December 2013 - blue, pink, what do you think?

[NomDeClavier]

New thread! Pile in!

It's just what I found. Every one is different and I went from one extreme to another. There are ways to balance things better. It's just finding the balance that works for you and your family that matters.

Hello crying. You are due the day before me. Still have to adx myself to the stats thread lol.

Just came to tell you all I got a bargain today! Avent breast pump from Morrisons. Reduced to £6.25! From about twenty quid I think.

It's the first thing I have bought lol. And I have most of the other stuff I need from family.

We will be calling him second hand Seb pmsl. That is what is good about being from a big family. Someone is always having a baby.

Welcome, Crying! Hope things are going well for you so far
Make sure you add yourself to the stats thread and let us know if you're team pink or blue (or yellow if you've decided not to find out yet!): www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1803742-December-2013-Stats

Very interesting to read everyone's views on work, completely agree that you have to do what's best for you and for the baby at the end of the day.

mumof2 I'm in the same boat as you but sort of at the other end of the spectrum - I'm only 22, I graduated from uni last year and I'm just coming to the end of a 1 year fixed term contract at work (I finish next week!) I'd love to use this as an opportunity to just relax until after the baby is born but unfortunately DP doesn't earn enough to support the two of us, let alone three!

I'm struggling to focus at work just like everyome else, so I've already come to terms with the fact that now is not the time to start a career etc, but at the same time I don't want to settle for something I hate just to pay the bills. Either way, I don't feel like anyone will want to hire me because I'm pregnant and they'd have to find someone to cover me in a couple of months...

Anyway, rant over! Sorry!

Eep, I went away for a few days and missed about five pages! Thanks for that post by the way, frouby I've been fretting a lot about what to do next (I definitely can't stay in care work without going mental). I had been thinking about going into social work up until very recently, but I've had a good think about it and having done work not dissimilar to it before...just no. It's not worth the mental and emotional toll it would take. Sooooo, I'm looking into teaching RE as it's something I'd love to do and I do already have a degree under my belt, so hopefully that would help. However I'm also trying to figure out how to fit this round wanting another child too. But you're right, baby time won't last forever, so I should make the most of it!

Good news over the last few days though, a friend of mine who miscarried at the start of this year (I wrote in here about being worried about telling her I was pregnant) has just had her first scan and is now 11 weeks pregnant! So, so chuffed for her, it totally made my day and brought a wee tear to my hormonal eyes!

Thanks everyone. I feel much better today, think I was just tired and emotional last night. Baby has been kicking away all day which is very reassuring and I have a midwife appointment on Monday anyway so will get checked over then.

Ccsays that's great news about your friend, so lovely when things work out.
Frouby, I also appreciated your post. I'm very busy with work just now and have to keep reminding myself to take it easy and enjoy things. I figure other women manage to have children and a career so it must be possible! wishful thinking

Lady, really sorry to hear about the tough time you've been having and that your mum is ill. It's a lot to deal with, take good care.

Great news about your girls hesto!

Hello everyone else, and welcome crying.

I am working really part time at the mo, and loving it. I think I'm planning to go back to full on satisfying career at some point, but having stepped off the grind of full time work I've kind of got used to it and think I'd find it a bit of a shock to go back, to be honest... I'm hoping that when the kids get older, settled at school a new wave of enthusiasm will take over. We'll see. I too think it's really important for me to have a life outside family, to contribute in ways other than looking after my kids, and vital for my kids especially my DD to see me active in the world and working, but for now I can't seem to muster the will to get out and actually do it. I think part of it is that I can't see myself as ever being as work focused and 'drop everything' workaholic as I was before DD, but of course there is a middle ground to be found...

CC - teaching RE sounds fab! Go for it. Could you study for it between kids? Don't know anything about teaching, but do you get paid for the teacher training bit?

yogafan You do get paid for your probation (teacher training) year, but there's another year of study before that too. I think it may be the sort of thing I'd have to do between or possibly after having kids. DP is a teacher and gets on well with his head of RE so he's going to look into it for me. Definitely need something to focus on career wise though, the work I'm in is difficult but boring, poorly paid, there's no room for progression and I kind of feel like (without waning to sound pig headed) I need something more intellectually stimulating. So I'll see how the land lies and go from there. I'm going back to this job part time, which I think will help me hate it less cope better. I totally get what you mean about wanting your DD to see you being active in the world. I worry about that (especiall in relation to her father) and I think working towards something better would help my self esteem too, this job makes me feel a bit crappy about myself

Anyways, on a less glum note DP just felt his first kick!

thanks for all the welcomes no idea if I'm pink or blue as baby wouldn't show us at the scan. it also wouldn't turn over and show us its spine so I get another scan in the 22nd so will hopefully find out then .

is anyone else exhausted? I'm having to nap for a few hours and am still asleep by half 9 most nights. I thought the second trimester was meant to be full of energy!

