March 2013 Mk III - Hopefully the nausea will wear off soon...

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HarrietJones, I find them too heavy. I can't put my weight on them without them turning over (I've considered stealing a shopping trolley ) and I'm not stable enough plus I've got to push with no support.

Herminone - yes it is! The runny egg thing is American because they don't have Lion eggs. Ours are safe.

I've not eaten again tonight, seem to manage dinner on alternate days, although yesterday I ate quite early as I took the girls to see Brave and we went afterwards. I've just picked at things like grapes, although sometimes I can't even manage that. The ILs are picking the eldest two up tomorrow so just me and the baby here to feed, might just stick some potatoes in the microwave. Not sure how I'll get on over the weekend as the husband is back form Jersey for 4 days.

Just discovered a Clexane trick! Scratch your belly (or where ever you've decided on) you can feel the difference between a good one and a bad one, it's more subtle than using the tip of the needle but doesn't leave you with red dots or spurting blood!

Good to know about the eggs! Have felt guilty for my fried egg sandwich for weeks!

I have ulcerative colitis which has flared since being pregnant (so horrid) so am struggling to eat because of that. To complicate it further, I have an eating disorder (which is why I have the UC) so I'm also booked in to see a consultant! Fortunatly I am in recovery and so far no problems- carrying another person inside makes all my bad unhealthy feelings about my body go and I can appreciate how amazing it is- I am growing little Turkish!!

Oh and I got my pie last night- but chips not mash!! Fail.

tramp I crave meat when pg and can't stand it normally. I'm still limited to bacon/sausage/KFC though so not massively nutritious

Useful tip on the clexane confuddled

Morning! I was going to complain about my crap nights sleep, but I won't as I agree about the amazing ladies with health problems doing this. You are all amazing and also those studying. Last time I was pg I was doing an OU course and what with everything that happened I didn't get it handed in. I admire anyone that can study through this.

Ooh ted that is so exciting about the president Brie! I'm obsessed with cheese so is the hardest thing to give up for me. In fact I'm going to have melted Stilton and ham in a croissant for breakfast.

Interested in these slings and pillows, will be researching both today.

lexi that is interesting about hair. I got too much cut off mine last time so I've been avoiding getting it cut. Hopefully it will grow faster because it is looking crap. I went through a huge stress about work last time I was pg and worried about childcare and the like. This time I have decided to just not think about it and enjoy it as I've realised other women at work have it all worked out just fine. I do share your worries though.

I so want today at work over! Bring on the bank holiday. We are going to do some clearing out to get the room ready for the baby while I'm still capable of lifting things. I would also like to paint the room as its a dark red and we have a tin of cream. I don't want to do the typical pink/blue thing, much to my family's shock!

hermione I've been using a normal pillow for the hip pain, it's still helped. Interested to know how you get on with the special ones!
Thanks for the work advice, everyone - I know I am probably worrying unnecessarily I think as DH's mum didn't work when he was small & mine didn't till I was three we find it hard to see how it will work out - but I know it does work for 1000s of families!

Morning all just been having a good catch up on your posts - god I cant wait till I have internet at home I know have a phone line only took 9weeks and a router but the broadband signal isnt on yet, am sooooo bloody close!!!

Harriet thats rubbish about your scan I had one at 9 weeks too and have my 12 week 'normal' scan at 10.45 next Thursday and have my consultant next Thursday at 10.00 who will also scan me and check baby and cervix so now I feel super greedy

Thanks for the Clexane trick confuddled will try that when I do mine tonight.

With pillows Lexi I have a huge one thats sort of shaped like a G and gives me a nest, lol - but my physio said that pillows between your legs so they are apart by approx 6 inches is all you need to help hips/ back - cue the childish snigger of things of those sizes inbetween legs getting me in this situation, lol!

Glad everyone has had the odd drink as I had a small glass of cider the other day and felt very guilty however it was my first drink since April and it was a small glass - but it did taste blinking amazing

I had to get up early this morning - big report to write. I'm just up. Basically from alarm to now I've been dreaming that I was up and productive. Bit of a shock when cat jumped on me and I woke up..

HarrietJ my DH is Cumbrian and all his family still live up there!
I am defo getting a special pillow if I get good news in a fortnight; after last time I vowed I would get a proper one as the bolster pillow I had just didn't do the trick.

Should also say, think when I get one it will be the dream genii one as they have, if I recall correctly) a semi circular bit to support your bump and a long bit to go between your legs (snurk).

