March 2013 Mk II - anyone for a wotsit?

[tiddleypompom]

Did it work??

Old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1499521-Due-in-March-2013

Stats:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1499519-March-2013-stats-thread

Hi all,

Had booking today. All fine, but was refused early scan. never mind, just feel exactly as possom described.

Ah thanks for the messages, and I do keep looking at the little pic dame!

The consultant was so kind - even when I cried. It was just so much being in the same room as I was in in Feb to be assessed for MC, but this time to be told that all is well! We are so so happy.

Will have to join you all in the dubious foods diet. Have eaten snacks and crisps and cup a soups and bits like that constantly between meals. I just went to Sainsburys and had no idea what to buy or what I fancied! Such a strange feeling. Came back with

Chocolate milk
sausage rolls
pepperami's (mostly for dd)
salt and vinegar crisps
3 types of yoghurts
some fresh figs
potato smiles
salad
cookies
bread (request by dh)

Just your average nutritious family shop!

Oh no Ethel just saw your post :( Thats really rubbish.

mrsR I am not a full time veggie (I just really like veggie diet) but my main craving has been meat. I'm not sure if this counts but they really curb my meat cravings - Bacon Frazzles.
I usually get my biggest cravings at breakfast so these crisps are a yummy way to start my day :)

Well I had another scan today which confirmed me to be bang on my dates (7+3) and there is a heartbeat going strong in there. Unfortunately this does not bring me much comfort because I still don't believe there can be a good ending. I found going for the scan incredibly traumatic because the last time I was there was when they were confirming that DD had minimal chance for survival. They have a screen showing films of happy parents having scans and holding healthy newborns in the waiting room and I burst into tears because it felt so misleading to me to be shown those kinds of naive images. I absolutely hate crying in front of anyone and am always so mortified when it happens in public. It was an absolutely horrible experience and the midwives were incredibly condescending, asking me why I had got myself into a 'stew'. Still another day almost over and I am still pregnant so have to hold onto that!

dameflamingo I don't agree that 'blissful ignorance' is a virtue. When DD was stillborn I desperately wished that I had been aware and read up on the fact that you can have a seemingly perfect pregnancy and still end up with a stillbirth and that it happens to more people than we think. It wouldn't have made it any easier but it would have been less of a shock for me and helped me to cope better if I had read about it and been aware of statistics etc. Its a bit like we all know that miscarriages can happen early on and if it happens to us, we are a little more prepared and it does soften the trauma (if not the pain). I am all for arming yourself with as much information as possible, even if that information is upsetting.

rainbow did you have some counselling after the death of your baby? Did anyone talk through with you what happened last time? I totally agree that forewarned is forearmed, but it doesn't change the fact that if something dreadful happens, it is still devastating. I really have everything crossed for you that you have a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy, and hopefully the additional care you'll get this time will help you to feel more confident over time.

Sorry if I sounded like a doom merchant earlier today, just was really hoping that I might get an early scan to set my mind slightly more at ease. My mw was lovely and really pragmatic so hoping that I will be able to see this pg to a happy conclusion with her. Seemed to think I should be ok for mw led care (last (failed) pg i was recommended consultant-led for delivery due to minor complications last time.) also said she will try to get me out of having the GTT as I had it with DD and it came back fine, and I am not massively over the BMI threshold. Fingers crossed otherwise that's another 4 hours of my life I won't get back!

DD still a big poorly and SO whiney. God it is so wearing when you feel like shit yourself tooMy throat is still unbelievably sore. It is starting to really piss me off now...

...but apart from all that, I am fine!!

Much love to Vix - I am so sorry to hear your news :(

Sorry to hear that the MWs were condescending to you today Rainbow - I would have expected them to be far more understanding seeing as they are the ones in the know! Sorry if this is a naive question, but is stillbirth similar to mc in that you are no more likely to have another because you have had one already? Regardless of whether or not this is statistically the case, I know it will never stop you worrying, just like I won't be calm, like backwards and others, until I've had my 12week scan. I admire your attitude that you are pg right now and that is what is important - it's what I keep trying to remind myself when I'm panicking. If this does turn out to be my last pregnancy, I want to know that I have enjoyed it as much as possible.

