March 2013 Mk III - Hopefully the nausea will wear off soon...

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Afternoon all, great news about all the good scans, I am very jealous, can't come quick enough for me!

Anyone else got swollen feet? Mine are quite swollen and sore!

Midwife cancelled on me, so I can't have the NT done next week, but I just want scan anyway.

I'm on annual leave todday and I had plans to go and do some shopping and then see the midwife etc, but I am exhausted and nauseous, so the sofa is as far as I have got!

Oh that's great news Sarah! Really hope ours goes as well tomorrow a.m.!

Tramp, the time is weird isn't it - feels like days are going so slowly, and yet it will soon be Christmas and we'll all be waddling about and then panicking to get everything ready in time! (Or maybe that will just be me!) If tomorrow's scan goes well we may go to look at prams, but perhaps it is even too early days for that ? we'll see!

Thanks for your thoughts, Ethel. It really is helpful to hear other people's ideas, perspectives and advice. I guess I'm just used to controlling things in my life and the idea that these two bundles are going to turn everything upside down is making me a bit :-o Yes, definitely hear you on not setting a strict timetable. I think at most I'm making a Best Case Scenario Vague Plan, i.e. I'll plan on what happens if they arrive in Feb as predicted and if they are both healthy and good sleepers, and have various strategies in place for things not going to plan and amend from there!

I am just so anxious about speaking with my boss about it and I mean it really is terrifying because there are only the two of us on the project and he works 1 day per week and I work full-time! We've got a full schedule to 2014 and it is tricky, to say the very least, to be pregnant with twins at this stage. So I need to present him with that information and a (flexible) plan for how we can manage everything. I know the plan will need to adapt to reality, but there does need to be a plan just to reassure him that we can make it work and get him on board.

But hmmmm indeed about childminders being only able to take one baby! Shit! Well, that would scupper things! Closest family is 170 miles away?

Hey! Just a quick one re: childminders. We have a childminder my hubs and I are both teachers and found it to be the most flexible of childcare (parents evenings etc) I also hated the idea of dropping my 3 month old at a nursery favouring cuddles and the home environment! I only took 3 months first time round and plan to take 4 this time.

Anyway..... Back to my point!!! Our childminder was talking about how she can increase her numbers from September this year if the children are siblings?! So twins and childminder may be a possibility?! Worth investigating!!

Great scan news! Are you twelve weeks and they were able to take a guess on a boy?! I'm jealous!!

X x

Sounds like a good plan Manda, hope you didn't think I was being a doom merchant, that wasn't my intention!

No, really, Ethel, I'm really keen to hear people's thoughts and advice, especially as we don't have many friends with kids and no experience of our own to call on

Kirsty, thanks for that! I've looked up a few local childminders - loads within ½ a mile of our house - and I think that if tomorrow's scan goes well I'll give them a call and make some initial enquiries about twin babies!

Hope everyone's having a good day

mandasand and jojo I think its really important to keep an open mind about your OHs being the primary care giver (either on full time or part time basis). There is absolutely nothing which makes it any different for your OHs to look after newborns than us (apart from breast feeding obviously and then expressing comes into its own!). I think many of us assume that we have some additional right to be the primary caregiver as the mother but that assumption is not actually based on anything except societal norms and having that attitude can really scupper some very sensible options for childcare - its is no more scary for us to be left alone with our LOs than it is for our OHs!

Agree with everything you say, rainbow. Of course, with my comment "That is so brave of him thinking he'll cope on his own!", what I was referring to was the the broader context of him being in Scotland and JoJo being in Yorkshire during the weekdays - anyone, regardless of gender, would be brave! I'm not sure I could do it so hats off to you JoJo and MrJoJo for however you're going to make it work.

Unfortunately, I think my DH is only thinking of reducing his hours by one day. I'd love him to go even more part-time and for me to be able to work more in the early months, but it may be tricky because of the nature of his job, but we'll see. I'm really pleased he's volunteered one day though, as I agree that parenting should be evenly balanced between men and women as much as circumstances allow.

My DH is a stay at home dad and is so much better at the day to day task of cleaning etc than I ever was and he loves his new role and financially it makes sense for him to be at home as I can earn over double what he does.

I have no idea how long I will take off as he clearly doesnt work so mine is the only income in the house but is I have another c-section esp with my hypermobility I am sure it will be a month min and then see how it goes and then hopefully my boss will let me work from home to cover the important stuff. Have decided not to worry about it yet as there is no way of really 'knowing' until it happens.

Ok, I just folded and bought some maternity jeans in Asda. They are very very comfy and look like "normal" jeans. They are a little bit long for me though, I am 5'3 so not surprising.

My OH would like to be a sahd, but financially neither of us can be SAHP, I'll go back part or full time after 6-9 months, but will be trying for number two by then probably! But all this is a long way off, not thinking about it till after next Wednesday!

Sarah great news about scan, though with dd1 at 16 weeks I asked if she could tell the sex, I just wanted to know if they could not what it was, but she told me she suspected I was having a son, lucky I didn't take it too seriously as it was dd1

Manda good plan but agree with Ethel have a loose plan for boss then see how it goes, I find its people who have strict plans/routines they want their babies to follow find it harder to adjust because baby isn't fitting into their plans

Tramp its amazing how 1 little tiny person can take over your life and you will wonder what you and dh even talked about before they came along.

