December 2013 - steaming towards 3/4 cooked

[LadyMedea]

Our shiny new thread... Pile in!

I rent out my house and tbh the rent doesn't quite cover the mortgage plus there are always costs such as (for me) a new carpet, oven, paint etc. this means this year I won't make any money on my house at all - I will definitely lose some! So can't think i will be paying much tax. It's not an issue for me but I would not feel happy having tenants without a rental agreement for everyone's protection. I think as it's a family issue it is much better to keep it legal and above board. If your BiL doesn't rent to you has he got someone else lined up? Surely anyone would want a rental agreement so if it is not you it must be someone else or will he just not rent his place?

Hi everyone too thanks for the welcome and coat advice!

Morning all. The talk went sort of okay. I asked him outright what the messages were, told him I wasn't snooping and that I had accidentally logged in as him for email and saw it. He told me that he just liked to talk to her about stuff that was bothering him as he doesn't feel like he can tell me these things. I asked why and it ended up in a huge argument where some horrible things were said. I ended up getting my dad to come and pick me up and am staying at his for a few days to get some space. I feel terrible. He hasn't cheated on me, he genuinely just wanted to talk to someone and as he still had his dating profile from when we met it seemed the easiest place. His profile says he is just looking for friends and that he is engaged and states loads of times he just wants to talk to new people so i'm not worried about that. It's just the argument we had was so horrible. It felt like he had been harbouring these issues for a long time. We never really argue so this was a shock.

Whisper, there's no need to feel horrible, I'd have reacted exactly the same. If he feels he can't talk to you about these things he needs to sit down and work out why, as you're about to go through the most stressful time a couple can go through together and you're going to need to be able to talk about everything! I'm not suggesting you LTB, but talking to a stranger about intimate details of your life together is an absolute no as far as I would be concerned.

Thanks for all the kind words. I think I feel a bit better about it now. I can't do anything about whatever it is so there is little point in worrying. I have stayed away from google but DH hasn't and he has said it could be loads of things which aren't too bad at all. Will just have to wait and see I suppose.

Whisper, I'm sorry your talk didn't go better. Nasty things are always said in the heat of the moment, its horrible, but it can be good to have everything out in the open. Its good that he was honest with you and that you have seen that he just wanted to talk to someone. A couple of days apart to process the information will do you both good. Hopefully the next time you see him, you can have a calm and rational conversation and sort many things out. Chin up - everything will work out in the end!

I'm not sure about your situation Stom, but others have said things which seem to make a lot of sense. Hope you sort it.

I have started thinking about coats too. All your tips will come in useful I'm sure! I don't know whether its just me, but I hate spending money on clothes I won't be wearing for too long. Grr!

Welcome Xenadog!

Sorry if I have missed anyone - have a lovely Sunday everyone!

He just text to apologise for last night. He is just stressed about our financial situation and didn't mean to take it out on me.

I don't know what to do about a coat either. At the moment I'm surviving using jumpers, but if it get's as cold as it did last year it won't be enough. I might have to just take a trip to Primark like someone else said. I really hate having to spend money on clothes that in 6 months will be useless. So far I have brought two pairs of maternity leggings, two dresses and some bigger pyjamas and that's it. I'm not the most stylish person in the world, but being the size of a planet, I don't much care. Oh! I had to buy some new shoes too. Has anyone else's feet grown?! I appear to have gone up half a size which is annoying. Ended up getting a £3 pair of pumps from Primark that are too big because nothing else fits.

gannet hope everything goes okay for you. It is probably nothing and they are only rushing you through because you're pregnant? It might be something that gets aggravated more by pregnancy, so I wouldn't worry until you need too.

Welcome to Xena

storm I don't really have any advice for you i'm afraid, but others seem to be much more knowledgeable so you have already been given some good advice

Yeah i want to have an agreement in place.... If we don't want the house then he will go through a lettings agents .. He won't be making any profit as we will pay what he pays... Hes pays £598 a month for his mortgage so we are just taking over and paying that.