I'm 9weeks tomorrow (by my dates) and have been feeling really bad these last couple of days and didn't quite manage to keep my nausea under control yesterday. We've had family over from Guernsey for the last 24hrs and DH wanted to tell them face to face rather than in an email in a few weeks. I had been a bit anxious, but after my sickness yesterday decided that it probably was okay to tell. Within a few hours of telling them, my belly has suddenly expanded again! I look massive again and may have to curtail my visit to my parents so we can go back home and get out some maternity clothes! That feeling some of you were describing of feeling full has been happening to me too!

I've now knitted a grand total of two squares of the baby's blanket - it's not going to be done in time at this rate!

I'm really sorry not to name check tonight - in desperate need to sleep and had loads more to catch up on than I realised. I am thinking of you all, your food cravings and your building plans. Hope you are all enjoying your Friday nights!

Ethelred I didn't have counseling as I absolutely can't imagine anything worse than talking to a random stranger about myself. There is nothing anyone could have said that would make the situation any more bearable in any case. I know it helps some people to talk but I am one of those people who firmly believes that it is better for the individual to find strength within themselves to keep going - for me that is the better solution for the long term. We come across the bereavement midwife at the hospital at the time but she was absolutely no help whatsoever and so many of the other midwives kept trying to console us by saying we could have more children - which is basically the worse thing anyone can say to you when one of your children dies. That put me off ever speaking to anyone about the experience ever again.

pipsicles no two stillbirths are the same - many are totally unexplainable and some have underlying causes which mean increased risk of recurrence in subsequent pregnancies. In my situation at the time the consultants were adamant that I was suffering from severe pre-eclampsia which set in very early but which wasn't spotted until it was too late (I had absolutely no symptoms and the DD was perfect on all the regular scans). If that was the reason then the likelihood for another stillbirth is horribly high for me. However I am seeing a pre-eclampsia expert now who doesn't think it was pre-eclampsia and is trying to help me to determine the cause - so stuck in no mans land at the moment in terms of trying to determine what my risk is for another stillbirth. Unfortunately this means I am haunted by the thought of there being two graves for me to visit in the future .

Having said that, who knows - in 7 months time I might get to hold a healthy squirming little one! At least I have gained a massive appreciation for how lucky I would be to be in that situation and will relish every single sleepless night .

dameflamingo Im 8+1 and did an image search yesterday coz i wanted to know the size of my bean. Loads of ultrasounds pics then that horrible pic someone decided to add to the internet. Stuff like that should be banned, made me feel really sick and won't be image searching again. Bean is size of kidney bean or raspberry.

rainbow hope you didn't think I was being intrusive, just trying to understand a bit more about your situation. Really really got everything crossed for you.
Xxx

Ethelred I don't mind the questions at all. Thank you for the support x

Morning all :) I think hitting the 13 week mark today is good for me! No nausea again!! I'm aiming for a 4 day stretch here.
6 days to go until i'm meeting my baby for the first time :D
Taste buds are returning too - yesterday I was craving kiwi fruit :)

Morning all,

Think I've caught up, rainbow a friend of a friend had a still birth at 9months, she then went on to have another baby, the baby was abit sick when born, and they were going to send the mum home and keep the baby another few days, she kicked up a stink and said she wasn't leaving the hospital without her new baby in her arms, she got her way, and was allowed to stay the 2 extra days, I really think there must be a lack of training for midwives to deal with delicate situations because I have heard so many stories

Good morning all.

JoJo- congrats on meeting the 13 week milestone. Feeling a bit jealous of the no nausea.lol. Enjoy your nausea free pregnancy. Feels like ages away from me to reach that 12 week stage.

rainbow- my SIL had a still born and she went on to have a beautiful daughter afterwards. She's now pregnant again. So just to say be hopeful no pregnancy is the same. I really hope you have a beautiful baby.

I found a remedy to my nausea. No talking too much and sleep practically all day. Which is completely unrealistic.

kfforever I still think my dates are going to be set back at the scan but thinking I'm 13 weeks is a good placebo so I won't complain :)
Its nice to have a taste for food again though - even if I can't eat a lot as I get full really quickly.

Morning All,
rainbow in really sorry to hear that the midwife was so insensitive to you. I hope the hcps in charge of your care have a good plan to monitor you very closely. Japan has the lowest rates of stillbirth in the world, they also give women some of the best monitoring, undoubtly that's not a coincidence.

Got my letters through! I have a hospital appointment with the consultant on 22 August to discuss my ''high risk' pregnancy (I hate that term!) and then my scan on 3 Sept, by which stage I will be about 13+5 or something but I've decided not to go for the nt screening anyway so that will be ok, I'm glad it's a bit later, then i might actually believe that bean is ok!!