Well had my midwife appt at 24+3 shouldn't I have been given my matb1 form?
I know it's at 25 weeks but I don't see the midwife again until after 28, think I'm gonna leave a message at reception for her as head office are gonna need it soon.

Baby was fine and kicking loads, nice strong heartbeat that sounded like a train in a tunnel lol but I'm measuring 26 weeks, so scared I'm gonna have a 13llb baby she said they do get bigger, we'll first was 5llb 6oz and second was 7llb 5oz.
Bloody hell is this one going to be 9llb 4oz???

Alyssa I had a midwife appointment at beginning of week, when I was 24+5 and totally forgot to ask for my MatB1 form. I left a message through reception the next day asking for it, as my dates for maternity leave had to officially be in on Thursday. I got it on Thursday.
And my 2 babies have been 6lb 14oz at 5 days overdue and then 6lb 6oz at 6 days overdue, both times I was told they're going to be big. It was just me who was big

Welcome crying

lady sorry to he's about your mum, hope mx weekend goes well

hesto great news about your babies

My dates for mat leave are officially in with work now. I'm worrying they might say no to a few things though. My manager is on long term sick so ive not been able to discuss it with anyone and get a 'feel' for what they think. I currently work mon-fri, I've asked for 9 days annual leave and then mat leave officially starts mid-Nov. I've opted for 12 months, but then will have a full year annual leave entitlement to add to the end of it and return in January 2015
I've also put that I would like to return to 3 days per week. This is the 3rd baby I've had working for the same company but I'm in a different (much better) role this time, I enjoy it but I know I couldn't do 5 days per week with a small baby & 2 other children. My mum has offered to have the baby 3 days per week. But, the NHS is so stretched, there's currently no one to take on part of my role, and I couldn't do my current work load in 3 days. Although currently, there is no mention of bringing someone in to cover my mat leave, but maybe they were waiting for my to put my dates in writing. Trying not to worry about it too much as the whole place could be different in 12 months anyway, it is the NHS!

Good to know 2labs lol hopefully I'm just the big one, don't know why I'm scared of birthing a big baby, you'd think I was used to pushing them out by now lol.

So good news and bad news,

Good news: found an affordable and lovely caterer...who will even provide server service at our home.

Bad news: Sister1 and I have now had a massive falling out because she's incapable of making phone calls, checking emails and getting things organised and still is bringing literally a bus load of people to my house for her engagement party. I will also be entertaining our parents for that week for the sake of her graduation.

All I was doing was helping her, and all she is doing is throwing it back in my face.

(Well, obviously not anymore) as now I'm too offended to ever have her back in my home. After supporting her for 4 years, and helping her to get into UCL by doing her application for her and coaching her for her interview...I realise now what she is. Spoiled, greedy and worth none of my time.

I wish her seriously bad luck on finding a place to stay with our parents for when she comes back for graduation, I hope her engagement party sucks and I will never let her have any interaction with either of my children for as long as I live. I hope for every pound of weight I lose she gains two. I hope I never see her stupid snotty face again.

Aw Queen . Sounds like you do an awful lot for your siblings..

I envy your patience- I have a strained relationship with my brother ( 30 yr old) where we struggle to be polite to each other & only manage not to fall out if we avoid topics we disagree on! We're just so very different..

As they say, you can't choose your family!

Sorry for everyone having a rough time of it just now :(

Not much been happening here really. Good news is Dh might be getting a job at home instead of on the rigs! Which would be fab, then I can stop worrying about giving birth on my own. Should find out tomorrow so fingers crossed :)

Sorry you're having a rough time queen

I'm a bit worried at the minute, I had really sharp pains last night in my right side and in the same place in my lower back, went away and now this morning I've been having them shooting from groin to just above belly button on both sides of my stomach.

Urine sample was fine at midwives and little one is kicking around great, it's not Brixton hicks as my stomach goes hard with those and are painless and feels nothing like ligaments stretching.

Arghhhhhhhhh why can't pregnancy just be straight forward and to top it all off, dp was too busy watching fast and furious 6 last night to give a shit even when I was curled up on the bathroom floor for an hour. Didn't even come checking..... Needless to say I'm not talking to him today.... The arse!!!

