Graduated Elderberry Pavlovas - Thread 7

[Cavort]

Newly diffed right through to new Mums. A thread for the over 30's expecting their first baby.

That is what I thought alex, but 3 of my friends recently had their first babies and one was born in 8 hours (from first contraction to birth) at 38 weeks, one at 38+6, although labour was longer, the other was born in 25 mins WTF!!! although she was overdue. I am now starting to question my previous 'oh I'm bound to go over' statement.

I don't think for a minute that it will be so quick my OH won't be able to get home. I am still worried about the time it takes to get to the hosp though. Especially when they say to wait at home until you have regular contractions every 3 minutes!!! That seems very close together to me.

I guess it will all just work out at the time and we'll go with the flow. 25 mins though, wow, was that first contraction to finish? Would love it to be that quick, although of course wouldn't want DH to miss it! One thing I'm weirdly worried about is how to time my waxing appointments, not sure if that's silly but I'm trying to work out the timing so I don't get caught out!

Ah right, sorry Quod, I didn't realise it was a washer dryer. Ok, Which? has 5 Best Buy washer dryers, which are...
Miele WT2780 @ c. £1200
AEG L75480WD @ c. £650
Bosch WVH28420GB Logixx @ c. £850
Indesit IWDE126 @ c. £420
Bosch WKD28350GB @ c. £870
Let me know if you want reviews.
FWIW I agree with Merk. It's seperate washer and dryer all the way for me, even if the dryer has to go in the shed/garage/spare room. I have sacrificed a dishwasher in my current kitchen to accommodate a tumble dryer, and since Elodie arrived it's getting a lot more use.

As it turned out my DH had 5 days from first contraction to birth, which was plenty of time if he needed to sober up.

Alex you won't care at all whether your waxing is due. In labour you won't even care if you've showered.

Ok, my next neurotic baby sleep question for the Mums is... if your baby wakes up after one 40 minute sleep cycle, do you let them stay awake (knowing they're still tired and not had enough sleep) or do you try to get them back to sleep? According to this she needs about 15 hours per day and I am wondering if her erratic night waking is due to lack of sleep during the day? She does have 3 naps per day, but at yesterdays lunchtime nap, she woke after 40 minutes so I got her back to sleep and she slept for another 3 hours, and at this morning's nap she woke after 40 minutes so I got her back to sleep and she's currently still asleep 1.5 hours later. She doesn't always wake after 40 minutes but when she does I have only just started getting her back off to sleep and I just wondered what you all did and how much daytime sleep your babies get?

Sorry cav I'm as much use on that one as a chocolate teapot

alex yep 25 mins from start to finish, she had him in the back of the ambulance!! Plus she didnt even tear, lucky cow! Although I'd like it to be a bit longer than that or basically I'll end up delivering my own baby.

You might not give a damn about the state of your lady garden while you give birth but you might the next day in the hospital shower when your bump has gone down and you can finally see that trimming when you can't see what you're doing was really not a good idea. I had tufts, some patches were nearly bald...it was not a pretty sight. When I wailed at OH (who was in the bathroom with me to make sure I didn't faint because of the anaemia) 'why didn't you tell me!!' He just smirked and said 'I thought it was Probably best you didn't realise!'

In my case depends on the way he wakes up. If he is still mostly asleep but moving and complaining a little then I do bounce the hammock a bit and sometimes he falls asleep again. If he's wide awake then no chance to get him to sleep again, so I don't bother.
Vic doesn't have much of a schedule at daytime - he usually is awake while we have breakfast and then sleeps for an hour or 2, but after that it really depends on the day - sometimes several long naps, sometimes awake pretty much the whole day, so the amount of sleep he gets varies a lot.

New trick of the day: lying on the play mat/gym thing she's found that she can kick the toys to make them move. From the look on her face, this takes a LOT of concentration

Cavort - her sleep is all over the place in the day, sometimes she's only asleep 5 minutes before she wakes up again. I tend to leave her to it and let her nod off as and when, sometimes she falls asleep in her bouncy chair, sometimes on the playmat or in the car but she often doesn't sleep much in the day at all.

Ooh, just realised it's therefore been 12 months since last AF. I do not miss it AT ALL and have heard rumour of periods being much heavier and worse post baby

Miles usually naps an hour in the morning, an hour or two at lunch, and up to an hour in the afternoon. This really varies though, and depending on how much he's had so far that day I encourage or try to discourage naps accordingly. He seems to need between 3 and 4 hours sleep a day so I just try to keep a vague track of it....

I do wonder if I should just stop worrying about it and let her get on with whenever she wants to sleep or not, but then I read scary stuff like this

“Good sleep is essential to a baby’s growth and development. It is expected that on their first year of life, babies should sleep between 11 and 18 hours a day, and during this time have growth hormones actively working on their physiological and emotional development at three times the normal rate.
A baby who doesn't’t get enough good sleep will exhibit very real developmental problems that may include hyperactivity, aggression and learning difficulties. His physical and mental growth may also be impeded, and he may experience more behavioral problems and a reduced ability to pay attention and concentrate.
According to Dr. Luis Rivera, a Diplomat of the Philippine Pediatric Society, Fellow of the Philippine Society of Sleep Medicine and a Pediatric Consultant for Makati Medical Center and Asian Hospital, “Sleep for babies is not just rest for the body. It assists in brain development, proper learning and, to a certain extent, social adjustment. And since our growth hormones are released during sleep, the child is given developmental and growth values as well. Poor sleep can impact growth—they become stunted, or thinner, or smaller, crankier, and they develop slower.”

... and then I get worried again that she's not getting enough sleep.

