December 2013 - part 3

[Holly1977]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1740732-December-2013-part-2

Starting yet another thread as us chatterboxes have filled up 2 already!

Jucy, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Big hugs, wish there was something more I could say.

Frouby, if you're feeling crap just fuck the housework off, I do! It'll keep.

I'm scared and excited in equal measures about the scan on Friday. Looking forward to seeing bean and being able to get on with things. But obviously scared of getting bad news like Jucy... 2 days, 1 hour and 50 minutes to go!

My friend has offered to be a birthing partner too. I may well take her up on it, I suspect she'll be more help than OH. And as I'm planning on having a home water birth and OH has already invited his bloody mum (!) think it'll be good to have a friend there. I'm not private at all, have zero issues with people seeing me naked (as my neighbours will tell you) and she's seen me throw up enough times from our party days (though never shit myself to be fair) that I'm not too fussed about that.

Morning all

Belly has popped lol. Look defo PG now. Or its the remants of the dirty great big lamb biriyani I scoffed last night with a huge dripping with garlic, garlic nan. Paid the price though and was up most of the night with heartburn and wind lol.

Feathers get in touch with Pals. And demand another appointment with either the head of midwives or a different consultant. Write down your concerns before you go and make sure you get every question answered properly before you leave.

Had a new niece born yesterday. Brothers first baby. And I'll tell you something. When I go in labour I don't want my family knowing until baby is here if I can lol. Was like a bloody hotline yesterday with everyone and anyone calling for and with updates.

And then to top it all my mum called at 5.30pm for a lift to the hospital. I wouldn't take her on the basis that baby was born by forceps at 4pm and perhaps sis in law didnt want in laws all piling in so soon. Mother went anyway as DB had asked her to. I did point out that DB hadn't just had a 22 hour labour and a forceps delivery but it fell on deaf ears and she went in a taxi.

FFS. If my DP invites my FIL to hospital to see baby an hour and a half after delivery I swear to God he will need surgical attention when I've done lol. FIL a waste of skin though to be fair. Have a feeling he will turn up like he did when OH was poorly the other year. Outside of visiting times (visiting times clash with the horseracing on TV and pub opening times), hungover, stinking of fags (nothing as sanctimounious as an ex smoker lol) and asking if I have £20 to 'lend' him til his pension is due in. And a couple of quid change for his busfair home even though he has a pass.

You can pick your friends and even your OH's but you are fecking stuck with your family lol.

queen I use sudocrem overnight on spots when they pop up. Takes the redness out of them and dries them out a bit.

Feather You poor poor lamb. You really are having a shit time aren't you. sending you un MN (((hugs)))

Feather that sounds awful. Would it be best to go back to the beginning and chat to a midwife? You should be given your choice of doctor, and since you work there would your colleagues have any advice?

Also incredibly hairy, if I didn't keep on top of it I'd have a beard like Gandalf by the end of the week!

Queen just dab it on the affected patches, it's not an oily cream as such.

Sorry it all seems so crap for you feather. Not sure what to suggest, but talking to your midwife again can't do any harm.

I'm not hairy (not looking forward to that!) and my hair is looking ok too but my skin isn't great. My hormones seemed to have settled a bit but yesterday the crying came back with a vengeance. The worst was when I was watching long lost family and I was crying because I don't want to give my baby up for adoption! It's never even been mentioned or considered!

I have what I think is a silly question - I saw my friend and her baby today. I was having a munch with him and he started crying. I tried to calm him for about 30 seconds then passed him back to mum. Then it dawned on me very soon I'm going to be the one who people pass a baby to after they have made them cry. So, wise mums of the December club, do you just get to know how to calm your baby over time? Is there often a sure-fire thing to do to get your baby to stop crying, or is it very much trial and error each time they cry? Sometimes can it be enough that its you holding them rather than someone else? I know it's a silly question, but I've never really had to deal with a crying baby. They have never been my responsibility, or I've only had to calm them once or twice, not over a long period of time!

Thanks everyone, especially mrs schrubs for the suggestion. Will Sudo cream it up.

