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Shagged Out Viroids 6th Thread! From Early Days to Ready To Pop - Proof that JSing really does work!

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WingDefence · 06/12/2012 17:24

Hello and welcome to another shiny fred for Just Shagging graduates!

The last fred was nice and busy so fingers crossed we get lots more members Grin

We've just moved over from the Shagged Out Viroids Volume 5 thread, where we finally found out that a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!
The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

Our stats thread is here, so if you find us, please add your stats too.

There is also a Just Mumming thread for grads of the grads thread Confused Grin

And if you want to find out what Just Shagging is about or catch up with the undergrads go say hello to the Just Shaggers here, now on the 12th thread Thanks

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Rockchick1984 · 07/02/2013 08:41

Kitten we turned down the combined screen test last time and will refuse again this time - our reasons were that it's not a definitive yes or no, so even if you're told low risk that doesn't mean no risk; we wouldn't have aborted either way so no need to spend the whole pregnancy worrying; and I had no risk factors for it anyway. Plus, if you decide to get an amniocentesis there's about 1% risk of miscarriage, I'd be devastated if I had one done, lost the baby and found out there was nothing wrong after all.

Good luck for your scans pineapple and hooya!

BelleEtLaBaby · 07/02/2013 08:59

Should we have a quick 'how many weeks' roll call? I can never keep up either. I'm 9+6 (is that all?? Hg makes you feel like you've been pregnant forever!)

Kitten: no opinions, but I can tell you my (somewhat dramatic) experience of combined screening last time, if you like?

There's backstory. I have pcos, and was not having cycles at all when we wanted to ttc ds1. Maybe one period a year, something like that. We saw a fertility specialist who basically put us on the road to ivf straight away. However, somehow I managed to fall pg on my only cycle that year (!) and got my bfp the day of my first fertility appointment.

I had been charting temps so I knew when I'd ovulated, and thus conceived. BUT for some reason the mw wouldn't listen to me - I knew I'd had a 45 day cycle, had ov'd around day 28-ish. But she used the dating wheel and put my dates down as what I knew we're over a week out. This meant my scan date was wrong. When I went for my first 12-wk scan (and nuchal) they were all like oh no, these dates are wrong Hmm. Come back in two weeks (?) and we'll re-do it. So I got scanned and triple tested at what I think was not within the window of accuracy for this type of testing. Also, no one would listen to me when I said my hormones were very out of kilter due to my pcos - it's quite severe and has an effect on lots of other things, notably I get hormonal migraines. I do think it contributes to my having HG as well.

So anyway, I go for this nuchal test at 13+1 by their dates and 14+6 by mine. The sonography is very quiet and keeps shushing me when I try to explain about the dates - so I let her get on with it. She is frowning a lot and goes and gets someone else. Lots of whispering in the corridor. Comes back in and I say look, I'm not stupid. What's wrong? Really bluntly she says the nuchal fold is 3.5mm. I say is that bad. She says - well a consultant is supposed to speak to you but I can't find one. It's not good news though. Can you come back tomorrow to speak to the consultant?

Well I am in shock, but I've done my reading and I say - but I'm way over dates. No you're not says she and points at my notes (with wrong dates on them). I try and explain again about the long cycles but she literally bundles me out of the room and the receptionist is equally rude. I went home and called the mw who says the nuchal isn't any good without bloods. They didn't draw my bloods. So I go to the gp and they draw my bloods there.

About this time I was getting really bad with the hg and a few days later I'm waiting for DH to come home so I can go to the hospital. Phone rings. Hello, it's the specialist midwife. Am I Belle? Is Mr Belle there? No? When he gets in can I come to the gp's surgery? I said, look, I'm about to go to hospital. I think this pregnancy is killing me. It's clearly not good news but I'm on my way to hospital so can't come to gp, please just tell me now over the phone. Reluctantly she does so: our screening results are 1:2.

Well, could this be wrong, if my dates were out? No, says midwife. Yes, says Internet research while waiting for DH. Hmm, thinks I.

We ended up going for amino. I am a very matter of fact person and I asked the specialist doing the amino had he ever seen a 1:2 result turn out ok and that he was to tell me the truth. No, says he, he hasn't.

Well, I'm the first, then. Ds is completely fine. Only AFTER we found this out did a consultant finally listen to me, agree with my dates, and agree that the lateness of the test might have skewed the results. It's only a risk factor screening, not diagnostic, and is subject to your opinion as to what you do with the results. DH and I knew we would terminate for downs or other trisomys, and we agreed, so to us the test was important. I'm having it again this time (although we all agree on dates this time) and would have amnio again if a high result. But if you don't think you would terminate, or wouldn't have amnio, in my opinion the combined test will just cause you to worry. I needed to know.

