May 2014

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

Ok, I can't see a May thread in here so I guess I will start one! According to the NHS due date calculator my EDD is actually 30th April but I think that makes me more likely to be having a May baby anyway!

Am feeling very tentative about starting this thread as I had a mc in June and it's very early days for this one but...anyone want to come and chat through these nerve-wracking first few days?

Bloody eck....... moomin.... that sucks..... just remember this is up to you... and they will come round once they realise what you are going to do and that its your decision.... You won't be alone, just give them some time.... Arghhhhh poor you sweetheart!! (SUPERHUG)
WE are ALL here for you honey.
(More Hugs)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm sorry to hear that, moomin. You know, however much you try not to, it's really difficult to avoid imagining your child as an adult, including a little bit what their life will be like then. I think most parents do it without even realising. When something happens that doesn't fit with the parents' image (especially if the image of the child's life is subconscious) it's very difficult to deal with. I think that is why a lot of parents who are not homophobic have a problem with their child being gay, for example. They had subconsciously pictured a husband/wife, children, basically a heterosexual life,and they have to deal with the loss of this dream for their child. Your parents probably imagined you with a degree and not having children till you were older and more established and your news has threatened that. It doesn't mean they won't come round and it doesn't mean they won't love the baby.

BUT you are not a child anymore and you don't have to feel like you're being naughty or that you are in trouble. Your body belongs only to you, you have a complete right to do whatever you want with it, whatever your parents want is irrelevant. Of course, it's nice if they can be supportive from the beginning but it sounds like they are ambitious for you and you need to give them time to come round. Suggesting you have an abortion is absolutely inappropriate but it sounds like they are panicking a bit.

Moomin try not to be too upset. It's a lot for them to take in and they might just need some time to get their heads around what's going to happen.

I'm sure they'll come around once they have a bit of time. Just take support from your OH in the meantime.

How did it go telling his parents?

Thanks allypally. Poor you, a kidney infection does not sound fun :(

Hugs moomin. I agree with others that it's probably just a shock for your parents & I'm sure they will come round eventually.

How's everyone feeling? I feel totally exhausted! Don't know how I'm going to get through the next 7 weeks til we can tell people!

thanks everyone. I'm absolutely devastated, just feel a bit hopeless. Made me realise maybe im not ready to raise a baby. Talking with OH about looking into adoption.

Aww sending big hugs moomin :( but agree with everyone else it's your decision. My best friend went through exactly the same when she was 20, by the time she was 7 months her parents were thoroughly excited to be grandparents and she couldn't believe they had been so negative in the first place!

I'm sorry your parents reacted badly Moomin, they've put you in a really hard position. I understand why, but still, they're not being fair to you.

For what it's worth, I've always thought people who have their families young are very sensible (IYSWIM) as they get their adult lives and careers back while they're still young. The baby years throw a massive spanner in the works of most women's lives, whatever age they are!
I'm 35, left work at 33 with DS. As it happened I didn't really have a 'career' in the first place (receptionist), but my friends of the same age who do/did, have left when they were really doing well - it is v hard.
I honestly don't think there is a 'right' time to have a baby, there are usually obstacles of one kind or another.

There are lots of women on here who have been in your position, maybe start a thread and see if you can talk it through with them and help get your head clear about what you really want.
xx

I want things to go back to normal. Want to turn back the clock. I just don't know what to do, everyone has an opinion and knows their feelings about this but me. Sorry guys

Is this the right thread for those expecting in May 2014? Actually calculated my due date to be 26 Apr but my babies have always turned up 5 days late in the past so this seems like the natural place to be. If all continues to go well this will be my third baby (bloody hell, writing that down makes me realise how terrifying that actually is)

Not too familiar with how threads work on here but can't manage another 9 months of babycentre birth boards - it's doing my head in!

Moomin - might be wise to take a few days out this weekend.
Have you got a mate you can go stay with for the weekend? There's a lot of pressure on you right now, it could help you feel clearer about what you want if you can just get away.
At the end of the day, it is your choice, and doing what someone else wants may end in regrets.
We will still be here if you fancy a chat. xx

chezney - welcome to the Maybies :) and well done for escaping BC!

My boobs r throbbing this morning!!!!

Sod it, I'm joining the thread!

Copper coil has gone MIA and I'm pregnant. Gynaecologist thinks it might be ectopic but we won't know until Monday (HCG levels weren't doubling quite as fast as "normal").

DH doesn't want any more DCs but will support me if the pregnancy is viable (I'd love more DCs).

Due date calculator gives 9th of May , fingers crossed!

moomin , I dread telling my DM. Despite being 33, married, having a stable job, reasonable mortgage on a 4 bedroom house and 2 lovely DCs, I already know her first question will be along the lines of "you aren't going to keep it are you?".

I fell pregnant at 21, still living at home, no job, middle of university course, useless boyfriend etc etc. She told me I had to have a abortion, when I refused she kicked me out. DS now 11 is the apple of her eye and she is actually a brilliant Granny.

