January 2014 (Thread 7) - more excitement to come!

[Sultanajo]

The one where hopefully we are feeling less nauseous and knackered (although we develop hippo hands and feet due to the heat!), we are entering or are in our second trimester (phew!), we continue with 12 week scans and test results (ekkk!), we have 16 week midwife appointments and hear the heartbeat (OMG - aw!), we potentially see the beginnings of bumps and feel the first flutters of movement (wow!) and the 20 week scan for some is just around the corner!

Oh and we try to improve our diets after surviving on one food group during the first trimester!!!

Bring it on thread 7!!!

(pod hope I did you proud)!

God I am having a crappy day. DH decides to get pissed last night, despite me asking him not to (he has no impulse control and cannot stop at one or two - it's shit faced, or nothing). This means he sleeps in the spare room, as he REEKS, which means I have to have the bedroom door closed to keep the smell out (it's properly barf-inducing), so I don't sleep well.

I still have no bump, nor any movements, and since I didn't hear the heartbeat at 16wks, I'm becoming totally convinced something is wrong - why do I not look or feel pregnant at ALL? I know this is probably, maybe, just hormones, but I really feel worried. It's 13 days to my scan, so I know I just have to wait it out.

Today at work, I have two archive visitors in, which means the first two hours of the day spent on hands and knees in the dusty dirty archive room, pulling massively heavy boxes off shelves to look for stuff. None of my colleagues seems to give a shit that I'm hot, sweaty, dirty and have been hauling crap around all morning, whilst they sit at their desks and sip their fucking lattes. I haven't had any kind of risk assessment yet, as we don't have a H&S person, and we definitely don't have an HR department (there' 4 of us in total!), so I don't know who else to try - my boss is in the middle of moving house, so is basically ignoring everything else, then is off on holiday in a week's time, for two and a half weeks.

Last night, the film people were an hour and a half late leaving, and both my colleagues went home, leaving me here alone to deal with them - I didn't get home until 9pm, and we aren't paid overtime (I should finish at 5.30). I'm ready to cry or walk out, frankly.

Basically, I just need a grip, a hug or to be told to woman up. Sorry to whine, lovelies.

Ohh humpty, have a hug and a cake, that all sounds shitty. Oh and scream CUNTPUFFINS!
Can you talk to "D"H about how you're feeling. He knows it can't carry on when bubs is around - or when you're in the could possibly start labour any time zone right? My DH has been out drinking what seems like far more since I've been pg... maybe they are getting it in while they have the opportunity but that's no excuse!
As for work, maybe try a "as you're so busy, shall I write my own risk assessment for you to review and sign off?" approach first just to get it done? And if that doesn't work, pull out the law at him! My work still hasn't got a maternity policy or done a ra. Fortunately there are very few risks, but I am going to be asking for a whole heap of stuff in writing when i write my letter to confirm mat leave.
I don't have a bump either. Do you know anyone with a Doppler you could borrow? How long is it til your next scan? Have they told you whether your placenta is at the front or back as that affects whether you can feel it. Although my midwife said that she didn't feel her baby move til she was 22 weeks (and she didn't have an anterior placenta).
Anyway hope you're ok... Sending love x

Humpty, that sucks :(

Your husband is behaving like an arse. I second what MrsA said about talking to him. If my DH was doing this, that's what I would do.

As for work, you need to sit your boss down and have a serious talk with him/her. I would make a few pointed remarks about what the law states regarding risk assessments etc.

MrsA, I shall try. He does know it can't carry on, I think. I hope. Maybe he's getting it out of his system, but I'm massively sensitised to it, as he is a very bad drunk - aggressive, rude, unpleasant, argumentative. He's mildly bipolar, so the drinking makes it worse. At least I don't feel like I'm the only one with a rubbish DH! Thank you lovely.
I might buy a Doppler.

You have made me MUCH less grumpy, thank you. xxx

Toby thank you too - I am going to make DH have a conversation about this. He hates it, but tough.