HOWEVER: Disclaimer after all that - I have a history of weird medical dramas, I am very prone to things being weird, and I have all these known hormonal problems. I am the only person I know who has ever, ever had even a sniff of a high result, and certainly don't want to imply that the test is flawed. Most of my friends have had low risk factors and have been fine, and had nice scan experienced. I think I got a bit of a cow on scan day and my dates were clearly out (DS arrived on the due date I'd given the mw - boy was I smug) :)

BelleEtLaBaby · 07/02/2013 09:00

Phew what an essay! Sorry! Didn't realise I'd poured all that out until I actually pressed post!!

WingDefence · 07/02/2013 10:17

Oh my goodness Belle Shock You should DEFINITELY complain about your treatment. Stupid bloomin people

Kitten - yes, thank you! I called one of the ante natal team as I didn't know where to start and apparently I should have asked for it at 20+4 but did anyone tell me this... Hmm Angry It's not like I remember what happened with DS 4.5 years ago - and I'm sure I was just given it at one of the appts then.

So apparently I can get it from my GP so I've just called my GP and the part-time MW is actually working today so they took my number and she will call me back. If it's the one who is meant to call me about HBs I'll have a word with her at the same time as it's been nearly a week since the lady at last week's ANC took my number and said she'd get the MW to call me.

I really am getting cross with all this. I know they leave you relatively alone in a 2nd+ pregnancy but I don't think that's menat to mean I should be running/directing my own care. Just because I'm carrying a baby doesn't mean I know how the damn system's meant to work? Argh!

Right, Kitten re: screening. Although like Rock we wouldn't abort (unless it was extremely awful circumstances), I had the full screening as I would want to know if I was expecting eg. a child with Down's. A good friend of mine had a lovely boy with Down's two years ago and she didn't know in advance and it was a huge shock for her and her DH. She's fine now, of course, and he is lovely but personally I would want to be able to access all the support and advice in advance from local & national groups, what to expect etc.

But that's just me! :)

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Kittenkatzen · 07/02/2013 10:35

belle good grief, what a drama you had - that's awful that they just wouldn't listen to you, and on all of those separate occasions too!

Thank you for the views girls - rockchick our thinking for turning it down is along the same lines as yours...the screening can only ever say "maybe", not "definitely". Although wing I share your reservations and the desire to want to feel prepared for any eventuality. However, we have already agreed that we wouldn't abort, and we also wouldn't go for CVS/amnio due to mc risk, so being told "maybe" would probably just give me us another thing to worry about. Gah. Will ponder some more.

belle for your stats list I'm 9+0 :)

MrsBri · 07/02/2013 11:24

Goodness, Belle, that is a drama!

We declined screening also as we wouldn't act on it. I'm higher risk anyway as I'm old (in child bearing terms!), but we've accepted this.

Each to their own, ultimately. :-)

StuckOnARollercoaster · 07/02/2013 11:37

hello all hope you are all doing well...
Just a quick one to mark my place, has taken a while to catch up on everyone's news...

I ended up with just the quad blood test, but we would have gone for the full screening but baby wasn't cooperative! I used to think I wouldn't want the screening because I would never abort a child, but when it came closer to the time I had a good long hard think about life with a disabled child, not just now but forever and after chatting to DP we decided to take all the information that we could and then work out next steps. (Especially as I'm an older mum at 37 so very paranoid that I have left it too late and have put myself in a higher risk category) All the diagnostics have come back ok, which have really made me feel better even though I'm very aware that they are not failsafe.

Hooya · 07/02/2013 12:22

Hello everyone - wow, it's all go around here! Mammoth catch-up ahead:

something good luck with getting labour moving! Nice that we can reprise the term 'shagging like something' here on the grads thread!

waves so sorry you're back in hospital, hoping the time passes quickly and you are out the other side of HG soon Sad

Belle I would be RAGING at that treatment! Ooh I got all angry just reading about it!

Wing also angry on your behalf that they're not giving you any info! I would get all complainy on their asses!

Kitten I didn't realise how close our dates were - I'm 8+2, just a few behind you, how are you feeling?

Stuck nice to see you again!

MrsBri congrats on the scan! And Pineapple good luck with yours!

Guinea and Dysgu hope you are not working too hard!

Tired I am still immensely jealous of you snuggling sleeping baby!

and Rock congrats again!!

Sorry to any I missed - there's loads of us! Will post then update on my scan!

Hooya · 07/02/2013 12:30

So I had my scan today at 8+2 and it was amazing! Super strong heartbeat and we could see little tiny arms and legs and everything! It actually looked a bit like a baby and we saw it move which was magic Grin It measures exactly right for dates which is good too.

