November 2012 - babies arriving thick and fast

[StuntNun]

Previous ante-natal thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1589461-November-2012-lots-of-babies-that-cant-wait-for-November

Post-natal thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1579907-November-2012-babies-are-here-at-last

Wow this has been a busy thread today! I have read it all but no clue really who said what except that I need to wish VQ good luck for tomorrow!

I'm counting down the days til my daycare and clinic appointment next week in the hope I get a date for induction. Only time will tell I guess.

DH got some bin bags down from loft so I have a load of neutrals in 0-3 months sizes in the washing machine just now. I cannot believe my daughter ever fit into them! She is messing around tonight, was put to bed at 8pm and DH has been up numerous times as she's just being a pain really!

MIL is coming down in the morning to take DD to nursery for me to save me having to leave the house as I'm so bad just now. She will collect her and bring her home around tea time.

Lovely blog post jenbird. As a first timer everything is such a massive learning curve. It is great to have reassurance that all the worrying is normal.

detective no I wasn't induced with him

I've no idea what I will do - as I was 40+13 with DS, spontaneous labour, but this time I'm with a new partner. So I'm on tenterhooks now haha!

I reckon i'll be 40+, I'm going with 6th-9th Nov! That is if I don't get my way with this sunday!

DH hope you like the buggy! Have you not put DS in it for a test run?!

Miserable me me me post, feel free to ignore...

I'm having a real wobble tonight. DH came home about half an hour ago and all I've done is shout at him. He's completely unaware that he was in the wrong being away sailing for three nights (it was only ever meant to be 1) with no way for me to contact him. I'm so angry that he's the one thinking I'm being unreasonable. I know if he was behaving like this and I wasn't pregnant I'd seriously be considering our relationship. I don't want to end up in a position like my mum did with my dad where she stayed in an unhappy marriage with a selfish man for 10+ years because she didn't want to break our family up. Our relationship is by no means unhappy, I'm just questioning whether I can be the 'perfect' wife. And whether or not I can cope with his behaviour if this isn't just a 'phase'. I have no support from his family - they've only acknowledged I even exist since I got pregnant, and even now I'm just DH's 'midlife crisis'. So now I'm hiding in my admittably very tidy office crying and venting on here (you must all be sick of me). Crying because I think I'm being a crap partner. And because being a crap partner will make me a crap mum. And because I have no idea how to be a parent. And because I've put my career on hold and have no hope of being able to do my postgrad because he's too selfish and I'm too dependant on him. And.... just everything.

Woe is me. Please ignore me. I'm not on a sympathy-seeking trip, I just needed to vent.

I'm aiming for this Sunday too detective No particular reason, just seems like a good day!

God I'm such a loser. We're watjimg Twilight and I keep quoting lines before they say them. [hgrin]

Sorry MM cross posted.
You are not being a crap partner, and you are not being unreasonable about this. I wouldn't be impressed if DP buggered off for 3 days with no discussion if I wasn't pregnant, but doing it at this stage AND with no way of contacting him is really not on. Plenty on this thread have had their babies come early - what if you'd been one of them?

Vent away dear. He is being selfish, yes. Whether he will continue to act in the same way remains to be seen.

I suspect when the baby arrives that he may well grow up a little. A lot of men do. Some men never do, true. But I don't get the impression that he can't/won't change. I just think he doesn't see why he has to now.

You aren't a crap partner, and certainly not a crap mum. And even if you were a crap partner, it doesn't make you a crap mum by default you know!!

I dare not tell you how I'd behave if I were you. One, I don't want to give you any ideas, and two, I don't want anyone else to know to unhinged I could be!

Personally, I think he needs a reality check.

Mm I think you need to either have a lovely night away together or you need to go to your parents for a few days.

You've spent three days stewing over this and got yourself in a state over it.

Yes he has been unreasonable and behaved like an immature idiot however, nothing happened. You were safe, he's got home safely and the baby is ok. Shouting at him will make no difference. Ignoring him might. Certainly not entertaining his parents, however that is likely to make that relationship more strained.

If you werent pregnant, he wouldnt be acting like this. But he would eventually if you get me because you would have a family and he will panic?! That's his personality.

Your education can continue, you will not always be reliant on him, all of this will pale into nothing when the baby is here.

Hugs and cry lots!!!! Rant on here.

I can't stop bloody drinking!!!!!

Im so so do thirsty!! What's wrong with me??!!

MM don't apologise for what are completely appropriate and reasonable fears and concerns.

Being part of a couple is about compromise and trust. Of late your DH has shown no willingness to compromise and given you little reason to trust him. I know we only hear your side of the story and noone is ever perfect but from what I can gather you are the one making all the alterations to your life and he seems unwilling to change at all.

I really hope I don't sound preechy - you are entitled just to come on here and have a good rant - but I do worry actually. You are constantly apologising for your behaviour and your worry is that you can't be a 'perfect wife'. Perfect in whose eyes? Is your husband being a 'perfect husband'?

Noone knows how to be a parent - all of us will just be making it up as we go along. In the end the best you can offer your baby is love and you will have that in spades.

horsey and detective put it much better than me MM. And the can clearly type faster!

horsey I spent all day yesterday drinking and weeing.

