Jan 2013 part 3: the one where we are awaiting the wiggles!

[BuntyCollocks]

Thread 3; go!

Hello - finally joining this thread after lurking forever. I'm 40, and after an early MC last year, thought I would never get another BFP. It finally happened, after a nice holiday, while the GP was doing busy referring us for infertility investigations...

BuntyCollocks (29) DC2 EDD 28/12/12 scan date 9/8/12 She's a girl!
Pmgkt (33) DC2 EDD 28/12/12
Birdies (33) DC2 EDD 30/12/12 She's a girl!
Pascha (35) DC2 EDD 30/12/12
PricklyPickle (31) DC1 EDD 31/12/12 Scan 20/08/12
LowLu (31) DC2 EDD 02/1/2013
TootieMaroo (32) DC2 03/1/2013
MarasmeAbsolu (31) DC2 EDD 03/01/13 Scan 20/08/12 She's a girl!
Lora1982 (30) DC1 EDD 04/01/13
Allchik (30) DC1 EDD 06/01/13
Happyhow (26) DC1 EDD 07/01/13 Scan 20/08/12
EmilieFloge (38) DC? EDD 07/01/13
Norfolkinway (25) DC1 EDD 09/01/13
Octanegirl (34) DC1 EDD 09/01/13 Scan 22/8/12
BumgrapesofWrath (30) DC2 EDD 10/01/13
Eleda (36) DC1 EDD 10/01/13 Scan 28/08/12
DoIgetastickerforthat (age) DC4 EDD 11/01/13
Kim222 (30) DC1 EDD 11/01/13
Lulabel27 (29) DC2&3 (twins) EDD 11/01/13
CraftyGirly (26) DC1 EDD 11/01/13 scan 24/8/12
Tinyeyes123 (30) DC1 EDD 13/01/13
CreepyCrawly (21) DC1 EDD 13/01/13
Godzookey (35) DC1 EDD 14/01/13
PeshwariNaan (33) DC1 EDD 14/01/13
Hormonalhell (40) DC2 EDD 15/01/13
Cejay8 (32) DC2 EDD 16/01/13
Theboutiquemummy (35) DC1 EDD 17/01/13 Scan 30/08/12
ChutesTooNarrow (33) DC2 EDD 18/01/13
Glorious (28) DC1 EDD 18/01/13
Tugstonia (33) DC1 EDD 18/01/13
SpringFlowers (39) DC4 EDD 18/01/13
Eagleray (40) DC1 EDD 18/01/13
LetThereBeCupcakes (30) DC1 EDD 20/01/13
Silversixpence (29) DC2 EDD 20/01/13
mulan07 (27) DC1 EDD 20/01/13 Scan 31/08/12
Newbie6 (36) DC1 EDD 22/01/13
Bunny222 (31)dc1 edd 22/01/13
SigningGirl (age) DC1 EDD 24/01/13
SquealyB (29) DC1 EDD 26/01/13 scan 10/09/12
knuckingfackered (39) DC2 26/1/13
Mrsbugsywugsy (34) DC1 EDD 25/01/2013 scan 17/09/12
Thinkingpositivethoughts (28) DC1 EDD 26/01/13
MrsMallard (35) DC1 EDD 26/01/13 scan 11/09/12
Salt1 (37) DC1 EDD 27/01/13
Lilblondepessimist (33) DC4 EDD 28/01/13
MamaMary (31) DC2 EDD 28/01/13
Sebsmama (32) DC2 EDD 29/01/13
BionicEmu (26) DC2 EDD 29/01/13
Missymoo (32) DC2 EDD 30/01/13
DiscoDomina (31) DC1 EDD 30/1/13 scan 12/9/12
Brugmansia (35) DC1 EDD 31/01/13
Mummypud (32) DC3 EDD 31/01/13
PipIsOutNow (?) DC2 31/01/13 scans 20/08/12 & 19/09/12
Complicated24 (44) DC1 EDD 07/01/2013 20 wk scan 20/08/12

Great advice on the 'RELAX' front Mama, thank you :)

Hurrah for all the great scan news. So good to hear that everyone's buns are cooking nicely!

Preggo I really feel for you......that must be hard to see him at work every day.

Tugs good luck with the scan tomorrow.

I am very excited as had the maternity leave and flexible working chat with the HR Director and the Head of Department and it looks like it is all sorted! I am going to finish up on 11 Jan and come back on 19 Aug. When I start back I am going to work from home on Wednesdays and work 8.30 to 4 in the office and log on again from home after DC's bedtime if necessary (ah the joys of being a commercial litigator ). Actually very relieved as the chat went really well and they were appreciative about my being up front with things. Was interested to know what you are planning on doing?