DP had a proper wee cry and I welled up, and the obstetrician was absolutely lovely.

Then to cap it all off, I told my boss and he was brilliant, and doesn't think I'll be sent home (I'm currently on assignment, but don't really want to move back to the UK yet)!

Sorry to be so overexcited but now that the mc risk is down pretty low I feel I can try to enjoy it a bit more when not vomming or retching that is Smile

somethingwittynot · 07/02/2013 13:41

yay for good scans! at my last scan we couldnt really see anything apart from feet and ears! baby was back out and head was curled well down into the pelvis.

for stats im 37+2 no signs of anything happening AT ALL

Rockchick1984 · 07/02/2013 13:41

Congratulations Hooya!!! Thanks

WingDefence · 07/02/2013 13:45

Oh that's fab Hooya! Grin

something, that's rubbish! Have a curry?!

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Kittenkatzen · 07/02/2013 13:50

Woohoo for your positive scan news hooya :o

Yep, you me and belle are all pretty close on dates! I'm feeling pretty good actually worryingly so in fact, but I'm not allowed to say that or dh tells me off!. My symptoms so far consist of constant extreme hunger (which turns mildly sicky if I don't eat), exhaustion, and moodiness. My belly is starting to feel bigger now but I'm sure that's probably 90% excess food and only 10% baby! How are you getting on? It sounds like you're getting a lovely level of care where you are :)

tiredteddy · 07/02/2013 14:07

Great news hooya so pleaded for you x

somethingwittynot · 07/02/2013 17:28

am installed in the all you can eat indian theu serve phal here...

ICompletelyKnowAboutGuineaPigs · 07/02/2013 17:44

Congrats on the great scan Hooya and brill that you can stay out on assignment.

Kitten I spent the first few weeks convinced that this baby was going to end up being a blighted ovum - could barely sleep at times. Completely unfounded of course as the fidgeting monkey kicking me would indicate! I have turned down the combined screening in all three pregnancies as it would make no difference to our decisions to continue with a pregnancy. My bestfriend has a DS (2.5yo) with Down's Syndrome and of all her 4 children she had the lowest 'risk' with him. It was a complete surprise and she sepnt a few days in shock. BUT she said the realities of having a child with Down's Syndrome is much better than she would have imagined throughout her pregnancy. She said that she prefers the fact that she had a few shocked days when DS arrived rather than a miserable pregnancy where she was worried the entire time. But I think it depends on what you think will work for you - I know lots of people feel they would like to know.

Incidentally (and apologies if those of you who have been on the thread for a while have heard this before) I did my masters research on the women's attitudes to risk in prenatal screening for Down's Syndrome. Most of the women gave very little thought to:

  1. What risk ratio they would feel 'comfortable' with and this consequently led a number of people to panic when they received their results, especially if they weren't considered 'high-risk' enough to automatically be offered testing;
  1. What they would do if they were considered 'high risk'. Diagnostic testing does carry risk and a number of people felt the decision to get diagnostic testing extremely an extremely difficult one to make.
  1. Hadn't given much thought to the pathway they would have taken had they got a positive diagnostic test and again this caused anxiety.

Anyhow... my point in all that is that it sounds like you're considering these things and that's good. But point 1 might be something worth thinking about - what risk ratio would allow you to feel 'comfortable'?

Sorry for the epic post, just wanted to add my thoughts on the matter though I bet you wish you'd never asked now!

Hopefully you've spoken to the MW now Wing about MATB1 and HB. Can't believe they're being so slack. I've been really impressed with my PCT so far - they're really trying to encourage women, especially low-risk first timers, to consider HB as it is considered as safe if not safer.

Something have you thought about delaying the ELCS if you really want a VBAC? Might take the pressure off, which might actually allow you to go in to labour!

I have a MW appt tomorrow which I'm looking forward to.

Had a great day of teaching today and it's not often I can say that. Two of my students came to tell me that they love my seminars because I am so good at making complex social theory understandable and they felt really excited about going in to their final year because of how much they'd got from their seminars. I felt really chuffed. Plus I was a teaching a subject that I love teaching - even though I don't actually agree with the theory!

Grey's Anatomy tonight (recorded from last night). I missed last weeks Sad but should be fairly easy to catch up on what happened.

My epic fail of a conversation, however, involved a Pampered Chef customer. Long story short - I asked how her baby was (I was convinced she was pregnant at the show I met her at). It wasn't her. It's a good job I was on the phone to her because I was so Blush - she still wants a show though so not too bad I suppose! [mortified emoticon]

MrsBri · 07/02/2013 17:59

Yay, Hooya...a strong heartbeat is fantastic :-) When do you get your next scan?

Something, I think a phall may be the way forward! Or it could be hell on earth! Worth the risk, maybe?!

