Due in September 2006- part three...count down to summer!

[Coriander73]

New thread Bella...as promised!!!

Agree with Mabel Bella, you have to do what suits the three of you. For what it's worth DD slept in her own room from day one in a moses basket on top of the cotbed. After 7-8 weeks ish she went straight into cotbed as she didn't like the basket much then as she kept on hitting the sides & waking herself up! We're doing the same with new baby....

Can I have a quick rant please? As mentioned below friend who has been here for weekend has really irritated me not only for critical eye cast on DD but for this: I know all first time Mothers feel proud & marvel at every little thing that their baby does - we've all been there I'm sure!! However this friend is constantly & I mean constantly telling me to look at her baby, look what she's doing, isn't it amazing, isn't it this, isn't it that, the best, the cutest etc etc. Now, the baby is very cute etc but the more my friend goes on about it the more I just don't want to hold her because when I do her Mother is like how have you made her laugh, what's so fuuny, be careful, can you believe she's made that sound, blah blah blah. Of course given the heat & the fact that our hormones are raging somewhat maybe I'm just being far too sensitive but I swear to God I do not recall being this annoying with my DD!! I'm just surprised at how much it's been winding me up for the past 3 days!!!!! Tell me, I am being harsh?

Thanks for advice ladies - shall play it by ear then and see how I feel. The thing is if the little one goes into their own room the door will have to be closed as we have 2 cats. I just feel happier knowing that people don't have a problem with them being in their own room early on.

Coriander - I think some people are just annoying like that! I would probably be the same as you, your friend is obviously very loved up and totally oblivious to how she is behaving!
I would agree though that hormones and heat don't help in the patience stakes!!

Hiya all.
Wow all this talking of bag packing & birth plans makes me feel hugly unorganised . I've bought some breast pads & maternity pads (only cause they were on offer & that's it so far). We're not bothering with a birth plan as last time everything went out the window because I laboured early. This time we're totally playing it by ear. Only thing I've stated is that whether it be home or hospital birth I don't want to be offered pain relief (incase I give in, would rather wait until I asked for it personally iykwim), would love dim(ish) lighting & mainly peace to let me get on with it. Oh yeah nearly forhot the most important one. As we don't know the sex, I only want dp to tell me. Just think it's kind of romantic that he sees lo then leans over, kisses me & says we have a ..... Lol I'm a soppy cow.

Claire- Hope you're ok after your accident, must've given you a fright.
Mabel- Sorry to hear about your friends, that's so sad.

Re: moses baskets. Weird as my ds1 & ds2 did'nt like them neither. Much preferred the cot.

arrr - HK - you are so soppy - bless!

Bella - we have cats too - in our old house it was possible to shut them downstairs at night, but isn't in this house, so they go out at night now. As long as you have a monitor though - they are so sensitive they pick up more than you would anyway.
Cori - I have a friend like that - she is a baby bore - harsh, but when you have seen your own child develop & you have seen them go through all these stages, and move on to do much more exciting things, there's only so much you can listen to. Maybe when she has her next one she realise how much she went on and on and on .........!!!!

cori - forgot to add - when your friends DD gets a bit older and stops being so angelic and starts exhibiting 'normal' toddler behaviour she will be tut tutting on the other side of her face!

Hi girls.

cori sorry about your friend. I can undesrstnad you being annoyed. please ignore her tutting re your dd's tantrums - anyone who's had a toddler knows they're just part of life.

LC so glad you slept well

mabel I had a firend who had pregancy deafness and it sounded terrible. So glad you've got a referral

Bella we moved ds into his own room about day 3 as my dh is a light sleeper and it seemed stupid us all being awake in the night. Also ds was quite snuffly and tended to start stirring about 30 mins before he wanted to feed so I'd wake and hear him and lie there wondering if I should just feed him or leave him to wake...

homemama praying for you

Re pain relief - last time I wanted the pool but someone was in so I couldn't have it. Just used TENS (which I loved and will hire again even if it was just placebo) and then gas and air. Having said that, labour was quick (about 3.5 hours). Not sure that I wouldn't have wanted more pain relief if it'd been much longer!