Morning - ish!

I got the results of the blood test yesterday just before I left work, 8,063 on Wednesday has risen to 14,689. Not too reassured as it's not exactely doubled to the 16,000 I was hoping, but it's not far off and at least it has risen. Plus, when you get to 6 weeks it can take longer than 24 hours/2 days for the hCG to double. So haven't really got the reassurance I needed, but until the scan, I'm going to try and be hopeful.

DH keeps asking me why I'm so angry and moody all the time. I don't think I am, but it would be understandable as he's being a complete twat at the moment. He was talking about dying before and I thought - that would be great, I'd have some peace and quiet, I could chuck out all the fucking crap that he insists on keeping and I'd be able to decorate.

Table in the hallway - looks awful and we don't need it, but because it was his mothers, we have to keep it.

House phone - one of the boys broke it and it no longer works, but he's keeping it.

Lamp shade - one of the boys broke it and he's decided to keep it at the side of the couch.

Fire guard - one of the boys broke it, it doesn't stand up properly, but he wants to keep it.

And if that wasn't bad enough, he loves nothing more than to completely pack a room full of shit.

The utility room - left over pain, coal bucket, endless plastic bags, shoes no one wears, hangers no one needs. numerous chemicals for the garden not to mention tools neither of us know how to use, water bottles and basically anything else he wants to dump in there. Stupidly I thought a utility room was for washing and trying clothes and storing cleaning equiptment. When the boys want to go in the garden, it's easier to go out the front door and through the alleyway to access the garden. To get through the utility room you have to go side on and take baby steps. Often you fall. Go help us if there was a fire. DH though, thinks there is nothing wrong with the utility room being like this. Oh he also likes to leave the washing machine door open to let some air get in it, then when you open the utility room door you end up smashing it into the washing machine door.

And whilst we're on the subject of doors, DH and his father lock them at all times of the day. So if someone comes to visit, the door is not just closed, oh no, it's LOCKED behind them and when it comes to leaving, it takes 10 minutes to find the keys before you can get out (this is a particular favourite of DH's father). Personally, I just close the door and when it's the end of the day and no one is going out and we're not expecting visitors, then I lock the door. Not that theres any point because next to the front door is french doors that you only need to kick to open.

The fourth bedroom, or as DH likes to call it, the office, which is funny, because he never uses it, he always likes to sit on the couch breathing heavily whilst typing as loud as he possibly can. I've never seen anyone get so stressed by typing. The faster he types, the more wrinkles appear on his head and the louder his breathing becomes. One of these days he's going to geive himself a heart attack by typing. Anyway, the fourth bedroom is also know as his bedroom, because when we moved in, he insisted he had to have a bedroom for himself (just like his father does - can you see a pattern yet). The room is full of old books that his father wanted to get rid of and DH has never read them and contary to what he says, never will. Endless photo albums of DH and his old girlfriends, a cheap and nasty desk, an unused/broken computer, overly big chair, paperwork, old letters - he loves keeping old letters and their envelopes, dead flies and anything else he can stuff in there.

It will be interesting to see where DC3 sleeps as we have the master room, DS1 has his own bedroom and DS2 has his own room.

So basically we live in a nice house that I stupidly waste all my time cleaning only for it to look like shit because it's not decorated and DH clutters it with junk that we don't need and haven't the space for. Left alone with a bit of money and a handeyman I could make this place beautiful.

God I feel like crying. Any other woman would have killed the fucker by now.

I'm going to have to copy...

mrsr have you thought about just throwing out some off the stuff you clearly don't need? Not bag fulls at once but bits and pieces at a time, over time.
Clearly if he ever asks for the broken phone deny all knowledge (children have a wonderful habit of playing with things they shouldn't, and what's to say one of your children didn't accidentally bury it in the garden!).
It'l give you a little rush of power too - be sneaky :)

I'm 6w5d and apparently the baby is the size of an apple seed (excuse me whilst I go cut an apple in half to check how big this it).

tiddleypompom everytime I eat a Pot Noodle I end up being violently sick, though I only seem to want them when I'm not feeling well???

dameflamingo it's funny you should ask that, because whilst I wouldn't call it craving I have really fancied a kinder egg on more than one occasion. Sent DH to the corner shop for one last week and he brought me back a Bueno. Let's just say I was not impressed.