I haven't looked into this but looks like there's a commercial angle to that website maybe. Try not to stress cavort, as my hypnobirthing CD says, "baby knows best" to a degree so whilst I think it's good to have routines and help them adapt, surely they are listening to their bodies too. Hang on, have I been hypnotised already? disclaimer: I have no idea about babies and sleep, but I know I'll worry about this sort of thing so trying to be supportive!

Oh and on the waxing front, I wax my legs too so that's why I need to stay on top of it! I can't imagine what degree of pain it would take for me not to care about that sort of thing....eek!

Cute about Lucy's new trick

Even though everyone kept saying you won't care, I always did keep on top of personal care as it's bad enough feeling like a walrus without having the added feeling that you've let yourself go. I don't think for a second that doctors and midwives care one jot about hairy legs etc. though.

That's just one of many webshites saying similar Alex I agree though that baby knows best, I think it's just that I need something to worry about. The only routine we have is at morning and bedtime to provide a clear distinction between day and night. She eats and sleeps when she wants to, but we have to watch for the cues that she's tired and then provide the opportunity for sleep otherwise she would not sleep during the day. I guess if lack of sleep can stunt growth then she must be getting enough, the little fatty! Well after her 4 hour nap this morning she is now back asleep but despite being clearly tired and increasingly grumpy she still didn't go down without a fight.

It's DH I'm worried about, not the midwives - he won't be seeing me at my best as it is!

From what I've seen of gorgeous little Elodie, I was much more of a fatty little heifer than she is!

Is Elodie actually fat? She's what, 6,1 kilos, that's quite normal for a 3-month old. (Vic is 6,5 and more on the skinny side).

alex not to go into details, but considering everything your DH might see, a little stubble is not the thing to worry about

To this point I have fully let myself go due to barely having the energy to shower but today I am bringing myself back into the land of the human. Hair cut and 2 hours in the beauty salon will hopefully put right some of the damage!
20% off toys at mothercare this weekend, seems to include playmats and bouncers etc

No i'm only joking, she's only as fat as most babies. It's just that she's going up the weight centiles rather than staying on one line so I keep joking that she's going to end up spherical as she's only average length.

I am impressed at your motivation Merk, I managed showering but a beauty salon was a bridge too far.

Merkin - just a word of warning to check your receipt. I just bought three things from mothercare (including a little something for baby Alex!) and they didn't apply 20% discount to any of them, then claimed there wasn't a promotion I pointed out the massive signs in the shop window behind them and they finally agreed to credit the 20% after checking with the manager. Pah.

You have me panicking now... How do you time your wax if you don't know when you're going to go into labour?? I have 1 to 2 weeks post wax where my (ahem) lady garden looks presentable, and then 1 to 2 weeks of regrowth pre my next wax. How do I manage that????
Also, is it naive to think he won't see anything awful if he stays at the head end? Poo I am ok with but are there other things I'm missing??

even with the most perfect birth, there will be blood and other bodily fluids (TMI but it's also quite common to have diarrhea). There might be some tearing and stitching (not as bad as it sounds, but still). It's quite messy. So 2-week re-growth won't make much of a difference to the presentableness, honestly. Do not panic about timing the wax.

Merk I don't wax but couldn't you just tidy up with a razor prior to your next wax if birth is on the cards? When I was huge I managed perfectly well on my own with a mirror and a steady hand.

I think it depends on your birthing situation. If you have a water birth or a birth on all fours or similar then I don't think anyone else in the room would see very much at all, if however you end up lying on your back (as I did) then IMO you can see everything that's going on from wherever you are in the room. If you're not bothered about your OH seeing poo though then I don't think anything else is anywhere near as bad. Yes a baby's head is going to come out of there but that can't be entirely unexpected and he's got a while to prepare for that sight. He probably wouldn't want to see you getting an episiotomy, etc., but the medical staff are very discreet (or mine were) and always kept a sheet over me while they were rummaging away in there doing various tests (obviously not standard practice, I had a bradycardia) which was only removed just before the head appeared. I'm sure he still got an eye full but my DH did stay at the hand-holding end but decided he would wander down the goal end just as my episiotomy was being stitched up... why on earth would you do that?? Men are strange.

merk I don't know if you shave or wax your legs, but I reckon hairy legs is worse! I was also just thinking if I was due to have a wax and caught out, then worst case, I could jump in the shower for emergency shaving at the earliest sign of labour. I just know me - under that strip lighting, I will care about being presentable! Whatever horrors DH has to witness, I am going into this smooth legged, relaxed and ready for battle!

Hello again! You guys are so lovely. I have missed you :)

Yes yes to fb - will message Lol as soon as I can click her name.

Totally don't fret as much as you think about grooming... I shaved my legs the morning after my waters broke before heading to hospital (hind waters went in the shower lol). Was another 36 hours plus til DS was delivered. I recall being so grateful that usually fussy DP completely ignored my stubble as he stroked my leg during labour.

And - tmi - I even peed in a comode in front of him. The first time I sent him behind the curtains. Second time neither of us cared.

One weird moment - 7 hours post birth a midwife offers me a bed bath. She looked beneath the sheet and gasped in horror. Fortunately she followed up with 'that looks painful' fairly quickly as I was concerned it may have been the lady jungle sparking the reaction ;)

Ah such happy memories! Lol. It's really not that bad intthe moment :)

Lol Cavort full marks to your brave DH - my DP had left the theatre by that point as he felt sp faint! Bless him :)

Oh and by the way, did anyone else bring anything like lamps, candles, music to the birth? Our hippy NCT teacher reckons it all helps you feel relaxed (this obviously only applies to more straight forward births rather than any problems/high risk situations). I quite liked the sound of flattering lamp lighting down the business end