Due dec 2012 - the long slow bit

[StaceymReadyForNumber3]

Hi thought if do this and try and link before we ran out!!!

stacey your MIL sounds like MILFH

Who on earth does she think she is to make such personal interfering comments about your finances? Utterly objectionable & really I feel very on your behalf.

One of things that convinced us to get on with having a baby is that there is never a day when the inconvenience, lifestyle change and expense are all fine. You have to just suck it up!
Obviously it's easier if you have piles of cash, just because you can pay for help. I'd be the first to get extra pairs of hands in! But about 99.9% of the worlds children have been brought up without that .

And most of us, including the well off, appreciate abit of money in an envelope at birthday time, if parents can afford it!
She sounds dreadful, poor you.

emily hope your heartburn gets rectified soon. A friend went to GP about it once, convinced she was dying. It's so flipping painful. Sure you know this but don't drink milk, it's acidic not alkaline, so makes things worse.

clarella sounds like your class will be telling the teacher what to do! Lucky u to have those experts & really interesting to hear about epidurals. I've heard of one case (a friend this weekend) if the headache thing bit that was because epidural done in wrong place. Certainly hasnt put me off tho as so many friends said it was a life saver.

Oh & yes am terrified. Not to panic everyone but only a few weeks til the Christmas puddings are cooked (i.e 36 weeks)

queen I drank milk at about half 4 5ish! Didn't know that, no wonder I thought I was dying

Thanks for the sympathy guys. I'm glad it's not me over reacting. Just feeling really hurt and tearful about it and don't know how to bring it up with DH. Hate the fact one of my babies gp basically doesn't want her first grandchild to be born! :(

Oh heartburn it sucks majorly but I don't think I get it as bad as some thankfully. I do feel like I'm eating rennies as sweeties around 1am.

As for spd I'd go to another doctor, that sounds like an absolutely rubbish decision!

Sorry I've forgotten who these sentences are for dcs are on a wind up this morning!

No you're not over reacting at all stacey I would be exactly the same. So mean, how dare they!

Just Had some leakage on my top didn't think I would have to get the breast pads out just yet!

Poor Stacey! My parents are the same, they will give me what they think I should have/need not what I actually want/need.

Emily - heartburn is evil. All day every day and nothing at all helps :-( I actually sleep totally upright now to attempt to combat it!

So can I ask. After row last night i really feel that XP needs some help dealing with his temper, guilt and his general way of dealing with things (ie not walking away, ignoring or burying his head in the sand) because we seem to be going in the same circles.
When he left he wrote 2 a4 pages of behaviours he thought I displayed and that I needed serious help. So I took it on the chin and went to cbt, counselling and a psychiatric nurse and I found it so helpful but a lot of what they identified was how he had destroyed my self confidence and made me believe everything he says about me.

Anyway is it totally unreasonable of me to suggest that he actually needs some help too?! He seems to get so angry when I suggest it but yet I've done it because he said it would help our DD!

Hope everyone is feeling ok today, at least it's Friday! Sorry to those with SPD or MIL problems. I've got 28 week midwife appointment and flu jab this afternoon. Will be asking about whooping cough one too.

Started NCT this week, really lovely group, everyone was so friendly. The teacher was good too, although we didn't do much I didn't already know. Next week is birth positions so I think the practical stuff will make it worthwhile. Best bit is meeting other pregnant people though as our friends are all quite far away.

Hoping to choose paint for the nursery this weekend, although it will be end October before we have a free weekend to paint it. I feel like time is running out.... but at least less than 7 weeks till mat leave starts :-)

Happy Friday everyone! Sounds like the weekend is arriving just in time for everyone. We had a nice night last night - went to Mamas & Papas to spend our voucher, so we got the sling :) We went for the Baby Bjorn Active one. Whilst we were waiting to try it on, another woman came up to us and told us that she had the same one and absolutely adored it - she said that the lower back support on it was an absolute lifesaver as her wee boy is pretty big. She was really nice and it was lovely of her to tell us. I think I've uploaded a pic of it (just in the box), along with hat and mitts that my Mum has knit for Shnarf and the fluffy suit (look at the little ears on it!) that my DH bought as a surprise :)

Queen Thank you for the tip about milk - I really didn't know that and have tried milk to help heartburn in the past!

Stacey I would be really annoyed about that too! I'm sure she didn't mean it personally at the baby though...probably just typical MIL criticism and not engaging brain before opening mouth! Hope you're okay though. It would make me tearful too.

Flumpy, i honestly think you need to completely disengage from your cuntbadger ex. He seems to be draining the life from you, and you deserve better. Concentrate on detaching emotionally - your therapist will be able to help with this, sounds like they're already heading that way albeit less bluntly than me - and only communicate on child related matters.

I've got a friend coming on Monday to take up my hall flooring (2 layers of lino, 20 and 40 years old) but i may have already done a big chunk myself ah well, he can help me take up the carpets and carry stuff to the tip...

Flumpy I agree with Pidj, I think you probably have to limit contact with ex to just baby related things as the situation is not very good for your stress levels or your self esteem. This is a time to be selfish and to focus just on yourself and your baby.