I'll try collaring the boss later, and if not, I'm going to raise it in the staff meeting - possibly slightly unprofessional, but he's NEVER around to talk to, so tough tittie.

Right, thank you ladies, I feel much better. Time for that cake. xxxxxxx

Humpty, tough position at work for you - your colleagues sound wildly insensitive. Based on how they are behaving at the moment I'd start to put my feet down (or to put it the other way round, if people were being lovely to me I'd do anything I could to accomodate them).
If it was me, I'd say I can't stay late (e.g. for film people) as I have a (fictional) NCT / antenatal class. They won't have a clue. Or say you need to take the cat to the vet. Invent a granny's birthday party. And this afternoon? Leave early - say you are having time off in lieu for staying late last night. Go at 4pm and eat cake. Take control!

As for bump, lucky you not having a massive bump yet. I bet you look smashing and will have a neat bump for the rest of your pg. I looked 39 weeks pg at 29 weeks wtih DC1. It was awful. Everyone kept asking me when I was due, and I'd have to reply, erm, in about 3 months.

humpty my dh seems to be going out drinking more but is it just us noticing it more as we can't? I agree on the smell. Never noticed beer breath before but it is rank!

I've had no movement yet either ( after googling sure the other day was just muscle spasms as someone said). Also the bump I was sure I had seems to have turned to wobbly lard!

I'd definitely recommend getting a Doppler. Mine was less than £10 including postage. And if you count the heartbeat I'm pretty sure you know when you've got it. I always get mine first and the midwife did too and commented that I must have good blood vessels down there ha ha

In other news...
I have had two breakfasts today
And am wearing my asos mat skinny trousers for the first time and think I need some clown style braces to hold them up; when walking any distance I am doing that super sophisticated hoiking them up every 5 seconds thing. Hurry up bump!
humpty you definitely need the cake! Hope the chat with DH goes ok... From what you've said about how he is when drunk, it definitely needs to stop. I'm lucky in that even though DH has a night out most weeks, the worst he does is wake me up singing and dancing round the bedroom. Still annoying though. Idiots.
X

humpty! That all royally sucks! Definitely talk to your DH! Re not looking or feeling preggers, in the mornings things are still definitely deflated my end and I havent felt movements for two days. Obviously now wondering if I imagined it! The doppler is the ONLY thing keeping me partially sane! Still ridiculously worried about the scan on Friday! The doppler is my friend at the moment - scare the shit out of myself when I cant fine the hb first time, but I always find it. Perhaps worth considering as long as u dont think it would worry u more....x

mrsa I can just imagine u hoiking up your jeans! That was me yesterday in my super comfy joggers - probably super comfy because they are a bit loose. Am hoping they will stop falling down as bump grows.....

Is anyone else all over the place with their feelings? Every day I have moments of contentment and excitement, then moments of feeling just bloated and uncomfortable, followed by moments of panic that something is wrong/will go wrong. Its one crazy roller coaster!!!

humpty, I hope your week gets better! I'm 17 weeks and still haven't felt any movements, I wax told not to worry about when they start.

It's really warm again today, which is nice, but mixed with my low bp I'm feeling very faint!

sultanajo I can definitely identify with being on an emotional roller coaster! Poor DH doesn't know what's hit him!

Thats not great mrsg - are u able to take it easy today?

mrsg DH doesnt know the half of it! He would think I was totally nuts rather than just partially nuts!,

Luckily today's probably going to be pretty laid back. DH tried telling me it would help if I did some exercise, until I got really angry and pointed out that standing up is enough to make me faint! He did some googling and has now suggested I have a nap, which I think is a much better idea!

Hey, I'm still here, I posted other day but seems to of vanished. 17w2days and feeling grim (sorry moaning). Ended in eye hospital on Monday and have viral conjunctivitis which is horrid and generally feeling rubbish. Thought we were meant to bloom!