He doesn't want to take any money from us.
I just want it to be legal as I don't want in a year or something to happen and we find out we are stuffed because it wasn't legal x

Whisper, I hope you and mister can be happy in each others arms again. Arguments are rough and if you are anything like me and my dp, we don't argue much, but when we do, it is epic.

I was thinking about him wanting to talk to someone different, and I suppose we have each other, so it is understandable he has somewhere, but perhaps he could try dadsnet instead of a dating site. That way, the insecure hormonal pregnany lady inside you won't create suspicions where there aren't any.

Finances are a big thing for is too. I want to go away for a couple of days in October as a kind of banymoon, but we have so much to do to the house before the baby comes, not least stock up on some of the last bits and pieces that we would both feel guilty spending money on something we won't get anything back for. At the moment, i am looking into a murder mystery night somewhere not Bristol. That might be enough, especially if we stay an extra night. But money is the devil's tool and usually can be found behind most aguments.

As I said , I hope you both kiss and make up today. You need each other.

Wow I've missed a lot!
Whisper sorry about what's happening with your DP, at least you can now move on from what's been said/done. It's obviously a very trying time for you both but if you can sit down and air your worries and work on them then that's the first step I guess. I'm still waiting for our first blazing row as we're both too laidback to argue much lol.
Gannet, like others have said it's probably something of nothing as every lump is seen as urgent I guess. My mum had a scare a couple of years ago and it was just a cyst so it's prob just another pregnancy delight.
Never thought about winter coats till I tried on my usual one and it struggled to fasten! I've got a mahoosive one from a few winters ago when I was quite a size so I think that's gonna have to come down from the loft.
Been feeling a bit crappy too recently, but my worries seem trivial compared to everyone else's now! Just things that wouldn't affect a sane woman but has me close to tears at times... stupid hormones!
Hope the new week brings better times for everyone

i've come back home as DP apologised and I realised we needed to talk properly. I think this will actually do us good. We never tell each other what is bothering us really, so this is a chance to air our worries. It just scared me because we never argue. Other than minor niggles about him never tidying up after himself but that is normal when you live together.

Blimley I've missed loads!!! Sorry guys I'm probably going to have missed someone out here.

I think caroles idea of dadsnet is really good if he needs to talk without worrying you or something but I would reassure him whisper that he can talk to you about anything and not to carry around everything to himself.

gannet I had that last year, I was sent straight from the doctors to the hospital for a lump in my throat, had biopsy's etc and thankfully it was just a cyst but I remover panicking so much because of the urgency but they have to act fast just in case, we all will be keeping our fingers crossed for good news for you- and like they say DO NOT GOOGLE anything!!!

Have to really talk up the OH this week, we got the pram at the beginning of the week then he's been on a whirlwind of getting everything ready so we now have Moses basket, car seat, the pram & carrycot (which my cat has already got in and is currently asleep naughty thing) cots ordered ready to come in this week, nappies, baby oils shampoos etc, changing mat & picked the nursery colours out. Plus my mum & dad came down for the weekend and mum & I have up cycled an old wicker chair & foot stool and made a cushion for a nursing chair & rest. Absolute super stars!!

whisper sometimes not arguing is worse as things build up and you don't realise the other person is unhappy about something. I grew up in a family where arguments were almost taboo and should be avoided at all costs which lead to a buildup of resentment and unresolved issues. DH's was the opposite- blazing rows then 10 mins later all is forgiven and the air is cleared. I was shocked when I first witnessed it but now think it is healthier (as long as things are resolved!) hope your talking helps sort everything out- DH and I don't argue that much but when we do its often heated but is always for a reason. I'm just a wimp and would rather stick my head in the sand!

Went to a baby market sale yesterday and got some bargains! A Moses basket for £5!! Plus some lovely curtains for the nursery- was looking everywhere for something that'd suit a girl or boy and these are perfect.

