also plan to do it for at least 6 months but would like to continue with one or two feeds a day even after that. Hopefully I will have enough milk and baby will continue to love it!

Ouch Mother that sounds painful :( hope it's easing up...

The BF thing is now just a metaphor for our relationship. It's crumbling more and more. I'm mad at him for his total lack of emotional support and frankly I'm being a bitch by trying to tell him what is making me so unhappy.

Switching to ff would have such little impact now anyway. I could express a feed every day but since my supply settled a few weeks ago I've been suddenly unable to express more than a couple of ounces. It takes several feeds to get 4 oz which isn't even enough for one feed. Very frustrating. If I thought it would fix everything then obviously I'd do it tho.

Sorry for being a miserable cow.

bear you're not being miserable! He is the one who sounds like he is pushing all your buttons in an attempt to make you incredibly unhappy! How were things before the baby? Better? Did he help more -act like a normal human being then? Is it possible to talk to him about things or will he go all caveman defensive and grunt replies-- ?

Leg is still sore, can't believe I pulled a muscle standing up in the bath, I mean really! Wtf is my body up to! It's pretty pathetic! Means getting up/rolling over is even harder plus if I want to move that leg when sat or laying I have to do it by hand or the muscle kills! Walking is okish, just have to be careful of uneven ground etc, should make dog walking interesting Don't want to make it worse by walking her but my OH is at work an if I don't walk her she'll drive me mad!!

Dh apologised last night for being a dick. It's a start at least.
Met a friend for lunch yesterday and she lives in an amazing mansion house, and invited me to stay a few days with her. She used to be married to one of dh's best friends and we got friendly as we have a lot in common. So I might do just that at the end of the month.
On other news baby for 7hours straight on fri, 8 yesterday and 7 again last night. Don't know if it's a coincidence but it's when we started giving her a dummy. I've also started trying to feed her every 3 hours rather than constantly so maybe that's working better
Cav how's your sleeping plan going?
Ouch mother. I've also pulled a muscle on my arm from picking baby up and it's been a nightmare
Brave is your oh capable of sitting down and having a conversation!? Mine isn't but that might help!

We have a village fair here today. Except for one crepe stand, everybody else will serve local delicacies - kidneys in sauce (dish looks as disgusting as it sounds, no idea about taste) and a local version of fish and chips, carpe frite. Instead of fish fillet though they just slice up a carp and fry the slices, so it's all bony and inedible. Like this: apps.tourisme-alsace.info/photos/altkirch/photos/242000798_6.jpg
I have no idea why, not like we're starving here so internal organs and bony fish are the only things left to eat..

I have just suffered a total horror.
My parents staying at my PILs this weekend with us. Parents wanted to look at our Turkey holiday photos which were still on my camera card. My dad takes the card, plugs it into in-laws massive TV (which he has no idea how to use) and then (while I am in the loo) starts playing a slideshow of the ENTIRE card, which included many pictures of me on our Cornwall holiday nude sunbathing to the assembled PILs.. He then got all flustered and put it in collage mode, so we had many pictures all at once of my close up naked pregnant body all over the 52" screen. My parents found this hilarious. PILs who are quite reserved probably haven't seen that much nudity for decades.. Even with me standing in front of the screen you could still see my enormous nipples. I actually think I will be having nightmares about this for years.

sorry quod but