My top tip: Thermal Mug. The opportunity to drink a hot cup of tea will not be lost on you all, I promise.

Complicated I'm hoping to go to the Baby Show but need to square it financially first as its going to cost a fair bit to get there. I will book tickets in a week or two if it looks promising.

Good luck for tomorrow tugs

I'm also planning to go to the baby show, so if anyone finds a discount code could you let us know.

I booked my NHS anti-natal classes today. It seems we get 2 2-hour classes at the hospital. I'm booked in for early November. Exciting stuff!

The tips are all really good, thanks and keep em coming. I for one am completely clueless!

I found this code on a Babycentre thread which seems to work. BSL13 which gets you tickets for £12.95 for one or £24 for two as opposed to £14.95 each. Not a huge saving but I didn't see anything better for the previous show in Birmingham in august.

hello everyone,

i've just caught up on all your posts as we are staying in a hotel with wifi.

i'm definitely putting on weight although it might just be all the pizza and pasta i've been eating.

i've been swimming and trying to do a bit of yoga while i'm away.

i also had a meltdown this morning, it was raining and i slipped and fell over on the pavement. luckily i landed on my knees and just have a massive bruise to show for it, but i burst into tears and lots of passers by stopped and stared and dp had to take me to a cake shop to calm me down.

i also have scary veins and my latest attractive symptom is.....sideburns! luckily i have fair hair and they aren't too noticeable.

Hey there

Good top tips so far... Here's my tuppence worth...

(1) Everyone has an opinion when you've had a baby - the best way to do this and that... Ignore them and do what you feel is right, whilst smiling through gritted teeth. This can be especially true of health visitors, some of which have opinions garnered in the dark ages.

(2) Breastfeeding can be hard. It's simply not as easy as bottle feeding, but the bonding and the goodness of breast milk just can't be bettered. Lots of mums I know just wished someone had been honest with them and said, it is going to take a while to sort out, but stick with it. One friend went to a different breastfeeding support group every day for a week til she'd got it sorted.

(3) Day 3/4/5/6 after birth can be a bit of a shock. My milk 'came in' and I had a moment sat in the bath where my norks were so big, inflated and hard that I felt like Jordan. I had a bit of a cry, felt a bit better after. Hormones just going crazy at that point.

(4) Get your partner to read "What Mother's Do" (and read it yourself for that matter). hwww.amazon.co.uk/What-Mothers-Do-Especially-Nothing/dp/074992490X
The author, Naomi Stadlen, says that "feeling disoriented, confused and uncertain" is totally normal, if not right, and is very reassuring for new parents, without being a 'how to' guide.

(5) Our mums and Mother in laws are really great at hoovering, cleaning kitchens/bathrooms, hanging out the washing.... Take advantage of this when they offer to come over. Never let them leave without having completed a housekeeping task.

hope you are ok after your fall bugsy, i too look a bit like elvis and need to find my tweezers.

thank you for all the top tips x

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost weight since the last time i weighed myself . I did that graph thing and I'm on the bottom line - am now paranoid. I eat whatever I like, when I like. Though I am chasing round all day with DD so probably get a decent amount of exercise.

Anyone else not put much weight on? I'm nearly 25 weeks and gained only 6.5lbs. I do have a decent sized bump, i think.....hmm I'm sounding like an over paranoid woman

Birdie - I looked at what my weight gain had been with DD - it's waaaayyy below the line (I did put on approx 7kg over 42 weeks, starting from a normal BMI).
This time, I think I have put on a bit more, but my work has changed: I am now sat on my arse at my desk about 10 hours a day... hardly physical!

HI girls can i join? i have been lurking for ages! I am 21 weeks pregnant with no4. This one was a bit of a surprise, we thought we were done! I am due 22nd Jan and we don't know what it is as it wouldn't uncross its legs.

For those worried about weight gain i have so far gained nothing (so sick last week i ended up in hospital) but still have quite an obvious bump. This happened to me last time and i still ended up with a healthy almost 8lb girl so theres probably no need to worry if your not gaining loads yet! She started school this week so am finding myself at a bit of a loss in a wierdly quiet house.

X

Thanks marasme. And apple (and welcome!)

apple wow 4th baby. You must have some good tips for us! What about tips for second time mums and managing with two?

Scan was amazing!! So much detail and our little bun waved! We resisted the temptation to find out the sex so we'll be having a surprise :) He/she has long legs and a long second toe just like his/her daddy! Oh and my placenta is now posterior and high, having been anterior and low at the 12 week scan. I'm all blissed out now... x

thanks salt, i don't think i did any damage except for a bruised knee (and pride).

i haven't weighed myself but am getting quite a bump!

i think the bump has made the pregnancy more real to dp, who is starting to seem more excited.

