Due in August - part 5

[PinkTulips]

think it's part 5 anyway!

Hahaha PinkTulips!
I don't have any such excuse!!

You haven't had any luck with your notes then?

Pinky, forgot your in Ireland aren't you?
Well I would write one anyway and keep it with you and then stick it in your hospital bag for the big day. Even if your MW suggests that you write one, you can wap it out on the table and say here you are!
I have to say I feel much better about writing mine and more clear about it.

Sal, I think my dh is going through a similar thing but I know full well its down to the stress of everything thats going on atm. He always worries about how things will be for us i.e. money, will there be enough? etc. I also caught him telling his mum on the phone the other day that he's worried about me as he knows I'm not feeling 100% and with him working 60+ miles away atm he feels quite helpless.

I'm sure your worrying about Eeny too. Its such a massive change to your lives. One day your going about your everyday lives, the next day your expecting a baby and your whole lives about to change! It can be an overwhelming feeling and I'm sure everyone deals with it differently. Your feelings of reclusiveness might be your way of wanting to be at home with Eeny to look after her.

I'm sure your not on your own
Have you spoke to the other dads on here?

YellowFeathers!

Thanks so much for summing up how I feel.
That is gosh-darned perfect!

I've had moments like this before but the past few days have just been swamping.

I've started a thread asking for other dads to come forward - hopefully some will.

I've never seen any, but of course it's hard to identify with all the nicknames!

I do really worry about Eeny. I just want everything to be okay for her and the birth and Alexander...

Awwww

Well you know your not on your own and its great that Eeny has someone that she can rely on.
I'm quite sure everything will be fine for her and the baby.

Thanks Yellow!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure you're right.

This is such a great place!

I've never found message boards to be so accepting and useful before.

It's only appropriate I guess, after all Eeny and I met over the Internet!

Awww did you really?

When the other men come out to play you'll know. They are very funny

Salamander, my DH is finding it all a bit hard going too, and doesn't have the network of close RL friends that I do--every day at school I have 5 or 6 mums asking how I'm feeling and how the latest appt went, but he has just started a new job and doesn't really know anyone well enough to confide in. It's difficult when you desperately want things to be OK with your partner and baby, but you have no control over the outcome; all you can do is wait and be there for them.

Thanks Arabica/Yellow and all!

I've got a few people who I work with who constantly ask, which is really nice. but we don't have a very large 'support network' either of us - just a handful of people.
Eeny's family are in America and my family is either scattered, not interested or unwell.

We're a very clingy couple ! So we've got each other!!!!! And a few really good friends!!

Not forgetting of course everyone here on MUMSNET!!!!

Tbh Sal, dh and I don't have any friends as such. We are very close with dh's brother and his fiance but they are child free so theres only so much they can understand.
I think dh has had a bit of support at his work as all his collegues are female and the majority have had kids.

Same situation at my work Yellow. It's really handy. A lot of them feel they know Eeny through me! They ask about her all the time.

my dp had the same when i was pregnant with dd, a few of his work mates had kids and one was due one 2 months after me. there were also loads of women with kids working there, it helped him alot to have people to talk to about babies and crazy pregnant women as none of our old friends have kids or wanted to talk about them.

i think people underestimate how stange and confusing it can be for the dad and what a massive change his life is going through as well. they're just supposed to know exactly what to say and do for their parner when she's pregnant and jump right in and care for this little person who needs everything done for them 24/7. it can be so overwhelming yet everyone is concerned about the mother sometimes we forget the dad is struggling too.

I've checked out the dads thread Salamander started - its manic!! I do agree, Pinky, that most people expect Dads to just get on with it, myself included at times I am sure, but how it must seem to them I cant imagine, what a strange experience! Watching your partner change and often suffer and also contemplating having a tiny little baby to look after & provide for.

Hope everybody is well today. Yesterday I cancelled our booking for NCT antenatal classes as we decided that although we can afford it, we would rather put the money to something else. But our NHS classes were booked late so we couldnt get in any until AUGUST! So I might pop while actually sitting there in a class!

PinkTulips you are correct!!!

It is wierd - very wierd.

The mum and the dad come at it from different angles and could learn a lot from each other.
:)

Sal my dh feels the same , he just cant quite express it in the same way you can. Hes not happy with his job right now so its making him tired, anxious and hes getting headaches loads. He sees me going through all the therapy and stuff and is a bit freaked that may be Ill be as bad as last time.

I have tried to get him on here , but hes not so open to it. Its great you can come on here and chat, good for us to getting male perspective on things.

I find hard in rl that I can only really confide in my mum and sister about all the stuff Im going through with regards to previuos PTSD/PND. I wouldnt dare discuss it with some aqauntances(I seem to have them more than anyone really close), or even MIL !!

Melsy I am sorry your DH is going through a hard time as well - hopefully the therapy will make this time go easier for you and he wont need to worry so much. It's hard for men to open up to anyone but I would imagine possibly more so to strangers on a message board - but he might find its a good stress reliever.

Woohoo!

I've just got a letter to say I can have Maternity Allowance!
Phew!!!
Thats a big relief!

yellowfeathers - YAY!!! congratulations!! ooh you have reminded me that I need to apply for mine as well! I am happy for you, thats one less thing to worry about!

I've just looked at the Maternity Allowance info pages and found out that I can apply for it (having previously been told duff info!!!) Have got all my stuff together that I need - just need to see mw tomorrow to get mat1b form. Does anyone know how long it takes to get an answer?

Hi Everyone, Sorry to start a totally different topic but when do you start to pack your labour bag? I cant remember.

Sarahlou....\link{http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/Dev_008115.xml.html\download form here}

I have also found out today i will be getting this, and it took about 2 weeks from sending the form in to being told i qualify, i did chase them up a bit though (they can be a bit dozy!)

I think its only a few weeks , as long as they dont send it back and say can midwife write yuor name on it!!! Even though it was posted to me in my name & I had written my name on the back, but no they had to have my name written by somoene on the other side,I mean have you ever. !!!

Great news on the allowance Yellow , I get a little every month for being self employed.

Have my 1st odd craving ever , from now on I will be moslty sucking , sniffing and chewing dd's wooden lolly sticks !!!!!! That and sticking my head in her natural wooden dolls house!!!

Good to have somethng funny to talk about rather than all my therapy stuff. Yellow if you still want to have a read my thread, its the one on whacky therapy in pregnancy.

oops didnt say ; 1st sentance was about mat allowance btw !!!

Thanks everyone

micro, i've always been told to have the labour bag on standby from 30 weeks. had it sitting there from 27 weeks last time being used as a cat bed! still haven't gotton a damn thing for it this time as i keep finding better things to spend money on than maternity pads and slippers!

dp has a job interview tomorrow up in mayo so we might be moving before the birth too, would really love to get out of this horrible overpriced apartment but afraid to get my hopes up in case i'm still stuck here in august.

Hi all! Haven't read thru all the threads as there are so many! Will take time at work tomorrow.

Anyone else feel like something is going to happen soon? Keep having painful BH's but they are so bad i'm on the floor! Feel like i did with ds contractions. And my bump really couldn't get any lower or bigger! And morning sickness has come back.

New craving....Dettol antiseptic stuff. Dh says house smells like an old peoples home And Dove shamp/Cond, handwash, soap and deodorant! HELP! Have even taken to licking the soap in the shower, can't help it !