Manda I will definitely be waddling come Xmas dd1 is a March baby and I had quite a bump by New years that year

Ok, I have a few mins respite from cleaning etc, as we've got guests this w/end also (good luck to us all entertaining!). Happily for me not only is it bf & husband but she is 25 wks preg so I won't be alone sober & knackered come 9pm :o

Interesting chat re: going back to work. I have nothing really to add, except my own experience - having been ambitious career focussed high earner and now SAHM! I started my own business (with 2 colleagues, one now DH) at 23 and spent ten years working very hard and enjoying it (most of the time). When we got married (2 years ago) however, my priorities suddenly felt like they'd shifted, and I wanted to start a family. I merrily investigated nurseries whilst I was preg, intending to go back to work - and then resigned when DS was 9 months. We decided to focus on the lifestyle (family being the core for us) we wanted and put house (B'ham) on the market, buying a small-holding with my parents and moving to the sticks. Just our experience, but demonstrative of the huge changes to everything (including really set beliefs, values, plans etc) having a child can prompt.

Sorry for monologue! I feel quite passionate about it as I was so very ambitious and was succeeding at being really good at what I do. To have left it was not (as I worry people assume) due to pressure from DH, old-fashioned values, lack of ambition, laziness (!!) etc. I intend to work again, but you couldn't get me back to work and away from my babies right now for all the tea in China :o (I know how lucky we are to be able to afford and facilitate this choice).

Right. I want to pick flowers for the house. I am bizarrely nervous about friends visiting - it is important to me that they are supportive and (wait for this) that they like DS (WTF am I like??). Hmm, I think I may need psychotherapy...

Other news: sarah very happy for you and your (boy) jumping bean :)

Hello everyone. I have just been pointed this way

My due date is 13 March

Just marking my spot

Hey lady, welcome one board. You're going to have to give us more info though (first DC? throwing up like a hobo? doing a phd? inside leg measurement?). We're a nosy lot and there is no such thing as tmi :o

Hi lady you share the same due date as me :) However I will prob have mine Jan/Feb time

Tiddley you forget cravings, hormones and new bra size, lol

I am pretty nosey myself! here are some digits for you ..

Age: 32
CD: this will be # 1 (and last)
Symptoms (incl. throwing up like a hobo): NONE which leads me to ...
Anxiety levels: through the roof, i NEED my scan on Wednesday to assure me there is a baby in there and i haven't imagined the 700 pregnancy tests i did
MC's: one early loss at 5wks which is causing the above
PHD: errr no
Inside leg measurement: let me get back to you on that one, I think people think I am weird enough at work without me starting to measure my inside leg

oh zoeymlucas cravings:

sugary drinks. first it was orangina to the point where i had to go to different shops because i got strange looks for walking out with 10 bottles at a time.

and now it's lipton iced tea peach, starting to get the same looks now and shops in my area have none left

Today I am craving vegetables! yay!!

I bought salmon fillets, corn on the cob, green beans and new pots for dinner, yummy yummy yummy! Hopefully we can stop living on takeaways for a while and save some money and calories!!

Oh and Lady, welcome!!

thanks for the welcome!

praying for the day i crave vegetables! mind you by that time my teeth will be ruined from all the sugary drinks i have had and the veg will have to be pureed

My salt and vinegar craving has spilled over and now I want chips with salt, then vinegar and then salt again, in that order!!

Craving vegtables that sounds far to healthy for me :)

Have never tried iced tea but it might be worth a go :)

I am sure your scan will be fine lady is this your 1st scan of your little bean, alot of us are coming up to our second!! I had a MC in way at 7 weeks so totally get how you feel about being real when you see it and know its bouncing around in there x

Yes first scan (finally!)

I actually wish i knew how long the wait would feel, I would have gone for a private scan at 8 weeks! But it's thankfully around the corner now.

Only 5 more sleepless nights

Hello there lady and welcome!

On the vegetables front I had a large stir fry last night and it was delicious... And tonight I have pizza with er vegetables on top :)

Quickie! Back later!

I didn't get a bounty pack either! i know theyare shit but still

Welcome lady. Congratulations on first bean! I am sorry about the mc. It is awful isnt it? But it sounds like you are doing well if still sick etc. Those hormones are bitches but at least keep us in the picture!

I will also add my story to the working / SAHM topic, and it is similar to tiddleys. DH and I had good jobs, good money, prospects etc when we got pg with dc1. It was always assumed I would go back to work and we found an excellent nursery, part of a good private school we intended to send children to long term. And then I had ds1 and I was addicted to him!

I remember walking around the Downs (a stunning open parkland in Bristol) on a frosty November morning and tears streaming down my face at the thought of leaving him. It was about 6 weeks off me going back to work. Told DH and he said, well we won't have as much spare cash, but we can easily manage it, and I phoned my boss that evening to tell him I wasn't coming back!

Never regretted it. I am a bit conscious sometimes of being the living epitome of the type of person that gets short shrift on MN, ie Waitrose shopping, White Stuff wearing, SAHM doing the school run and coffee mornings, but this won't be forever, it is a phase I am enjoying and I know at some point I will go back to work, and hopefully do something I enjoy!

So, my take on it is, wait to meet your baby and then see how you feel. The choices made before and after the birth sometimes can seem worlds apart!