November 2013-thread 4- nattering our way through the first trimester

[honey86]

pow... here goes another

Boy I think it's a good plan to still go to the wed appointment. It'd be a reassurance, especially if you still have bleeding. If you aren't sure, can you ring and talk to a midwife? Do you have a community midwife number? That's the one I rang last time when I mc. Maybe someone who's medically trained can talk you through the best options.

Fairy omg, £1000. That's making me really angry for some reason!

Suffolk - well, she did check for that - particularly as I've got such bad sickness. But she said there was only 1 little person to be seen.

I guess the bleeding COULD be a 'vanished twin' , and they do run in our family. Or I'm hoping it could just be something non major.

Still a bit paranoid why some of my other symptoms have disappeared - my boobs are utterly deflated. But surely if heartbeat still strong etc it can't be that as presumably symptoms wouldn't diminish until after anything happened to baby?

boy i'd go for the scan next week for sure - it'll reassure you no end

x post boy - dont worry about fading symptoms. i've basically none!

one its a ridiculous situation altogether. i know that some on here may be offended that i've had one but it takes a lot of courage to speak up about it so i hope people understand that i had my reasons. i went through a protracted period of grief and it does make it hard that nobody in RL knows anything.

Thanks Fairy.

I too had one, many years ago. It absolutely tore me up & I had to pay a small fortune to go privately as well. I actually got a GP who told me it was 'against her morals' to refer me I especially hate, when they now ask how many PGs you've had in hospital, and you have to declare it...

thats ridiculous boy. you should be able to make up your own mind about your health and future - no matter what that means. they were careful at my hosp appt to refer to my first baby rather than my first pregnancy - i noticed that straight off.

still smiling from your good news post tho! its so great to hear positive things from sad beginnings

suffolk that was just across the border in Southern Ireland but the rules are vv similar. The midwife told me on Tuesday that she recently had a teenager in who'd been raped and they had to send her to England for a termination. Utterly ridiculous.

Fingers xd your HG is going!

Wonderful news boy I am so pleased for you, I was hoping it would all turn out to be ok!

Fairy I know about the Indian dentist case, and that's how I know about abortion rights in NI. It's so sad about the teenager you mentioned too. She'll have to go through this away from her home, most of her friends and family. (Assuming she'll only be accompanied by one person).

I had one done years ago, but it was on the NZ public health care. I had pre-operation counselling. And a post operation check up a few weeks afterwards to check I was all ok. I felt very supported throughout the whole process. It's a very traumatic experience, and I don't think anyone goes into it lightly.

I did declare it on my last birth, but no one said anything about it. I didn't notice anything about first birth/pregnancy. I didn't put it in on my medical notes this time. I reckon if it's not important last time, then I assume they'll only look at my previous birth.

Boy fantastic news!!

Tbh I think I would be inclined to go for the scan. For reassurance at the least and also because you are still bleeding with cramps after the scan today. How many weeks are you?

Great news Boy, definitely keep the appointment.

Feeling very down today myself, really weepy and DH isn't helping at all, he just keeps sniping. Basically I owe just over £2k on an original debt of £7k that my ex husband left me with, I went with a debt management agency before I met him...he is pissed about the fact it's not all payed off (so am I as I've been paying over £220 a month for the last 6 years) and wants me to put it on his credit card. I refuse to do this as I know it will be thrown in my face. He started shouting at me about it, saying I was being irrational, then said he shouted as I was getting hysterical (I had only said I'm sorry if it's bothering you...I don't think that's hysterical), then said he had to shout because he wouldn't be heard over me constantly talking over him (I was sat there in silence). Needless to say I did then blow up and said you can't keep doing this every time you get frustrated at me. He said it is affecting his credit rating which is good, and that he isn't interested in getting credit, but then 10 minutes later is looking at getting an electric car on finance!!!! I am sick of this, I feel like I am living with Jeckle and Hyde.

