Graduated Elderberry Pavlovas - Thread 7

[Cavort]

Newly diffed right through to new Mums. A thread for the over 30's expecting their first baby.

Cross post bear but at you assuming it was the lady jungle reaction!

I had my laptop and was watching Simpsons. Otherwise over here they love to stuff the room full of machines that go ping!! so there was not even place for any candles.

I think candles are probs outlawed in medical settings not a good idea to have naked flames near gas and air

You could probably take other stuff tho like visualisation prompts or juggling balls (juju sundin is a big advocate of this kind of thing in Birth Skills - great book)

DP and I filled in crosswords on his Kindle for a long time. That was a good distraction.

Might struggle to be allowed anything that requires being plugged in - nothing is allowed at the hospital I was at despite a gazillion empty plugs... so maybe take spare phone batteries if playing music?

Hi brave I will add you to fb group as soon as I get your message.
I'm in a foul mood and raging with dh. He is just so unhelpful and selfish I want to kill him sometimes. We are at his parents and have argued 3 times today already. He won't help with the baby and will only change her nappy after I shout. I'm so angry and upset
Sorry for the ranting post.

at juggling balls - I could barely stand up straight once waters had gone let alone juggle!

The only comforts I had during labour were cups of tea in a sports bottle (once epidural had kicked in) and a tablet with episodes of 24 loaded onto it and a 3g dongle to get online. I had plenty of music on my phone but hadn't taken the bluetooth speaker because I only went in for monitoring and ended up staying to be induced. The moral of that one is always be prepared.

Sorry to hear that Lol, I hope your DH gets his head out of his arse sometime soon.

alex we are taking some led candles, doubt we'll get a chance to 'relax' much, it sounds good in theory though.

I'm raging at my OH too, I am in trouble for putting his tshirts in the dryer, no 'thanks babe' for actually doing his washing, the cleaning, the hoovering, the cooking, the washing up, brushing the dog, walking the dog, nope, just a raging man because I dared to tumble dry them.....god he's an ungrateful shit at times!

Rant away Lol, it makes a change from it being me moaning about my useless selfish OH. I don't blame you for feeling upset and angry, I seem to be permanently one or the other or both. I will never understand how men get away with being such children.

My thoughts exactly purple. The fucker is 43 years old and is currently in front of the very expensive laptop I bought for him playing some computer game. He does not take an ounce of responsibility for anything and I'm fed up of looking after him.
Mother I was also told off for drying his stuff so went for a week in which I just did mine and baby's washing. Then he had no socks and I said he should wash akme

Ah yes washing, the rows we have about washing. I sometimes think my spirit is being eroded one dropped inside out stinky sock at a time. I'd post about it in relationships but the scary feminists would eat me alive. I never thought the prospect of being a lone parent could look so appealing.

Sorry for the little miss miserable posts I'm just really fed up at the moment.

Oh purple don't apologise. Rant/moan away. You poor thing. It must be really tough to go through when also tired and worn out x

Nice one Lol, I think a laundry strike was definitely the answer there.

It's ok Purple, I also feel your rolled up sock pain. I mean, how god damned hard is it to take a sock off normally (not rolled up which won't dry) and put it in the laundry basket rather than leaving it about a foot away from the basket along with pants? It drives me insane. As a result I am still willing to do his laundry but our house laundry rules are as follows;

1. Dirty items left anywhere other than the laundry basket will be binned rather than washed (he grumpily fishes them out of the bedroom bin and puts them in the basket)
2. Rolled up socks will be binned rather than washed.
3. Delicates to be put in a separate basket otherwise no moaning is allowed when I accidentally ruin them (came about when I shrunk 3 x £100+ jumpers in one hit the tumble dryer - they then fitted me perfectly ).
4. Clothes will be delivered back clean and dry but ironing is every man for himself.
5. Wet towels left on the floor will result in a slow and painful death.

I find this simple system results in a much happier marriage.

That works for you cavort because you live with a man who is on the whole a reasonable and normal human being whereas I live with a wanker of the highest order. His socks, though annoying, are the least of my worries right now (though possibly the sock that broke the camels back) perhaps I should suffocate the bastard with the offending socks and solve all of my problems.

Nice work in the 'accidental' jumper shrinkage though

One last moan for the night then I swear I'm going to stop. He's still not home from work. Sigh.

I've also been very tempted over the last few weeks to attempt lone parenting- as I seem to be doing it anyway!
Also considering going home for a couple of months weeks to see how he likes it

Seriously though, having a baby definitely does put a new pressure on a relationship and sometimes it is undeniably tough. I'm sure it must get better as the baby gets older and easier. Did he work these hours before Lucy or is this a recent thing? You can moan as much of you like, we're here for you to vent any time you like.

Or cheer yourself up as I am doing with a large Bacardi & Coke (Bacardi & Cock? ) and Steve Jones on 8 Out of 10 Cats. Mmmm.

I like the laundry rules! Mine is shit though, he has a 'floordrobe' like a teenager and by the end of the week I have 5 pairs of pants sat next to the shower, the laundry bin is 3 steps away so why it is such a hardship for them to migrate their I don't know. I even put his bloody laundry away now, either that or it goes on top of his floordrobe and I end up re washing clean clothes.

Why are they so frustrating?!?! I am also trying to educate him that items put on the worksurface above the dishwasher dont magically put themselves inside it and items put in the sink dont magically wash themselves! Also contrary to what he believes we do not have an army of cooking/cleaning/washing fairies....just me!

Ive gone on strike a few times, he just doesnt notice though. He waits till he has no clothes then takes it all to the laundrette and pays for a service wash! He doesnt notice all the washing up piled high either....I think I live with a pig sometimes.

Other times though he will complain that my cleaning isnt up to par....cheeky bastard.

STILL NOT HOME! He's always worked stupid hours and it has always pissed me off but undeniably more so now I'm sole carer for a small baby for approximately 20 hours a day. Grumpy. And he doesn't even earn that much. I should compile a list of life lessons for Lucy for when she's older so she doesn't make the same mistakes I made. Never date someone who is self employed would be at the top next to 'never pluck your eyebrows when drunk

Lol at Bacardi and cock mmmm I could just drink one, wonder if there is any rum squirrelled away at the back of a cupboard.

I did have one Ex who was freakishly tidy but I think on the whole men are messy bastards. It's in their genes.

I went in the cupboard to get the Bacardi and found a bottle of Baileys I had forgotten about so I am having a massive glass on ice, fuck it I have 12oz of expressed in the fridge.

I second the self-employed thing. DH is generally out 7am-7pm Mon-Fri, always has to work weekends to some degree and usually has work to do most evenings after he gets in. And now he is asleep with his head on my lap because he was up at 5 to go to Durham. He does get financially rewarded but to be quite honest I would rather he earned less and was around a bit more. His company is relatively new and he says once it's properly established his workload should decrease but there's zero evidence of that so far.

And have you got photographic evidence of drunken eyebrow plucking?

No. But I believe it is also unwise to cut your toenails when drunk

realise I now sound like a total pisshead. It was all a long long time ago honest

So in my desperation over the last two days with a Velcro baby and an absent husband I called the health support provided by my work and spoke to a midwife. She advised me to give her a dummy to stop her using my boobs as a soother. So I gave it to her yesterday and she bloody loves it. Does that make me a shit mum? Does anyone use one?? Are there any major risks?? Cause the peace it provides is amazing so far