Turkish, it's salmonella that you have to worry about with runny eggs, so you'd know by now. Lion stamps show that the hen was vaccinated against it, which is why ours are safe.

If you've not got this in your Bounty pack, you might find it useful. Pregni Pillow use the code BOUNTYMTB1 for a discount.

zoey love it - I would also have sniggered !
tramp I hate those dreams - I also have a realistic reoccurring dream where I oversleep including rushing to leave house, cross boss - always horrible when I wake up!
Day off today, preparing house for visitors, currently snuggled up in my dressing gown with the cats! Not very productive

Sounds similar to here Lexi, got ILs coming for weekend and need to have a big tidy up but currently sitting in dressing gown whilst DD eats her breakfast!

OMG today I had actually to leave the house to go to visit an archive in a whole other city and I'm shattered with the effort! Finally got here and the receptionist said 'My goodness are you okay?!' because I was huffing and puffing so much from walking up (admittedly a very big) hill! How I'm going to get back to usual routine after this damn book is delivered to the publisher I do not know!

Thanks for the kind words re deadline yesterday evening. DH got home and I burst into tears. Think had pushed self to far yesterday and I couldn't cope with the stress and adrenalin needed to finish the chapter. Think am just going to have to accept I can't work like a madwoman anymore!

I know a few talked about this yesterday, but is anyone else planning to go back to work - even if just a few hours a week - within the first few months? Or done that with newborns before? It will be working from home in comfort of study or, at worst, the very occasional day in London. I've posted about this on the twins thread and basically it seems impossible with two, especially if they are bad sleepers, but my head will not accept this information at the moment! I need positive stories!

Anyway, sorry to moan and stress! Morning all!

Morning all just a quick post so I don't lose you all, woke up this morning with very sore head only pain killers I have left were migralieve had to take 2 and hope that the small amount of codeine in them won't do any harm, went back to bed to be woke an hour later to a screaming dd2 who had just been sick dh felt with it all but I feel bad as I am normally so good with sick children

Felt with it should be delt with it, but that looks strange and my brain can't think

manda if I could, I would be wanting to get back to Uni within 2 weeks!! But realistically that's not possible with Uni being in York and me living in Aberdeen!
So I'm taking about 7 months off and hoping it doesn't set me back too much!!! I don't want my brain to turn into mush!! Or forget all of my basic training!!!

gummi your poor head! hope the pills work fast.

hmm, jojo that would be some commute! will you need to go back to york for a block of time at some point after baby arrives?

PS am terrified about the brain-to-mush thing!

To waffle on a bit more ... and I have tried to explain this to people who aren't academics and I know it doesn't make sense ... but I actually don't want to step away too far from my research. Research, writing, publishing is such a fundamental part of my identity (and I KNOW that this is utterly sad but there are good reasons for it) that I am concerned about my sense-of-self if I took, say, 9 months of pure maternity leave. An academic friend took 5 years off and has found it really, really depressing, demoralising and almost impossible to try to get back in the game - both practically/professionally and also psychologically. Really don't want that to happen to me. Also, I enjoy what I do too much not to want to continue and am at crucial time of career when it just wouldn't be helpful (in terms of the next research contract) to step out of the game. I'm pretty good at making impossible situations happen so will just keep fingers crossed as I step into the great unknown of motherhood!!!

manda I actually don't know how it will work yet!!! The OH wants the baby to stay with him and he will travel over every other week. Obviously that doesn't sit well with me!! I will have at least 3 months back in York, maybe more. But one of us has to cave in!!!
I understand how you feel about not wanting to step out of the game for too long!!

manda - there is a significant difference between 5 years off and 5 months off. I don't think you will lose your identity if you take 5 months off. Perhaps the best way to deal with this is to say that you will take the last month off before baby is born and the first two months post birth and then reasess? Setting strict criteria for yourself now is only going to create stress. Makes much more sense to have a looser plan which allows you to plan ahead, but also allows you to amend that plan if you need to.

I'm running my own business so I really cannot afford to take maternity leave, but I will take 2 months where I don't meet clients and I direct my staff from upstairs rather than in the office. After that I will be back in the office, although I fully expect that it will be on a flexible basis and if I need to hire someone to cover for me because I am not ready to run things then that is something that I will have to do.

I am not going to worry about this at the moment. I have a strategy, it has some flexibility built in and that allows me all the control that I need - considering I have absolutely no idea how I will feel once Socrates arrives. For all I know I'll be super mum and it'll be a breeze. But I suspect I'll be more like a woman in shock!

