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March 2013 VI: cooking, crocheting and chit-chat

958 replies

theTramp · 25/09/2012 18:00

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1558560-March-2013-Mk-V-Lumpy-bumpy-witty-knitters-patiently-await-the-bloom?msgid=34370452#34370452

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
zoeymlucas · 04/10/2012 20:27

Ahhhh I really can't take this anymore have been to doctors 3 times and still feel like total rubbish, come home today and when to lay down and was promptly sick all over my bed am now laid freezing and can't get warm and head is throbbing! DH is moaning I haven't had dinner again but I just can't face it Sad

ThreeForTea · 04/10/2012 20:57

zoey thats rubbish :( :( did docs say anything useful?

Rainbowbabyhope · 04/10/2012 21:26

I had my private scan and it was wonderfully reassuring - the sonographer took careful measurements and LO's growth is still perfectly on track and has grown exactly the right number of days since the last scan. I am now so angry at the dismissive way the NHS sonographer treated us today and the totally unnecessary stress she put us under just because she was in a rush and didn't do her job properly - from the single inaccurate measurement she took it made it look like the baby hadn't grown at all and she didn't bother to re-check! Because of my history, I am very careful not too come across as too neurotic at my appointments and try let people do their job but I think in future I am going to start being more demanding and check and recheck everything!

Ethel I am from the York area so Leeds, York and Harrogate are all possibilities - I have heard good things about Harrogate from my independent midwives but opinions from those with first hand experience are very useful. Really need to have a think because even though I think I will aim at a homebirth or at least labouring for as long as I can at home, I do need to have a back-up hospital chosen. York is most convenient but unfortunately I have terrible memories from the last time and associate the staff there with bad things so I am always incredibly stressed out when I have to go back there - not ideal for labour.

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 04/10/2012 21:29

Oh no Zoey that sounds rubbish. Hope you and all the others who are feeling rubbish feel better soon.

Names wise, last time DH and I just never had a serious chat about names until I was in mat leave I think. In the end I got so sick of nagging him, to no avail, that I made him write down a list of his top 10 names and rhen give them all a score. I did the sane and then by a process of elimination, we got down to about 4 and it was just a case of trying different orders to see what worked. So DD is Anna. We had Perdita as a main contender last time, but chickened out in the end. I like Natalie actually, but haven't even mentioned it yet to DH!

For a boy we like Alexander, but not sure if it's ultimately what we'll end up going with.
Ooh decisions decisions!

I have a great book on names, think it's the penguin guide to names, or penguin dictionary of names. Is pretty comprehensive.

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 04/10/2012 21:41

rainbow my friend chose Hharrogate for both DC and several of her friends have also done same, so worth looking into. Glad you got a more positive result, I think that sometimes the healthcare professionals forget that the person they are dealing with is a human being with feelings and anxieties and hopes!
We have been discussing the possibility of a york meet up as so many of us there, so hope you might come along. X

Em2010 · 04/10/2012 21:50

ethel I love Anna and also Annabel.

rainbow I have also heard good things about Harrogate and also the friarige (sp?) at Northallerton has a very good reputation if that is any good to you? Sadly the Jubilee Centre at Cottingham where I tried to have ds has now closed....

zoey so sorry to hear you are feeling so rough.

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 04/10/2012 22:03

Ah yeah, Northallerton, I should have suggested there, it's where I work (the town not thr hosp!) 40min drive from york.

StealthToddler · 04/10/2012 22:23

rainbow I have first hand experience of Harrogate hospital but only that I was born there so not much help really Grin

ThreeForTea · 04/10/2012 22:54

stealth didn't do you any harm! :)

mandasand · 04/10/2012 22:57

Pink would def recommend the skater dress! I haven't compared measurements, but another thing to say is that it's knee length on me, but much short in the pic. (I am only 5 foot 4 tho!) Yay for settling on a name! I'm encouraged by your love of Betsy - maybe will persevere with it and DH for a bit!