Went to camp bestival, was fab except the loos... Yuck. Off to France in 8 days. Going for 2 weeks then scan on 2nd sept which is our anniversary too.

Milk seems to of dried up but did still trying. Gutted as hoped to tandem

Sorry all me me me :(

:( that sounds horrible bunt, I hope you get better soon!

Right. I have just had my 16 week mw appt and I am so angry! I was in and out in less than 10 mins, she was in a clear hurry, all she did was dipstick my pee and feel my tummy (measuring 15cm, not 16cm...anyone else come out small?) She said they don't do doppler as it's no longer the policy (basically they worry they can't hear it on overweight people) and rather than risk not hearing it, they just don't bother with anyone. There was absolutely no point me being there - I could have dipsticked my own pee and she seemed to have nothing to offer AT ALL. She didn't ask about baby movements, just said not to expect them until 20 weeks (but I know from you lot that you can feel them earlier!) I'm so annoyed that I'm contemplating not going to the 28 week check as she said she'll be there and doing bloods...I don't want that witch anywhere near me.

They don't usually measure until after 28 weeks, Mythree
I have never had my bump measured until way into the 3rd trimester.

Other than that, that is basically all they do at a 16 week check up. It must be very disappointing not to have heard the HB, but it seems to be common practice now. And they don't worry about movements/lack thereof until 20 weeks, even though it's possible to feel them earlier.

It's not nice to feel rushed out, though :(

I just felt like I was being 'processed' with no regard to who I am and what I'd like out of an appt. Besides the no-doppler issue, my concern is that she's just not that great a midwife - you know how you instantly like and trust someone or you don't...well, sadly with her (even before the doppler thing came up), I didn't.

My3 she sounds like she has no 'bedside manner' which is so important in a midwife. I've never bee measured until the 28 week appt, tho mine did listen for HB, she's same midwife who looked after me in community with dd so we have a rapport. She also asked about movements and reminded me of importance of taking note of pattern so if changes can be checked. She also went through my blood results and checked blood pressure which was v low. Really sounds like yours rushed you out

I think there should be an annual people skills test for all HCPs, it's so important to know how to be with people when most of the people you're going to be with are going to be anxious/ vulnerable.
three if its any consolation, aside from the heartbeat, which it seems from other ladies' posts I was lucky to hear, my 16 weeks appointment wasn't any different in content or length, and i wasn't expecting anything different or even to hear the heartbeat. But because my midwife was kind, gentle, congratulatory and listened it made all the difference and I left feeling positive. What is the 15cm you are measuring? I still don't have a bump...but wasn't expecting to yet particularly... . Hope you're having a relaxing evening, cake is the answer!
X

Can you ask for a different midwife for your next appt mythree? Or talk to your gp?

At my last appt I was kept waiting for an hour and 10 minutes. Despite being given an appt for 9.05am was seen after 10 with an increasingly fractious ds. Was then told by the consultant that next time I should come I at 9.30 as that's when the appts start. The extra 25 min was for the midwife checks for bloods, bp, urine, etc which they didn't bother to do. I had a rush job done on my bloods at the end of my appt as the consultant was adamant I was a thalassemia trait carrier (I'm not). Then wasn't even informed of the results.
I had to get all the regular checks done at the local antenatal clinic at the gps.

Regarding the 'measuring' thing, I was also a little surprised - she whipped out a tape measure and prodded me to feel the uterus and then said it was all fine. I'm sure I'm just extra paranoid as it came out 15, and last week when I was 15 weeks I was doing all that painting and convinced myself I'd done some damage to the baby, so a large part of my annoyance today is that I am not reassured in the slightest and she wasn't reassuring or positive in any way shape or form. enormous bad luck - that's shitty too - I just wish it could be more efficient and we could be treated like people who are also busy and are taking time out of our day to come in and be prodded / have needles jabbed into our arms etc. I.e. a modicum of pleasant manners would be appreciated.