When I fell pregnant with DD, I was married, had a stable job and we were looking for a house to buy. She still recommended I get an abortion as I already had DS and that was enough. She obviously loves DD to death now.

I have no idea why she thinks having children is such a burden (kind of makes me feel bad about how I must have been as a child) but it would be nice is she could be supportive. At the end of the day it's my life, not hers, and I'm pretty sure she'll always find something to disapprove of in my life.

Gosh Moomin, that's rotten. Give them and yourself a little time, it's early days yet, it will be a hard decision, but it's yours to make and don't let yourself be rushed.

Welcome viking. Your mum sounds like a piece of work.

Moomin please don't let your parents reaction impact your decision. You have 9 months to work out how you feel. Please don't make a rushed decision. You could end up regretting it for the rest of your life and deeply resenting your parents. What does your OH think?

Morning all. Hope you're all doing ok?
"Are we nearly there yet?"
I'm managing to stay pretty focused at work to make the days go quicker. Quite pleased to have nearly got to 6 weeks. Next milestone is my scan next Thursday, then hopefully make it to 8 weeks, then 10, then 12!! It's all quite nerve-wracking thinking about what can go wrong; I'm trying so hard not to be doom and gloom but also need to brace myself in case it all ends in tears like the last couple of times. I've spent so much of the last couple of years pregnant and would really like to have something (I.e. a baby!) to show for it!!!!
Moomin - you've still got time to really think about what you want to do and don't have to decide immediately. It's so hard not to succumb to peer pressure (mumsnet or your family!) but try to trust your instinct and do whatever feels right for you. There is no 'right' answer and I'm sure whatever you chose will work out for you.
Right, off to Twickers today for the rugby. Happy weekend all.

Welcome Viking!
I've read on here about quite a few babies being born with the coil in the hand

Happy weekend everyone, lets hope the sun stays out!

Viking Welcome honey, the ectopic word makes me shudder tbh.... I've had one, so make sure you listen to your doctors, and any increasing pain or shoulder tip pain get your ass into hospital ok? I am crossing my fingers and toes that all goes well for you!! :)
moomin Just listen to your heart.... I was 30 when I had my first baby and I wasn't even ready then.... whatever your heart tells you is the answer.. but take your time.... (hugs)

I have had boob pain twinges in the last 24 hours... and not sure how to explain, but the muscles in my lower tummy feel tight?? It's the feels-like-I-have-been-doing-sit-ups-effect again o.O
My pregnacare tablets arrived today, amazon have them half price, so I got two boxes of pregnacare plus omega fishy oils for 13 quid with free delivery. Should last me a few months

Watching F1 practice with DS and thinking about what I want for breakfast...... enjoy the rugby Yikes
xxxx

Thank you for the warm welcome

DH is on high alert, jumping up every time I have any kind of twinge it's just gas ffs , but yes, I will be careful and won't hesitate to get to hospital if I do get any real pain, the gynaecologist was very clear on that!

Welcome viking!
My boobs have been hurting so much I've just switched to non underwired bras - they are soo much more comfy!

Me & dh just went on a little shopping trip to mothercare this morning & couldn't resist getting a little toy especially for our baby when it's born, even though it's very early days! We were looking into the cost of prams etc - a Bugaboo is £800 eek!!

I just can't do non underwired bras...... my boobs fall out the bottom... Even nursing DS 5 years ago I couldn't wear them......Can anyone suggest a SUPER bra made from mithril or something??

I've taken to wearing those tank top vests with support inside, very comfy and seems to be holding up my bloody enormous boobs. I got it from H&M for a couple of ?.

Have you tried the M&S ones PFJ? They are pretty good. Also I didn't know this before but apparently all mothercare bras are non-wired & they recommend you don't wear underwiring in pregnancy.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I really appreciate the support. My head's a complete mess at the moment, I want to be happy about it but I just feel like I shouldn't be. They've insisted they've not put pressure on me but it feels like they have.

I feel like I'm stuck in the middle to be honest, although having today to run the race (48 minutes ) has helped. I want to have the baby but look into adoption, whereas OH wants everything to be perfect and for us to be ready for it, and my parents want me to get rid... it felt a little bit like they were more concerned about what people would think than anything else.

I really appreciate the support, we're not going to make any decisions until a) we've spoken to the midwife to figure out how having a baby could affect my health, with regards to termination, and b) talking to my uni lecturers, the council, the jobcentre and the local adoption service, to get an idea of how it works and if it's the right thing for us.

www.bravadodesigns.com/mobile/uk-en/the-body-silk-seamless-nursing-bra

My favourite bra for sleeping in and when not going out as then feel I bed a bit more support as still BF so I am a 32hh. It is amazingly comfortable no seams no hard bits. I wore it for the two weeks after birth when v engorged as I changed size so much and it is so stretchy and flexible.

I hated mothercare bras so uncomfortable and even firm support offered me little support. I went through new bras every month or so last pregnancy and then changed through different sizes for a couple of months after giving birth. But as these come in s,m,l they were a more economical option in the end.