I had a little tour today around the maternity unit in the hospital. It's small but very well equipped - they've got all the toys and pools, balls and what not. Some of the rooms are really quite nice with lots of light. Had a chat about c section vs natural - the midwife was pushing for natural and I just wish I could get an IMPARTIAL view based on meta data (ie true collected data) so I can make an informed decision. Most statistics are used to support one argument or another so are not a true representation. Tricky.

I love reading everyone's good news on scans and things, and wishing everyone well!

welcome Apple!

I've caved in and bought some maternity tops as everything is starting to get a bit tight! Rather disappointed about what's on offer though....makes me think there is a big gap in the market out there....

had a meltdown at the doctors yesterday (feel slightly better that others have too: sorry!) and she's signed me off work for a week. only been one day and I feel more chilled already seriously considering leaving early and sod the money.

Evening Ladies,
Just got back from hols and so wanted to catch up on all the lovely scan news! Windermere was great - DH and i went mad buying up the Beatrix Potter shop - so the nursery is definitely going to be Peter Rabbit and friends 'themed'

What do you all think about doulas? As in, i've been looking at having one as a birth partner - can't really afford it but what the hell, would be great to have someone to support a first timer like me and also my DH who will probably faint at the first sign of any action.

Am really tempted to meet up with a couple a bit nearer the time and then make a decision but wondered if anyone else had thought of getting a doula on board to help?

We also don't have any family near us so thought it would be good to have an expert on hand whom we could meet at home before hand and also could come over after the birth.

Thanks for the code Pascha. I'll order some tickets over the weekend.

Welcome Apple congrats on number 4! Lovely to have you with us. Feel free to add yourself to the list if you want.

Sounds like your scan was fab Tugs Its amazing how much bigger they are now, they really are proper little babies in there!

I can't believe at 24 weeks my little one is a foot long already! I'm not going to weigh myself, I look like I'm the right shape, that's good enough for me.

I've just got back from viewing a house. DP saw it on Wednesday and loved it, so I went today after work and took my parents for an unbiased opinion. It was lovely and in exactly the right location. It had 2 loos, I've never lived anywhere with 2 loos, it seems decadent! I've put an offer in, so fingers crossed everyone.

Not sure about doulas, I think I'd be worried there would be differing opinions between them and the midwife, and I really wouldn't want that, but if it would make you feel more relaxed then surely it would be worth it. Anything t make the process easier.

I am having a doula! She's a friend of mine and will be amazing I'm sure.

I really really really wished I had someone else there at my first birth. I think there's so much responsibility placed on the birth partner, most often a husband / boyfriend, and frankly they can't do everything or know everything.

Doula's are not trained as midwives, they are not expected to do anything 'medical'. They work with the midwife, mother and birth partner.

They are there to support you and your partner and make sure your wishes are followed during labour. Recent studies show that births supported by doulas have less interventions (e.g. forceps).

They also provide someone who is a constant during your pregnancy, birth and afterwards, helping often with breastfeeding and the first few weeks. I would pay ££££ for a good doula. In the future, I would like to see doulas offered on the NHS for every woman, please!!

Check out:
doula.org.uk/

This is my doula, Rebecca:
hackneydoula.co.uk/

p.s. good doulas get booked up, so meet some now if you're thinking about it...

I've seen a couple of doula assisted births on One Born Every Minute and other such programmes. seemed a bit 50/50. some were really supportive of the mother and the midwives, while others came across as quite combative with the medical staff, thus creating a bit of an atmosphere. I guess clear ground rules are the way to go, and possibly a chat at the beginning between MW and doula so everyone's clear?

i've chosen my mum and my cousin for my birth partners. 6 births between them so hopefully they'll be able to tell me whats going on and what to do!

@preggofabulous

Great that you are having your mum and cousin. I really believe in the power of women around birth and having people with experience, who you know and love, is fantastic.

I've not watched any of One Born Every Minute, so don't know of these specific cases. If a doula is not respecting your choices and your rights, then she shouldn't be there, and I'm saddened if that's happening. However, if the doula is 'combative' with the medical staff, it may be that she's trying to make sure your birth plan is being followed and you're not being pressured into unnecessary intervention that you don't want, for example.

hi bealos and preggo - i agree, think the best thing to do is give a couple a call to check out their experience, costs and how comfortable i guess i'll feel with her.

Preggo - v lucky to have your mum and cousin - i'm not close to any of my cousins and my mum lives abroad, as does DH's mum so another reason i wanted to go down doula route.

Bealos - have checked out the link and will give a couple a call soon - will let you know how i get on! :)