Woohoo, postman has just delivered box of dressed from jojomamanbebe - off to try on. Really hope something fits - BILs wedding is 2 weeks on Saturday.

HK you soppy thing! but i'm so hormonal that wonderful idea reduced me to tears as well so i can't talk!

cori you poor poor thing - when does the friend leave? do you have any tongue left after biting it for so long

cori, feel for you re. the weekend visitors and the baby boredom!... DS is quite boistrous and v. energetic, I visited a friend recently with a younger baby, and DS kept pushing her over - my friend kept saying he was "nasty" - we haven't been to visit them since.. An approaching 2 year old old isn't nasty, just has no sense or idea of own strength. And it wasn't as if I just sat back and let him do it - I did stop him. Also feel for you re. the crying at bed time - nightmare!! But there's no reason why your baby should do that - doesn't sound as if your DD does, so why would the baby?!

Mabel, good luck with the ENT specialist. It must be v. frustrating. And shock re. your friends - it's hard when this happens. Are you friends with them both? Always difficult not to get stuck in the middle...

Bella, I think your plan re. sleeping is fine. We have never had DS in his room with the door open, as we also have cats. Anyway, I think it's good if they sleep with the door shut and in the dark. if you're concerned, have a monitor and put it (on low volume - they are so loud!!) in your room over night. You won't miss a peep or rustle... We had DS in our room until he slept through from late feed to morning - 9 weeks (he was a big baby so slept through q. early), then moved him into his own room. Did naps in his room always. This time, we're planning to all move into the (soon to be un-)spare room, DH, me and Baby and then DH and I will move out when Baby sleeps through. I never really understood why you should have them in your room for 6 months - they say for cot death risk, but I always thought that such a tragedy would happen silently, so would it make any difference which room the baby was in?

Thanks for asking about the accident - I'm fine. Was just a bit shaken at the time and a bit tearful. Was also worried about DH being cross as the car is less than a month new to us... But he was fine, no injury apart from hurt pride, and DS wasn't there, so all's well. The car is a company one too, so hopefully the insurance will just deal with it. Not doing too well with cars recently - I got a speeding ticket a couple of weeks ago - going to go and do a 3 hour "speeding" course instead of taking any points... Now you'll all think I'm a terrible driver - I'm not, honest!

Oh yes, forgot to say in mammoth post about bag packing and buying stuff. I have bought nothing, haven't thought about the bag.. I have started a list of things we need to get, includes new bed for DS, mattresses, all sorts of things so I should get my ar*e into gear soon really.

No birth plan thoughts either.. The nearest I've got is I think I'm going to book elective C-section for 39 weeks, and then if I go into labour earlier, give it a go... DS arrived at 38, so that's possible.

Thanks guys! You've made me all feel a bit more human & rational again!!!! As for the crying bit Clairemow, no DD never did that so perhaps that why it really annoyed me! She woke us all up at 5am this mroning & neither of us have been back to bed....... bad enough when it's you own but someone elses?!!!! I've got to drop her off at Stansted this evening.

HK...that's so lovvely :o We don't know the sex either but I'd like to think I'll be awake this time so can hear someone tell me what we've got!! Last time I remember MW marching in the recovery room with DH saying "wakey wakey, your baby is here" & in my confused & dazed state saying what is it...DH whispered it's girl as he put her down beside me.....:)

Cori, glad you feel better now. Bet you're looking forward to dropping them off!!! in my experience, most babies don't cry for 1 1/2 hours a night before going to sleep at 9 months old if they know how to settle and are tired, but not over-tired...

Clairemow, My whole plan is based on ds2 not arriving until at least his due date ! and then by planned c-section.

I was planning on packing my hospital bag the night before like I did last time.

You guys have given me a reality check.

The to do list :-

Must get maternity pads now, plus enormous disposable pants, breast pads in case I leak before things dry up oh, and some new-born nappies.