I bet I've never looked as attractive.

ganetgob
I think sometimes it was enough that it was me holding ds1 and 2 but with most babies they either want feeding, burping or changing lol, it's trial and error Hun and it'll all come naturally don't worry.

mum

I'm gonna try very hard not to find out the sex......wish me luck. X

You're welcome queen me & my housemates used to sit around with it on when we had nights in, such a funny sight! Hope it works for you!

gannet I think it's something you get the hang of quite quickly and that your own baby instantly feels calmer with their mum because they know your smell and you're the one looking after them. Also I think people panic slightly when a child that's not theirs starts crying on them and just want to hand them back as soon as possible whereas mums persevere with calming the baby down because they're yours. That's what I'm hoping anyway, or for some secret mum knowledge to automatically kick in on birth that no one tells you about!! In 6 months time us first timers will soon be finding out!

Oh my god, mrsshrubs 6 months time... It doesn't seem like long- I'm still getting my head round the fact that I'll have another child by Xmas (or soon after) yikes!

gannet the others are right- you'll soon learn/develop a natural instinct to sooth your baby. The only piece of advice I can give as a mum already is that sometimes babies just cry and even when you've fed, burped and change them they can still scream the place down- sometimes you just have to let them! I wish someone had told me that as I used to get so stressed/anxious when my first cried and I couldn't calm him. Sometimes there isn't a solution. I used to find sometimes DH would have more success calming them (mostly when I'd had enough and DC probably sensed my stress. Funny thing is they pick up on it so I believe I had an easier DC2 because I was more chilled.

Btw, anyone still waiting for results of combined test/ risk ratio from nuchal scan? I'll be on holiday when it comes thru :-( I guess if I don't get a call then all is well...

Hi ladies, I just wanted to come back and say goodbye and good luck to you all with your pregnancy's and babies. You are all going to make wonderful amazing mummies :)

We saw the consultant again today, it has been confirmed after the initial amnio test baby has downs and possibly a heart problem. We had another scan today and there is loads more fluid around baby now, if you imagine a side view the fluid is now going all around the skull and down the spine, there is a lot around the lungs too. This has confirmed to us baby will not survive.
We have taken the decision to terminate and I took the first set of drugs today, we go into hospital Thursday to continue treatment and termination. I am happy (possibly not the right word but I am sure you know what I mean!) with our decision, I just feel knowing baby will die sometime in the next 30 days is too much to bear, at least this was it is our decision and we have some control.
We are feeling strangely ok atm, in fact last night I slept really well after getting the result! But I know it's going to be once it's done it'll be worse.
Thank you all for all your kind messages, it was lovely. Love to you all, hopefully by the end of the year I'll be on another anti-natal chat :) xxx

Take good care fluffy, lots of love to you. Good luck for the next few days, and for the rest of the year and journey into motherhood. Pop in and say hi and let us know how you are xxx

Take care fluffy and thank you for your lovely wishes. Thinking of you. xx

Take care fluffy... Look after yourself!...xx

Lots of love to you Fluffy. I wish you all the comfort in the world. x

Take care of yourself fluffy. I admire you for being so strong and positive. xoxo

Take big care Fluffy, you will be in my thoughts. xxx

Take care Fluffy, thanks for updating us. I'm sorry it's such bad news, hope the both of you get through it ok.

I've been having little spots of blood here and there since the weekend and am trying not to worry (and follow my own advice to Music!!). I have a feeling it's fine and it's just something going on with my cervix as they've all been after certain events, namely sex, straining for a poo and (sorry tmi) an erotic dream early this morning (clearly I'm not getting enough sex!!). It's not a lot of blood at all, just a bit when I wipe after the loo. There's no pain and I feel fine. In fact, like you Frouby, I've suddenly started looking pg in the last couple of days. Though that was partially constipation related which has now resolved itself after a rather dramatic time on the toilet last night (sorry, tmi again!). By gum, being pg is fun isn't it?!