Guinea, that's really interesting about what risk you'd be happy with. And shows how the tests can only be used as a guideline. I doubt I'll have the test when / if we have another either, and I'll probably be at least 38 by then.

WingDefence · 07/02/2013 18:13

V quickly - enjoy that curry something!

We've got the delivery suite visit tonight so will be heading out in about an hour.

A MW called me back but it was the one I saw at 28wks so just said 'talk to the other MW at your 34wk appt and she'll give it to you Hmm

I may try to corner someone at the hospital tonight but I bet they fob me off with "you need to speak to a community MW"...

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MrsBri · 07/02/2013 18:16

That's rubbish. You're meant to give it to work before then, aren't you?!

I didn't even have to ask for mine as my midwife had her pad of forms out before I'd even thought about it!

Whip them into shape. :-)

Kittenkatzen · 07/02/2013 18:54

ouch something I can feel the burn from here! Grin

wing that's totally crap of them definitely give them a boot up the arse, not good enough.

Thanks guinea I think those are some really interesting points. My gut reaction is to say that being told any odds is bound to make me worry - someone's always got to be the "one" haven't they. Low risk is still some risk - and truth be told, there is always some risk.

Thank you all for your options and thoughts, I think looking at it objectively its a case of what would we do with the information in either case - the answer is nothing in both cases, and I'm inclined to think that like guinea's friend I'd rather have a few days of shock than 6 months of uncertainty and worry. Thanks all, you're all fab Smile

somethingwittynot · 07/02/2013 19:47

well irregular contractions and babys going mad. curry was well recieved.

elcs is as delayed as can be as im in so much pain its just keeping me sane knowing i have a definate end date

Dysgu · 07/02/2013 23:59

It is really interesting to read the different systems there are regarding MWs. Mine is really lovely although she has had to 'grow' on DP over the 7 years we have known her! I think after having her own child her 'edges' sort of smoothed out! I actually see either her or another MW attached to the health clinic and the other one is nice too. They are always organised and have the right pads for MATB1 and the exemption form too (I lost my card but they got me a replacement straight away even though I have never had to use it yet).

I have an appointment with the diabetes clinic tomorrow - I am working from home to get assessments marked and reports written as it is getting so close to the start of my ML so I was really looking forward to picking my DDs up from school but the only appointment that they had at the clinic that I can make is at 2pm so I won't be able to do the school run. When I got off the phone I actually cried Blush but DDs say it is fine and I can just collect them from CM as usual of course.

Then today has been very stressful at work - every day is tough right now as we have new senior management but I tend not to get involved most of the time. But today was extra tough and, to top it all off, I cannot recall feeling the bump move all day. It has been very quiet all evening when usually it is bouncing around. I am in agony and have terrible pains low down on my tummy/in my pelvic region and can hardly walk (much worse than my usual SPD stuff).

I have just had a big glass of iced water and am hoping it wakes the baby up.

DD1 went very quiet in the days running up to her early arrival so I am hoping it is not that as I am only 29+1.

somethingwittynot · 08/02/2013 08:14

well last night i had curry picked everything that had three chillis on the label, did some walking and got DP to have an ahem fiddle. this morning i lost a big chunk of plug haha.

WingDefence · 08/02/2013 08:30

Keep us posted something!

Dysgu have you felt MiniDysgu now? I have got so used to MiniWing kicking like mad when I wake up in the morning then when I can't feel her I get a bit panicking too. But I think she's shifting a bit now, just subtly.

I'm am Envy at your continuity of MW care! The tour was quite good last night which has put my mind at ease about going into hospital but I told DH on the way back that I still really like the idea of a HB. The tour was carried out by the two 'parentcraft' MWs, one of whom is the lady I've spoke to a couple of times to get the HB info sheet sent out to me. But I didn't get a chance to talk to her afterwards as we left the delivery suite, went down in the lift and were by the front doors so we stood there with a couple of the other parents-to-be and just went 'oh is that it?'! And came home. Hmm

I had a quick chat with my BF trainee MW last night and told her if I wasn't that bothered about potentially having a HB I'd definitely have given up on the idea by now. She is Angry in my behalf and has sent me links to MW national codes of conduct etc and said now I have ammunition they won't be expecting!

But I shouldn't have to start shouting the odds, should I? I mean, I don't want to be seen as a trouble maker and if I go to all this trouble just to get the choice of having a HB, what if I don't end up having one because I change my mind or something? Then they'll just think I was being daft :(

Argh - why couldn't someone just have got back in touch with me 2-3 weeks ago when I first asked???

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WingDefence · 08/02/2013 08:31

Oh and Dysgu I hope the diabetes clinic goes okay today and work isn't too bad next week x

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