Lexi, yes, Tilly or Tilda are great, I agree! And of course the Dahl connection is just fab Smile Ood we must have similar taste in names, then!

Em what about Bertie? A bit like Freddie and Archie, but a bit different?

Zoey, again, what a cute DH!! Mine just blows raspberries, which I am sure must make them jump!

Em glad you're little wriggler is reassuring you!

And glad your scan put your concerns to bed, Rainbow.

Zoey poor thing!!!

Ethel thanks, Penguin should be a good one!

So tonight we went to a Parentcraft-Twins class at the hospital which was good but which would have been better/easier if DH and I were actually speaking!!! I suggested earlier we meet in the nearby Waitrose, but instead he got to the hospital an hour early and said he wouldn't come and meet me in Waitrose (five mins on bike). After a difficult three-mile cycle during which I had discovered that - bizarrely - both my bike lights had died so I had to cycle on the pavement, I ended up getting us both on-the-run food but then it started really tipping down when I got back on my bike and so I arrived at hospital soaked to the bone in a bit of a fury. I know I didn't really have a leg to stand on being so cross at him, but he hadn't wanted to come to Waitrose and if he had I could have worn his waterproof trousers at least. And in the first place we'd agreed (or so I thought, anyway) to meet there, and he was a whole hour early so could easily have gone for us both. It's always me who does the practical stuff. He never thinks ahead or forward plans - I find that exhausting. So I was really p*ssed off when I got there. I just needed a rant which would have passed in ten mins. All I need him to do is say something like 'Yes, I can see that there was a confusion' or 'Sorry you got wet' or 'Thanks for my pastie' or something bloody human to move things along but instead he gets like a hedgehog into a ball of defensiveness and starts having a go at me. Every. Bloody. Time. Neither of us wanted to be there in the end. I tried to pacify things immediately before and halfway through but nothing. Stonewalled. Which made it really difficult to meet other people as he's so shut down. He didn't say a word the whole way through when all the other dads-to-be were being brilliant and asking loads of questions and stuff. I was really quite embarrassed by his grumpiness, long after mine had subsided. We cycled home in silence and I've got really cross since we got back - I don't want to be married to an intractable hedgehog. I want someone who will be magnanimous once in a bloody while. Okay, rant over. (Oh and this isn't pregnancy hormones - I'm afraid we're like this usually!!!)

ThreeForTea · 04/10/2012 23:48

Oh manda :( I so recognise that story. It sucks so much, specially when it seems like its over such a small initial thing which you would completely get over really soon if you only had the acknowledgement of how you are feeling.
With dh I'm beginning to think that when he stonewalls and turns accusations onto me that deep down he is actually feeling really bad, and maybe a bit 'not good enough' as a husband, but just can't deal with those emotions and so just deflects as a reflex. He has as much admitted this in our really connected conversations, but I still get really sick of having to be the one to make the peace and be the emotional adult! He's actually got a lot better since having dd though, so you never know! Hope you're feeling better now anyway :)

I'm praying I wake up restored to health, but will probably have to stay home again tomorrow unfortunately. Has been good for my second crochet blanket at least, should be good to go by lunchtime at this rate!

mandasand · 05/10/2012 00:01

Aw three thanks! I'm so glad it's not just me! I do get cross about stuff but it passes as quickly as blustery weather. I'm an emotions-out person and he is soooo not. He has said that he wishes he could react better, which is something, at least, but he doesn't seem actually to be trying to make it happen over the years!

I am reassured to know that your DH has got a lot better since your DD came along. I wonder if DH will change? I wonder if I will? I know I can't get so grumpy. Instead I will no doubt learn to keep my emotions inside and die of an ulcer instead! Very much a better-in-than-out sort of person! With grouchiness, opinions, windiness, you-name-it!