Must have a huge clearout of clothes that DH and I will never wear again to make space in our room for the cot.

Must clear all the junk in the spare room that is blocking my access to the boxes that have the new-born babygrows in.

Must hire a cleaner who is not too appalled at the messy state of our house to be able to find the motivation to hoover and dust round the piles of "stuff".

Must ....., oh the list is endless.

Plus there's Big Brother to watch in the evenings distracting me from anything useful but helping keep the blood pressure down.

Thinking of you and I hope things were bearable today Homemama, when you get a chance to catch up on this thread.

Cori, that brought tears to my eyes

Homemama, Thinking about you x

Bella - we planned on having DS in the same room as us for 6 months - we managed 4 weeks because he snored! We moved him to the next room and left the door open so we could still hear him snuffle but eventually closed the door as snuffles aren't that important and when they cry - a closed door won't help! But do what's right for you, you'll know what that is when it happens. If you did want to leave LO in another room with the door open I think you can get cat nets to go over the cot to stop them getting in - my friend has one as she has two of the little monsters! Funny thing is now her DD is 18 months it's the cats we're worried about!

Got all my newborn clothes out last night and wrote instructions for dealing with DS and house/hospital info down for whoever comes to babysit! DH thinks I'm being too organised but after friday I've been acutely aware that it all needs to be done so why not sooner? Clothes are so tiny though!

Thanks so much guys - think i shall invest in a good baby monitor and have the little one in their own room after a few weeks. But as a lot of you have pointed out I shall have to see how I feel when the time comes.......best laid plans and all that!

Cori - arh lovely way to be told the sex of your baby by DH, really beautiful!
I too am harbouring all sorts of romantic notions as to how we will get told.......ooh makes me feel very excited!!

We have only really bought a pram so far - need a big shop for all stuff I will need although must admit am not exactly rushing to buy san pads, breast pads and the like........YUK YUK! I guess its inevitable so I should just let go but at the moment things like that make me shudder a bit!!
Mabel - shame about your friends. Its always sad isn't it and makes you hold your own DH a bit tighter when you realise how quickly things can go wrong.

Hey ladies!

Finally the cooler weather is here! And ordered a big box of playmobil for DD which came today so the tantrums have been to a minimum except nothing has been done because I have been sat on the floor building an aztec ruin for her.

As for friends with nightmare children- i have one and her son is slightly older than my DD. He is so naughty and she just sits there drinking coffee saying how tired she is! Try actually doing something with your child and being preg! Sorry but sometimes it just pisses me off. Also she puts him in a travel cot to contain him all the time or in his cot (he is 2) and expects I should with my DD too (she will be 2 in Sept). I personally think, and each to thier own but I don't like them. Our house is child-friendly and DD can't hurt herself; yes she may get into mischeif if she is left too long but then the answer is simple- don't leave her too long. Friend is known to put her DS in travel cot and have an hour long bath, bear in mind he does go to nursery from 9.15am- 1pm every week day and goes to bed at seven. GRR, then she says she wishes she was having another baby! It makes me furious when she judges me as 'doing too much' with DD just because we paint, play with playmobil , and go in the paddling pool etc... We do things mums do with thier kids! And she judges DD's tantrums, which I might add I feel are more controlled than her childs, although I am biased; she does tend to bribe him off with what he wanted tho any how which is hence why his tantrum ends quicker. Needless to say when bubba comes I am going to try and avoid her coming here and pffer to meet her out as his tantrums are less when he is actually doing something.

Have worked out I need to get a few more bits for hospital bag- Do you ladies have two bags? (one for labour then one for ward, or just one??? And if so how do you fit it all in one bag?

• I think I need two more night shirts, with buttons/similar to bf (I have a pair of pjs from when DD was born but other night shirts have passed there best)
• Newborn nappies
• Flannels
• New dressing gown

Hi Pol - know how you feel! I have friend (who is lovely) and her DD is 22 months, my DS is 19 months but bigger. But - her DD has hit him and is really nasty to him and he looks so hurt and sorrowful and goes to play in the corner on his own but my friend just says 'oh, you know, she might be small but having brothers has taught her to stand up for herself' - since when is it 'OK' for girls to hit boys as part of standing up for themselves??? Grrr.