I phoned the midwife and she was rubbish and completely non committal. So I phoned the GP but couldn't get an appointment until tomorrow morning which will also mean being late for work which will mean explaining why I'm late to bitch colleague which I don't feel like doing cos she's such a doom monger. She had piles the other year and was convinced she had late stage bowel cancer! AND the stupid fecking GP have changed the rules about how and when you book appointments but when I said "oh have you changed how you book appointments" she said no and made me feel like some kind of loon. Urgh, NHS are so annoying.

Anyway, I do think it's probably fine but would like to see the GP for some reassurance and discussion of what it might be. I've had 3 colposcopies in the past and on the last one they cut a chunk out of my cervix. I remember reading something at the time about pregnancy and child birth but can't remember what it said. So I'm wondering if it's hormonal changes making my cervix behave a bit strangely. Trying to make myself step away from the keyboard and stop googling it now!

Rant over!

We got our combined results in, 1 in 6027.

Feather - might it be worth making a complaint? If only to make them buck their ideas up a bit and start treating you with a bit more professionalism? Hospitals have dedicated complaint departments now and in my experience take it seriously if you make a formal written complaint. It's very poor form for any professional to take a phone call in the middle of an appointment, especially when it's not something that actually matters or couldn't have waited. And they fucked your appointment up, where's your apology for that? And I think what you need is a decent professional team of caregivers rather than shower of shite it sounds like you've got now. Though I'm sure talking to a counsellor or similar won't do any harm.

Ganet, I was holding a brand new prem baby on Saturday (soooo tiny and cute!) and his dad told me to tap his bottom as it reminds them of your heartbeat. Totally worked! But also agree with what everyone said above. I'm sure it's easier when they're yours and you're attuned to them and them to you.

OH has started taking pics of my bump to make a bump diary!

Finally, sorry for such a long post (!) H&M have got a brilliant maternity range and all quite reasonable too. Only at their larger stores (like Trinity in Leeds) but I got loads of stuff yesterday including a swimming costume. AND I managed not to punch the stupid smug girl when she wouldn't give me the hangers cos they're trying to be more environmentally friendly!!

Fluffy take care of yourself xx

Holly def tell your midwives about the treatment to your cervix and if your midwife is rubbish call the antenatal department, you will probably need to have a cervical scan to check length and be under consultant care- most trusts will do this at booking- as some ladies who have had a cone biopsy/funneling to the cervix need a stitch around 23 weeks.

I only had a laser treatment and still have to be under a consultant just so they could scan my cervix- this is despite having 2 previous full term pgs. I would phone your midwife now and focus on the cervical questions - you will probably be seen much quicker and be listened to and should be quickly reassured.

Thanks Kyz. Right, spoken to an actual mw this time rather than what I think might have been the receptionist before! She said not to worry, it could be that now's the time I would have had my period so it could be that. Also my history might mean my cervix is more sensitive than normal or might have scar tissue. And that there's loads more blood to the whole area during pg and it's quite common to bleed a bit, especially after sex and bowel movements. She said as long as it's just a small amount on wiping not to worry and see the GP tomorrow. He may do a visual inspection of the cervix (really looking forward to that!) and/or arrange a scan, either of bump and/or of cervix. Either way the mws can do bugger all basically so def need to see GP. Hope it all settles down, really don't fancy having a cervical stitch at all!

Holly Good I'm glad you have spoken to someone, You will probably need a scan as I'm not sure how much a GP would be able to see and how he could measure- I would request a scan anyway, It is internal though but does mean you get to see baby, the cervix can change and grow on my 1st scan mine was the normal end of short on my second it was long.

Fluffy take care and look after yourself, will be looking out for your name popping up around here in the future xx

Holly it's good that the mw was able to reassure you and that you get to see GP so hopefully you'll be properly monitored.

Just come back from 16w mw appointment and got to hear Archibald's heartbeat :) He kept moving away so the mw kept having to chase him lol but feeling elated :)
Meant to ask her to prescribe me some safe antihistamines though, and just realised I never got bloods done for Down's... I'm only young and scan was all fine so dunno what to do about that now...

Thanks Kyz, will do. I can cope with an internal, it's not like I haven't had enough of them over the years with my stupid cervix! Never had one by a man though, used to have a MAJOR phobia about them so that would be a big deal for me. Only got through colposcopies with a friend holding my hand and lots of valium! But I suppose now's the time to get over all that once and for all.