rainbowbabyhope good news about the scan. Unfortunately, after something has gone wrong once, it's hard to relax and enjoy any future pregnancy. I understand how you're feeling. It's a pity hospital staff can't be a little more sympathetic or understanding. I found the waiting for the scan hard last time as in front of me was a woman in the process of a late miscarriage and in distress and surrounding her were other women and their patners smiling at scan photos or looking on smiling, excited about their soon to be scan. I'm aware there are also incidences of women who are aborting their babies in the same room as women miscarrying and women with healthy pregnancies. I also agree with you that too much information is a good thing. I've seen the images put out their by pro-life groups and I'm glad they exist, although very upsetting, if it makes just one woman think about what they are doing then it's worth it. Also had I not have seen these images, when I miscarried it would have been a shock to have seen what I did. I'm glad about the written information we can access through Google (other search engines exist) that can help guide us to make the right decisions, explains things in a way that is more understandable than doctor speak and make us generally more aware of what can happen, when things can go wrong and why. Yes, I'm all for knowing as much as you can. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

gummyberryjuice not so much lack of training as lack of common sense.

JoJoBella84 I try to through stuff away all the time, but he always rescues it. There's some stuff that I can't get rid of without him taking it to the tip. Oh it really gets to me.

MrsR I feel your pain, your DH sounds just like mine. I was feeling like that too, so last week I went mental and chucked out loads and loads of stuff. My attic is now empty! DH is actually quite pleased now that he's realised he can get into our 'office' (sounded like yours) and play his guitar again! Hope you can find a compromise soon.

Right am much more positive today. I completely freaked out yesterday as the doctor's receptionist phoned and said she needed to make an appointment to redo my blood tests - of course my mind went into overdrive and just assumed something was wrong even though she said it was nothing to worry about. I just completely lost it! Am fine now though, they've probably just lost my sample or it was contaminated or something. Yes. 8+2 today - apparently baby is the size of a green olive. Have some olives in the fridge... might have to go eat some. Yummy! 3 days until my scan... shouldn't wish my life away, but I wish it would hurry up a bit. Have parked my arse on the sofa to watch the athletics for the day. Hope you're all having a good day x

Mrs Rigby I'm really sorry but I did chuckle at your post, I must say I'm probably more like your dh, BUT when we moved here dh refused to bring the contents of our attic into the house made me sit out in the garage and go through every box and burn most of the contents, (all my alevel and university notes) I felt brilliant and I love nothing more now than a good clear out so force his hand it'll be good for him
Or buy him a shed (small one) tell him he can keep what ever fits in it the rest is going to the dump

You're also right about the midwives, they shouldnt need the training it should be common sense

A lot of the midwives went out of the way to tell me that they were trained for bereavement situations but this really did not show. Some of them made me feel so uncomfortable - and they all had a massive complex about me having my independent midwife with me as a birth partner (as in my hospital the independent midwives do not have medical privileges). I had got to know my independent midwives so well over the course of my pregnancy (as they visit you at home really regularly) so naturally they were a good source of emotional support for me. The hospital midwives absolutely hated this and made it perfectly plain - something that I could really have done without at the time. Being on the maternity floor for days with loud labouring women having healthy babies all around us was always massively traumatising.

Having said that, on the whole, they did treat us very well at a difficult time. My husband stayed with me every single second and they set up a camp bed for him for the nights (not that we slept at all). They were very sensitive for our wishes at the birth and handled our little girl with great care which was really appreciated.

Is it too early for cravings?

All I can think of is a stack of pancakes with crispy bacon and maple syrup, it is totally distracting.

My cat has gone missing, so have to focus on something else, it seems to be food, even if the nausea today is rooting me to the sofa!!

Hi all
Just quickly checking in.

Vix I was so sorry to hear your news

MrsR I would not be able to stop myself I cannot stand clutter, luckily DH is just as anal clean and tidy as I am.

Can't see who it was now but glad I gave a giggle with 'norks'! Def got that from MN, also used fanjo to a friend the other day who hadn't heard of it but thought it was funny

Had booking in app - am the same as you backwardpossom 8+2 today!
Got scan on 3rd Sept at 12+4 which is very exciting.

On the down side, after losing half a stone and not keeping much down at all GP diagnosed hypermesis. Still feeling crap, have some motion sickness tablets which have taken the edge off the mornings but also make me incredibly drowsy

I am sorry this post is all me me me. It's soo hard to keep up with everyone when on my phone there is just so many of us and do many posts. I'll try to do a better one once on comp.