Woohoo for your crochet blanket! Tho not so woohoo about still not getting better Sad Hope tomorrow is brighter for you!

theTramp · 05/10/2012 00:09

Vivee - how about Cleo? Em - how funny. Prob not a gender thing. I really can't cope with spices (even black pepper = ott) so the sauce wasn't my thing & I hate chutney but someone recommended them & I love falafel and halumi. Ah well, lesson learned. 3fortea - the name book cause it's Irish. I think Finn is a girls name. I also think it's way to common. See also Connor and whatever the other ott Irish name was. No no no. Two parents, heritage hails from more than just Ireland. ( Grits teeth, looks stern). Zoey - go to doctor or A&E tomorrow & demand help. Rainbow - so pleased alls well & you can relax a little. manda - penguin dictionary of first names by David Pickering. And I would have been bloody furious! Detractable hedgehog meet pissed off were-tiger & quake. Ok so it's not necessarily diplomatic & constructive but you're carrying twins, his twins and it's time he stopped behaving like a numpty. (Just how you'd expect a were tiger to speak yes ;) )

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theTramp · 05/10/2012 00:09

Apols for formatting copy & paste being annoying.

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mandasand · 05/10/2012 00:14

numpty just about sums it up! such a good word. thanks tramp.

zoeymlucas · 05/10/2012 07:36

Amanada sounds like my DH he shuts down and refuses to discuss things where as I am a more say what you think and get it out person! I know I am hot tempered and will explode but I hate the fact he won't discuss it or put his side across I believe if you think your right fight your corner!!! Also DH is so blinking stubborn and where as I say/ shout it then calm down he keeps going- drives me insane!!!!!

Well just got the guts to weigh myself since my booking in appointment and have lost 6lbs so maybe this not being able to eat dinner thing is not all bad I suppose!!!

Sorry I ranted and went to bed last night DH was moaning about the smell of sick and even though I cleaned it up myself was still moaning and then was moaning I wasn't eating again so I though rant to people who actually get the hormones and feeling crap Blush

rainbow I am so glad you felt better but also disgusted on your behalf you needed to pay privately to find out- if I was you I would def push and demand reassurance and wouldn't feel bad about doing so!

HermioneBoo · 05/10/2012 07:40

Morning everyone!
manda oh that sounds like a horrible night, I'm like you and get it all out in one blast whereas my DH will sit and brew over it all flipping day, drives me mad because I can't remember what the disagreement was by the time I'm bored of him being funny with me. His self esteem is very low but that's improved since I got pg, hoping it'll continue to improve when BabyBoo hopefully arrives next March! It's so embarrassing when they are cross in public though, I've missed quite a few social things over the years because he's been upset with me over something, hope you can sort something out soon.

I'm worried about the flu jab next week if you suffer from flu after! I've never had the flu jab before but thinking about it DH has one every year and is always laid up in bed the next day. He's got his tomorrow and then we have a family reunion (his side, both anxious about it but going to get through together!) so he's likely to be shattered on Sunday. Right, better store up any energy I have so I can look after him!

zoey I hope you feel better this morning, sending you stomach calming vibes and a warm blanket.

Em2010 · 05/10/2012 08:27

Morning All,

Oh I thought I was the only one with a hedgehog husband!! manda you have just described my marriage!! Like three said I gave begun to suspect its just his way of coping with feeling a bit guilty but unfortunately in the heat of the moment it just enrages me more! The good news is that our relationship improved enormously when ds came along, fingers crossed when we have two it wil be doubly improved!

Thanks for everyone with grumpy husbands or who is feeling unwell- get well soon!

ThreeForTea · 05/10/2012 09:06

Haha think understanding dh's could be quite good training for having toddlers - definetly the same level of patience required at least!

Hermione how is your immune system at the mo? Mine is so rubbish that think that i'm not going to have the flu jab done (will check with doc first) because I seem to be being floored by every single sniffle around at the moment, and it may kill me.

Zoey I hope they can do something for you soon!

Mil coming today, just for an hour randomly (and thank goodness) so don't need to worry about sorting bed out for her. I do like her, she's just a very complicated person who definetly seems to have never learned how to deal with her emotions! Explains a lot actually...