I just feel absolutely pissed off today, and I keep worrying that I will get to the scan on the 23rd and they will tell me the baby is gone.

poppy I'm really sorry hope you are ok.

boy that's great news, really pleased. Also with measurements I heard they aren't hugely accurate before 12 weeks as the embryo is so small. 3 days is neither here nor there.

echo I know what you mean about paranoia, my scan is this Sat and I am convinced there will be no foetus, a dead foetus or a very sick one. I can't sleep at night through worrying about it.

It's awful, I think because I've had all this weird spotting it's made it worse! The midwife just brushed it off, and said not to worry that it's probably still implantation.... really that far along?! It's just making me feel ill with worry.

Hi Boy - what brilliant news! I lost a twin about 8 years ago - had so much bleeding I thought I couldn't possibly still be pregnant - but I was :))) Dc3 is now a very bouncy 7 year old - hope it works out for you too. I'd definitely keep the scan appointment.

Hi fairy thanks for posting about your experience - I used to be always very anti-abortion and then someone very close to me was suddenly in a situation where they had to make a decision - it made me see the whole thing with completely different eyes - and now I can only say 'there but for the grace of God go I'

Sorry to hear about your troubles Eco

My symptoms are vanishing too but I put some really elastic baggy trousers on today and they felt incredibly tight and uncomfortable - weird!

I know there are lots of skinny minis on here but anyone slightly bigger?! I am a 16/18 more 18 just now and looking for recommendations for mat wear

Thanks again everyone, am going to keep next weds scan seeing as nobody has suggested I'd be a crazy Scan Monopoliser to do so :p

Eco - how are you doing now? That sounds so stressful. DH has a lot of debt & it weighs more heavily on me than him - you must feel so stressed out about it, especially if your current partner would hold it against you to pay it off.

Can you try gently reminding him that stress for you is stress for the baby? Of course you're going to react even worse than normal at the moment and you don't really need this hanging over you - could he not perhaps lend you the money until you've had the baby then slowly pay it back to him instead afterwards if he really won't clear it from the kindness of his heart?

I know there's loads more going on in thread but I haven't had a chance to catch up yet but will later - just wanted to say that in my local new look there are maternity jeans with an inside leg of 34 and 36 inches for those of you that are tall

Eco hope ur ok

I am calmer now, I know it's because he hates debt and wants us to have a good future, but he needs to be more reasonable. I don't like being in debt either, and the debt management agency has been a bit of a joke, I have paid over £15k and not paid it all off yet, that's with interest frozen bit they take a share of it and are sometimes late paying the creditors, so I get charges....for £7k debt I thought it would be paid off by now, especially as they told me it would be by three years!!!

He wants us to put it on his credit card as it would be paid off faster, but I know if there was an argument it would be brought up again. We have a joint account and all the bills and all our money goes into that... I just don't want to feel like it will be used against me.

Eco could you possible change the management company? That sounds v unreasonable for you to pay charges when they mess up. I'm still paying off a £10k loan courtesy of my ex-h so I understand what it's like.

And thanks for saying that animol - I wouldn't wish that decision on anybody.

My jeans feel a tad tighter today but I'm blaming that on the fact that they're just washed

fairy my old maternity jeans feel a tad loosen the last few days. I'm attributing it to them being stretched

Told my mum today, well, she asked if I'd sorted my contraception so couldn't really lie. Soo glad I did its such a weight off my shoulders! Hated feeling like I was keeping something from her. She also encouraged me to keep it a secret for as long as poss, which is my plan, and she can sympathise with why I feel that way as she kept me a secret til she was 6months. She also told me she went through a similar scare just after I was born but wasn't pregnant, so knows it could happen to anyone. I feel so so relieved she knows!

As with abortions, its such a tough subject, I don't think anyone has the right to judge anyones decision, you can never know what people are going through at the time.
That being said I don't think I could ever do it.
But hugs to the ladies who have been through that, must be one of the hardest things to ever go through.