Me too horsey I'm up constantly in the night to either drink or wee - makes the drinking seem a little counter-productive but I can't help it!

I know, I'm trying not to drink so I dont have to wee so much!!!!

Urine was clear so Im not worried about anything really but it's really odd?!

And mm I agree with pass - stop saying sorry and define perfect?! I'm far from it!! But I couldn't define it. I just muddle on through!!

Good luck VQ! Will think of you tomorrow. You gave me a little lump in my throatie there with what you said.

MM poor you. I really think he'll come through when the baby's here. It's such a strange time, this waiting. Maybe he'd rather take his mind off it than think about the future and all the changes it will bring. Which of course is incredibly selfish and doesn't help you at all, but I think he'll be fine when it all happens. And you'll amaze yourself once the baby is born - your mum 'persona' will emerge and you'll have bags more patience, love and energy for your little one than you thought possible.

Jaylee - so sorry about this awkward situation. Sounds like you have a plan but it wasn't fair for his folks to put you all in this position and in essence set you against each other again.

Feeling for all those who are having cr*p times. This waiting is a nightmare isn't it. In a way it'd be nice to go to sleep until labour started (although I can't do that because I still have to pack my bag!!).

Wishing everyone a good night's sleep. [hsmile]

I have to go to bed, before I fall asleep stood up. Exhausted and stuffed with food... please let it be a good combination (and a promise from DP to do the school run!) Gimme 12 hours baby, please!!!

Last night I felt like just throwing all the water straight into the loo. Might have got some sleep then

Thanks for that link jenbird, it was a good read. I know I'll be fine! I'm just getting to end-stage dilemma of wanting the pregnancy finished and finally meeting the new love of my life and the old rabbit in headlights! I can't decide if I can't or can wait for the birth!

VQ hope all goes swimmingly tomoz .

MM what the others said. Also, what would you advise us if we were venting something similar? Sometimes it helps to try and jump outside the situation.

Horsey I now blame you for the sudden of thirst. I wonder how many wee trips are in the cards tonight? I'd rather not be thirsty though!

Yep, will be thinking of you tomorrow vq xx

MM I don't really like playing devil's advocate and I do think your DH has been a twunt over this whole sailing trip BUT is it possible he doesn't really understand that the baby could arrive at any time now? I only ask because my DH has just left for a funeral in Scotland and will be away for three nights. Before he left he casually asked what I would do if I went into labour while he was away. I said quite matter of factly that I would leave the boys with the next door neighbour and go to hospital by myself. He seemed really shocked and now I think he genuinely thought I was going to say, the baby won't come while you're away as he's not due for another two weeks. Your DH may be in denial and/or not understand the seriousness of him being unreachable. He'a still a twunt though.

Once again, good luck VQ for TODAY. We'll be thinking of you.

All the best vq and unMN hugs for jaylee and MM - this is exactly the time that you don't need to be feeling vulnerable and unsupported.

I know that I am missing my family heaps, and really scared sometimes of how hard it might be after the baby comes. My mum is flying out for a couple of weeks and arrives on the 20th, so almost 3 wks after EDD, and I'm looking forward to that. Not sure what MIL and FIL will be like, they are a bit [hhmm] at the moment and DH won't ask them what's going on. But other than that, I feel pretty supported and I know I'm really lucky.

jaylee89 oh my goodness you poor thing. There are a few stressful things in this life and the major ones are moving house and having a baby, and of course splitting up with a partner as well. For you to have to contend with more than one at once just does not seem fair at all. I feel for you. ((hugs)). Will there be strings attached to the house if your in-laws own it? That would stress me out!

madamgazelle how lovely of your aunt to give you a sofa! I would love that! Especially a leather one, brilliant because you can wipe it down when bubs pukes/wees on it!! :)

vq all the best for your c-section. We will all be eager to hear how you get on, but rest up and enjoy your snuggles while you are in hospital.

lane81 babies arrive when they are ready and it?s hard being told you will probably go over! Sometimes I wish people would not dish out advice (ass-vice is what I call it!)or predict things that no one can predict!

Arf at fanny daggers, the things I have learnt on this thread!! :)

I had a Strep B swab done at my last midwife appointment, they are offered to everyone over here. You do a swap (up your fanjo) and they test for strep b, I don?t think they offer it in the UK, but o remember many threads ago some of you guys were keen to get it done, just thought I?d mention it in case it reminded anyone :)

peaky1 I?m like you, I get a reality check when I hear someone else I facing a big stressful time and I am crying over spilt milk or something similar (mm1 your list did make me chuckle).

mm1 If my dad was a half our drive away I would be on the phone to him to help out with loads of things! I such a daddy?s girl :) Also do not keep blaming yourself for you dh being a dickhead. Of course you are shouting at him!

I have just put a few more bits in my hospital bag ? I got a bag organiser off ebay and put that in, it has compartments and has made it a bit easier to cram things in! jogging bottoms and a top packed! Yey. Thanks girls for helping me sort it out :)

wellies are your PIL's aussie or in the UK? I have got mum and dad coming out on the 15th of nov, PIL's have never come out, even though DD is 18 months old now. Their loss!!