Pregnancy is quite difficult isn't it! It's not supposed to be. Unfortunately for my dh, if I have an ache or a pain I make sure he knows it and he generally can't escape me or my pathetic-ness. I do this because, my husband cries, and calls in sick then crawls into bed when he's got the most minute paper cut...and he can do it for days. He can be very chivalrous otherwise though.

Thank God for you girls! If I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't be able to tell anyone this except sister 2; but sister2 is just an opportunist and always sides with sister 1. I can't really tell friends because unfortunately for us, all our friends are the same.

Sister1 called caterer and agreed, she agreed with our local baker too. Then she called me and apologised, but I'm not sure I can really just forgive and forget such a drastic and dramatic episode. I get her need to be a bridezilla; but this is ridiculous. I just can't be sure if I can really trust her to be around my family after the way she has behaved. I remember getting married--I was younger than her when I got engaged, got married straight out of University, so I had to be organised and figure out finances and all of that.

She is just acting helpless and expects everyone to shell out for her unreasonable expectations that she wont even discuss. I've been best friends with this one since she was born, I've never seen a side of her like this.

Queen, that sounds annoying...

I'm not sure what to do at the moment... I've noticed a lump under my boob which feels very uncomfortable and at night wakes me up in pain... It's only on one side and I've read that the uterus should only be 2 inches above my belly button so don't think it's the baby...

I emailed the non emergency line yesterday but not heard anything and tried to call the comm MWs and ANC numbers on my notes but to answer...

Anyone else had anything similar? (The sonographer did say I have a fibroid at the 20 week scan so it is probably to do with that...) not sure what to do...

bonkers
oh no! I think there should be some lymph nodes around there if I remember correctly. Definitely under a left breast, do you think it could be a swollen one? Because generally (you should definitely have it checked out) swollen lymph nodes aren't harmful.

Hello everyone! Been away for a while on holiday so not been online. Welcome newbies!

Right, I'm away to catch up :)

bonkers I world def get that checked out. it's probably as you say connected to the fibroid but best to check it out anyway and see if there's anything they can do.
queen sounds like you've been incredibly generous already. sounds like your sister needs a bit of a reality check. families are tough!
really not looking forward to work tomorrow. 12 more weeks and counting!

Thanks guys, not sure who to contact though... I've tried the community MWs but still no answer...

It's below my right boob where my bump looks like it should end but that looks quite high in comparison to where the books say it should end (2.5 cms above the belly button! It's more like 5-6 inches above!).

I can wait until tomorrow and try get a dr appt but I have to go get my filling done on tues and working from home on thurs as its results day for dd and going away for the weekend on fri so don't want to take the micky too much at work..

bonkers try NHS 24 maybe?

I've had crazy bump stuff the past couple of days, went from looking slightly thicker round the waist to proper, actual bump in about three days! Also DP can now feels the kicks and I can actually see the kicks! Anyone else round my stage (22 + 2) getting anything similar?

Ahhh! Sister 1's future mother in law just called to ask me what size I am; when I told her a 14--she laughed and said "I thought you were an 18."

I'm going to make sure this woman can't come to the wedding. If I have to hide apples in her bag and call customs myself (destination wedding). I will also make sure immigration knows she may have drugs in her rectum.

ccsays I'm 22+3 and am exactly the same as you. been getting horrific back ache too in my lower back.
DP loves feeling the kicks and today the monkey kicked a biscuit off my belly!

Alyssa hope your pain has eased. Have you seeked any advice over it? think you should definitely get yourself checked out. If you're over 20 weeks (guessing you are) it would be the labour ward at the hospital you're booked at.

bonkers hope you can get through to someone too.

queen sorry you're having a hard time with your sister. The future MIL sounds delightful

I'm feeling like a huge whale now. I had a cry about it yesterday. Even some of my maternity clothes are getting too tight. I'm trying to eat healthly and walk lots but I'm pear shaped and every bit of weight I've put on is on my bum, plus a HUGE bump. I ran pre-pregnancy but after having a early bleeds then finding out I had a low lying placenta until it moved up a few weeks ago, I've not been able to exercise much. Any walking I do now exhausts me
DH has been great, and I know it's not forever, I've lost the baby weight twice before, but right now, at this moment in time, I just feel so fat & unattractive.
I promised myself I wouldn't let myself feel like this this time but I can't help it. I feel worse at weekends, when I have time to ponder over what to wear and look at myself from all angles in the mirror. It's not too bad when I'm working during the week, I don't really have time to worry.

Think I'm just having a down in the dumps weekend, need to give myself a kick up the bum, very huge bum!