Sheldonella · 05/10/2012 10:28

Morning all, are we glad it is Friday? Well DH and I went out for our meal last night but I developed an aversion to the beans in my main course and couldn't eat much of it. I felt a bit silly leaving 3/4 of it but it just wouldn't go down :( Still, we had a nice night out and the starter was delicious.
I have been doing some more thinking on prams and the like. I think we have decided on a Phil & Teds Dot (until I change my mind again) which MIL has kindly offered to contribute to. I am now trying to decide which would be more useful - small carseat and adaptor for the pram or just the carry cot and stick to my idea of a car seat that will last for longer. Those who have already done this, your opinions would be much appreciated Grin I missed the nappy talk too - which bamboo ones is you have seen (I think it was tramp that mentioned these). I think we will have disposables for the first couple of weeks and for when we are out and about but I really want reusables after that. I had assumed old fashioned terry towels but I think I ought to look at the alternatives.
Still loving the name talk! Matilda is lovely, as some of you have discussed. I love flower names but they seem very popular.
zoey So sorry you are still so ill. Are you going back to the doctors? I really hope they can help you.
manda Sorry to hear about your DH problem last night too. I am also a get it all out person and mine just stays quiet! He doesn't keep it going long though that is more likely to be me. I hope he sorts it out today. The twin evening sounds nice though.
rainbow I too am disgusted you had to resort to a private scan. It seems to happen all too often. Glad your DD is doing well though.

Sheldonella · 05/10/2012 10:30

Hmm, that post didn't read very well at all - sorry. Can you tell I type a bit at a time when noone is looking? :)

theTramp · 05/10/2012 11:05

Shel - I'll be honest the one thing I didn't jot down was the brands, although they have the most fantastic names like apple cheeks and blossom bums. This isn't quite right but seriously they're not far off. I'll try to get the names down at the weekend and post up my notes for you on FB.

I'm off to research "baby stuff" on saturday with my Mum. Parents are coming here, MrM is going to entertain my Dad (me: so what are you planning to do with my Dad tomorrow then. MrM: dunno..hand him a paint brush? Me: noooo. MrM: ? Me: If I hear you've handed him a paint brush and then sat down and worked away on your lap top I'll be really cross. MrM: ?!? Me: Absolutely!). Anyway plan is to check out the heights of prams, depth and length of cots and so on and so forth. Jot down my favoured few then look around to see cheapest suppliers, what can realistically be bought second hand and so on and so forth.

My Mum is SUPER excited about coming soon Grandchild (first) and is regularly sending me little texts about things she's seen etc. I am mostly just listing names, listing pram makes and working out costs and so not nearly excited enough for her. I think 2 hours of baby shopping is about my limit and we're going for a whole day (eek) BUT she'll love it and I'll have copious notes and MrM gets to duck the trip which is probably for the best because he has zero patience when shopping which can be really bloody annoying. (Me: What do you think? MrM: hmmmm? Me: Have you not been listening? MrM: er no I just got an email from.... Me: ARGH! etc)

Today work and house cleaning! Tonight dinner with friends and ta da! Pregnancy. So should be fun.

How is everyone else doing today?

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Sheldonella · 05/10/2012 11:11

Thanks tramp. I saw a brand called BumGenius which made me laugh :) I have a similar weekend planned - going to visit parents and look at baby things.

tiddleypompom · 05/10/2012 11:12

Marking place but hi all & in brief:

Loving the names - Mathilda, Finn (I like it for a boy too), Bertie (Albert) etc. We have a def boys name and a probable girls, but can't share! Betsy is great but sadly the name of a close relatives much loved Labrador Wink Denise Van Outen's girl too, not that it matters.

Sorry you're feeling so rough zoey, poor you. Immune systems are down aren't they? Having said that I had absolutely no reaction to my flu jab a week or so ago. rainbow I'm happy to hear your little one is on track & thriving :)

Countdown to 20wk scan on Sunday...

Right gotta nap whilst DS does. We've been kicked out of the nursery as DH stripping paint & fumes not good. Night night!

theTramp · 05/10/2012 13:10

Bum Genius - FANTASTIC! ha ha

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