That's lovely ABC, congrats. I want to know what flavour we're having more than ever now so I can start referring to it as Isabel or Sebastian!

Don't think you can take any oral antihistamines safely (or that they can be sure are safe anyway). I've been given Beclothemathasone nasal spray (steroid) and eye drops. Which seem to be working quite well. Not as good as proper antihistamines but it's bearable now I'm using them daily.

Morning all

Fluffy, take care of yourself. And come and find us all again when you get your next BFP and let us know how you are getting on from time to time. And don't be too brave about everything. Give yourself permission to grieve. Its easy for people to say 'oh its for the best' and 'at least it was early' but it is a baby to you and your OH and loosing a baby must be devastating. xxxx

Holly I'm sure its something and nothing hun. My sister had some surgery on her cervix a couple of years ago. In fact she had a tiny part of her womb removed I think. Anyhows, she now has an 18 month old 'miracle' baby. They thought her new OH was infertile due to him TTC with a previous partner for 3 years. Previous partner then when and got pregnant within a few months of seperating. And then added to it sisters recent op they assumed they were safe. Obviously not lol.

She did have a little bleeding from time to time too. Once at about 12 weeks I think, then later on. And I've mentioned it before but she had a massive bleed when she was carrying her son at 20 weeks.

But its very easy to sit and worry and worry and worry isn't it. I've got a niggly pain in my pelvic area to one side today. Think its with pushing a trolley round 1 handed for half an hour whilst I listened to my BF witter on about not very much lol. How is it that woman can be on the phone for so long and talk about so little? Baffles my OH that I can have spent 2 or 3 hours with her, then speak again at teatime and still be on the phone for ages.

Been looking at baby clothes today. Was tempted to buy a pack of sleep suits reduced to a fiver in neutral colours but trying to hold off until I have re-decorated. I also desperatley want to move. We only have 2 bedrooms here and although baby will be in with us for at least 6 months, probabaly 12 I still think we need more space. Well we don't actually. We need to de-clutter and de-crap all the things we have and get a bit more organised.

Anyone started looking at prams and stuff yet? Any thoughts? I had seen some bargains on Amazon (new) but OH watched a programe (watchdog type thing) the other night where they were testing unbranded or copies of branded prams and he is now insistent that we go to one of the highstreet shops like Mothercare.

I did think I wanted a pram with a carrycot and carseat. However having looked at some reviews and descriptions I think most of them (in my price range of £300) you have to either have the pram on, the car seat or the carrycot. My pram for DD didnt have a carrycot but the carseat just slotted on top of the pushchair bit which seems much easier than faffing around. I will use the car probably at weekends and in the week I can walk (and intend to, to shift the lbs). But I will sometimes want to use the car in the week, but that would mean swapping to the carrycot bit all the time for the school run, which is much easier on foot.

Its a bloody minefield lol. And I know as soon as baby is old enough I will swap to a Maclaren buggy so its probably only for the first 12 months or so, then big pram will be used to take to horse shows as they are great for stashing stuff in the basket underneath.

And speaking of hairs and embarrassing problems whilst you are PG I have an ingrowing hair. Right on my flue. Don't half bloody hurt. I don't usually get them so am blaming being PG. Its very, very sore and am hoping it pops tonight in the bath! Its the second one I have had since being PG so instead of shaving from now on I will be getting OH's clippers round it for a short, back and sides lol.

Not sure what we're having yet, the nickname Archibald has just stuck lol, and we're convinved it's a boy anyway

Just got the post and received two letters for hospital appointments with absolutely no info about what they were for which was slightly alarming!!

I called the hospital and eventually deduced that one is an appt with a consultant to discuss my previous c-section and plans if I do go ahead with a c-section again (which I think I have decided I probably will).

The other one is for the VBAC clinic in case I decide to go the natural route.

Wish they could have made the letters a bit more self explanatory - the lack of info scared me and meant I ended up wasting their time with double checking stuff.

Our nickname is currently 'plum' based on the fact that's how big we think it is! Not particularly imaginative....