Tramp, you're absolutely right, I shouldn't be too prescriptive. And also that 5 years is not 5 months! (She wanted to get back in the game after 2 yrs but was deeply depressed / low esteem and couldn't get a job for 3 yrs - which compounded the situation. She wasn't a happy stay at home mum - far from it, poor thing.) I like the idea of directing staff from upstairs rather than the office, hehe! I bet people will enjoy having a new baby to coo over :-) You're right about the unknown aspects of first-time motherhood?eek!!

If babies come in Feb I will only have 18 months on current contract and it's in my best interests not to take 6-9 months totally off. I also figure that if I can do 3-10 hours per week, say, from 2-3 months into my mat leave (I will officially take mat leave, in case there is no job for me afterwards, as it's added onto the end of the contract) then boss will be more flexible when I return 'full time' but need to be flexible about what I can do when (e.g. not go down to London very often for 12-hour days). I also have certain things - like proofs of three books which will be going through press - and managing the editing work on two collected volumes (kind of project managing, i.e. being bossy about others' work!) that I will be responsible for doing to deadlines in 2013. No-one else can do this work as it's my name on the front of the book! But all this I can do from home, and DH says he may drop down to a 4-day week so he can be SAHD and I can have a good part of 1 day to concentrate on these work projects. I have this notion that I may be able to find a childminder who is willing to come to us for 2-3hrs on the other days to feed/change/look after babies/take to park whilst I get a bit more work done.

I know this must sound mental. But I've seen other academics do similar crazy things and it can work. Sometimes it has to. I think it's because on the research-related aspects of the job there is often literally no-one else in the world who can do it but you and meeting these deadlines has an impact on your ability to get the next research contract. It's a self-imposed madness in other words.

jojo, I sense he will cave! That is so brave of him thinking he'll cope on his own! Last night all the blood drained from DH's face at the thought of coping with two 2-month old babies on his own for 12 hours whilst I run a conference in spring (and it's my conference I really can't not be there!)

Had my nuchal scan and it seemed good! (don't get results until next week, but we saw the measurement was 1.4mm, which is normal). So relieved. Also told 70% chance it's a boy! Argh, outnumbered! I will prob get a phone call telling me I'm high risk because I'm such an ancient old bird, but all my instincts are telling me things are fine, and one thing I've learnt to do over my very long journey to have a second child is to trust my gut.

Baby was bouncing like crazy - sonography was chuckling away. Arms and legs going like the clappers.

Mand - it sounds like you do have a plan. You need to do some things, can delegate others and you can spare a certain no of hours a week in order that the stuff you need to do is done. Ergo, you won't be out of the game, but you will be out of the office for a bit. I think that will keep you and everyone else happy. It is more than most people do.

Yes, directing from upstairs. The commute to my office is a long one :)

Sarah99 - that sounds fab. How awesome. So do you have a pic or a video of bouncing baby?

I was talking to MrM last night about how we feel re: Socrates coming along. Terrified, happy, excited, trepidation... he's looking forward to the fun of being with very own small human but is also unsure about quite how much our lives will change - just knows that they will. Not a bad thing, just a know its coming soon. I know what he means. It is starting to feel more and more real, but it still feels far too fantastical to plan. I suspect that we'll get to christmas and then suddenly realise we need to get our collective act together.

ALSO I am flying along with this report that I should have started yesterday. Have decided that if I finish by 2pm I can reward myself with a takeaway pizza - mmmmmm. Right, must get back to it if I am to have my reward!

manda, just to echo what tramp said, my very best advice would be to have an open mind about what will happen post birth as you have no idea really how you will feel once babies are here. some of my griends who were very career minded really wanted to be SAHM after birth, and vice versa, some who thought they would love it couldnt wait to get back to work! And also with twins there is the added complication that depending on how early they arrive, they might be in SCBU or need extra time in hospital to a singleton baby so to set yourself a strict timescale of being back at work, even on very Reduced hours might be a bit difficult to achieve. Do you have family nearby who can help out with childcare? Also, not 100% sure on this but think I am right in saying that childminders are only allowed to take one baby (unless they are a couple, then I guess they could take two?) it's all because of ratios etc. Nursery could be a good option, that's what my mates with twins do. Plus most of them have family nearby who can offer some respite in terms of childcare, especially in those early, sleep deprived weeks!

Sorry if my post sounds really negative. I would just be really wary of trying to control too much at this stage what is going to happen post birth as you really don't know how things will go. You might have an easy pg, straight forward delivery and good sleepers, in which case, what you are talking about will be more than achievable, but I would say, best to not plan too much.

Sarah great news on scan!!