I have one smallish suitcase with wheels - packed one side with labour stuff and other with 'first night and day stuff'. Also packed a bag for DH to bring in the day after to top me up with baby supplies and, more importantly, FOOD! :o

I hadn't even thought about a labour bag and an after bag - was going to do a me bag, a LO bag and then the picnic hamper for DH! will that work does anyone think?

Am having to take small overnight bag every time I go to ANC i ncase they keep me in anyway.

Another question - big mens pj's would work ok wouldn't they - I haven't owned a nightie since i was a child and can't imagine having to get some now - anyone have any good ideas? our ante natal wards have gowns that cross over at the front so I guess some pj bottoms would work maybe with those too?

am going to do shop tomorrow for newborn nappies etc for bag. have got little newborn things in the wash at the moment so we can start packing those

is anyone else shattered at the moment? I'm off for a nap, which follows 13 hours sleep last night

pol am at your friend - i wouldn't dream of 'containing ' my child in a travel cot - like you we have a baby proof house but I still wouldn't leave him for an hour and soak in the bath!!!
It is hard work entertaining them full time, but that's half the fun surely!
My FIl said once I gave DS too much freedom (he and my MIL regularly put DH and his brother in a play pen and they were both at home all day as he worked from home and she was a SAHM!!!)
I felt like saying he's a child not a pet guinea-pig!

Hi everyone.
Sorry it's taken me until now to post but I elt so shattered that I just went to sleep with DS this afternoon.

We've had wonderful news in that the tube is now connected to the bladder and kidney and therefore the kidney in functioning. This was the biggest worry as we didn't know if the baby would have a functioning kidney or whether it would need removing. There is still a much smaller problem in that the renal pelves (the connecting tube) was enlarged and this could mean that the baby is prone to UTIs after birth but this seems a small issue compared to the worry we had been facing. I have to go back again in 5/6wks to have that looked at again.

I cannot begin to expain how relieved we are and I want to thank everyone one here for the their support and messages. Thank you all!

:) Wonderful news homemama - I'm sure everyone is going to be so relieved for you :)

Lysettes - picnic hamper should be for you too! Sorry if I seem obsessed with food but was so hungry after having DS! I bought some (1 size up from my pre-pregnancy size) joggers for £3 each from asda when I had DS and some baggyish t-shirts. These did on the ward but also when I got home for round the house as it will be some weeks (months in my case) before you can even hope to fit into anything 'normal'! They also doubled up as day/nightwear so saved the pennies for buying romper suits!

Homemama that is wonderful news.

quick Hijack
Hi coriander thanks so much for your good wishes!! good luck to all you lades - not long now!!

Jesus Christ Pol...that friend sounds like she needs a reality check...ggggrrrrrrrrr . It would never occur to me to put a DD in a travel cot to "contain her"...especially now she's approaching two. FFS, what planet is she on? I'm dropping friend off shortly & sadly...I can't wait! She has just taking great delight in showing me photos she took of my DD & her's but adding comments like "this is where your DD wouldn't share" "this is where she was going to have a tantrum" etc etc....ARRGGGHHHH I'm so going to enjoy it when her daughter is approaching 2!!

You'll all scaring me now being so organised with packing your bags!!!!!!!! I have got a couple of those "lovely" (!!) front opening nighties in the airing cupboard just waiting to be used again & I surely want be fooled into buying loads of toiletries again or paper knickers!!!!! :o

HM, you must be so relived...we're all so happy for you!

Homemama, fantastic news!!!!

Pol, a nightmare friend. I know that previous generations used to put their babies in playpens for much longer than we ever do, but thought that was simply because we have more devices to save time, like dishwashers, washing machines etc. not sheer laziness, like wanting to have a bath in the the middle of the day!!!