And when we say baby-related things, that means only:

When he's allowed to see the baby and how long for
How much he will pay for the baby

All other decisions will be made by you, and he will abide by those decisions or lose contact. I suggest that all contact is done in writing so he can't twist your words or claim to have "misunderstood"

Hope you're okay Flumpy, it must be a really difficult time to try and deal with all this extra emotion when (like the rest of us) you're already a big stew pot of hormones.

+ +

well said pidj - I agree, Flumpy, and I hope you are doing okay. The last thing you need is extra stress right now. Surround yourself with positive supportive people if you can

I also think his mental health is no longer your issue flumpy and echo only dealing with him on child related matters and even keeping that short and sweet. It must be so hard right now with a the emotion of it but he really isn't your problem any more. All this said with only your interest at hart

stacey sounds so awful of your mil to say that, as long as you can love the baby it doesn't matter. I'd just tell DP straight that his mum has really hurt your feelings, it's out of line and she needs to keep her opinions to herself.
I'm getting to the panicky stage too about how ill cope once he's here and DP is back at work, and how ill cope with all the people who want to come visiting when I hate too many visitors. We found out DPs company is shutting down for 3 weeks over Christmas so were hoping baby will come fairly on time so we can have all that time together, of course if he comes really late we'll still only get a week but I'm sending positive vibes for a due date baby!
flumpy Pidj has some good advice, you don't need him around when he's causing you so much stress and worry. He chose to leave, he can't now have it both ways of not being around and still interfering in your life and making you feel crap.

I know that you are all right but I just feel so guilty to be that way with him, it's not me at all.

Since he left I've never blamed him or shouted or got angry I have just accepted things and got on with it the best I can. I've asked for help at times and he's either said yes or no.

We had such a good few weeks and I'm gutted it has turned to this again :-( I just feel that it shouldn't have to be this way. We've talked names and been shopping and he's helped looking for houses for us etc.
It would just be so much easier if we could sit and talk about things rationally but he just gets angry.

I'm just so worn down from it all

Flumpy I must say that nothing would make me more likely to exhibit certain behaviours than if someone wrote a big list of them when I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy. I'm quite cross on your behalf. Honestly, what is to be gained from it apart from making you feel worse? I agree wholeheartedly with the others who have talked about disengaging and focusing on the key baby essential discussions at present. It must be really stressful to have to deal with all this. The pattern of some really pod days coupled with some difficult days does sound to me to be classic manipulative behaviour on his part - making you feel that things are wonderful so that when things aren't wonderful you feel like it's your fault. For what it's worth I think it sounds like you're doing brilliantly in difficult circumstances - have faith in yourself.

My heartburn (which was pretty minor to begin with but I feel I'm due a break in this pregnancy!) has stopped. I'm wondering if the baby has started to engage already (am 30+1) as I've felt movement all very low down rather than up anywhere hear my ribs.

I can't remember who has SPD - is it barbeasy? - but definitely don't just grin and bear it. I've got a physio referral in a couple of weeks, and got a belt and crutches (although both have been a bit useless for me tbh as the bigger problem has been around my back, plus the baby goes nuts when I put the belt on) so although it wont go away till after birth there are things that can be done to give you some relief. I was fobbed off by the community midwife who said it was from me sitting with my legs apart at my desk (which I never do!) but my GP was much more helpful. I found the same thing when i went in because I couldn't eat for days for
constant nausea; the midwife offered me a leaflet for healthy eating, whereas the GP prescribed me avomine which made a huge difference.

second should we not sit with our legs apart? I can't sit any other way I've got the lovely feeling of a bowling ball between my legs, can't believe that I'm so uncomfy so early!

Happy weekend all. 35 working days left.
Cannot wait. This weekend is painting and wallpapering and furniture building. Hoo and ray!

Went to antenatal relaxation class at the therapy unit at the hospital yesterday. Was brill.

Great news pidj!

Stacey, MIL from hell! I really hope she doesn't mean it.

Flump hope you get it sorted.

stacey she told me to keep my legs / ankles together (cue joke about how it's a bit late for that) and to move like a mermaid rather than separating them at the hip. It wasn't great advice as so much seems for me to depend on what is comfortable on that particular day.

Stacey I also have the bowling-ball-between-legs feeling. Am sure he's engaged in my pelvis already.

Yes it was me. I'm not going to be fobbed off, but I'll go through the nurse or midwife rather than the GP.

But ladies, please all be careful. We've just had the second total bastard driving into one of us incident on the thread, and these things go in 3s.

Sitting at some traffic lights and stupid old woman just reversd hard into me.
She admitted liability at the scene, but again we need her to admit it formally.

But on the bright side DD is starting to understand that she can't take her arms out of the car seat straps just because she can't see a car!

secondsop I fear I'm more walrus than mermaid at present....

Barbeasty wtf was the stupid cow thinking?! Hope dd's ok, and you're not too shaken up?

Barbeasty Cross post! Hope you are okay & not hurt at all?

Oh barbeasty I hope you are ok!! Good lesson for your dd though, every cloud and all that.