I'm also dithering over a coat. Need one but hate paying for something I'm only going to wear for a few months. On the plus side, maternity coats do seem to sell well on eBay.

mrsshrubs your chair and footstool sound fab. I love the idea of up cycling and love being creative.

Thanks mumoftwo they've turned out so well and feels nice knowing you've done something yourself. Means my sewing machines out now so some baby bunting may have to be made too! Love a bargain, £5 is amazing!!

Must sort out a coat, my normal ones are really fitted so there's no way they will fit!

Oh whisper you poor thing You've dealt with the whole situation brilliantly though and as others have already said, I really think your relationship will be stronger now that everything is out in the open. Let us know how everything goes!

And MrsShrubs your OH sounds lovely Glad everything is coming together for baby!

Had a bit of a 'stereotypical pregnant woman' moment in Asda earlier - We popped down to pick up a few bits since their Baby & Toddler Event ends today and got there to find them putting new offers out. Asked an assistant where the baby stuff was and she told me they'd reduced it all and sold the last of it off just half an hour before, cue me bursting into tears there and then...! Haha!

Without wanting to sound like I'm boasting, I've had a pretty fab weekend (thought we could do with some cheery news on here!) DP unexpectedly had some money come through on Friday so he's kindly offered to pay off some of my debts since I'm struggling with money at the moment. He also took me shopping today and bought me a nice cream snuggly cable knit cardigan, a pair of boots and an exercise ball to help my achy back. Gotta love that guy! Things still aren't perfect but I'm pretty smiley right now

itsliz right back at you, bless him!!

Not sure how much people want to spend coat wise, I've just bought a maternity one from new look currently down from £39.99 to £29.99 (not sure how long the offers on for) called the snood coat plus free collection from a store so no extra delivery costs :)

Ooh I got that one its lovely isn't it.. Though mine was too tight in the arms so had to send it back :'(

It looks lovely so fingers crossed it fits when it arrives Thursday!!

I've ordered that one as well.... Ordered two sizes just in case it doesn't fit and then goes out of stock!

Glad to hear that you're sorting things out Whisper

i got myself a coat out of primark as I couldn't bring myself to spend £40 on a coat for 2 months but when I tried them on a size 18 did up over the bump but there wasn't much growing room so bought a size 20!
i'm a 12 usually, DP thinks its hilarious!

We've got the day booked off today as it's DPs birthday - his 40th! I've got another scan this morning so fingers crossed everyone that this litle girl has grown loads since 2 weeks ago. From what the consultant said last time its going to be scans every 2 weeks until at least 34 weeks then if they are happy baby is growing at a good rate then they'll sign me off back to the midwife led unit but if not then they might indice me early!

Hopefully everything will be fab then we can go out for a lovely lunch somewhere.

Just a quickie - there is an alright coat in h&m for 29.99. It's a parka - black or green. :)

Saw that parka earlier (got a few lovely bits from h&m) but it doesn't look that warm, that's the only thing. Saw that coat in new look a few weeks ago- thinking I'd better get it now- apparently it's going to snow this October/Nov so probably can't do without a coat! Just going to see if they've got my size...

I thought the same, mum. I'm not getting it now - it won't accept my gift card! Grrr! Gonna keep looking round. Will probably end up just get a bigger sized coat from primark.

Every time I eat, baby is sticking his bottom out under my ribs on the right, making it impossible to do anything other than lean back! I remember his brother doing the same, it's making me quite nostalgic

it's going to snow in oct/nov?! snow is horrible stuff. Who knew getting a coat was going to be such a hassle. Not something you really think about usually.

Does anyone else have a baby who is always on one side? mine never seems to sit on the left side, always prefers the right side. Is this normal?

yup me too. the left is the dark side haha.. and she is always really low... last night she was up past mu belly button which was weird as im not used to it lol...

my coat is out of stock :'(
going to portsmouth wednesday, see what i can find :)